My Father's Son - Chapter 40

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“Why are you mad at me?”

Katsuki almost dropped his fork, looking up in a hurry to glare at Izuku's pitiful expression across the table.

“Haah? Who the hell said that?” he demanded, stabbing his chicken a little more violently than necessary. “And why the hell would you ask me now?”

“Because you won't tell me if you're worried the boys might be listening,” Izuku answered calmly, gesturing toward the room of happy adults enjoying their own conversations, paying no mind to the pair. “Plus you won't yell at me too much in public.”

“Fuck off,” Katsuki growled, shoving a bite of chicken and pasta in his mouth. “Who says I'm mad?”

“You're not subtle, Katsuki. I just want to know what I did wrong, so I can fix it. Or at least avoid it next time. Can't you give me that one courtesy?”

“I told you I'm not fucking mad.”

“You are.”

“I am now because you're accusing me of shit!”

“Then why have you been acting so weird to me?!”

Katsuki fell silent, far from the reaction Izuku had expected, and for a moment they just sat there, waiting for the other to make a move.

“I'm busy,” Katsuki said finally. “At work and shit, you know that.”

“I do know. But you're busy a lot and you're not normally like this.”

“Because you don't normally pity me so damn much for it.”

“Pity?” Izuku asked, his tone infuriatingly sincere. “Who's pitying you?”

“You keep looking down on me. It's annoying, alright?!”

“Katsuki, you're literally living out my dream. I'm the quirkless loser here, why would I pity you?”

Katsuki hated himself for believing the words, but when he sneaked a glimpse of Izuku's face, the genuine hurt in his eyes, he was forced to admit – to himself, and no one else – that maybe he'd misjudged.

“Then why are you treating me so fuckin' weirdly, huh? You're out here saying I'm being weird when you're the fuckin' weirdest of us all.”

“Because you're busy,” Izuku answered, with zero hesitation. “You said it thirty seconds ago! I just want to do something to not feel like such a burden when you're so stressed out from work, but you won't let me in.”

“Because I don't need your pity!”

“Help is not the same thing as pity! You're a hero, you should know that!”

Katsuki froze, staring across the table at the sudden fire in Izuku's eyes. He didn't see that sight very often, so used to watching him give in, and something about it made his stomach churn.

“What do you want me to do, huh?” Katsuki asked, a little proud of himself for how calmly it came out. “Stop spending time with the boys? Stop going to work and let this stupid villain league get away? What the fuck do you expect me to do, you damn Deku?”

“I expect you to trust me,” Izuku countered, pouting a little and instantly softening Katsuki's scowl. “Come home and have fun with the boys instead of worrying about if they've done their homework and packed their bags and eaten a decent meal and had a bath. You know they have, you know they do it without being reminded, but you still come home with this checklist of things you have to go over instead of just relaxing.”

“Because it's gonna be a thousand times worse if they haven't!”

“Only if you're on your own!” Izuku insisted, squeeing his hands into fists. “You're still acting like a single parent! You have me now!”

Katsuki's cheeks flooded with pink, and Izuku heard his own words too late, all his frustration melting away in favour of his mouth falling open on silence.

“That came out wrong,” he choked. “You know what I mean!”

“I just don't want our boys to see it,” Katsuki grumbled. “They don't need to know when things aren't going the best, they just need to carry on with life like normal.”

“You underestimate them. You underestimate all of us. Do you know how many people would drop everything just to help you out in a pinch?”

“I don't want-”

“If you say pity I'm going to punch you.”

“I'd like to see you try.”

“Watch me,”

They fell silent again, this time broken by a waiter returning to top up their drinks.

“Thank you,” Izuku squeaked, trying his best to slap a smile on his face. “It's delicious.”

“I'm glad! If you're interested, we have some special Valentine's dessert specials, perfect for sharing! Would you like to see the menu?”

Izuku flooded bright red, and for the first time all night, Katsuki cracked a smile.

“What do you think sweetie?” He teased. “Got room for dessert?”

Izuku stuttered at him wordlessly, and Katsuki nodded, flashing his little smirk the waiter's way.

“That sounds great, thank you.”

“Katsuki!” Izuku hissed, the moment the waiter was out of sight. “What was that?!”

“Maybe we'll get a discount.”

“You don't need a discount!”

“Maybe it's just fun seeing you flustered. You didnt realise the date or some shit?”

“No! Why would I think about that?!”

“All my coworkers gave me chocolate.”

