Ex Sex

Hi, friends. Here's a story I wrote back in 2017 for Go Deeper Press's post-2016 election anthology Alternative Fucks. I've hesitated from posting it here cause it feels out of date...but happy Capitol riot anniversary, I guess? Ugh. Anyway, hope you like it.

"He's a businessman," my supervisor, Brett, said as we waited for the elevator to reach the ground floor. He rapped his unopened cigarette pack against his thigh - once, twice. "He knows how to run a corporation. That's why I voted for him." 

I nodded. I looked at the red numbers, descending - 25, 22, 19...

Brett was tapping his foot now in an anxious, staccato rhythm. Did he really believe what he was saying? Was he just as shocked as I was? 

"So I have faith in him. You've got to. He's the president now - or at least he will be in a few weeks. It's just the way it is. And these protestors..." 16, 13... "...acting like it's the end of the world. So what if it is? Not much of a world, if you ask me."

I looked at him. Brett Parker - mid-forties, mid-level, mid-everything. Just another straight, white man desperate to hold onto what scraps of power and privilege the one-percent had deigned to toss his way. 

It's the only world we've got, I wanted to say. I'm dreaming of mushroom clouds, I wanted to say. But I didn't. I just looked at the elevator door.

Brett sighed. He probably knew where I stood, though we'd never talked politics before. Maybe we both knew it was useless to talk about it. It was what it was. Life goes on, until it doesn't. 

He grabbed the handle of his roller bag as the elevator hit "G." I followed him into the lobby. "So I guess I'll see ya back in Pittsburgh?" he said as our paths diverged.

"Bright and early Monday," I said.

Brett regarded me. "Enjoy the town tonight," he said, with a wink and a bit of a leer that, I have to say, I appreciated.

I watched him approach the concierge, who hailed a cab. Yep, I was staying in Miami for another night, though I wasn't sure why. I thought it'd be nice to have some downtime after the conference, see the town, maybe get laid...

Without thinking I'd walked into the hotel bar but then - taking a long, cold look around at awkward tourists and tired businessmen - one of whom was  hitting on the only woman in place (ineffectively, it seemed) - I turned on my heels and walked outside to get my own cab.

I'd been in Miami for three days and I hadn't so much as glanced at the ocean. I told the cabbie what I was looking for and twenty minutes later she was dropping me off on a road beside the beach. 

"It's just over there," she said, pointing toward the shore. "You're gonna love it."

The beach was dark but for a warm glow a block down - I walked toward it, down a salty-smelling side street to a long wooden boardwalk that led to the open-air, ocean-side bar. I did love it. It looked pretty straight, but it was lively and bright. A warm breeze went up my shirt as I approached. 

A group played darts at the far end of the bar. They were really into it. As I passed them I watched a lady make a shot. She got a bullseye! Everyone went wild. She looked around, saw me, and pulled me into a hug. Then another person gave me a hug - a hot, Italian guy who I assumed was her husband. They were all soused. 

"A round for everybody!" he said with beery breath, his arm still around me. He was beefy and handsome, with salt and pepper scruff on his face. He ruffled my hair, looked into my eyes. For a second I thought he was going to hug me again. But he let me go and I walked to the bar and took a seat. I watched him do a shot with his wife. They were both pretty hot, actually. 

Man, I'm horny, I realized.

"So what'll it be?" said a voice in front of me. I looked up. The voice had startled me - the face startled me even more. 

"Holy shit," I said. "Eric?" He smiled - his trademark cock-eyed grin.

"I saw you coming down the boardwalk," he said, some nervousness in his voice. I was instantly nervous, too.

"I can't believe it," I said. I stood to embrace him across the bar. The smell of him hit me, surreal like the look and sound of him. Like deja-vu. "It's been a long time," I said.

"At least six years," he said. 

"Do you live here?" I said.

"Yeah," he said, smiling and nodding.

"How long?" I said.

"Hmm..." he said, looking up at the sky for the answer - a gesture I remembered well and with affection. Eric and I had been partners for almost eight years. He was my first love and now here he was, in the flesh. My heart was racing a little - more out of nervousness than anything. I almost wanted to leave. He looked good, was the thing. Thicker than he'd been in his twenties. He had a sexy beard now and his chest and shoulders were rounded, fleshed out. 

"I guess about a year and a half now," he said. "Wait, do you live here too?"

"No, no, I'm just here for a work conference. I'm actually leaving tomorrow morning," I said.

"Ah," he said. He glanced down the bar. He had customers.  There was a clear plastic shot glass in his hand; he clicked it against the bar. "How about that freebie? What are you drinking these days?"

"Um...vodka and cranberry," I said. He rolled his eyes.

