I won't let it go - Chapter Two

This is a chapter two for this fic which was commissioned by goddessoftheworld!

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Katsuki wasn't sure when his fingers had ended up tangled in green curls. He didn't even notice until he heard a little snore and lifted his head to find the nerd sound asleep.

He'd felt weird ever since they returned to their own time, as if he were missing something or something was broken inside him, but he couldn't figure out what it was. His friends and classmates all acted as if nothing had changed, like nothing was any different, but Katsuki felt like he was a world away.

He hoped it would go away with a good night of sleep, but it had still been early in the day when they returned. Their classmates were all away in their lessons, and part of Katsuki felt like he should go join them despite Aizawa's dismissal for the day, but even with his stubborn determination to be the best, to never fall behind ever again after his license drama and house arrest, he still couldn't bring himself to throw on his uniform and step out that door. Instead, he'd stood awkwardly next to Izuku in the elevator, wondering why he felt reluctant to step away and be alone.

"Come watch a movie with me," he'd blurted out, when the elevator stopped at his floor.

"Okay!"

For once he was grateful for Izuku's enthusiasm, for the way he would agree so easily to things without questioning why Katsuki had asked it in the first place.

He'd been close to dozing off himself, as they lay back on his bed with a laptop between them, but that same weird, damp part of his brain had refused, had told him it was imperative that he stay awake. There was something left inside him, after all. Some shard of a memory or a feeling that he couldn't quite place, and he didn't want to risk letting it go.

"Dumb nerd," he whispered as Izuku smiled in his sleep, slumbering against Katsuki's shoulder. "I wonder if you're dreaming about it."

A sick, twisted part of his brain told him that maybe one of them hadn't been around in the future. He wasn't sure how far they'd travelled, after all. Either of them, or even both of them, could have been long dead in the time they visited. Maybe they'd both been killed in some tragic accident on the job, saving millions of people in the process, the remnants of their lives preserved through museum exhibits and a stone tablet, polished by old friends and family at the heads of their graves.

So he didn't know when or why his hand had ended up in Izuku's hair, but he did know that he didn't feel an urge to move it. In fact, he shifted his grip a little, petting his snoozing friend and watching him cuddle in a little tighter.

He leaned in, pressing his lips to Izuku's hair in a moment of weakness, surprised by just how right it felt. Maybe he needed to think more about this nonsense after all. Why did he want to touch the guy? Why did he feel urges to hold onto him or kiss him? And more importantly, why did none of it feel new?

Green eyes fluttered open, and Katsuki pulled back in his embarrassment, cheeks burning bright red as the freckled face tilted to look at him.

"Sorry," he smiled softly, so warm and content. "I was just super comfy."

"I-It's fine," he huffed, reluctantly tearing his hand away. "I'm tired too."

"I'll leave so you can sleep!"

"Don't," he objected sharply, the blush spreading to his ears and making him feel sweaty. "I-I mean-"

"I get it," Izuku said quietly, ducking his gaze. "Something just doesn't quite feel right, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah," Katsuki admitted. "I wish I knew what we saw, what happened to us. I don't even know how far we went. Did I meet my kids? Grandkids? Was I even..."

"Alive?" Izuku finished for him. "Don't worry, I was thinking it too."

"All I know is-" Katsuki choked on his words, gritting his teeth as he prepared to try again. "I don't want you to leave."

"I'm right here, Kacchan!" Izuku smiled brightly, tearing up a little though he tried his best not to show it. "Um, do you want to take a nap together?"

"Yeah," he admitted. "I do."

"Okay!"

He set his laptop aside and untangled the sheets from beneath them, pulling them up over their laps while Izuku adjusted pillows. It was a little bit of a tight fit between the two of them on the mattress, but in that moment Katsuki didn't mind having him so close. He'd never admit it, but Izuku seemed to calm the anxiety inside him a little, bringing it down to that weird damp feeling instead of drowning him in his thoughts.

