Would you rather be stuck in a tea shop or a coffee shop during a zombie apocalypse?
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I saved you from the zombies, but don’t think for a second that I did it because I like you. That’s ridiculous.
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Event: I saved you from zombies, totally not becaus...
2024-12-20 00:17:01 +0000 UTC View Post
What’s the ultimate baked good to confess your feelings with?
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Tell me, am I your only sworn enemy, or are you secretly seeing another baker? Because I don’t like competition.
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Event: It all started with a burnt bakery, a trolley full of apology pies, and...
2024-12-19 02:35:00 +0000 UTC View Post
What’s the ultimate baked good to confess your feelings with?
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Tell me, am I your only sworn enemy, or are you secretly seeing another baker? Because I don’t like competition.
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Event: It all started with a burnt bakery, a trolley full of apology pies, and...
2024-12-19 02:21:01 +0000 UTC View Post
How far would you go to win a snowball fight? Would a hospital visit be too far?
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I knocked you out with a snowball, and now we’re talking about love? What is happening?
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Event: Well, let’s see… I gave you a concussion (oops), wore heels (ugh), and...
2024-12-19 02:08:01 +0000 UTC View Post
How far would you go to win a snowball fight? Would a hospital visit be too far?
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I knocked you out with a snowball, and now we’re talking about love? What is happening?
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Event: Well, let’s see… I gave you a concussion (oops), wore...
2024-12-19 01:59:01 +0000 UTC View Post
If your life had a fan campaign, what would people be campaigning to bring back?
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You know, I missed more than just the show. I missed you... and all your ridiculous donut-stealing habits.
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Event: Me, my co-star, and a Christmas special that...
2024-12-19 01:48:01 +0000 UTC View Post
If your life had a fan campaign, what would people be campaigning to bring back?
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You know, I missed more than just the show. I missed you... and all your ridiculous donut-stealing habits.
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Event: Me, my co-star, and a Christmas special that...
2024-12-19 01:31:01 +0000 UTC View Post
What’s worse: being stuck in a blizzard or stuck with someone who loves Christmas too much?
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Santa’s kidnapped, and you think we can just ignore it? Oh no, we’re saving him, and then I’m getting my Christmas kiss.
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Event: Attempting to cheer up the wo...
2024-12-19 01:16:00 +0000 UTC View PostWhat’s worse: being stuck in a blizzard or stuck with someone who loves Christmas too much?
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Santa’s kidnapped, and you think we can just ignore it? Oh no, we’re saving him, and then I’m getting my Christmas kiss.
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Event: Attempting to cheer up the wo...
2024-12-19 01:07:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Would you go on a blind date if your sibling set it up, or are you sane?
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My brother thinks he’s funny, but tonight might just be the best thing he’s ever done
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Event: My brother decided to play Cupid, and now I’m stuck confessing something I’ve ...
2024-12-19 00:52:01 +0000 UTC View PostWould you go on a blind date if your sibling set it up, or are you sane?
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My brother thinks he’s funny, but tonight might just be the best thing he’s ever done
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Event: My brother decided to play Cupid, and now I’m stuck confessing something I’ve ...
2024-12-19 00:48:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Why do we call it “falling in love” when it feels more like being pushed off a cliff?
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Do you know what’s better than writing letters to Santa? Falling in love with someone who feels like Christmas every day.
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Event: I was feeling senti...
2024-12-19 00:37:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Why do we call it “falling in love” when it feels more like being pushed off a cliff?
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Do you know what’s better than writing letters to Santa? Falling in love with someone who feels like Christmas every day.
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Event: I was feeling senti...
2024-12-19 00:28:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Is snooping for presents a Christmas tradition, or am I just morally dubious?
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You’re sneaking around the house... but why? What could you possibly be looking for?
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Event: I catch you sneaking about like a terribly unconvincing ninja, claiming you’re “c...
2024-12-19 00:23:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Is snooping for presents a Christmas tradition, or am I just morally dubious?
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You’re sneaking around the house... but why? What could you possibly be looking for?
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Event: I catch you sneaking about like a terribly unconvincing ninja, claiming you’re “c...
2024-12-19 00:11:01 +0000 UTC View Post1. Printers fear me for good reason.
