Akuyaku Reijou ni Nanka Narimasen - Chapter 551, 552, 553, 554

A cute young lady's seriousness.
Dan’s Point of View
I had never once asked Ojousama for specific ingredients before. She was always busy, and whether as a souvenir or as a kind gesture, she’d bring back extraordinary materials without me saying a word.

That’s why this was the first time I ever said, “I want this.”

When I showed the list to my friend, who’s now the head chef at the royal palace, he punched me. He said the habitats for these ingredients were so scattered that it’d take ten years to gather them all and scolded me thoroughly. Honestly, I had never even considered the habitats of monsters before. As I reflected on my naivety and resolved to keep learning, I heard a familiar, sweet voice.

“Dan, I’m baaaack!”

Ojousama was back—with Geraldin-sama, Jash, and Jend. They seemed to have minor injuries… no, their clothes were just a little torn. Looks like they’d already healed up.

“Welcome back, Ojousama. I hope you didn’t push yourself too ha—”
“Got everything on the list!”

Huh?

I glanced at the royal chef standing beside me, and he was slack-jawed. Too fast. Not even half a day had passed.

“Oh, and guess what? The kind dungeon master suggested I go for the highest-ranked versions of what was on the list, so I hunted those instead!”

Ojousama had grown into a peerless beauty, but in my eyes, she would always be the adorable girl who’d bounce around asking me for praise. Like a cute daughter. I instinctively patted her head while processing her words. Dungeon master? Kind dungeon master??

“... Ojousama, what exactly did you hunt?”

“Well, let’s see… Hyper-Mega Buffalo!”

Just from looking at it, I could tell it was top-tier meat. My mouth started watering. Was it glowing? It felt like it was glowing.

“Legendary Ucockatrice Eggs!”

That… that’s from fairy tales. It actually exists? Also, why is it glowing? No, it’s outright shining at a blinding level!

“Yamata no Beast King Ox-Chicken!”

It’s massive. I’d heard it existed but never thought I’d see one. Years ago, I heard one was put up for auction, and it was said to taste incredible.

“Mm. It is delicious. I hunted one once before.”

“… Were you the one who put it up for auction?”

“? I don’t know, but I sold it to the guild, and they couldn’t put a price on it.”

“……………………”

Yep, that must have been Geraldin-sama’s doing. I’d always wanted to try it, but I never thought it’d actually happen.

“True Sea King Tuna!”

“Never heard of it…”

“The dungeon master said it’s a rare mutation of a higher-tier species, so it’s exceptionally rare worldwide.”

How in the world did they manage to catch something like that? Ojousama is incredible…

“Shining Mirage Shrimp.”

“It’s glowing.”

The shrimp sparkled like the northern lights. Stunning. And huge.

“That one was pretty tricky, right?”
“The dungeon master summoned a whole swarm of them…”
“That damn dog. I’m plucking its fur next time…”

Dog? I decided to put that mystery aside and served some sweets to thank Ojousama and her companions.

“Thank you, Ojousama. And Geraldin-sama, Jash, Jend, too. I made some madeleines. Please, have some.”

Naturally, we tried some of the game Ojousama brought back, too. And… it was incredible. Even grilled with just salt, it was beyond anything I’d ever tasted. I needed to devise dishes that would bring out the full potential of these divine ingredients.

“Ojousama, I promise to craft the finest full-course meal for you!!”

With these likely world’s best ingredients that she provided, I had no choice but to rise to the occasion. Anything less would be unworthy of a man.

From that day onward, I threw myself wholeheartedly into menu development.

----------

The price of an imagination.
The parts Dan wanted were the meat and offal, so most of the magic stones, bones, scales, and shells were unnecessary. Even for making broth, the quantity was overwhelming. Not wanting to waste them, I decided to take the leftovers home—maybe they’d come in handy for something.

For starters, I tried giving the magic stones to Ernst. When I silently handed him a magic stone—no, a magic boulder—his face turned pale, and he refused.

“Don’t just casually hand over something so valuable! Why is it so massive… what did you do!?”