“Wha- They- Who?!”

“Huh? Raccoon-Eyes, Round-Face, a few of the interns? Does it matter?”

“They're flirting with you, Katsuki!”

“You've never gotten friend-chocolates?” Katsuki snorted. “Why does that not surprise me? Round-Face is married, you damn nerd, and Raccoon-Eyes is engaged.”

“B-B-But-!”

“You suddenly care if girls flirt with me?” Katsuki raised an eyebrow. “Not like they don't do it every day. I'm the number one hero and you think no chick ever asked me to sign her boobs or some shit?”

“You don't even like girls!”

“Then why do you care so much?”

Izuku shrunk into himself, eyes darting away in a hurry, and Katsuki's eyebrow rose even higher.

“You jealous or something? Date with that blonde bimbo didn't work out?”

“She wasn't a bimbo!” Izuku protested. “And that was weeks ago, have you been sitting on that for weeks and not even come up with a better insult?”

“How do I know you're not meeting her every day for lunch?”

“Because I don't like girls either!”

“You liked one enough to marry her.”

“We were young! I didn't know any better!”

“Wait, what?”

Katsuki stared at him, wide-eyed, and this time Izuku was relieved for their waiter to return with a dessert menu.

“The brownie looks good,” he spluttered quickly, holding it up to hide his face. “You don't have to share with me, I can just eat it myself!”

“Oh no you don't, nerd,” Katsuki snatched the menu, holding it up where Izuku couldn't reach with his flailing arms. “You didn't love her?”

“Of course I did! I was heartbroken when she died, I still am! But it wasnt, you know. The same.”

“The same as?”

“Proper love! I don't know! Stop asking mean questions! How do you think the boys are gonna feel if they find out I wasn't in love with her?!”

“They never even met her, they don't give a shit! At least she didn't straight up reject them like the asshole I knocked up!”

“We're a mess.”

“Fuckin' right we are,” Katsuki huffed, spreading the menu across the tabletop where they could both read it together. “I'm eating half the brownie, just try to stop me.”

Izuku sniffed, and when Katsuki looked up, he found stupid tears pouring down the freckled cheeks, groaning as he reached for a napkin to throw at him.

“What is it now, you damn nerd?”

“I don't like fighting with you!” Izuku sobbed. “I don't wanna fight!”

“We're not fighting, idiot. We're just shit at communication.”

“Just tell me what I can do to lighten your load, Kacchan! I don't care what it is, even if it's small or pointless, I just want to feel like I'm doing something.”

“Anything?”

“Anything!”

“Make me lunch again.”

“H-Huh? R-Really?”

“Mm-hm. Packing my lunch is a pain in the ass. Just make it healthy or whatever, don't be a dick and load it with chocolate cake.”

“You're not mad about the last one?”

“What would I be mad about?”

“I- I mean- The h-hearts and s-stuff?”

“Why would I be mad?” he repeated, meeting Izuku's eyes stubbornly. “Do it again, see if I care.”

“Okay,” Izuku nodded, swallowing hard. “I'll make your lunch every day, you can count on me!”

“Thanks, nerd.”

“A-And all the things you check when you get h-home. I'm gonna make sure they're done, whether it's before or after you arrive, so l-let me do it, okay?”

“Fine,” Katsuki huffed. “But I'm giving you a list.”

“Okay! A list would be nice!”

Katsuki signalled to the waiter, handing him the menu when he returned in a hurry.

“The brownie, the caramel lava cake, and the fruit platter. Thanks.”

“Right away, Sir!”

“That's a lot of dessert,” Izuku mused. “You don't even like dessert.”

“You do,” Katsuki shrugged. “I don't mind it sometimes. It's Valentine's Day, if I'm gonna load both our bodies with pure sugar, it may as well be today.”

“Yeah,” Izuku sniffed, wiping his tears on the napkin again and thankfully staying dry this time. “It all sounds yummy.”

“Then eat it and feel happy.”

“I will!” Izuku giggled, a little strained. “Thanks for bringing me out tonight, Kacchan.”

“It's no big deal,” Katsuki shrugged. “Whenever you want, just ask.”

“I'll go any day if it's with Kacchan!”

“Yeah,” Katsuki huffed a little sigh. “Um, thanks.”

─────

Katsuki woke up to a little lump crawling into his bed, wriggling his way in to snuggle against Katsuki's chest. He sighed when he felt fluffy hair tickle his neck, but wrapped an arm around him all the same, kissing his curls.