"Coulda guessed," he said. He walked to the shelf and grabbed a bottle. Talk about thicker - his ass was a thing of beauty, packed round and firm into his shorts. I'd always had a special place in my heart for Eric's butt; I'd forgotten just how easily it took me there.

Occasionally Eric would look up at me and smirk as he mixed my drink. My heart was beating quickly. All the shit we'd been through in eight years, and it hadn't ended well.

A DJ was setting up near the dart players and as Eric dropped off my drink and moved down the busy bar the DJ took over - blasting out some low-ended funk. The dart players started bopping around while they waited to take their turns and most of the bystanders were becoming more interested in dancing than watching the game. Mr. Italian and his wife were in each other's arms. I relaxed into the groove, sipping my drink and casually watching Eric do his job.

Just as I finished my first drink he was there with a second. I grabbed money out of my pocket and he waved it away. "Dude, it's the least I could do. Like, literally," he said. Eric had left me with a bunch of debt. Getting out from under it hadn't been a huge deal, now that I was ensconced in the business world, but it had made me angry. That feeling passed, though. Then a year ago Eric emailed me to apologize for it. I'd emailed back to thank him, cause I did appreciate the apology. But I hadn't kept up contact since then.

So I just laughed. Sipped my wonderfully strong drink. Eric buzzed around, all smiles as he served the growing crowd. When he reached above his head for pitchers or glasses his shirt would ride up over his firm, hairy belly, exposing the waistband of his briefs which hugged the shelf-edge of his bubble butt. Green boxer-briefs, it seemed. 

I hadn't gotten laid since I left Pittsburgh. I'd been on the apps all day, looking around, getting frustrated. Now here was my ex, out of nowhere, looking sexier than ever.

I let it go and enjoyed the night, which turned out to be a blast. There was a great energy to the place. I danced on the beach next to the bar, under the stars. By the end of the night Eric was ducking out too, bottle in hand, feeding us shots and dancing with me. We were touching, casually at first, then more familiarly, and the attraction was undeniable. But wouldn't it be the worst thing ever? I told myself I was just flirting with it; it wouldn't actually come to anything.

Then it was three and the bar was closing up. Thanks to Eric I didn't have a tab, but just as I was getting on a rideshare app he came up to me.

"Do you still smoke weed?" he said.

"I haven't in a while," I said, smiling.

"Wait for me," Eric said, picking up his rag and heading to the other end of the bar. "I'll be done in like twenty minutes. Then I'll roll a J. A little night cap."

Fifteen minutes later Eric was saying goodbye to his coworker, a young blonde girl with a cute smile, and putting his bag on his shoulder. "Ready?" he said. I followed him onto the boardwalk.

"Where do you live?" I said.

"I'm staying on a houseboat on the bay," he said. "Just for the next month or two."

"Then where?" 

"I guess I'll have to find an apartment," he said. Same old Eric. His lackadaisical attitude toward essential things had caused me much grief during our relationship. But I'd also loved it - the way he moved through the world so casually, with trust and freedom. It was so different from my hyper-responsible personality and we'd tried to adjust to each other - Eric taking an office job, me ignoring unpaid bills and overdraft fees. In the end we'd just wound up resenting each other.

The houseboat was really cute. Romantic, even. Eric put on some mellow music then went to the bedroom to change out of his work clothes. I sat on a comfy chair in the small living room. Had I lost something when I left Eric? Part of me wanted to be here, tending bar, living on a houseboat, not fighting traffic to sit in an office all day and listen to Brett Parker extol the virtues of our new autocrat.

He came out in a pair of shorts that showed off his butt way too well, and a tank top. 

"You look good, Eric," I said. He shrugged and smiled his adorable smirk as he sat next to me, then broke up weed on a tray in sprinkled it onto a rolling paper. He handed it to me, I lit it and we passed it back and forth silently, moving casually to the music.

"How about the election?" Eric said. I tried to say what I was feeling with my facial expression. Neither of us said anything for a moment. "I'm so fucking scared," he said, and passed me the joint.

"Me too," I said.

"The only thing that gives me hope is that three million more people voted for her. We're still out there."

"Yeah, but we're not in charge," I said. "And it's like, nobody cares."

"I know," Eric said, with a deep sigh. He looked at me. Gave me a stoned, relaxed grin. I grinned right back. We stopped grinning but kept looking at each other. I knew it was happening and I knew I didn't want to stop it. He leaned into me and I kissed him and then we were making out.

The familiarity of it was startling. The taste of him, the way that he shoved his tongue in my mouth so deep only to withdraw it and take mine - this, coupled with the knowledge that this was something I "shouldn't" be doing was so fucking hot. I was instantly hard. I reached down and felt his body - his pecs and thick stomach. I felt his crotch; he was as hard as I was.