“It was free! Don’t make it sound like I’m a troublemaker! I just hunted the best ingredients for the wedding feast! Besides, you can use this to build that massive flying magic device you always dreamed of!”

A jumbo jet-like craft meant to carry many people—it had been planned but never realized due to limitations in magic stone output.

“Grr…”

“If you make it, it’ll reduce the burden on pilots, right? And it’ll be convenient for carrying large groups of people, right?”

“Grr… grr…”

“Of course, I’ll expect something in return. Once it’s done, I’d like it to transport guests for my wedding.”

“… Fine.”

Ernst finally gave in. After examining the magic boulders, he selected three suitable ones for the flying magic device.

“That’s not much. How about a few more for research costs…”
“It’s plenty. Once it’s done, I’ll let you test-ride it.”

Ernst, who had shed his reclusive habits, had also overcome his social awkwardness. With his gentle smile and newfound confidence, he’d become quite popular—a handsome scientist in the making. Feeling proud of my friend’s growth, I left the magic institute.

I considered dumping the remaining materials on the Sage, but I decided to sell some to the guild instead. Weddings can be incredibly expensive, so I wanted to lighten the financial burden on my family. What a frugal, ideal bride I am! (Self-praise.)

The Adventurers’ Guild seemed unusually busy. It wasn’t an adventurer crowd causing the commotion; it was the incessant ringing of communication devices. Even the receptionists and Guildmaster were swamped. I was about to leave and come back later when the Guildmaster grabbed my shoulder.

“… May I have a word, Ojousama?”

“… Uh, sure?”

He ushered me into his office. I should’ve brought Geraldin-san with me, darn it.

“… Currently, across various nations, there’s been a series of incidents where monsters deemed untouchable or under surveillance have been disappearing.”

“……………”

That… could it possibly…

“Do you know anything about this?”

Too much, but I maintained my noble smile. This is the moment to don the mask of a refined lady, Rosarin!

“… I have no idea.”

“……………”

An awkward silence hung in the air.

“… Recently, the S-rank party Reckless Resolve encountered a certain monster.”

“Yes?”

“The monster was a Yamata no Beast King Ox-Chicken, believed to be the same species once defeated by the Hero Geraldin.”

“………Yes?”

“They didn’t engage it intentionally. They happened to be nearby on another quest when it attacked a village, leaving them no choice but to fight. Thanks to a certain hero who was also nearby, there were no casualties. However, they were on the verge of being overpowered.”

That certain hero… I wasn’t there, so there’s only one possible suspect.

“…………… Yes?”

“As Reckless Resolve tried to evacuate civilians, the monster suddenly vanished. They reportedly heard voices:

‘Huh? This monster’s already injured! Stealing a half-hunted target is bad manners!’
‘I can put it back, but a lot of people will probably die if I do.’
‘Wait! Don’t put it back!’

… Do you know anything about this?”

“Not at all!”

They have no proof, after all!

“The nearby hero said, ‘That’s definitely Rosarin-chan’s voice! She saved us!’”

“Rinka, you traitor!!”

“… Explain.”

Resigned, I explained the details to the Guildmaster.

“… I see. So you even took down threats we didn’t know existed.”

“Well, I didn’t anticipate causing such a fuss… I underestimated the impact. My apologies…”

“No, you prevented harm, so I owe you thanks as Guildmaster. Now, there’s one more matter concerning you.”

“… What?”

I hadn’t done anything else. I tilted my head in confusion.

“Your current rank is SSS. But with accomplishments surpassing even Hero Geraldin, who saved the world, there’s talk of creating a new rank above SSS for you.”

“I refuse.”

“… Hear me out.”

“Absolutely not!!”

I shook my head furiously, but the guild master pressed on relentlessly.

“… Given your latest accomplishments, your rank upgrade is inevitable. You’ll set a precedent with this new rank.”

“N-noooo!! Wait! Geraldin-san hunted with me! Jend and Jash, too!”

“Understood. Jash isn’t registered, but Jend will likely be promoted as well.”

“I’ll quit the Adventurers’ Guild!!”

“Please don’t. Your contributions to the guild are invaluable.”

“Then cancel the promotion!”

“… I’ll try, but if it’s impossible?”