“Everything okay?” he whispered.

“Bad dreams, Daddy.”

“Poor thing,” he hummed, rubbing Hiroki's back lightly. “Wanna talk about it?”

“I wanna be strong,” Hiroki huffed, burying his face in Katsuki's shirt. “Heroes don't get scared over dreams, right?”

“Everyone gets scared over dreams. I have nightmares a lot.”

“You do?”

“Mm-hm. Since I was a teenager, I've had them lots and lots. Heroes are allowed to be scared, we just have to keep going anyway.”

“Can you tell me about yours first?”

Katsuki hesitated, cracking an eye open to peek, but Hiroki didn't look up.

“When I started at U.A. I got kidnapped by villains,” he said softly. “It was the scariest thing that ever happened to me, even though I tried to be brave the whole time. But I've had nightmares ever since, about being kidnapped again, about being trapped in a dark room, about people thinking I'm a villain.”

“You?” Hiroki asked. “You're the best hero, Daddy.”

“Mm, but people didn't think so, back then. The villains thought I would join them, because I yelled a lot and called people mean names. I refused, of course, I never even considered it, but it hurt me a lot that people thought I would do something like that.”

“Daddy, no,” Hiroki whispered, shuffling up to plant a kiss on Katsuki's cheek. “You were still little! People didn't know!”

“Yeah,” Katsuki chuckled, hugging him tighter. “You're right, they didn't, but they learned very quickly. I made a lot of mistakes when I was little, you know. We all make mistakes, especially when we're little. I just want to help you and Yuuto to not make the same ones I made.”

“i love you, Daddy.”

“I love you too, my baby boy,” Katsuki blinked back tears, hugging Hiroki tightly. “I could never have asked for a better son, I hope you know that. You are so, so perfect.”

“And I wouldn't want any other Daddy!” Hiroki assured him, his tears dampening Katsuki's pillow. “I love you, Daddy! Please don't be sad!”

“I'm not sad,” Katsuki assured him, managing a watery smile. “I'm sorry, things are just weird right now.”

“Let me help.”

“You do help, you help every single day. Just seeing your face makes everything so much better.”

“And Yuuto too?”

“Of course. My two best boys. It's a little different though, don't you think? You have a different relationship with me than with Papa.”

“Uh-huh! But not better or worse, just different!”

“Exactly. Me and Yuuto have a lot in common, and we have lots of fun together and talk about lots of good stuff, but you're my Hiro. You're my snuggle-bunny, who always thinks of me and everyone else before you think of yourself. It'll take more time for me and Yuuto to be as close as you and me. Just like you and Papa.”

“Do you love me more than Yuuto?”

“Are you hoping I'll say yes?”

“I don't know.”

“I don't think it's more,” Katsuki hummed faintly, thinking. “I think maybe me and Yuuto aren't very good at it yet, me and you have had lots of practice.”

“I think Papa loves Yuuto more.”

“I don't think so,” Katsuki shook his head, combing his fingers through Hiroki's hair. “I think maybe you and Papa aren't so good at it either. He had six years with Yuuto, just like I did with you, but we've only had what, three months together? I know we got close really fast, but it's still not a long time. But six years from now, I think you'll be just as close to Papa as you are to me, and I'll be just as close to Yuuto. Is that what's been worrying you?”

“A little.”

“How come? Which bit makes you nervous?”

“I want Papa to love me like I love him.”

“He does, I promise. He tells you every day, doesn't he? Every time you go to school or to bed, he tells you.”

“But that's just words,” Hiroki pouted.

“What would you prefer? Maybe I can help”

“Cuddles are nice.”

“I guarantee Izuku will give you cuddles any time you want. Just ask, or just do it, and he'll probably be so happy he cries.”

“But... Maybe I want Papa to cuddle me. But only if he wants to! I don't want to ask him for cuddles because he'll feel bad if he doesn't want to!”

“I think Papa feels the same way. He wants to give you lots of cuddles, but he's nervous you won't want it.”

“I always want cuddles!”

“I think he does, too.”

“And I like it when you tell me I'm good.”

“You know you're good, though.”

“But I like it! When you say 'you did your homework already? What a good boy!' and stuff it makes me happy!”

“Okay, I'll keep it in mind.”

“And I want to do things together.”

“Like what?”

“I don't know. Like how you and me used to go to museums and things.”

“Used to?”