I stood up and pulled him up with me. We pressed our bodies together as we kissed. I wrapped my arm around his curved back and pulled him closer. Eric was shorter than me and his thick, muscled body fit into mine like the orange inside a rind. I reached for that butt - so round, so substantial. He got breathless, kissed me harder. I put my fingers under the top of the waistband - he'd taken off the briefs - and felt the soft hair that fringed the area just above his ass. I rested my fingers into the cleft of his butt and he pushed back against them.

He broke apart from me, then. Looked at me with something like surprise.

"Fuck, Dave," he said. "I never imagined..."

"Is this a terrible idea?" I said.

"I don't fucking care," he said, and knelt down to undo my belt buckle, shucking off his shirt in the process. He lowered my underwear and let my thick cock unfurl. It hung there, hard, pulsing. Eric looked up at me for a second: there he was. My ex-boyfriend. 

"Fuck," he said. I felt that. We'd had some good sex back in the day. He loved being my total cock slave - taking it however I wanted to give it to him. So when he opened his mouth to suckle on the head of my dick that's what I did: gave it to him, slow and sure right down his throat. He moaned as he slid it in, till he couldn't moan anymore. He held it there, deep in his throat, as it pulsed. I moaned. He came off it. My cock was so red, so hard. He worked up a drop of precum. Slowly swiped his tongue up my shaft till the drop collected on his tongue. Swirled it around, savored, swallowed. 

"Fuck I missed this cock," he said. Damn. I guess we were going all out. 

"You missed my cock?" I said.

"Fuck yeah I did," he said and restuffed it down his throat.

"You got a boyfriend, now?" I said.

"Yeah," he said, glancing up at me.

"You like it better than his?"

"Fuck yes I do," he said, and started tearing off his shorts and impaling my cock down his throat again and again. I remembered how eager he was to have a cock in him - like it didn't matter if it was his throat or his ass, he just wanted as much of me as he could stuff inside his body. 

I got close to the edge a couple of times - the weed was making it all feel so hot and deliberate like I was outside of myself. He would look up at me from time to time but it was like my cock was his whole world.

"Get up," I said and yanked my cock out of his throat, picked up him by the shoulders and threw him on the couch. He situated himself so that that glorious ass - fat, bouncy and smattered in dark hair - was sticking out. "Fuck yes," I said, as he leaned his head and shoulders on the back of the couch, arching his back and spreading that ass out so that the cheeks parted and I could just barely see into its depths.

"Want me to eat your ass out?" I said as I shucked off the rest of my clothes. 

"Yes please," he said.

"I'm gonna eat it and then I'm gonna fuck it," I said.

"Fuck yes," Eric moaned. I knelt down on the carpeted floor, feeling the boat sway slightly as I inhaled the scent of Eric's ass - maybe the most memory-triggering scent of him so far. I paused and took my time, teasing him, licking all around his thighs and ass but just avoiding his hole. I wanted to taste every inch of that ass and remember what I'd been missing all these years. I licked up his scrotum and taint then rimmed right around the edge of his hole, making him jerk forward. He wanted my tongue in him so badly. I licked down the top of his crack, very slowly, and finally rested the tip of my tongue against his hot hole. It pulsed. He moaned. I kept putting pressure on it until the tip of my tongue was inside him. I slid it as deep as I could, feeling Eric relax to accept it.  

I licked him deep and I licked him shallow. I got him nice and wet and then I stood up and rested my cock against his ass. Fuck I was so hard. Eric looked back at me. I knew I looked about as good as I'd ever looked - my nearly hairless body cut and defined from frequent trips to the gym, my cock trimmed close to go with the rest of it, hard and thick and pulsing for him. I slid my cock against his wet hole. He turned back around and pushed his ass back against it. For a while we humped like that, until the head of my cock started to catch on his hole - not quite going inside but wanting to. 

"Do you have a condom?" I said.

"Uh..." Eric said. "Don't you?"

"I left them back in the hotel room," I said.

"Fuck," Eric said. My cock was right there. We'd fucked raw the entire time we'd been together but then, we'd been in a monogamous relationship and hadn't had to think much about that. 

"You want me in you raw?" I said.

"Fuck," Eric said again, clearly wanting it but debating it in his head. I pushed the head of my cock against his hole. It sunk inside to about the first inch. I could feel Eric's hole pulsing around my cock - so tight, so hot.

"Goddamn that feels good," I said. Eric suddenly reached over, moving so that my cock sprung out from his hole. He stuck his hand in the nightstand and pulled out a bottle of lube. He had me hold out my hand and he pumped a bunch of it into my palm. 

"Fuck it," he said. "Fuck me raw, dude."

"Hell yeah," I said, lubing up my cock and his hole. I pressed my cock to him again and slowly slid it inside, all the way until my balls were pressed against his ass. 

