Akuyaku Reijou ni Nanka Narimasen - Chapter 545, 546, 547

PC and the Sage.
A refreshing morning after finishing a task. On the table at home, there was something unfamiliar. Ah, I remembered: it was supposed to be my computer and printer... but I discovered something that shouldn’t be there.

It was a severed head.

“N-nooooo!?”

“Rosarin!? What happened!?”

Hearing my scream, Dirk rushed to my side. I clung to him tightly in a panic.

“T-that…”

I pointed at the desk.

“Ah… Okaasan, don’t get mad at her.”

Dirk’s ring, Rosie-kun, appeared. He seemed to know something about it.

Huh? A ring?

Now that I think about it, my finger feels lighter.

“It’s gone!? Ah! Valkyrie!? What are you doing!?”

What I mistook for a severed head turned out to be Valkyrie. Why was she between the computer and printer, looking like that? Wait!

“You ate them, didn’t you!? Spit them out!! I told you, you don’t have to go out of your way to be useful! Stop overdoing it!!”

“…Y ou really are full of surprises.”

Apparently, Valkyrie had swallowed the computer and printer. What a reckless thing to do!

“I tell you every single time! Stop being reckless! Valkyrie, you’re my precious partner! Computers and printers are convenient, but your importance is on an entirely different level!”

I dropped to all fours and started pounding the floor in frustration.

“I just wanted to be useful. Lately, I haven’t had a role even during hunts, and I hate just being a ring by your side. I want to be a convenient tool for my master, too! I can’t stand losing to some upstart like this!!”

“… You’re really loved, aren’t you?”

“It’s too much love! Anyway, I don’t want anything to happen to Valkyrie, so I’m taking her to the old man’s place! Rosie-kun, if you knew, why didn’t you tell me!?”

Rosie-kun gave me a wry smile.

“Well, peace and quiet are nice, but we haven’t been used much either, you know… Honestly, I understand exactly how she feels. I get what you’re saying too, Okaasan. But, well…”

Rosie-kun explained that their reason for existence is to serve their master. They feel fulfilled only when they are useful to their master. He said it’s something we humans couldn’t fully understand because of our different perspectives.

For now, I launched a surprise attack on the Sage’s house. His wife was at work, and his son was at school, so I could barge in without worry.

First, I rang the doorbell repeatedly. The Sage’s house has a magic tool that works like an intercom.

“Annoying… What do you want, demon disciple?”

“I came to tease the Sage.”

“Go home.”

He slammed the door in my face. This short-tempered old man could really use some patience. Isn’t it important to listen to people until the end, especially as an elder?

“Would you prefer I destroy the door along with everything else, or will you open it willingly?”

“Welcome, come in.”

The Sage’s danger detection and avoidance skills were indeed exceptional. He opened the door obediently.

The Sage’s tea is always suspiciously bad, so I made tea myself.

“So, what did you really come here for?”

“Well…”

I handed him the ring. The sage, a beautiful old man, frowned deeply as he examined it.

“What did she do? What happened this time? It’s so complicated I can’t even read it!”

“Well, Valkyrie, jealous of the over-technology of the otherworlders, swallowed a crystallization of said technology☆”

“………………”

The Sage and I exchanged smiles.

“Hey, you irresponsible disciple!”

“Do you think slapping ‘disciple’ at the end of every insult makes it better, you sadistic master?”

“…………………”

Again, we exchanged smiles.

“You careless disciple! You shouldn’t be bringing over-technology from the otherworld into this one! You knew it would cause trouble, didn’t you? Stop acting on impulse and doing unnecessary things! I bet you just left it lying around, didn’t you!?”

“Ugh… But I don’t want to hear that from a messy old master who creates disaster zones in his own house!”

“I haven’t done that recently!”

“Hah! Do you think I wouldn’t know? You’ve been doing it at the magic court instead lately!”

“Ugh… You’ve got me there. Well, that’s not the point! I don’t even know how this ‘computer’ will affect anything!”

“Useless as always, aren’t you?”

I clicked my tongue. The beautiful old man looked like he was about to cry—he’s surprisingly weak when criticized.

“Even if I’m called a sage, there are things I don’t know!”

“You’re mostly useless, though.”

“Ugh… The problems you bring are always too much! Most of them are things no one could solve!!”

“Ugh… Today’s match is a draw then…”

We weren’t exactly competing, but we had a dumb argument like that.

In the end, the Sage said Valkyrie’s magic power seemed stable, so it should be fine. Reluctantly, I decided to head to school.