Knowing the Guildmaster would keep his word but aware the higher-ups might not relent, I decided to compromise.

“… If Geraldin-san is promoted alongside me…”

“That shouldn’t be a problem. But you really are Rufus’s daughter—completely unpredictable.”

The Guildmaster chuckled, sharing stories of my father’s past antics. Same old Tousama, as always.

Though I was momentarily distracted, I couldn’t believe the hidden pitfalls of ingredient hunting!

I shifted gears and attempted to sell some materials, only to be told they’d be priced by current market value. Without much thought, I instructed the guild to send all proceeds to my family.

Later, an absurdly massive amount of money was delivered to my home—more than I’d ever seen. My brother summoned me.

“Explain!!”

“Yes, sir! Gladly!!”

And thus, a lively exchange ensued, as one might expect.

----------

Report and today's achievements.
Exhausted from my discussion with the Guildmaster, I was at home preparing dinner. I had acquired a bounty of excellent ingredients today, and I was certain Dirk would enjoy the meal.

The indescribable Hyper-Mega Buffalo would simply be turned into steak. After seasoning it, I planned to cook it as soon as Dirk returned. Freshly cooked is always best, after all. And rice! Meat and rice are an unbeatable combo! Of course, a balance of vegetables is also important... Just as I finished cooking, Dirk came home.

“I'm home!”

“Welcome back! Would you like dinner? A bath? Or... me?”

I tilted my head cutely and looked at him.

“Gah... too adorable! I’ll take you, Rosarin…”

“Hehe, honored to be your choice~!”

Standing on my tiptoes, I kissed Dirk. He started to touch me when—

ANGYAAOOOS!

Dirk turned beet red and collapsed. What a ferocious stomach growl!

“Let’s have dinner! We need to calm down your Gyaos!”

“Rosarin, stop naming my stomach growls! And you, Gyaos, read the room!”

At last, Dirk also acknowledged his stomach growls as “Gyaos.” Today is officially Gyaos Day.

“This is amaaazing!”

When Dirk ate the Indescribable Indescribable Buffalo steak, beams of light shot out of his eyes and mouth, creating a hole in the wall. It seemed the strength of the laser beams varied depending on the eater’s abilities. Clearly, precautions are needed here... What even is this?!

Now that I think about it, making holes in walls just by eating food isn’t normal, right?!

Could it be like those temporary parameter boosts from meals? Pondering the mysteries of cooking, we finished eating, took a bath, and entered our relaxing snuggle time.

“By the way, today's meal came from the hunt I did with Geraldin-san and the others.”

“Is that so?”

Dirk’s fluffiness is so soothing. Ah, happiness. Stroking his chin, I continued chatting.

“We made the Dungeon Master summon the ingredients we wanted in an Extra Dungeon and hunted them down relentlessly.”

“I... see.”

I thought I heard him say, “Typical Rosarin, so outrageous,” but it must have been my imagination!

“Today’s prey gave us... quite a bit of trouble.”

“... Really?”

He sounded concerned, as if thinking, “What kind of monster could possibly trouble Rosarin and her team?” But surely, that was just my imagination too!

“So, uh, the prey caused a little—well, maybe a big—commotion.”

“... What kind of commotion?”

I think I heard Dirk say, “I have a bad feeling about this.” Must be my imagination again!

“It turns out there’s been an incident where surveillance-targeted, unkillable monsters have been disappearing one after another.”

“... The culprit is the Dungeon Master.”

“Correct! But, uh, it didn’t end there.”

I thought I heard him groan, “This is getting worse…” Surely, just my imagination!

“The Guildmaster found out that we’ve been hunting the missing monsters and said I’m being promoted to a never-before-seen guild rank.”

“... The mystery is solved.”

Dirk sounded like a detective solving a case.

“Huh? What mystery?”

“The Guildmaster had sent a meeting request for you. I ignored it.”

“Wait, what?”

“I figured it was about some annoying request tied to your promotion, so I pretended not to notice. But I guess that explains it. Congratulations, Rosarin.”

Dirk smiled warmly at me, radiating soothing energy. His pure-hearted congratulations were truly heartwarming!

