[Salvos] 65. Eye for an Eye (Removed for KU)
Added 2021-02-04 07:33:43 +0000 UTC(Removed for KU)
Comments
This was really bad. I thought for a moment the warrior had some kind of teleport home, hence why he thought he could escape. But... he didn't. Daniel just watched him go and did nothing. That is really really really bad. I hope this is the last time the story enter cutscene dumbass mode, because I don't know if I can continue reading it.
Arkeus
2021-02-20 08:58:26 +0000 UTCright. honestly i don't work well with outlines. the way things are, i feel is quite good.
MelasD
2021-02-13 10:58:13 +0000 UTCIf you are worried about the pacing being too slow, if anything it's a bit on the fast side. Some of your better chapters are the ones dedicated to character building. Don't be afraid to have the characters stop to smell the roses occasionally.
Melting Sky
2021-02-13 10:39:50 +0000 UTC"morning star {off} his hands" - "out of" "on one {feet}" - "foot" "{anad} the screaming" - "and" "don't write {on} it" - "in" "your clothes. {It's}" - "they're" "Haec is still in danger in the Netherworld {just because} Lucerna and I" - I think something like "even though" may fit better here? Or maybe "Haec isn't safe in the Netherworld just because..."
J
2021-02-13 01:24:08 +0000 UTCI agree with the above, some previous chapters have felt almost like playing a movie in fast forward, but this one felt just right.
AgeOldCure
2021-02-04 16:19:52 +0000 UTCI like the pacing. Much faster and it'd feel rushed.
closeded
2021-02-04 13:07:04 +0000 UTCYou're taking your time to develop your characters. It's fun and quite refreshing, since not many authors do that anymore. Good job!
Di M
2021-02-04 12:44:09 +0000 UTCThis feels like the right pacing. Any faster and I feel like we’d be skipping through interactions way too fast to get any proper character development.
Pavante
2021-02-04 11:38:28 +0000 UTC
