A Careful EmbrAce - Chapter 4

Izuku was sprawled out on his bed when the door thumped open, nearly losing his laptop from its precariously balanced spot on his stomach. He looked up in alarm to see Katsuki locking the door behind him, thumping down onto the mattress at his side.

"Needed to escape?" Izuku asked with a smile, dragging himself up to sit against the headboard – back where he'd started the night, before his slow decline along the mattress. "It's nice to see you!"

"Cheesy fuck," Katsuki grumbled, squeezing in closer and letting his head thump down onto Izuku's shoulder. "Don't say a word."

"It's okay," Izuku giggled. "You tired?"

"Yeah."

"Can I cuddle you? Or do you want me to just stay here?"

"You can."

"Would you like it if I did?"

"Maybe."

"Okay. Tell me if you want me to stop."

He snaked his arm around behind Katsuki's frame, resting heavy against his side, and smiled as he ran it up and down the curve of his spine. Katsuki sighed faintly, relaxing into him a little more, and Izuku could feel tears welling in his eyes over it all. He was so cute, so sweet, and he was willingly touching Izuku, letting Izuku touch him back?

Maybe he'd fallen asleep at his laptop and it was all a dream.

"Whatcha watching?" Katsuki mumbled, eyes firmly closed. "Or reading?"

"Oh, um, nothing really."

"Really?" Katsuki asked, his voice heavy with sleep and scathing with disbelief. "Out with it, nerd. You watching gross shit or something?"

"Gross shit? What do you- Oh, God, no! Kacchan!" His face burned red, and Katsuki cracked a smirk. "I would have locked the door!"

"But you still do it."

"Do which part? Like, watch stuff? Or... you know."

"Either. Both."

"I don't watch stuff, but I do... You know, touch. Still. Is that okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, whatever. As long as you don't expect me to do it."

"Of course not! You do whatever you're comfortable with, Kacchan! If that's just holding hands and cuddling, then great! We can cuddle all the time! And if you decide you want to try anything else, just say so and we'll work it out!"

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. So what're you lookin' at, if it's not... Ugh. Porn."

"Um, I was actually kind of... Researching."

"If you don't want to tell me, just say so, nerd."

"No, it's not that, it's just... I was reading posts from people with Ace partners?"

"Oh." Katsuki cracked an eye open, peering up at him. "Something wrong?"

"No! Not at all! I was just curious if there was anything more that I should be doing to make you feel comfortable and supported?"

Katsuki scoffed at him, but both eyes opened this time, and he shuffled to sit up against the headboard.

"Alright, you wanna talk about this shit? You have five minutes. What do you want to know?"

"Oh, um, okay! W-Well, let's see, um- So you don't feel sexual attraction, I get that, and that's cool! But, um, which kinds of attraction do you feel? Do you feel something for me that you don't feel for others?"

"Of course I do, shitty nerd," he frowned. "Why would I be here if I didn't?"

"Okay! So, um, how would you like- Classify it? Like, you just like me emotionally? Physically? I'm assuming it's not aesthetically but- Well, um... Is there maybe a romantic attraction in there somewhere?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"All of the above."

"Wha- I- You- Really?"

"Mm," he nodded, leaning his head on his hand. "You're cute, I guess? Whatever, shut up."

"That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"I said shut up," Katsuki scowled, cheeks burning. "Forget it, next question."

"No! No no no! I'm sorry, I won't tease!"

"Ugh."

"Please, Kacchan?"

"I like you," he grumbled, looking away to hide his blush. "I want to go on more dates with you."

"I'm glad," Izuku smiled, stroking his back again lightly.

"And... I liked holding your hand. And leaning on you. That kind of shit."

"So it's okay if I touch you?"

"Yeah? Isn't that what people do when they date?" Katsuki frowned slightly. "Don't go sticking your gross hand down my pants or some shit but it's not like you need to keep a meter away at all times."

"Okay!"

He responded by sliding his hand further, reaching around to Katsuki's ribs and pulling him in close. Katsuki rolled his eyes, but leaned in all the same, sharing in Izuku's warmth.

"You want to sleep?" Izuku asked fondly, resting his cheek on Katsuki's hair. "Is it your bedtime?"

"Mmm," he hummed, sighing faintly. "Everyone is in Shitty-Hair's room making noise."

"Oh."

"Keep trying to drag me in, won't leave me alone."

"Okay," Izuku giggled. "You can sleep here if you want?"

"Mm-hm."

