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MelasD
MelasD

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[Salvos] 59. Ignavare (Removed for KU)

(Removed for KU)

Comments

Salvos and Daniel got into a fight, but it was unnatural since the buildup for it was skipped as I rushed the pacing of these chapters to match with my outline.

MelasD

Wait what changed?

PlasmaticPi

Ty for the chapter

Heriaks

Fixed

MelasD

She shouldn’t have a status penalty. She already changed back to demon form.

InfernalDrake

yeah, problem was i planned for the drama sequence to happen with a few build up scenes before. but i removed those scenes for the sake of pacing and other reasons. so now that scene has no buildup to it and is completely jarring. shoulda known that but blegh. i tried to stick with my outline too hard.

MelasD

I’ll admit, I like this second ending a whole lot more. Feels more in character.

Sitna

Will retcon it in a bit

MelasD

Hm. Yeah I’ll change it

MelasD

Drama's fine, but that seemed kinda forced. When she asked Daniel to get the collar, my first thought was "why doesn't she just get it herself," then it activated and my thought was "oh... it was so this would happen." Nothing from Salvos up to this point even suggests that she's the type to suspect her companions of sabotage. Far from this, I'd be more inclined to believe Daniel actually betraying her, while she goes along with it all the while thinking he was helping her.

closeded

It seems out of character for salvos to get mad at dan. Like her entire deal is to never attacking without reason.

Enaz the great


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