Yes indeed, just what i thought, took my cosy comfort blanket away along with my will...after ten months I wasn't expecting that! Well Sir it's a year since I became a patron, although it did take me three weeks to listen to a patron file, curiosity getting the better of me but very indifferent to all things naughty and finding myself on a journey of discovery I never expected to be on or last long. Spent most of the time in denial despite the obvious signs not able to admit anything to myself until recently and finally coming out of my comfort zone a bit more. I want to continue to learn but first i want to revisit around four files that stick in my mind because although different they all involved either being tied down pinned down or held down, I'm excited to find out if my mind will resist and wriggle out of the restraints this time around as I was quite resistant originally. I still don't trust my mind with resisting just yet. I wouldn't still be here learning all these new things without your guiding words within many wonderful files helping me gradually to find my way. Thank you Sir.
2019-05-12 01:16:50 +0000 UTC
Wow!
2019-05-11 18:53:36 +0000 UTC
It's around ten months since I first listened to this file, and nothing much had changed except that any arousal became secondary and in the background, I have a soft spot for this file and my mind is always on auto pilot as I listen to it most days, still ignoring the ending, became habitual over time, I seem to develop bad habits in some files, but I don't mind the punishment, I know it's not supposed to be but it's like my little comfort blanket when my mind misbehaves. Although I don't need an induction for this, I listened to Slave programming first...then i got a reminder that this was a punishment, and a very direct wake up call from the dominant hypnotist, I always flinch but the spanks felt harder in my mind and the choice to ignore any arousal was taken away, I could hardly count at the wmyd part. The grip on my neck this time, made me flinch, the control made me tremble, as you said what must you do ? I was pulled down so deep i was stripped of my will completely, to submit and feel what it is really like to surrender on an intense intimate level...I have to learn to let go of the constraints I put on myself, because I want to be able to obey/submit/surrender on my own and not get cold feet. Is this a coincidence or was something said in Slave programming I was unaware of...not that you will tell me either way. I learnt another lesson today... Sir will always have the upper hand. Stunned out of my mind today.😀
2019-05-11 16:30:30 +0000 UTC
You learn some surprising things about yourself this way.
2018-07-09 05:11:50 +0000 UTC
As you wouldn't elaborate as to why bending over would be a fun way to pay, I am presuming it has some to do with spanking or maybe not, so I'll start here. Interested also how a very physical punishment would be played out in a file. Somewhere in my mind there is a naughty little spark telling me I was going to like this one,I know I didn't have to persuade myself this time. I was pleased about that. From beginning to the end I actually flinched at every spank and although there was no physical pain it somehow felt real. That's as naughty as I've felt so far even with the arousal. I surprised myself with this one especially as I have listened to this more than once over the weekend. I seem to be making a habit of being putting in my place. Never mind.
