Fix Me - Ch. 4 (Be The Father Of This Child! Side Story, Patreon Exclusive)

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Chapter Four – The Reasons Why

No one stood in his way as he left the house, and that hadn’t been a relief. Tom had hoped that he would still see Jett and tell him goodbye, but it had looked like his son didn’t want to see him at all.

He barely registered the landscape changing on the other side of the car window. The driver was a quiet person, and that was a blessing because Tom was in anything but a mood to do small talk. 

Was he losing his mind already? Why was he heading to Sid’s home right now? He didn’t dare to explore the reasons why. Whatever had happened between them, it had to be just a one-time thing. If they repeated it, they were bound to get in trouble.

But why? And in trouble from whom? Jett didn’t care. Tom could safely do whatever he wanted with whomever he wanted, and Jett wouldn’t give a rat’s ass. That didn’t mean that it was okay to fool around with April’s dad. All his life, Tom had struggled to do the right thing, and even if that had turned out badly more often than he cared to admit, that didn’t mean that he was ready to give up on it.

He would stay for a while at Sid’s, but only so that he could talk to another grownup and have a little break from everything. It was funny how his brain refused to admit that lie.

It was strangely transparent what the actual reason was for him to stay with Sid since the man had invited him. Tom closed his eyes and refused to think altogether. Maybe it was all in his head and nothing more. Sid had appeared attractive the other night because they had been drunk and also lacking sexual release. Now, that was no longer the case.

Tom swore off the booze for the time he would spend under Sid’s roof. That was one way of playing it safely; also, he would look at Sid with a critical eye. After all, the man was a pain in the behind if he thought a little. He was a know-it-all prick with a penchant for finishing other people’s sentences. Also, he was so arrogant that he believed he could play shrink to Tom for some reason.

Like he would allow that to happen. Sid was free to poke him as much as he wanted, but Tom had no intention to give in and let him get something from it. 

Why was he going again?

Telling the driver to turn around would be ridiculous, he thought to himself. No. After all, Sid was the only guy he knew around, and Tom could talk to him if only for the sake of not being all alone.

And yet, he knew precisely why he was going where he was going. Resisting the thought would prove difficult, without a doubt.

***

With critical eyes, Tom took in the front lawn that looked like it had been the victim of ten acid rains in a row. It wasn’t littered with garbage or anything, but it wasn’t exactly cared for, either. The house has a homey feel about it, from the outside, although Tom couldn’t put his finger on what made it feel that way. Maybe it was because of the bushes that almost overtook one side – those seemed to thrive, or the pleasant colors chosen for the façade, pale yellow tones that made it look at bit like a lemon cake with red icing. 

Tom hesitated in front of the door. Maybe Sid was home already, and he should knock. There was the tall dead stalk, he observed from the corner of one eye. He decided to knock, after all.

For a few moments, not a leaf stirred. The weather was calm for that time of the year, and that meant that people could still spend time outside and enjoy it. On his way to Sid’s house, Tom had noticed a few elderly couples taking advantage of the pleasant sun on their porches. It was a quiet neighborhood, but Tom couldn’t agree with Sid leaving a spare key in such a visible spot. Maybe he could do something to change such dangerous habits.

The door opened brusquely, and a disheveled Sid appeared in front of him. It looked like he had just stepped out of the shower, and Tom could smell the body wash on him. It was something fresh and citrusy, and he instantly liked it. 

“Hey, come in, come in,” Sid said cheerfully and gestured to for to enter. As Tom walked in, Sid snatched his suitcase from his hand. 

“It’s okay,” Tom said. “I can --”

“I’m the host, so shut up.”

Tom didn’t comment anymore. He followed Sid into the hallway after Sid closed the door after him. “So you just happen to have a spare room?” he asked, feeling awkward all of a sudden.

The interior was like the exterior. It had a homey feel, but a bit messy. Not in the sense that it was unclean or anything like that, but some things lay in disarray, such as a newspaper spread on the coffee table in the living room, and an old sweater thrown over the back of the sofa. 

It was nothing like the orderly layout Tom preferred wherever he went. But this was not his house, so he was supposed to live with the owner’s quirks. 