----------

Wand and Rinka.
Reluctantly, I went to school. When I vented my frustrations during lunch break...

"Rosarin, if you want to try something new, make sure to consult Niisama first."

"Yes..."

My Niisama had stopped scolding me and seemed to have given up on something. Milfi was patting my head gently. Ugh… Milfi is so kind.

"So, what can this ‘computer’ do?"

Aldin-sama was brimming with curiosity.

"Computer? Oh… you can play games or even work on it. For work, you can use Excel to do automatic calculations, for example."

"… That sounds convenient."

Alphage-sama's previously indifferent demeanor suddenly changed as his eyes sparkled.

"And what else… Wait! Rosarin, I want a computer and printer too!"

"I refuse! I cannot allow the expansion of the rotten world anymore! Absolutely not!!"

"H-how did you figure that out!?"

Of course, it was obvious. In this world, 'printing' either involves woodblock methods or a manual typesetter press, which is incredibly labor-intensive and unsuitable for mass production.

"Tsk… or so you think! Tsu-san!"

"Huh!? Gyaaaaa!?"

Rinka's bracelet transformed into a tentacle and snatched my ring.

"G-give it back! For the sake of my… no, for the peace of the world, I cannot hand over the computer (Valkyrie)!"

However, Rinka's interference was too precise, and the target was too small for me to retrieve it.

"Ugh, give it back! Valkyrie! Fight back!"

"I apologize, Master. Tsu-san is a comrade who wishes to be useful to her master. Furthermore, if I were to resist seriously, Tsu-san would be completely destroyed."

"Fight back with restraint!"

"…I t will be difficult, but I will try."

Then, Valkyrie…

Valkyrie…

Somehow transformed into something that looked like an Ultraman with extra embellishments and pinned Tsu-san down.

"G-gross!? No, it’s kinda cool!? I’m torn here!"

"Looks awesome to me!"

It seemed to be generally well-received among the boys, but the girls were less enthusiastic.

To me, a metallic figure with leopard-like ears and tail added to an Ultraman-style body was… questionable.

After whispering something to Tsu-san, Valkyrie made Tsu-san obediently return to bracelet form on Rinka’s arm. Wait, wasn't it supposed to be a staff?

"It feels like its identity has completely crumbled..."

"Well, wands are kinda inconvenient to carry around."

That was a solid point. Well, if Tsu-san is okay with it, I guess it’s fine.

In the end, Valkyrie had apparently shared the computer and printer functionality data with Tsu-san without my knowledge.

By the time I found out, Rinka had already spread secondary creations of “The Ice Prince and the White Rabbit” across not just Christia but other countries as well.

"Valkyrie, why…?"

"I wanted to grant the wish of a comrade who wanted to be useful to her master. Besides… if Rinka-sama had earnestly wished for it, a god of another world might have bought a computer, tampered with it, and caused an even bigger disaster…"

"What the… My random idea has led to the massive expansion of rotten world…!"

I was doomed the moment I brought a computer into this country… wasn’t I!?

Even after desperately trying to collect and burn at least the fanfiction books, it seems I was thwarted by Alphage-sama's mother. All my efforts were in vain.

I… am powerless…!

----------

The cause was identified, but the problem was still unsolvable.
Although the outrageous accident of further expanding of the rotten world occurred, I couldn't afford to stay down forever. There's a mountain of things to do.

The guest list was finalized, and all invitations were sent. While waiting for the RSVPs, we had to move on to the next stage.

Today, I'm back at my family home, discussing wedding preparations with my brother.

The venue is confirmed as Saintya Cathedral—no issues there.

The dress has been entrusted to my mother. Since I’ve already conveyed my preferences, there’s no issue there either.

The bouquet will, once again, be handmade by my brother—no problems there.

The issue lies with the performances for the wedding.

“What should I do…”

For now, I’ve asked Makoto and the others to perform some hidden talents as a spur-of-the-moment request, but I’ll need a few more acts ready—especially with the state guests in attendance.

“Since Valkyrie is so associated with Rosarin, how about having Valkyrie perform a dance?”

“I will do my best.”

“Don’t agree so smoothly! While it might be spectacular, securing enough space will be difficult!”

“Oh, that’s too bad...”

“How unfortunate.”

Brother, aren’t you starting to tread into the realm of absurdity? If Valkyrie were to stumble, it would be a catastrophe!

“I heard everything! Allow me to participate in the performances!”

Suddenly, Mitchell-san, Cider-kun’s father, entered the room—though I had no idea where he had been listening from.