2. Oreos: just evil wrapped in packaging.
3. Mild corgi fixation (it’s healthy, I swear).
4. I bleed tea, cry tea, am tea.
5. Grumpiness is my default setting.
6. Walking hazard to myself.
7. Stereotypically English; inser...
2024-12-18 14:01:33 +0000 UTC View Post
Why is it socially unacceptable to eat someone’s chocolate but perfectly fine for them to steal your stapler?
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Alright, let’s just say this was not my finest moment. Sure, I ate all the chocolate, but in my defence, it was a really stressful morning! And yes, I br...
2024-12-16 14:34:01 +0000 UTC View PostWhy is it socially unacceptable to eat someone’s chocolate but perfectly fine for them to steal your stapler?
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Alright, let’s just say this was not my finest moment. Sure, I ate all the chocolate, but in my defence, it was a really stressful morning! And yes, I br...
2024-12-16 01:12:01 +0000 UTC View PostDearest Santa,
Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be, is it? A kill squad? Really? I must say, I expected better from you, Claus. Well, not better exactly, but at least something less predictable. A handful of your best elves armed to the teeth, marching into...
2024-12-15 02:23:01 +0000 UTC View PostAlso, this does not contain singing.
Not at all.
You cannot call this singing.
This is a cry for help...or caffeine .
2024-12-14 03:25:14 +0000 UTC View PostDearest Santa,
Well, well, well, if it isn't the festive fraud himself. Creeping about in the dead of night, breaking into homes, bribing children with cheap tat to cover your undoubtedly sordid tracks. Do they even know what’s on your list? I imagine it’s the kind of thin...
2024-12-14 02:20:40 +0000 UTC View Post
Three years of pining, one late-night walk, and a mountain of sarcasm to hide my nerves. Honestly, it’s a miracle I didn’t trip over my own words—and yet, here we are. Turns out, love confessions are messy, but at least now I’m your mess.
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Event: It...
2024-12-10 21:23:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Oh, you’re still playing the “good guy,” are you? Adorable. Let me know how that works out while you’re holding my hand and leaning closer under these Christmas lights.
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Event: I might have casually dismantled your moral code while convincing you that freedom l...
2024-12-10 21:18:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Why does every love confession feel like being wrapped in tinsel? Unnecessarily sparkly and a little suffocating.
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You’re the reason I hate Christmas, you know that? And now you’re the reason I don’t.
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Event: Just a regular day of hating Christmas. Exce...
2024-12-10 21:13:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Welcome back to the Bon Bon, darling. Let’s see if your knack for trouble still matches my tolerance for your nonsense—or if this time, you’ll finally pay the tab in blood.
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Event: You’ve returned to the Bon Bon, dragging your mess and guilt behind you. Lucky m...
2024-12-10 21:04:55 +0000 UTC View Post
Would you kindly ignore the singing at the start of the audio?
Welcome to Rapture, darling. It’s a city full of freedom—at the cost of your soul, of course. Don’t worry, I’ll be your guide... for a price, naturally.
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Event: I found you, wandering the Bon Bon l...
2024-12-10 21:02:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Why does love always feel like a DIY project with missing instructions?
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There’s something special about our first Christmas together, even if I’m making a complete mess of it.
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Event: I somehow managed to turn Christmas tree decorat...
2024-12-10 19:34:35 +0000 UTC View Post
Do you think clumsiness is endearing, or does it make you want to carry an emergency first aid kit?
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Turns out, saying ‘I can skate’ and actually being able to skate are wildly different things. But hey, what’s a little blood and humiliation compared to awkwardly confessing m...
2024-12-10 19:31:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Why does love always feel like a DIY project with missing instructions?
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There’s something special about our first Christmas together, even if I’m making a complete mess of it.
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Event: I somehow managed to turn Christmas tree decorat...
2024-12-10 19:29:12 +0000 UTC View PostDo you think clumsiness is endearing, or does it make you want to carry an emergency first aid kit?
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Turns out, saying ‘I can skate’ and actually being able to skate are wildly different things. But hey, what’s a little blood and humiliation compared to awkwardly confessing m...
2024-12-10 19:23:01 +0000 UTC View Post