“A spare room?” Sid laughed. “I am a dad of two with no child home anymore. You can bet that I have plenty of space.”

“If you have a guest room, that’s okay. I wouldn’t want to take over one of your kids’ rooms.”

“Guest room, right,” Sid said with a snort.

Tom followed him past the living room into another long hallway. 

“Here.” Sid gestured for him to enter.

The bed was neatly made, but a stack of books was on one of the nightstands with a pair of glasses on top of them. 

“Is this your bedroom?”

“Oh, yeah,” Sid said as he put Tom’s suitcase down. “There’s plenty of room in the closet for your things. Feel free to unpack while I fix us a light dinner.”

“Sid.”

His stern tone made Sid stop from whatever he was doing. He was dressed casually in a pair of faded jeans and a white t-shirt. He looked absolutely delicious. 

“Am I going to sleep with you?”

Sid quirked an eyebrow. “Is that a double entendre I’m hearing?”

“No, that’s on you. You must have another room.”

“They are all messy. And musty. And you won’t like them. Yes, you’re going to sleep with me.”

Tom stood there, baffled. “I can’t do that.”

“Sure, you can. I stick to my side of the bed; don’t worry.”

“It’s really not the issue!” He didn’t want to explode, but Sid was getting the better of him.

“Fine, fine,” Sid grunted and grabbed his suitcase again. “It was worth a try, but if you want to take it slow --”

Tom cursed under his breath. Sid hauled the suitcase and Tom followed. From the back, Sid looked just as yummy as from the front. Tom found himself moving and grabbing him from behind. Sid dropped the suitcase, and he turned. 

He looked like he wanted to say something, like usual. But Tom clamped his mouth hard on his, to shut him up. It was a reason as good as any. Sid’s lips tasted of a minty toothpaste, and his skin smelled so good. 

He took his time to taste it, too. It felt liberating when it must have felt wrong. Playfully, he pulled at the bottom lip with his teeth. Sid killed the moment with a small chuckle. 

“I’ll take the guest room if you please,” Tom said promptly.

Sid rolled his eyes. “Buzz killer.”

“Are you the one to talk? You just ruined a perfect kiss.”

“Really? How did I do that?”

“You laughed.”

They were back in the hallway and soon in another room, one with a considerably smaller bed and a lot of decorations that made Tom frown.

“There is no guest room, so Melinda’s will have to do. April is quite territorial, and I don’t want to risk his wrath,” Sid explained.

The coverlet had a neutral color, thankfully, but the boy bands staring at him from all the walls made him groan. There was also a makeup table or whatever that was called. Tom groaned. “Are you sure you want me to be in your little girl’s room?”

Sid snorted. “Little girl, right. Melinda is too busy with her family to care about her old room. She hasn’t slept here in five years.”

“All these boy band posters are killing me. Are you sure April would be upset if I slept in his room?”

“I’m afraid you won’t escape the boy band curse there, either,” Sid said with his signature grin.

Yes, of course. That made perfect sense. Tom took in the surroundings once more. He couldn’t shake off the sensation that he was nothing but an intruder. But, for the moment, at least, he couldn’t even fathom imagining how it would be to sleep in the same bed as Sid. One look at the man and Tom knew that all the lies he had told himself on his way here were nothing but that.

Threadbare. That was what he felt from time to time. Worn out and left to dry. But not here. Inside Sid’s home, from the moment he had set foot in it, he felt calm energy all around him. It was soothing, but it also threatened to open him raw.

“Let’s have a bite,” Sid said, stopping his train of thought. “You can always get comfortable later. Now I’m dying to know what happened.”

“Aren’t you an old lady always in the mood for gossip?” Tom frowned, but he did it halfheartedly like he couldn’t even manage to feel pissed in that house. 

Sid laughed. His eyes crinkled at the corners as he did that, and Tom could feel a crooked smile creeping in, too. There was no wonder April was like a little ray of sunshine with a dad like that. How did other dads do it? Between Jett and him, there had always been storms and no fair weather.

Not always. There was a before and an after. But dwelling on every little thing that made him feel so carved out didn’t seem like a good idea.

