Hot Dog Appreciation Day: Sex-erasing Voids for the Deeply Broken

Welcome, 🌭s, to your day of appreciation. We’re awesome. We know that. We know it so hard that we always do two-man Halloween costumes. This year we’re going as a centaur! (We’re both the man part.)

But this isn’t about us. This is about you. Did you know you’re awesome? Because you are. We have proof!

First let’s check in on Sissyneck Corner, where “bless your heart” actually means “bless your heart,” and “did you want tots with that?” is how you question a man’s virility.

This month Sissyneck got used like a sock puppet by a distinguished southern gentleman and if anything, it’s actually hotter than we’re making it sound right now.

The experience taught him some much-needed humility.

Now let’s move on to the Comments, where Drake has come up with our new tagline for the site:

Wait, no olwatty has it:

Shit, actually it might be Quicksilver’s:

AutoReroll, you’re going to have to workshop yours. It’s great, just a little long.

Disregard everything, it’s Tom who has the new 1900HOTDOG tagline:

Chris, sorry, this one simply does not work.

Although… what the hell. You’re back in the raffle. We’re determining this by raffle, which is the only true democracy left.

Gozan understands that every great comedian is defined by the nature of their enemies.

And by that logic, Skebotron is defined by Swaim.

And FancyShark is defined by “Froyd.”

Justin has ruined many a grandmother’s bathroom and they, in turn, have ruined him.

Chris makes the list again for the hottest fucking thing we’ve ever heard.

Chlorine has a Randy Quaid Eating ProTip for all you newbie Randy Quaid Eaters:

KVH has a ringing endorsement of the Hot Dog Store T-Shirts. No specific one, they are all guaranteed to do this:

Milo is worried about the implications of the Captain Carvel universe.

But he shouldn’t be, I’ll let Daniel comfort him.

Lydia really opened the floodgates when she talked about something near and dear to our audience’s hearts: yanking on that dick.

Now on to the Discord, where Noiretoon tries to explain why Anya Taylor Joy isn’t sexy, and Glitterbobo successfully explains why she’s sexy as hell:

Some of you haven’t fucked in a mushroom ring, and it shows.

Djonin keeps a running count of the times he’s burst into flame. However high you think the number is, bump it up by one because it just happened again.

If you’re intimidated about joining the Hot Dog Discord, don’t be! It’s a wonderful, welcoming place with a really cute initiation ritual where you pick a Heathcliff comic and we all have a laugh. Unless you get it wrong. Don’t fucking get it wrong.

Meagan Brockwife brings you a tragic warning about having unprotected sex with cigarettes.

Actually, not many people know about the influence Brockway’s wife has on the very foundations of 1900HOTDOG. Let’s take a moment to celebrate her contributions.

That’s right, she was the one who originally brought us Mountain Monsters AND Cocktails.

And now let’s take a moment away from this moment we’re already taking to see why Slampire got banned for life.

Back to celebrating International Meagan Day.

Isn’t she great? Truly, a natural garbage archaeologist with a gift for-

Meagan is now banned for life.

It’s okay, she still wasn’t going to win this month’s Appreciation Day, because we have a standing rule here at 1900HOTDOG: If you permanently mutilate your body for us, you win!

Congratulations Shamimator! You have permanently scarred your body for us, and for that you win this picture of Billy Corgan having a blast on his little train. You’re getting a hell of a deal.

You folks are, as always, the best. And if anyone ever questions that, you call us. We’ll trample them with our MANTAUR HOOVES. Which are feet.

You can read this article and every other one on the much better in every way 1900HOTDOG.COM