"If I ask a question will you promise not to blow me up?" Izuku mumbled, as they snuggled down into the blankets. "You can say no, but please don't fight, I'm too tired."

"Fine. I promise, I guess."

"Can I have another kiss?"

Katsuki's blush flooded back all over again, and Izuku hid his smile under the sheets, watching Katsuki flounder for words.

"Please?" he added in a whisper. "It made me happy, Kacchan."

"F-Fucking fine," he hissed, averting his eyes. "Um, just- f-fucking close your eyes or some shit."

"Okay!"

Izuku shut his eyes obediently, waiting in the darkness with a smile, and after a long pause he felt Katsuki lean in, pressing his lips to Izuku's forehead this time.

"Go to sleep, dumb nerd."

"Thanks Kacchan," he smiled, not daring to open his eyes yet. "Um, can- can I give you a kiss too?"

"Fine," Katsuki huffed. "Make it quick."

Izuku knew better than to think Katsuki was really begrudging it, he had no qualms about saying a flat out no when he wanted to. He would never say that he wanted it, though. Katsuki was allowed to have his little idiosyncrasies, allowed to struggle to say yes when he wanted affection.

With as much love and sweetness as he could possibly convey, Izuku leaned in, pressing his lips to Katsuki's cheek. He could feel the warmth of the blush beneath his lips, and it made him smile fondly as they parted, eyes meeting for the first time in a while.

"Sweet dreams, Kacchan," he said fondly, wrapping an arm around his pillow to snuggle in. "Thanks for letting me stay."

"Whatever," Katsuki grumbled, curling himself into a little ball. "G'night."

Even though they didn't touch, didn't try to snuggle together in a cuddling mess, even though there were still inches between their bodies, they could still feel each other's warmth. For Katsuki, it was a strange source of comfort. He was a man who loved his warmth at the best of times, so feeling it radiate from a source so close made him feel extra comfortable in his soft bed and heavy layers of blankets.

So when he woke up hours later to his bedroom door slamming open, he wasn't surprised to find himself wrapped around that human furnace, as if he could steal every degree of that heat from the freckled body.

Yells in the doorway quickly fell silent when he sat up, glaring at the interlopers as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"S-Shit," Eijirou mumbled, "sorry man, we didn't know you were slee-"

His voice went away in a heartbeat when Izuku rolled over to investigate, hair extra fluffy and tangled from his pillow, ordinarily wide eyes hanging heavy with sleep.

"M-Midoriya?" Eijirou asked blankly. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry."

"It's finally happening!" Denki yelled, throwing his hands in the air. "Hallelujah! It's about time!"

He ran off before they could object, and Katsuki growled when the other began to back away, shaking his head.

"We travelled through time, shit heads. Just... Wasn't the time to be alone."

"It's okay!" Ashido said quickly, ushering the boys out. "We totally understand, Blasty! Sometimes you just need a good friend and a hug!"

"We weren't hugging," he objected. "I was fuckin' asleep and you expect me not to gravitate toward the warmest thing in the bed? Fuck off."

"It's okay!" she said again, grinning to herself. "We were all really happy to hear you were back safely! When you're ready, we have dinner and cake downstairs! We want to hear all about it!"

Katsuki was ready to argue, the words already waiting on his lips, but when Izuku's stomach growled loudly from beside him, he sighed instead.

"Fine," he said faintly. "We'll be down soon."

Thankfully they closed the door behind them, and Katsuki sighed as he rolled out of bed, rubbing his eyes again as he fished around on the floor for his jeans. Izuku crawled over him to get up, stretching lightly, and Katsuki watched as he sniffed himself briefly.

"Grab a shirt from my wardrobe," he instructed, when Izuku pulled a face. "It's fine."

"Thanks Kacchan. Do you have any All Might merch here or is it all hidden back at home?"

"Fuck off."