Eric had also brought out a bottle of poppers and he took a deep sniff then handed it to me with a wicked grin. Poppers were something relatively new to me - I'd certainly never done them with him - but I knew that they could make good sex insanely good. So I huffed deeply, once in each nostril, then capped the bottle and put it back on the bed.

"Just hold that raw cock inside me," Eric said.

"Fuck you feel so fucking good," I said, moving just slightly - in, then out, feeling his hole tighten around my cock when I held it deep. 

"Do you have a new boyfriend?" he said.

"Yeah," I said.

"Do you fuck him raw?" he said.

"No," I said.

"You gonna tell him about me?" he said.

"Hell no man. This is just between us," I said.

"Fuck I want your load in me," he said. I pulled all the way out, then went all the way back in, feeling every hot inch of him grip my cock. 

"I want to give it to you," I said. But I didn't want to lose it too soon. So I went slow and deep while the poppers made my head throb and my heart rush. Then I got into a rhythm as his ass opened further to accept my cock - holding his legs on my shoulders, fucking him insistently, watching my thick cock split him open.

He rode me for a while. His big cock was so hard, waving around like a baton as he worked his ass up and down my shaft. He brought out the poppers again and we each did a sniff.

"Goddamn Eric I forgot how hot a fuck you are," I said once he'd put the poppers away and was bouncing on my cock again. He smiled down at me, then he leaned down and kissed me. 

"Did you miss this ass?" he said, in between kissing me.

"Fuck yes I did," I said, then shoved my tongue deep into his mouth. I could feel him tightening his asshole around my cock and that nearly did it for me.

"Don't cum," he said, sensing that I was close.

"I'm not..." I said, but I sort of was. "Fuck I'm pumping so much precum into you," I said. 

"Hell yeah," he said. "Did you cum?"

"No...I just kind of pre-came," I said. I was still hard as hell and even though I'd pumped a good amount of cum into him I wasn't spent.

"I forgot you could do that," he said. "Fuck that's hot."

I got him on all fours, my favorite position. I loved the way his broad back tapered down to a tight waist which then flared out. I plugged it, going as hard as I dared cause I wanted to make it last. I slapped it a few times and Eric moaned.

"You want me to cum in you?" I said as I got closer.

"Fuck yeah. Breed my ass," Eric said. 

"I'm gonna. Fuck man gonna fill you with cum," I said.

"I'm gonna cum too," Eric said, though his hand wasn't on his cock. I pounded him deep and held it there, unloading my sperm into him. 

I collapsed beside him and he rolled over and into me. "Did you cum?" I said.

"Yeah," he said, laughing. "Without even touching myself. I'm lying in it."

"That was hot," I said.

"Yeah," he said. We lay there, quietly breathing, spent but thinking. The boat rocked. The clock on the wall ticked.

"It doesn't have to...mean anything, right?" he said. "Do you know what I mean?"

"Yeah," I said. "It doesn't." I felt him sigh. "Do you really have a boyfriend?" I said.

He laughed. "Sort of," he said. "Just this guy I've been seeing. What about you?"

"Same thing. Nothing too serious. I'm sure I'll tell him about this, though," I said.

"Yeah, me too. I...like him. We're pretty honest with each other," he said.

"That was the one thing we never got past, you and me. The whole open relationship thing," I said.

"Did you ever cheat on me?" he said.

"Uh...yes," I said.

"I knew it. With who?" he said.

"Nobody. Just some guy I met at a bar. Did you ever mess around?" I said.

"Uh...just once," he said. I laughed and pulled him closer into me. "Why did we even try to be monogamous?"

"I guess we didn't know any better," I said. "I just got tested last month, by the way. I'm HIV negative. I mean, as far as I know."

"I'm on PrEP," he said. "I could've said something but I was just going along with your fantasy."

"Good job," I said. 

We lay like that until we drifted off. It felt so comfortable, so right. Like reconnecting with an old friend only deeper, and better. A few hours later, though, Eric was awake and reaching for my cock which was hard. We flip fucked this time, taking each other for all we were worth. Raw, with lots of poppers - we fucked all night with occasional naps. He pumped at least two loads into me, I shot at least three into him. 

When I woke up it was late in the afternoon. My flight didn't leave till that evening but I did have to get my stuff from the hotel. I walked around the houseboat - there were other people's pictures on the tables, other people's stuff everywhere. He was just a guest, just passing through. I looked at his messy bags around the bed, everything temporary. That was how it was with Eric, and that was fine. 

I made us some coffee. My flight left in three hours, I figured that'd be plenty of time to say goodbye, pack up at the hotel and get to the airport. And it would have been, if that's how things had ended up working out.