And, in that house, it didn’t seem appropriate anyway. He followed Sid to the kitchen, and the smile from earlier stuck to his face like the kiss of an old lover as he listened to his host humming and preparing food.

Sid placed a plate in front of him with a big smile. “There’s a lot of green in here,” Tom noticed.

Sid shrugged as he brought his plate to the table, as well. “Green never killed anyone, Major Tom.”

“Don’t think I didn’t already hear all the jokes.”

“What jokes?” Sid wiggled his eyebrows. 

Of course, he knew what jokes. Tom just shook his head and dug in. “It’s actually tasty,” he said after the first bite.

“Don’t worry, Tom. I’m not a vegan. But until fresh veggies go out of season, I try to cook them as often as I can find them.”

“They never go out of season. Haven’t you heard? There are plenty in the frozen food aisle.”

Sid chuckled. “Are you trying to make jokes, Tom?”

“Why? Do you have exclusivity on that?”

“Far from me. I’m sure that, deep down, you’re a fun guy.”

“A fun guy, not a funny guy,” Tom noticed the difference right away.

“Yeah. A fun guy. I know it for sure.”

He could swear Sid had just thrown him a come-hither look, but it was gone as soon as it came, so maybe he just imagined things.

“Stop overthinking everything,” Sid said as if he could read his mind. “You know we’re heading there, anyway.”

Tom pretended to be busy with his food. His throat was getting dry again. It was a common occurrence around Sid, for some reason.

“I’m not ascetic, by the way. I have cold beers in the fridge, and we can watch whatever you want on TV.”

Tom perked up. Beer sounded cool. And it wasn’t strong like whiskey, so maybe it was okay if he had one or two. “I’ve never said you were ascetic.”

“You must have thought it. No sex in seven years,” Sid said as he ate with gusto. “What could you have thought of me? Maybe that I was rusty in bed. How was I, really?”

Tom coughed and swallowed the food in his mouth with some difficulty. 

“What, not a good topic of conversation over dinner? But it felt good to be wanted for a change,” Sid added as if he was talking mostly to himself. 

Being at war with one’s self was tough. Tom didn’t know whether he wanted to pretend he hadn’t heard that last bit or if he just needed to declare dinner over, grab Sid’s hand and take him to his bedroom so that he could show him that he was very much wanted still.

“For so long, I haven’t been someone’s lover. I’ve only been a dad, a nurse, someone’s neighbor. And I had no idea how much I missed it until yesterday.” Tom looked up. Sid smiled at him. “Don’t mind me. Enjoy your food. I tend to ramble a lot since my kids left. Only that my own self doesn’t make a good conversation partner.”

Tom knew a thing or two about that. “That’s okay,” he found himself saying. “I don’t like talking to myself much, either.”

“Good. So what happened?”

Tom quirked a questioning eyebrow.

“With Jett. What happened?”

“Ah, just the usual. Me and that boy, we don’t see anything eye to eye.”

“Hmm.”

“I bet that’s not something you know. Your April must think you’re the center of the universe.”

“That might change, though. I think your son is too much of a contender for me to keep the crown.”

“You really think they’re in love?”

“I don’t think. I know for sure.” A small hesitation followed, and Tom wondered about it, like before. What could that be about?

“Still, Jett’s situation is anything but simple. He needs to do right by his kid. I know he’s young, but mistakes have consequences,” Tom said, reenacting his argument with Jett.

“Ah. Your grandson is a mistake.”

“Don’t put it like this. You know what I mean. He and that girl should have known better. You would think kids today don’t leave home without a condom in their pocket.”

“No contraception method is one hundred percent sure, as you may well know it.”

“That’s the nurse talking?”

“You can say that. I don’t think they were irresponsible. Maybe it wasn’t a mistake, but a little miracle that happened.”

Of course. That was such a Sid thing to say, Tom thought. “Well, Jett still needs to think of his son’s future. And I know for a fact that he has always had dozens of girlfriends. Aren’t you afraid he would just leave April for some random girl at one point?”

“Ah, I don’t worry,” Sid said enigmatically. “There must be a reason why Jett couldn’t settle for a girl.”

“Yeah, sure there is. He’s a womanizer. God knows where he got that from.”