Izuku giggled, stripping his shirt off and heading for the wardrobe to look. He snatched a can of deodorant from Katsuki's shelf, too, giving himself a quick spray before he adopted a plain black t-shirt – not sleeveless to show off thick arms, not patterned with skulls and rude words, just a plain, soft, black material. He was surprised Katsuki even owned it, to be honest.

"What do we tell them?" he asked, glancing back as Katsuki changed too. "Just that we don't remember any of it? They're gonna ask why we wanted to be close."

"I don't know."

"What, um... What do you feel?"

Katsuki almost objected, but the look of genuine care of Izuku's face made him halt. He was so used to thinking that his offers of help were condescending or patronising, but he was slowly beginning to train himself to recognise the nerd's weird method of thinking.

"I don't know," he said again, a little quieter. "Empty?"

"Yeah," Izuku whispered. "That's... That's pretty accurate."

"We saw something important," Katsuki continued, sitting back down on the edge of the mattress, a little surprised when Izuku joined him. "But we can't remember what it was, and I hate that."

"I think maybe I know," Izuku said awkwardly, peeking up at Katsuki's stunned face. "There's something I should tell you, I'm sorry, I should have been honest from the beginning."

"What, nerd?" he asked, jaw clenched to keep his irritation at bay. "You know I hate lies."

"It's not that I lied," Izuku objected. "I just didn't tell you, because... Because you're gonna hate me when I do."

"Don't make those decisions for me," he huffed. "You think I'm gonna hate you less for keeping it from me?"

"No! But... But we were doing so well for a while, and I just... I didn't want to risk losing that. It was selfish, I know, and I'm sorry for that."

"Just hurry up and tell me."

"I like you, Kacchan."

Katsuki frowned, and Izuku blushed bright red.

"You know, like, I like-like you?"

"Oh."

"Yeah. Um, I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Katsuki shook his head, rubbing his hands together awkwardly. "I mean, I guess that's a compliment."

"Yeah! Kacchan is amazing!"

"You think I'm hot?" he teased, smirking as he leaned over to shove Izuku with his shoulder. "Bet you stare at me all the time when I'm not looking."

"Don't be mean!"

"You don't think I'm hot? Why would you like me if I wasn't hot?"

"Of course I do!" Izuku whined. "But I like Kacchan, it's not about being hot!"

"You're such a nerd," Katsuki smirked, wrapping an arm around his neck to ruffle his hair roughly. "So what, you think we were married in the future? Think we had babies together?"

"No!" Izuku blushed, attempting to squirm away but failing miserably. "I just think maybe I'd told you, by then. I don't know if you were okay with it or if we didn't talk anymore or... I don't know. I just think you knew, that's what I feel."

"I wouldn't hate you," Katsuki objected. "Like I said, it's a compliment, even if it's coming from a big dumb nerd like you."

"You don't hate me?"

"I just said that, asshole."

"Thank you Kacchan."

"Whatever."

He finally released Izuku from his torture grip, hesitating, and for a moment the room was awkwardly silent.

"Let me think, okay?" he said softly, pulling a face at how weird it sounded in his voice. "Just... Give me some time."

"For what?" Izuku frowned. "You might not want to hang out anymore?"

"Not like that," Katsuki shook his head. "Forget it. We're good, okay? We're normal."

"Okay! We should probably go downstairs then, they're waiting for us."

With a short nod, Katsuki led the way, thumping down the stairs toward the mass of noise in the common areas. The entire class had gathered in the living room, and Izuku teared up when he saw all his friends waiting, snacks and drinks laid out across the coffee table. The moment they arrived, people scrambled to move, and the tears burst from Izuku's face when they produced a massive cake with pretty white frosting.

"You guuuuuys," he sobbed. "You're all so sweeeeet!"

Katsuki didn't realise he'd reached out until he saw eyes turning his way, looking over to find his traitor hand sitting on the small of Izuku's back. He retracted it quickly, letting Ochako and Tsuyu take over for hugs and emotional bullshit, while Katsuki stepped back to watch from a safe distance.