“Now it's all four of us. I like that too! Don't be sad! I just think it's nice on our own sometimes, too.”

“Okay,” Katsuki nodded. “I'm gonna figure it out for you. You can take that worry away now, I've got it for you instead.”

“Thank you Daddy. And I'm gonna take your villain worry, kay? I know Daddy would never be a villain, you can stop having those nightmares.”

“Thank you,” Katsuki smiled, closing his eyes again as he snuggled in. “Let's get some good sleep, okay? No more nightmares allowed.”

“No more,” Hiroki agreed. “Thanks Daddy.”

“Any time, Hiro.”

─────

When Izuku found the letter on his bedside table, he was terrified. Anything Katsuki wouldn't say in person had to be bad, especially after their argument at the restaurant the night prior. He could only hope and pray that it wasn't a request for him to leave, to cancel the house-building plans and split off, like he'd been half-expecting from the beginning.

What he found instead was almost worse. Katsuki had phrased it all in the nicest ways possible, surprisingly kind and tactful for the explosive man, but one short paragraph in particular had Izuku in tears in a heartbeat.

Hiroki is worried you don't love him as much as you love Yuuto. I can't imagine that being true, not with the way I know I feel about them both, but you deserve to know about this insecurity of his so you can help reassure him.

A large part of him wanted to pretend nothing was said, to let Hiroki believe that it came out of nowhere, but Izuku knew that would never work. Hiroki was too observant for that, not nearly young enough or stupid enough to think that his talk with his Dad was unrelated. Instead, he wiped his eyes and opened the bedroom door, smiling weakly when he found Hiroki rinsing off his breakfast plate.

“Can we talk for a moment?”

Hiroki's face filled with fear, but he took a deep breath and nodded all the same, squeezing his trembling hands into brave fists as he followed.

“I know this is hard to talk about,” izuku assured him, closing the bedroom door behind them. “I know it's awkward and scary, it is for me too, but we need to talk about it.”

“About w-what I s-said to D-Daddy?”

“Yeah,” Izuku nodded. “Can I give you a hug?”

Hiroki nodded, and Izuku pulled him into his lap, hugging him as tight as he could possibly manage without being scared of hurting the kid.

“I love you so much, Hiroki. I know those words might not mean enough, and I'm gonna work really hard on figuring out how to show you, okay? I'm not very good at it, so I hope you can give me a little more time and help me figure out how to prove it to you.”

“I don't need you to prove it,” Hiroki sniffled, already tearing up. “You didn't do it wrong.”

“I didn't?”

“No! Daddy says it's different, and I know it is. It doesn't have to be the same. I just... Want to know.”

“Katsuki suggested we spend some time together, just me and you. I thought that sounded nice. If you don't want to do that, I understand, but-”

“I do.”

“Yeah? Not just because I think it sounds nice?”

“I said it to Daddy,” Hiroki objected. “I said it first.”

“Good, then let's plan out some fun things to do together, yeah?”

“I liked the snow. We made animals. Do you remember?”

“Of course I remember! I'm not that old,” Izuku grinned, nuzzling Hiroki's hair and making him giggle. “If it snows again we can definitely do that again.”

“That's not what I mean.”

“Sorry, can you explain for me, then?”

“Daddy and Yuuto were playing rough, and that's fun sometimes too, but me and you got to talk and make animals and it was nice.”

“Hmm. Because you and Katsuki don't do quiet stuff much?”

“He does if I want to! But, um, me and Daddy... We both like running and climbing and things. So I like doing things we both like!”

“I think I get you,” Izuku smiled, stroking his hair lightly. “This is what we need to do more, okay? If you're feeling something, we should talk about it. I know it's scary sometimes, but I think that's the one thing Katsuki wasn't very good at teaching.”

“He's trying lots!”

“Yeah, he's learning right now too, and that's super cool. But just between you and me, I learned to talk about stuff a long time ago. So maybe we can practice together, and then you can help Daddy learn too.”

“Yeah!”

“We're gonna learn to be experts at love. You know everyone shows their love differently, right?”

“Uh-huh! Daddy says you use words lots but he does things instead.”

“Exactly, Daddy is a smart man. And you know, Yuuto feels the same way. Katsuki had to learn to say it for him, since that was what Yuuto was used to. I guess I forgot that I need to learn your way, too. I'm sorry for that, I didn't think.”

“It's okay,” Hiroki assured him. “I love you lots, I just want...”