Izuku shuffled over a little more, sitting against the wall to make room, and Katsuki slid down the bed beside him. With a little smile, Izuku untangled the bedsheets from underneath them both, tucking them up to Katsuki's shoulders.

"Do you want me to wake you when I go to bed, or can we sleep here together?"

"Don't care."

"Okay," he nodded, brushing blond hair back from Katsuki's eyes. "Goodnight, Kacchan."

"G'night."

Even with the overhead light on, and Izuku's laptop screen shining on them both, Katsuki dozed off in a heartbeat. One moment he was snuggling in, getting comfortable on Izuku's pillows, tucking his face into Izuku's thigh a little, and the next he was just out. Every muscle in his body went slack, his breaths coming long and slow, and when Izuku stroked his hair again he didn't even stir.

"You're cute," Izuku smiled, reassured that he was genuinely asleep when he still didnt move or complain. "Sweet dreams, Kacchan."

He turned back to his laptop, putting aside a thousand articles he'd been poring over. The general message from them all had been the same, anyway. Communicate.

Talk to your partner. Find out what they're okay with. Everyone is different.

Same rules that he always figured applied to non-ace relationships too.

What was that called, anyway? What was the opposite of Ace? He was hardly going to call it "Asexual and Normal".

He typed it into his search bar, and the word popped up quickly – he didn't even need to click a link, it was just right there at the top of the search results.

Allosexual.

So most people were in Allosexual relationships, and he was in... Well, he was an Allosexual dating an Asexual, he supposed. That one probably didn't have an entire term of its own. It was just... mixed.

The most interesting thing he'd come across was that some people actually had sex still – enjoyed sex, even. It was just physical pleasure rather than an attraction. He didn't mind going without, as long as it was for his Kacchan – he would do far worse things for his Kacchan than abstain. He had a hand, after all – but it was still interesting to know that one day it could be something Katsuki wanted to try. Could even be something that made Katsuki feel good.

He resolved to bring that one up another time, when he felt like Katsuki was in a lenient enough mood to be open about it. It was still so damn hard to make the guy open up and talk about anything that made him seem vulnerable in some way, shape or form. It was always hard scowls and yelling or breakdowns with tears and voice cracks, there was no in between.

"But we'll work on that," he said softly, smiling to himself as he stroked Katsuki's hair. "You'll learn, I know you will."

He switched his laptop off and set it aside, ready to snuggle in with his boyfriend – he still loved that word. Katsuki was such a stupidly good influence on his sleeping habits, it was impossible to sleep in late in the mornings when he knew Katsuki was up and about, in prime position for Izuku to spend time with him before school and other commitments took over. He was now learning that it was equally impossible to stay up late when the sweet face beside him was sound asleep, open and ready for cuddles.

Cuddles trumped staying up late, he had recently discovered.

He crawled down the bed, trying his best not to disturb Katsuki as he got up to switch off the lights and put his pyjamas on. He changed in a hurry, ready to scurry back into bed, but when he climbed back onto the end of the mattress he saw a hand move, rubbing at sleepy red eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," he whispered.

"Did I sleep long?"

"No," Izuku laughed, "I just wanted to join you."

"Mm, okay," he yawned, adjusting the pillows behind him as Izuku slipped under the blankets. "Sleep with me, Deku."

"Yeah, that's the plan," Izuku grinned, looping an arm around his waist and pulling him in close. "I want my cuddles. All night."

"Yeah," Katsuki nodded, yawning again as he dropped his head to Izuku's shoulder. "Goodnight kiss?"

Izuku froze for a moment, lost for words, but he managed a pathetic nod that he assumed Katsuki couldn't see anyway.

"Sure," he choked out. "Um, where?"

Katsuki lifted a hand, tapping at his soft cheek, and Izuku smiled as he leaned in. He planted a sweet little kiss on the smooth skin, and Katsuki's lips curled into a sleepy smile.

"Goodnight Kacchan, sweet dreams," he said softly, snuggling in comfortably. "Thanks for being with me."

"G'night, nerd."

─────

When Izuku woke up, Katsuki was still snuggled in his arms. His lower arm was numb, where Katsuki's head rested on it, and his neck was cramping where he'd been leaning into Katsuki's touch all night, leaving him with a mouth and nose full of fluffy blond hair, and yet...

It was the perfect way to wake up. He was so god damn gone for his old friend.

Katsuki groaned, rolling over out of his touch, eyes blinking open on a little pout aimed his way.

"What?" he grumbled, rubbing his eyes. "Don't look at me like that."

