I don't want anything [Threadvember]

This will be my first twitter thread from my Threadvember Ko-Fis, but not until after I've proofread it. Lol.

Thank you Amirah for your continued support!!
Prompt: "I don't want anything" ;)

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Katsuki suspected that he might have finally encountered the stupidest day of his life. He'd thought it would be the day he first asked Izuku on a date, until he'd accepted like the weird nerd he was – honestly, who the hell would willingly date Katsuki of all people? But no, the idiot had agreed, had smiled and giggled gleefully throughout their entire Sunday together, and had ended the night by asking him when the next one was.

After that, he'd thought it might be the day he proposed – that one had been a pretty big contender, when he'd gotten down on one knee and Izuku had laughed and cried and produced a ring of his own, waiting for the right moment for him to propose to Katsuki.

But even that had been blown out of the water by Izuku's latest ridiculous antics.

"I don't want anything!" he'd insisted, when Katsuki gave him that knowing look. "I just had... An idea?"

"Fuck your ideas."

"Kacchan, my magnificent husband, love of my life, lght of my world, my sun and my stars and-"

"Enough," Katsuki growled. "Just spit it out, you asshole. What do you want this time?"

"Iida and Uraraka went fishing and it was so cute and domestic and all the photos were so cute and coupley! Um, do you think we could maybe try it too? Fishing?"

"Ugh."

"Pleeeaaaase?"

Katsuki had reached up, grabbing a handful of green curls, and Izuku smiled knowingly when Katsuki gave him a shake. He always knew he'd gotten his way, when Katsuki moved from words to actual actions, it had always been his way.

"Fine," Katsuki conceded, and Izuku felt oddly triumphant that his interpretation had once again been correct. "Book it, you have my calendar."

"Okay!"

Somehow, that still hadn't been the stupidest day of his life.

No, the stupidest was when the day of Izuku's trip had arrived. Deciding that he wasn't so keen on the whole gutting and eyeballs thing, he'd chosen crab fishing for their date, which Katsuki was pretty sure just consisted of checking a bunch of traps over and over? But oh well, maybe a day away from the city, out by the ocean, would be enjoyable with his husband at his side. You know, his supposed favourite person in the world? He still doubted that on occasion, when he pulled these weird stunts.

They spent the day baiting traps with chicken legs and coming up blank, finding nothing awaiting them but some soggy chicken when they pulled the traps up to look. They took a few selfies by the water, and stopped for lunch at a cafe near the pier, but after about six hours they'd just about given up on the actual fishing part.

Until, that is, they'd pulled in their traps for the day and found a single tiny crab awaiting them, too small to be worth eating. Katsuki had been ready to throw it back in, until he saw the look on Izuku's face, already jutting his lower lip out with big, shiny eyes.

"What do you want?" he grumbled.

"I don't want anything!" Izuku insisted, for the second time that week. "But, well, now that you mention it..."

And that was how they'd ended up with a massive glass tank in their living room, a layer of sand in the bottom with a little pool of salt water in the corner, their new pal hanging out in his little enclosure.

"Why do I have to name him?" Katsuki demanded, as Izuku prodded him gently, waiting for him to come up with something. "You wanted to keep it!"

"Because it's bonding, Kacchan! If you name him, you'll feel closer to the little guy!"

"Ugh."

"Please, Kacchan?"

"Ugh."

Despite his complaints, he still stared at the little creature, contemplating it with narrowed eyes.

"Dinner in five years," he said finally, smirking as he anticipated Izuku's whines.

"Awww, Dify!" Izuku grinned instead, reaching in to stroke the hard shell, but darting back in a hurry when a claw aimed his way. "Dify is a feisty little guy, just like his Papa!"

"Shut up."

He bent down to look through the side of the tank, watching pincers snip at the sand as it dug itself a little hole.

"Idiot," he mumbled, regretting every life choice that had led him to owning a damn crab that they'd fished up. "You're gonna make a damn good soup in a few years, mark my words."

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"Oh hey, you must be Dify!" Eijirou grinned, bending down to wave through the glass. "It's nice to meet you, little dude! Hey, we kinda look alike, don't you think?"

"Stop talking to the crab," Katsuki grumbled, kicking him in the side and watching him almost topple over. "He can't understand you."

"But he's so cute!"

"You're as weird as the shitty nerd," Katsuki complained, reaching into the tank all the same. "Oi, c'mere Dinner."

He gripped the crab carefully by the sides of the shell and plucked him from the tank, offering him out. Eijirou's eyes widened, staring blankly, and Katsuki gestured again faintly.

"You wanna hold the asshole or not?"

"C-Can I?"

"Yeah, just keep your fingers in his armpits. If he decides he doesn't like you it'll hurt."

"Does he do that often?"

"Yeah, he's an asshole."

Eijirou carefully took over the grip, all the same, marvelling as he inspected the creature in awe. Katsuki had quickly learning that most people had never seen a crab up close, and he'd spent a number of hours holding the things for his parents and Izuku's to see.

Katsuki had assumed the crab was unhappy, at first – they'd plucked it from its home, after all. He'd just been too much of a damn sap to say no to Izuku's puppy eyes. As it turned out though, the thing had actually gotten kind of attached to them. And not in the literal way, though he'd certainly dealt with literal attachment too.

But now, when they got home from work, the little thing scuttled up to the glass to see them, and Izuku frequently liked to get him out of the tank to play on the floor together. Katsuki wasn't sure how to explain it, but he was pretty sure the pair had bonded somehow, as weird as it seemed to say it.

"Aww, look at you, Dify! You made a new friend!" Izuku cooed, when he found Eijirou holding the little shell. "He likes you!"

"He does?" Eijirou asked, torn between scepticism and excitement. "He's actually kinda cute!"

"You two match," Izuku giggled. "You're both red with hard shells!"

"Hey yeah! You should have named him Crabjirou."

"No," Katsuki said flatly, as he finished cleaning out the tank and replacing the water. "No way in hell."

"Sorry," Izuku laughed again. "I got Kacchan to pick his name, so that wasn't gonna happen."

"And he chose Dify? Why?"

"It's short for Dinner In Five Years."

"Oh God," Eijirou groaned. "Come on, Blasty, really?"

"It's fine," Katsuki shrugged. "They don't live for five years."

"What?! That doesn't make it better!"

The crab began to squirm when Katsuki pulled out a container of food, and Eijirou carefully deposited it back into the tank. It scuttled straight to the corner where Katsuki always placed the bowl, waiting impatiently with clacking claws for him to set it down.

The moment Katsuki's hand left the tank, Dify dug in, and with a last little chuckle Eijirou stepped back.

"I'd better get going, thanks for letting me come meet him!"

"Thanks for coming!" Izuku grinned, hugging Eijirou briefly as they walked to the door. "I know he's all I've been talking about for weeks!"

"Yeah dude, but it's awesome! He's such a cool little pet!"

"I think so too!"

They chattered all the way out to Eijirou's car, even continuing through the driver's-side window for a few minutes, until Izuku's stomach growled and he smiled sheepishly, Eijirou laughing at him brightly and bidding his final farewell.

As he drove away, Izuku sidled up to Katsuki's side, and Katsuki rolled his eyes when he saw the cute little pitiful look on his face.

"What do you want this time?"

"I don't want anything!" Izuku insisted, grinning. "But a hug would be nice."

"Alright, nerd, that one I can do."