"You feeling okay, bro?" Eijirou asked quietly, clapping him on the shoulder. "We were worried about you guys. You just disappeared out of the blue."

"I don't really remember it," he admitted, before anyone could ask. "Like I have some weird... Emotions?"

"You know what those are?" Denki piped up. "Wow!"

"Shut up, Pikachu. I don't know, I feel things from it but yeah I don't know what I did or saw. It's... really weird, honestly. I kind of hate it."

"Aww, bro!" Eijirou pouted, throwing an arm around him. "Do you wanna talk about these feelings? I know they must be a new experience for you."

"Fuck you all, last time I open up to your sorry ass about anything."

"I'm sorry! It was just a joke!"

"Fuck you."

Despite his pout, when Ashido offered him a slice of cake he still accepted, flopping down on a couch to shove it in his mouth. He wasn't a big fiend for sweet things, but every once in a while it was nice to down some cake or a muffin, and today was one of those days.

He knew his friends had opened their big mouths when they nudged Izuku over to sit next to him, and Katsuki rolled his eyes, taking another mouthful of cake.

"So," Ochako prompted, grinning as she leaned on the arm of the couch. "You guys gonna tell us?"

"About the future?" Izuku asked, tilting his head slightly in his confusion. "We don't remember anything, didn't I tell you that?"

"Not that, silly!"

"What, then?"

"Dude, we walked in on you two napping together," Denki pointed out. "Are you really gonna play this game?"

"It was just a nap," Katsuki said sternly, levelling him with a glare. "We've known each other since we were toddlers, it's not the first time we've taken a nap together. Don't be an asshole."

"So you're not dating?" Ochako pouted. "What about that little touch earlier when you were crying?"

"Fuck off," Katsuki growled. "You hug the nerd constantly but I can't even touch him?"

"Of course you can! You just don't."

"I do whatever the fuck I want, stop being a judgemental ass-hat."

He grabbed Izuku by the hair, dragging him closer, and despite a little whine and a blush, Izuku leaned on him obediently. Katsuki continued eating his cake as if it were no big deal, the warm weight leaning on his side. He hated to admit it, but it was kind of nice. Izuku was always warm and soft, like a heavy blanket, and Katsuki had never really noticed how much he lacked physical contact until it came back to him.

With Izuku leaning on him, he felt a little less empty. Less like he was drowning in thoughts and feelings he couldn't quite grasp. That one shard of emotion he'd caught on its way out seemed to fit perfectly into the puzzle that was Izuku.

That thought scared him.

The nerd liked him. He'd never even considered that idea in the past, but somehow, the words hadn't surprised him. Maybe it just made sense, maybe he'd known on some level, or maybe...

Maybe he'd been told before.

He looked up when he heard idiots cooing, realising too late that his hand was gently brushing green curls back from a flushed forehead. Izuku held dead still, afraid to disturb Katsuki's sudden affections, but his asshole friends were more than happy to tease.

He accepted when Ashido offered him a plate of food, elected to trust her knowledge of his tastes, and sat back comfortably to stuff his face. He didn't realise how long it had been since he'd eaten until the food was going down, his stomach demanding more.

"Does eating in the future affect us now, you think?" Katsuki murmured through his mouthful. "Did we just not eat while we were gone or does it not count?"

"Either way I'm starving."

Izuku chattered away with their classmates as he ate, but Katsuki just sank comfortably into his seat, Izuku's warm body half on top of his, stuffing his face with the half-decent concoctions they'd whipped up from the supermarket deli section, or maybe a convenience store. Not that he was going to complain about that, it was far more edible than what half his classmates would have produced, so he was satisfied.

When his stomach was comfortably full, he levered himself out from underneath, getting a little pout from Izuku in the process, but he didn't dare to voice his complaints.

"Thanks for the food," he spoke up, a dozen surprised eyes darting his way. "I'm gonna get some sleep."

In a moment of weakness, he ruffled Izuku's hair again, watching the lower lip jut out even further.