"Get back here," Izuku demanded, grabbing him by the shirt and dragging him back into his arms. "How dare you roll away from my cuddles."

Against all odds, Katsuki laughed.

"Needy fuck," he chuckled, allowing it all the same. "We should be getting up."

"We have an hour, Kacchan."

"An hour to run, shower, make and eat breakfast, and get to school."

"An hour to cuddle and snooze and be happy then run to school while eating breakfast."

"This is why you can't beat me."

"I'd rather cuddle you than beat you."

"Bullshit."

His arm curled slowly around Izuku's back despite his words, fingers tangling in the back of his shirt, and when their eyes met, Katsuki blushed bright pink.

"Don't look at me like that, you sap."

"I'm happy, Kacchan! I got to cuddle with you all night and you didn't, like, wake up and blast my face off for it."

"I gave you permission."

"Yeah but you were tired, I probably could have asked for anything at that point and you would have agreed."

"Mm... I was tired," he agreed. "But I still..."

"Wanted it?" Izuku teased. "You're allowed to say it, Kacchan."

"But it sounds so stupid," he whined, thumping his head on Izuku's shoulder to hide his face – or maybe to beat the softness out of himself, Izuku wasn't entirely sure. "I'm not supposed to want stuff like that."

"Why not? You don't have to be completely self-sufficient, Kacchan, you're allowed to want people!"

"But it's like... a gateway drug, like you said."

"To what?"

Katsuki fell silent, and Izuku laced his fingers through messy blond hair, holding him gently.

"It's not," he said softly. "We can do absolutely anything you want, Kacchan, and it doesn't need to lead anywhere. I don't expect it to lead anywhere. It doesn't... Invalidate you, okay?"

"Even just the word cuddling implies shit."

"What, to your thirsty teenage friends?" Izuku giggled. "Forget about them. You're allowed to want anything, and it doesn't change anything. If you decide that one day you want to try it, it still doesn't invalidate your feelings and... and your sexuality. Okay? You don't need to worry about that."

"I don't want to try it," Katsuki grumbled, thumping his head on Izuku's shoulder again – this time Izuku suspected it was in protest. "I never will."

"And that's totally fine! I'm just saying you're allowed to want things, okay? I'm not going to think 'oh I guess Kacchan isn't Ace anymore' just because you want to touch my ass or something."

Katsuki snorted, his hand drifting lower to squeeze roughly at one of the round cheeks.

"Nope, still Ace," he smirked. "Cute butt, though."

"Shut up," Izuku laughed, pulling his hair lightly. "Is there something you want to talk about, Kacchan?"

"No."

"Okay. Um, is there something we should talk about?"

This time, Katsuki paused, fingertips trailing under the edge of Izuku's shirt to stroke his warm skin.

"I'm attracted to you," he said finally, flattening his hand on the small of Izuku's back. "A lot. Just not..."

"Sexually, I know, and that's okay."

"I just... If I look at you or touch you, I don't want you to think something has changed."

"I've done a lot of forum-surfing," Izuku grinned, gently tilting Katsuki's head back to meet his eyes. "I don't know how it feels, obviously, but I understand, okay? I promise I'll never think you're implying anything. Whatever you want to do or try, you tell me straight out, and I won't assume anything unless you ask directly. Deal?"

"Deal," he nodded. "Kiss me again?"

"Whenever you want," Izuku grinned, planting a big kiss on his cheek. "Can I have one too?"

Katsuki nodded, turning his head a little and scooting up to reach, planting the tiniest of kisses on Izuku's jaw.

"Thank you," Izuku said softly, hugging him tighter. "It made me really happy, both last night and now."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You okay with it?"

"I like it," Katsuki admitted. "God I sound like such a loser, we shouldn't do this when I'm half asleep."

"But that's the only time you're honest with me," Izuku grinned, kissing his forehead this time. "I love the sweet little kisses, so any time you feel like it, you can do it. Or ask me for one."

"You as well," Katsuki pouted a little, looking away. "I don't want to ask."

"You want me to just do it?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. You have to tell me if you ever change your mind, though. If you want me to stop, or do it less, or just take a break for a day or whatever, I need to trust that you'll tell me that."

"Yeah."

"Promise?"

"Promise, nerd, now cut the sappy shit and get your ass out of bed, I'm starving."

"Okay," Izuku grinned, kissing his cheek one last time and getting one in return with no hesitation. "Let's go have breakfast."

"You're cooking."

"Okay, but I can't promise it'll be edible."

"I'll teach you."

"Even better."