“Hmm. He must have gotten something from you.”

Tom clenched his fingers on the fork. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought of that, too. He just didn’t need to hear it coming from someone else’s mouth. “Not that,” he said curtly.

“He’s stubborn just as you are. Right now, you’re so afraid that you might not be right that your entire mind and soul clenches as tight as your hand on that fork,” Sid said. 

“You don’t know me.” Tom didn’t enjoy the idea of fighting with Sid, but it looked like his host had no self-preservation instinct.

“But I would love to. Spend these weeks of leave you still have with me, and let’s get to know each other.”

Like it was fucking summer camp, and they planned to become BFFs, as kids said. “How can you be,” Tom searched for the right word for a while, “so lightweight?”

“I eat sensibly,” Sid replied as he pointed at his plate.

“You know what I mean.”

“I know. And I will tell you. We have so much to tell each other.”

“How can you be so open with me? You don’t know me.”

“As I already said, I would like to know you.”

“Why?”

Sid stared at his plate. “Because I’ve never felt so good in years, and I want to know the reasons why.”

The reasons why. That was on his mind, too. “Sid, we were just drunk and --”

“And you kissed me just earlier. No, no more excuses. I want to know the real reasons why.”

Tom knew when to shut up. His throat was begging for that beer. It looked like Sid only offered plain water with food. Perhaps it was some health thing he only knew about. Maybe it was worth it to explore the reasons why together.

***

Sid was the real thing, Tom thought as he listened to his laugh and his funny comments about the movie they were watching. How they had ended up doing that, he had no idea, but mostly it had to be because he hadn’t protested when Sid had flipped through the channels and settled for a silly comedy that had to be at least one century old.

“You’re not watching,” Sid said with slight reproach.

Tom nodded. “I’m busy watching you.”

Sid stared back at him with hooded eyes. “Are you trying to seduce me, then? I’m afraid I’m easy and not too much work.”

Tom swallowed hard. What had happened with his resolution to keep things civil, aka no sex? But he couldn’t think of anything else, and it wasn’t even only physical. There was a strange sort of ache, nestled in the middle of his chest, demanding closeness with the man sitting at the other end of the sofa.

They had sat like that, with at least three feet between them, from the beginning. Sid hadn’t tried to come closer, and Tom had kept to his end of the sofa. Unconsciously or not, they feared to be too close. He knew that to be true about him, but Sid had seemed to have no qualms with that.

“You’re easy? A little farther, and you’d fall off the sofa.”

Sid laughed, but it wasn’t his easy laugh this time. “I don’t think I’m doing a good job of reading you. Just earlier, I came too strong at you. Like it would have been realistic that you would want to jump in bed the first second you got here.”

Tom swallowed once, twice. He drank from his beer, just because he wanted to avoid replying to that. Sid had smelled so good when he had opened the door, Tom wouldn’t have minded at all a bit of jumping in bed.

“I hurried home to take a shower because I didn’t want to put you off. Talking about getting one’s hopes high,” Sid added with a small, self-deprecating smile. 

Tom put his bottle down on the coffee table with a small thud. Then he turned toward Sid and stared at him some more. 

“What? You know, the reason why you’re hard to read is that you’re not talking. I’m just rambling here, feeling like a total idiot.”

Tom moved fast. Sid yelped as he was grabbed, and they both ended on the floor. The situation was a bit ridiculous, but right now, he couldn’t care about that. He needed to wipe that smile off Sid’s face. He had no business feeling like that, not when Tom wanted him with all his heart and body.

For a second, they both breathed hard as they stared into each other’s eyes. Tom took in the bluest of blue, maybe not as pretty in the artificial light in the living room as in bright daylight, but still hypnotic in their own right. Then, he looked down, at the straight nose, and the nicely drawn lips, and that moment, he knew that he couldn’t turn back if it killed him. 

He pressed his lips hard against Sid’s mouth, forcing it to open. No booze in the world could stave off his thirst. It wasn’t that kind of thirst; their tongues danced, and the faint laughter on TV seemed very far away.