"See you tomorrow," he said firmly, hoping Izuku understood the point – they knew each other inside and out, right? Surely he had to understand from the tone and the eyes, even if the words weren't perfect. "G'night."

"Goodnight, Kacchan!" Izuku smiled brightly, touching the hand for a moment before it retracted. "Sweet dreams!"

Considering how tired he was, it took a surprisingly long time for him to fall asleep. He just kept staring at the ceiling, contemplating, searching for any hint of a future memory and attempting to decipher his own stupid emotions in the process.

But by the time he woke up, his alarm ringing beside his ear, he finally had an answer.

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Katsuki could feel the eyes burning into the back of his head all day. Every time he turned his head or moved a hand, he could feel those shiny green eyes dart to him, watching his every move.

It should have felt uncomfortable – most days it would have. On any other day of the year, he would have turned around and glared at the nerd, told him to keep his shitty eyes to himself and stop staring at him all the time.

But that day... It was weirdly comforting, in a stupid kind of way. He found himself moving more often, feeling the gaze move with him, even occasionally tipping his chair back to rest against the desk behind, to get him a little closer. Izuku's warm hand brushed against his back, and he tilted his head a little, letting the fingers trail up to the back of his neck.

He didn't realise what he'd done until he heard the little giggles, eyes darting over to see Tsuyu and Mina whispering together, watching them out the corner of their eyes. Blushing, he tipped his seat back upright, ducking his head over his textbooks to hide it.

When the bell rang for the day to end, he knew he was in for teasing. He didn't bother packing his things up nicely, just swept everything on the desk into his bag, forced the zip closed, and slung it over his shoulder too escape.

Izuku was less lucky, cornered by the girls before he even got out of his seat, whining as they leaned in close to whisper like it was some big conspiracy.

"I knew you were dating!" Ochako declared triumphantly. "I never expected anything about Bakugou to be cute but you two are adorable."

"We're not dating," he grumbled, hiding his flushed face in his hands. "Things have just been weird since we got back, and I don't know why, but I can help him. Even if it's just for now, I want to be close to him, I want to help him feel better."

"You're so cute," Mina grinned, slinging an arm around his shoulders. "I've never seen Blasty so affectionate, I love it."

"Please don't torment him, he just needs a friend right now! I've known him as long as I've known myself, it makes sense for him to come to me if he's feeling... Vulnerable. Tease me all you want, but let him have this one, okay?"

"Ever the hero," Tsuyu smiled warmly. "I think it's very sweet that you understand him so well!"

"He understands me, too," Izuku mumbled, eyes flicking away. "Maybe sometimes he doesn't do anything about it, but he always knows. And besides..."

"You like him?" Ochako prompted, giggling when he whined. "We know, Deku! It's okay!"

"Of course I like him, he's perfect," Izuku complained.

"Perfect?" Mina prompted, squeezing him a little tighter. "You're so blinded by love!"

"What? No!" he objected. "He is! He's attractive, and talented, and intelligent, and... and..."

"And kind of an ass?" Mina filled in.

"He's not! He's just honest, and direct, and... And maybe a little blunt but he's certainly not an ass!"

"Blinded by love," Ochako giggled. "Ashido is right!"

"You guys are mean," he pouted. "I'm going home."

"Aww, you don't want to stay and hang out a little longer? Don't want to tell us all about your newfound love life and all these beautiful new feelings?"

Izuku tucked away the last of his books, and thankfully Tsuyu stepped aside for him to get up, smiling as he slid past.

"Sorry, are we keeping you from a date?" Ochako teased, stepping aside and waving him through with a flourish. "Don't let us stop you! Wouldn't want to keep your perfect prince waiting!"

"King," Mina corrected. "He didn't call himself Prince Explosion Murder, after all."

"I hate all of you," Izuku pouted, pulling his bag on to escape, wishing he'd been as quick to do so as Katsuki had been. "I need a nap, I'm still exhausted from travelling through time. Can I go back to my room now?"