“I do,” Izuku answered, when Hiroki trailed off. “I love you so much, Hiro. But you know, I was scared too. Because you might love Katsuki more than you love me. And I understand if you do! You grew up with him, after all! But I want to show you that I love you just as much as I love Yuuto, anyway.”

“I love you just as much,” Hiroki parroted, his eyes sinking closed as he relaxed into Izuku a little. “It's different, not less. Can I tell you lots, since you like words?”

“You can tell me any time you want,” Izuku smiled warmly. “I would love to hear it.”

“Okay. And I can have cuddles?”

“Any time you want,” he repeated. “I love cuddles.”

“Me too. Papa should cuddle me, too.”

“I am, aren't I?”

“When you want.”

“Oh, instead of waiting for you?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Okay, I'll remember that. Thank you for talking to me, Hiro. You're so grown up, I'm always so impressed.”

“You think so?”

“I really, really think so. You're so responsible, and so smart, and so good. You know, Yuuto used to get in trouble all the time? And when we were gonna meet, I thought 'oh no, how am I gonna handle two of them?!' but you've made it so easy and you make me so happy and I just- I dont think I've ever been happier in my life than this time I've spent with you, Hiro. I fell in love with you the first time I saw your face.”

“The first time?”

“The first time,” he confirmed. “Because remember, me and Daddy knew before you did? And so when we met, I knew you were the son who was... supposed to be mine, I guess?”

“Blood-son.”

“Exactly. I knew you were my blood-son, and so I walked in and I saw your face and I knew I could never, ever let you go.”

“Daddy didn't want to tell me but I heard him tell Grandma that you were meant to switch.”

“Not meant to,” Izuku shook his head firmly. “It was what the doctors suggested, what other people have done when it happened to them. But me and Katsuki never even considered it. Because he loved you too much, and I love Yuuto too much, to just switch like it was no big deal. But then I met you, and he met Yuuto, and we knew we couldn't just walk away, either. I was so, so lucky that Katsuki is so generous. There aren't many people who would just tell us to move in, you know? And now I can't imagine it being any different, I don't ever want to leave you and Katsuki.”

“Don't leave.”

“I won't, sweetie. Not unless you want me to. Even if Katsuki tries to make me, I'm gonna fight him. I'll even punch him if I have to!”

“Daddy doesn't want you to leave either, silly! And you shouldn't punch people!”

“I know, but I would for you.”

“You do love me,” Hiroki giggled.

“I told you that already, silly! Did Katsuki teach you to show your love through punching?!”

“No! I was teasing, Papa!”

“Oh good,” Izuku laughed. “But I mean it, I'll fight anyone who tries to take me away from you.”

“No one will try! Daddy loves you too, and he'll fight any mean people who might try!”

Izuku blushed, and for a moment he didn't speak, struggling to come up with a response.

“Do you love Daddy?” Hiroki asked tentatively. “You don't say it.”

“You're right, I don't say it. I don't think Daddy would be very happy if I said it.”

“But he says it,” Hiroki pouted. “Not with words, because he doesn't do word-love, but he still tells you.”

“Of course I love him,” Izuku mumbled, burning bright red. “But it's different loving other adults, I'm sure you know that.”

“Uh-huh. Nana and Grampa Toshi love each other different to how I love Papa.”

“Exactly.”

“And Grandma and Grandpa love each other so much they got married,” he continued. “But it's not like I wanna marry Yuuto, even though I love him.”

“Right. There's lots and lots of different loves.”

“Which kind of love do you love Daddy with?” Hiroki pushed. “Is it another different kind?”

“You know, sweetie, that might be the hardest question you've ever asked me,” he said softly. “He might be a new kind of love entirely, one I haven't felt before. One day I'll figure it out, and you'll be the first to know.”

“Okay,” Hiroki agreed. “But Papa I need to get ready for kindergarten.”

“I know you do,” Izuku chuckled. ”But I don't want to let go just yet.”

“It's okay Papa, I'll give you cuddles when I get home!” Hiroki beamed, turning to throw his arms around Izuku's neck.”I gotta go learn, and Papa has to go work, but then we can do all the cuddles! Papa-Hiro Love Cuddles!”

“That sounds perfect,” Izuku agreed, nodding as he gave Hiroki one last squeeze. “Okay, my big responsible boy, you go get yourself ready.”

“Okay!”

“And think about Papa-Hiro dates, too.”

“I will!” Hiroki grinned. “The best dates ever!”

“I can't wait.”

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