Tom reveled in the kiss, the sounds they made only putting fire in his veins. Sid kissed him back, and his limbs were hard and squeezed as they wrapped around him. There was no more denying. That was why he had jumped into the cab and come here. That was the most crucial reason why.

“You smelled so good when you opened the door,” Tom murmured as they let go of their kisses so that they could breathe a little.

“It’s a new body wash,” Sid murmured back as he reached for another kiss. “You can borrow it.”

“Only if you’re going to use it on me,” Tom replied.

“Oh, right. Are you going to shower with me, then?”

“You can bet. But first, we need to have a reason, right?”

“I knew you had a sense of humor.”

Tom swallowed Sid’s laugh from his mouth, biting playfully. This time he didn’t stop even if Sid continued to laugh. Maybe they had a lot to laugh about, to talk about, to share. But it would come later because right now their erections rubbed against each other so forcefully that they were at risk at creaming their pants like teenagers.

It had to be done quickly, too, this time. Tom managed to free his cock and opened Sid’s fly with dexterity and speed he didn’t even know he possessed. Now at least they were humping each other for real. Later, they would do it in a bed; he was sure of it.

“Nice, this is nice, too,” Sid said as he gasped.

Tom covered his mouth and continued to move on top of him. There was almost just enough pressure, but his body wanted more. As if he could feel his predicament, Sid pushed his tongue inside his mouth and began moving it rhythmically.

That felt like fucking, the good kind, too. So, Tom moved, pressing down Sid and their cocks between them. 

“Oh, wow, this feels --” Sid said, and there was no more time for words because they came almost at the same time.

They remained on the floor, staring at the ceiling for a while. 

“You know, I didn’t really think this technique could bring a lot of satisfaction,” Sid interrupted the silence.

“Maybe only when the right circumstances are met,” Tom offered. He smiled, and he was overly conscious of it, but he couldn’t stop. Sid’s chatting nature was rubbing off on him.

“I suppose. Still, we got off, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, yeah,” Sid replied, and then he laughed.

Tom rolled to one side and looked at him. The beautiful blue eyes observed him. 

“You’re the only guy I get to experiment so much, you know,” he blurted out. 

“Good.”

“Good? That’s all you have to say?”

“Why? It’s not good?”

“That’s not what I – Ah, you’re just playing with me.”

Sid chuckled. “Yes, I am. How come I’ve never felt attracted to a man all these years, and suddenly I’m with you, and it feels so good? You can’t say that we’re drunk,” he warned. “We barely had some beer.”

Tom shook his head slowly. “Sometimes, maybe it’s just the person.”

Sid nodded. “It could be. It looks like I like you very much, Mr. Huntsman.”

“Mr. Huntsman? Why the formality?”

“I don’t know. It makes it more official.”

“Do you need extra confirmations that you like me, and I like you?”

“That’s not what I need. The real question here is: am I at a disadvantage? You’ve been with other men before.”

“No one like you.”

“That could be equally a bad thing or a good thing.”

“It’s both.”

“How so?”

“Let’s say that, in equal measures, I want to do you, but also strangle you a little.”

“Strangle me?” Sid mimicked surprise, but Tom knew better this time around.

“Not with any ill intent. You piss me off, but it feels good.”

“Oh, and that makes perfect sense.”

“Maybe it doesn’t, but attraction doesn’t play by the rules, right?”

“So, you’re attracted to me?”

“I can’t see any other reason why else I would be right now stretched on the floor in the living room of a stranger, with my cock hanging out and cum all over my shirt.”

It was then that Sid looked down, first at Tom, then at him. “It looks like I’ll have laundry to do.”

“And you can also use your new body wash on me. I think we both stink.”

Sid laughed, throwing his head back and exposing his throat. Tom couldn’t resist. He traced the shape of Sid’s neck and Adam’s apple with his index finger. The laughing stopped. “I know what Jett must have gotten from you. The ability to seduce people,” Sid said.

“I’m barely touching you. I doubt this counts as seduction.”

“No, not that. You’re looking at me like I’m the only person in the world for you right now.”

Tom didn’t deny it. Instead, he smiled, and his hand wrapped playfully around Sid’s throat. “Let’s shower before I give in to the temptation of strangling you a little.”

TBC

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