"Go ahead, hun," Mina grinned. "Blasty might be due for a nap too, maybe you can keep him company?"

"Maybe I will," Izuku pouted. "Maybe I'll go give him lots of cuddles and hope that it makes him feel better. How many times would we have to snuggle before you stopped teasing?"

"Oh sweetie, we'll never stop teasing. But go enjoy your cuddles!"

"I'm just gonna go take a nap!"

"Of course you are. Say hi to Blasty for us!"

Izuku sighed, finally giving up – he'd tried every tactic with no result, so he may as well just cut his losses and go back to his room. He was more than ready to just change out of his uniform and relax for the night. There was no homework to get done for the next morning, no internship to run to and get some work done, no plans with friends or family he was obligated to attend, just a solid night of chilling in his room with a book or a movie, recharging for the next day.

What he didn't expect, after all the teasing and blushing, was to find Katsuki at his door. He waited patiently, his expression surprisingly open and passive compared to his usual scowls, and while he glanced up as Izuku came nearer he didn't complain about him taking so long or ask where the hell he'd been. In fact, he nodded faintly at the bright smile flashed his way, and awkwardly produced a little bunch of fabric flowers from his school bag.

"For you," he said needlessly, handing over the pretty red and orange blooms. "You don't have to water them."

"You don't trust me to water flowers?" Izuku giggled.

"You don't even drink enough water yourself," Katsuki pointed out. "Whatever. These ones won't die on you."

"Thank you Kacchan, they're very pretty. And you're super cute for getting me a gift."

"I've been thinking about it," Katsuki continued, Izuku's smile wavering a bit. "And I won't lie and say I had some moment of clarity or whatever, emotions are stupid and I dunno how I'm meant to figure out what they mean, but... I know what I want, you know?"

"What do you want, Kacchan?"

"This." He waved between them a couple of times, looking away with his ears tinted pink. "The touches and shit, the hanging out, the... The leaning on each other and taking naps together or whatever. I like it, I want it."

"That makes me really happy, Kacchan! I like spending time with you, too!"

"What I mean is," Katsuki growled quietly, cursing under his breath. "Ugh. Just... Go on a date with me, alright?"

"What?"

"You like me, don't you? So... Show me what that sappy dating stuff is meant to be about. I like the stupid kisses, I want to kiss your dumb face, and I don't want that to be weird. Which it is if we're not dating. So... That's what I want, even if... If I'm not sure what I feel."

He looked up to find Izuku blubbering, his smile wobbly but still a smile, drowning in his streams of tears.

"Yes please!" he spluttered, when Katsuki raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm so happy, Kacchan. I'd love to go on a date with you!"

"Cool," Katsuki said flatly, fiddling with the strap on his bag awkwardly. "Do you wanna go for a walk, then? Get some food?"

"Now?"

"If you're not busy."

"I'd love to!" Izuku nodded eagerly, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. "Just let me change out of my uniform!"

"Me too," Katsuki nodded. "I'll meet you downstairs in five."

"I'll be there!"

He watched Katsuki walk away before he stepped inside, quickly tossing his backpack aside and making an attempt at cleaning himself up. Sure enough, by the time he made it downstairs Katsuki was waiting for him, perfect as always in his form-fitting shirt and baggy jeans.

"I'm ready! Where do you want to eat?" Izuku asked brightly. "Anything in particular?"

"Was kinda thinking sushi," he mumbled, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Dunno why, whatever is fine."

"Sushi sounds really good!" Izuku agreed. "Do you still do the hot sauce thing?"

"Yeah, obviously. Tastes the best that way."

They chattered away like it was no big deal as they walked down the street, even when their hands linked, their fingers twining together like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"What do you want?" Katsuki asked, as they eyed up the menu board. "I'm buying, pick whatever sounds good."

Izuku hummed as he considered, eyes raking up and down the board before they froze on something he'd never tried before, something he'd never even considered but somehow sounded so good.

"I think I'll try the crab."