“But I don’t want an unprecedented new rank! All I want is the title ‘Dirk’s Wife!’”

“Ah, Rosarin, so humble despite your incredible abilities and achievements.”

Dirk blushed. My darling is too adorable! Not that I’m modest—it’s just that weird titles aren’t my thing.

Dirk began patting my head, soothing my sulky, pouty self. Okay, okay, I guess this is enough to cheer me up. Maybe.

But then—his loving, gentle smile paired with the ultimate head-pat combo!?

It’s super effective!

“Mmm, I love you, Dirk…”

Yep, I’m utterly head-over-heels for him.

“Rosarin, you’re too cute…”

“Who cares about a new rank... I mean, no! I do care, but… I should just focus on enjoying my happiness right now!”

Rosarin-the-easy-for-Dirk mode was fully activated. But can you blame me? Nothing else matters in the face of my happiness named Dirk!

Dirk gently eased my grumpiness away. I decided that if Geraldin-san was included in the promotion deal, it’d be fine. Let’s get Dirk promoted too! With the two of us taking down big game together, it should be a piece of cake!

And so, our fluffy, lovey-dovey night passed in bliss.

----------

A lovely dress and a girls’ gathering.
Various problems arose, but the wedding preparations are steadily progressing. Pampered by my wonderful husband-to-be, Dirk, I’m in a great mood again today.

While gracefully enjoying lunchtime at school, my brother spoke to me.

"Kaasama said, ‘Rosarin, dear, the dress design proposals are ready, so come take a look.’"

"Understood. Niisama, you’re really good at imitating Kaasama’s voice."

"Really? Oh, by the way, I did an impression of you the other day, and it was a hit!"

"What are you doing!? What did you imitate!?"

"Rosariiiin!!"

A loud, resonant voice echoed, freezing everyone in place. It was uncanny—absolutely identical. However, however...

"That’s the Valkyrie! But wow, Niisama, your voice impressions are incredible!"

"Well, Rosarin and the Valkyrie are more or less the same, right? At least by Wolfanea’s standards."

"You cannot use Wolfanea’s standards! That’s far too arbitrary!"

"… Curtis looks like he’s about to laugh himself into suffocation, so maybe we should stop… pfft."

Even Alphage-sama couldn’t hold back his laughter. Indeed, Curtis, Adeil, and Hugh had passed the point of laughter and were twitching. Former assassins are surprisingly quick to crack up.

"Yeah, dude, Curtis might die laughing… gahaha!"

"Should I just let him die laughing?"

Annoyed, I used my hand claw on him.

"Ow, ow, ow! Stop the violence, dude!"

"Rosarin, I’m sorry! I’ll apologize, so please forgive me!"

Seeing Lavita desperate, I decided to let it go. The hand claw wouldn’t faze Rinka anyway (probably).

"Speaking of Rosarin’s mother… isn’t she also the designer for Butterfly Rose?"

"Huh!? That Butterfly Rose!? The brand famous for its elegant and delicate designs, like corset-free dresses!?"

Miss Leticia latched onto Milfi’s comment. To be precise, Butterfly Rose is a brand shared between Miss Butterfly, my mother, and me. Lately, I’ve been busy, so the main contributors are Miss Butterfly and my mother. Oh, but I developed the corset-free dress because I wanted one myself. The design was a joint effort between my mother and me, and Miss Butterfly handled the creation.

Miss Leticia eagerly requested to see the designs, so I agreed. Rinka and Milfi decided to tag along as well.

After school, when we arrived at my family home, Martha guided us to the parlor. When the door opened…

"I’ve been waiting for you, young ladies!!"

"Pfft!?"

I was welcomed by a thick, muscular chest. My nose hurts. This feels like harassment every single time.

"Rosarin, I’ve been waiting for you.”

My mother said with a soft smile. Come to think of it, she was never fazed by Miss Butterfly’s antics from the beginning.

"Th-this is outrageous! A man—or perhaps a woman!? Whatever the case, stay away from Miss Rosarin!"

Miss Leticia stepped in to protect me. So kind!

"It’s fine. Miss Butterfly is a friend of both Rosarin and us."

