Early Bird: With Silver Bells, Ch. 01
Added 2021-01-11 02:36:57 +0000 UTCUpdate: Uploaded a final version, which has been tinkered with a bit in places regarding Snatch's characterization and a few other tweaks here and there. Nothing huge, but I thought I'd alert you all in case anyone's interested in seeing the difference!
A story in which Larya and Alrek decide to part ways as they arrive at a Mountain Folk village during the Solstice celebrations.
Hello, my lovelies! This story is set sometime after Wicked Amusement and the Bimbo Ballet, but long before Nurse Poppy and Sea Slimes. The first chapter is pretty smutless, but it gets hornier, I promise. Succubi, imps, goblin maids, dopterines and more besides!
I'll be posting a longer retrospective when this series is complete, but... yeah, this story has been a long time in the works. Note that I'm posting an early version, which might see changes in time. In particular, things I'm trying to work out before I post this to Literotica:
- Would the first chapter benefit from inserting a little more action? I don't like posting anything to Literotica that doesn't have at least one sex scene, especially something this involved.
- Do the emotional beats connect?
I'd welcome your feedback! Thanks so much for reading, and for your support, as always!
Comments
Thank you! I really appreciate the feedback!
Lorelei
2021-01-12 21:40:02 +0000 UTCThe first chapter is great without action. It’s nice to see familiar characters in non-sexy scenes and let’s their personalities bloom even more. If you’re worried about literotica, just start it w/ a quick blurb letting people know ch1 is all plot/set-up and they should check out your other stories if they want something more quick and arousing. Established fans will definitely read it even without smut, and new people know ahead of time.
Selestrilia
2021-01-12 16:28:13 +0000 UTCI have both longed for and lived in terror of this moment.
Sothe Dain
2021-01-11 20:36:36 +0000 UTCThank you! I'll think about this. It was very hard to write Alrek in a way that captured his moodiness without making him overtly abusive—this wasn't a case where that felt appropriate, especially since he's saying goodbye to Larya here and being a complete asshole would be inappropriate. It's a really difficult balance for me, and I struggled a lot this chapter.
Lorelei
2021-01-11 03:25:54 +0000 UTCFirst off, I don't think more action is needed. I might be quite biased in that regard, though, so don't take that as representative of most people's. For the most part, all of the emotional beats connected, but some of the dialogue (particularly Alrek's) felt a little bit off to me, in places. He wasn't nearly as gruff as I'm used to seeing him, and I compared to both Wicked Amusement and Sea Slimes alike, to make sure it wasn't a development bit that I'd missed. I have other thoughts on the way certain things are phrased in it ( the repetition of adventurer in one section felt odd to me), but I didn't want to overload you with feedback on stuff that you weren't looking for. Either way, take my comments with a grain of salt. I really enjoyed the chapter, and the developments within!
acroPhobia
2021-01-11 03:22:28 +0000 UTC