“Professor!”

“Mr. Mitchell-san!”

“And I’m here too~”

Oh, Diesel-san was here as well. Hello there. I completely missed him since Mitchell-san is so huge.

“Rosarin, leave it to us! Professor, Dil, I’ll give it my all to support you!”

With this group assembled, I could only feel a deep sense of unease.

“…I have conditions.”

“What are they?”

“It must be something Cidar-kun has approved of.”

“”“......…”””

The three of them froze in place with forced smiles. That shouldn’t have been an unreasonable demand.

“Cidar-kun can be strict, you know…”

“It’s non-negotiable. State guests are coming, so safety is the top priority!”

“Would Geraldin-san or the former king of my country suffice?”

“Absolutely not! Their approval means nothing—they’re far too unreliable!!”

In the end, I managed to convince the three to consult Cidar-kun.

“… I’m not sure how much we can do, but I’ll try my best.”

Cidar-kun gave a tired smile and nodded. Sorry! Only you can keep them in check! I’m counting on you! Sorry for adding to your headaches!!

And then my brother went off with Mitchell-san and the others…

Just as I was about to achieve enlightenment in a certain Gendo pose, I heard a cute voice.

“Oneechan, Kuurin and the others want to perform too!”

“Me too!”

“Me too~”

It was Kuurin, Kou, and Arisa. A mini-sized adorable goldfish, a pretty dragon, and an eternal little girl? Their dance would surely be described as "adorable."

However, my twisted Rosarin brain turned that image into a giant kaiju show featuring Bahamut, dragons, and the massive tree Magcheria.

“… Are you planning to perform at your current size?”

“””Nope, we’ll get even bigger!”””

So it was going to be a kaiju show!!

“… Why?”

“It’s hard to see when we’re small, and it’s more impactful when we’re big. Plus, it’ll help scare off any idiots who might challenge you!”

Huh?

“Yeah, yeah. Jend said so—”

Kou hurriedly clamped his hands over Kuurin’s mouth. So this was a Jend production?! He really has my best interests at heart, doesn’t he?!

“Mama, Arisa will work super hard and make sure it’s absolutely safe for the guests! Rulan and the others are super eager too, so it’s too late to—”

Kou hastily covered Arisa’s mouth this time.

“… Care to explain?”

I gave Kou a smile while still in the Gendo pose.

Apparently, this dance performance would feature young crystal dragons as backup dancers. Since they’re relatively eager to interact with humans, they wanted to erase the terrifying image of dragons.

The venue issue was solved with a simple “We’ll fly.” I had no counterarguments.

Barely holding back from rolling my eyes, I reluctantly gave my approval—or rather, I had no choice.

As I murmured, “I can’t run away; I can’t run away,” Ernst arrived.

“I heard we’re allowed to use large-scale magic tools for Rosarin’s wedding.”

“Tell me where you heard that from. I’m going to go deal with them.”

“Jend.”

Ernst confessed immediately. Don’t sell out your friend so easily!

“What is Jend trying to accomplish…?”

“He said he wanted to demonstrate Rosarin’s economic power and use the dragons to scare off any fools.”

Jend… Jend, what are you trying to turn me into? Are you aiming for me to become some kind of terrifying queen figure?!

“Here’s my idea.”

Ernst presented a proper proposal. How professional!

“Hmm…”

It outlined acrobatics with flying magic tools, colorful magic smoke, and flower showers, with contingency plans for safety barriers. There wasn’t a single flaw.

“Your budget, your rules—do as you like.”

“Great! I’ll make it spectacular!”

“… Sure.”

I wanted to say “It doesn’t have to be spectacular,” but Ernst’s genuinely happy expression left me unable to complain.

Finally, the magic beasts—Mofumaru, Snow Tiger Shirayuki, Lightning Lizard Uemura, Water Spider Suigetsu, Crystal Rabbit Kurisu, Wind Hawk Hojo, and Paralyze Snake Mahiru—offered to perform. I ended up practicing with them as well.

With all these acts, the lineup was more than enough. Still, I couldn’t shake a sense of unease. Why?

“Dirk, we’ve decided on all the acts besides Makoto’s group.”

I handed Dirk the report, and he quickly reviewed it.

“… Honestly, this lineup feels more like something for an international conference or festival than a wedding.”

“That’s it!!”

The unease was because the scale was clearly beyond what’s typical for a wedding. But even knowing that, there was no solving the issue now.

In life, one must learn when to give up.

Next: https://www.patreon.com/posts/116611658