"Yeah, that’s right. Looks like an old man on the outside, but inside, it’s something girly."

"Oh, stop it! I’m a dainty maiden at heart, okay? Oh, Rinka-chan, you’re so mean!"

Miss Butterfly began slapping Rinka’s back energetically.

"Gah!? Please stop; you’re too strong!"

"Miss Butterfly, you can’t call yourself a maiden when you’ve got a wife and kids. You’re more like… a category of your own: Miss Butterfly."

"Exactly!"

"Oh, come on! Both Rosarin-chan and Rinka-chan are so mean!"

Miss Butterfly pouted and twisted her body in exaggerated frustration, leaving Miss Leticia utterly stunned. The impression Miss Butterfly leaves is definitely overwhelming.

---

"Now, now, shall we take a look at the design proposals?"

Mother suggested with a giggle.

The designs my mother presented were all lovely. My heart danced at the sight of the colorful dresses.

"They’re all so pretty… Oh, I like this one."

I picked up a design for a pure white, elegant dress.

"As expected, Rosarin-chan chose white."

"Yes. In Rin’s world, weddings are typically associated with white."

The design I chose featured delicate white lace and included a Maria veil. It felt perfect.

"How lovely… I hope to someday…"

"I absolutely want to wear a Butterfly Rose dress for my wedding with Cidar-kun!"

"I want to marry Lavita-kun in one of these dresses too…"

Miss Leticia, Milfi, and Rinka were all enraptured. It’s true—this is a dream for many young ladies.

"I think this design is really nice."

"I agree."

"But, I feel like it’s missing a little punch."

"I’m not looking for punch in a wedding dress."

However, Miss Butterfly gave an exaggerated sigh, as though it were obvious.

"You just don’t get it, Rosarin-chan."

"Huh?"

"I heard about the food for the wedding."

"...Y es."

This doesn’t bode well. I have nothing but a bad feeling about this.

"For the dress, I want to use materials that are unique to you, Rosarin-chan! But none of them feel quite right!"

"Materials, huh…"

While looking at Miss Butterfly, who was on all fours sobbing, I started thinking. Were there any beautiful materials made from armor that might work?

"We’ll try preparing a few here as well."

"I’m looking forward to it, Ojousama."

I smiled sweetly, evading a thrown kiss.

"”…………………"”

And so began a long and drawn-out exchange of thrown kisses from Miss Butterfly, which I expertly avoided.

"… What are they doing?"

"Hehe, Rosarin is playing around."

"Yeah, don’t worry about it."

Unaware of the conversation going on, I continued to play along with Miss Butterfly for a while.

"Your Kaasama, I, decided that for the second dress, I want one with a Wolfanea touch. The pattern will match Dirk-kun’s, a leopard print."

"You’re a genius, Mother!"

As for Miss Butterfly? There’s no way she could keep up with my stamina. He’s currently out of breath, completely wiped out.

"And then, there’s more…"

"Rosarin, I think this one would look perfect on you."

"With your nice body, Rosarin-chan, I’m sure you’ll pull this off!"

"This would look amazing on Miss Rosarin!"

"Kaasama, everyone, stop! How many dresses are you planning to make!?"

(About ten or so?)

Wait, what!? What are you saying!? That’s impossible!!

"I can’t wear that many! How many times do you plan to have me change!?"

(Eh?)

All the women in the room, plus Miss Butterfly, responded with a collective "Eh?"

"If you like the dresses, you can wear them to each of your weddings."

"This dress would be way too much for me!"

It’s true—the adult-sexy dress would be too much for Rinka...

"No… if you give up, then the game is over."

"Azarin-sensei… I want to have a nice body… I want a nice body!"

"... Well, then go ahead and have it kneaded."

"Got it!!"

The next day, it’s needless to say that I received a complaint from a very red-faced Lavita. When I asked him if he had been served a “prepared meal,” I got yelled at even more.

I was curious, so I checked with Rinka. Apparently, the prepared meal had been tasted. When Lavita found out that I had asked Rinka about it, he was angry again. I just couldn’t help myself—I had to know! It’s so frustrating!

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