Chapter 5, Page 23...
Added 2021-01-29 23:09:19 +0000 UTC...Only two pages to go!
The first line of dialogue I carried over from the previous page. I think it works better here. Already edited the previous page, so that's all set to go!
I might need to put in a third page, but I may be overthinking it. I have everything sketched out and I'm very happy with it, but there's a bit of business that I'd like to include that wasn't in the original script. We shall see, Either way, it's gonna be fun!
Have a great weekend everyone!
Comments
I'm not sure there is that much of a difference between both... at least, from Meg's point of view....
PulpFiction
2021-02-02 13:16:01 +0000 UTCIt definitely needs something. I’m thinking a page of close ups as everyone enjoys the closeout of the game. I’d originally wanted a conversation between Ellie and Val, but it’s too soon. Thanks for the constructive feedback! Will work on it!🎸🎶
Stereoscope Comics
2021-02-01 14:16:21 +0000 UTCIs Don, Is Good!
Henri Black
2021-02-01 11:22:42 +0000 UTCI have a bit of a critique. The transition from "game night" to "walking Meg home?" feels jarring. If you added a page just before this one that shows everyone leaving and has a panel (or some dialogue) explaining how the two of them ended up on a sidewalk it would really smooth the transition between environments. As it is, I had to scroll back in the feed to make sure I didn't miss a page. You could even put an interaction between Ellie and Val on the extra page. Maybe Val being last one out the door and giving Ellie a thumbs up or something.
JerryChops
2021-02-01 02:31:25 +0000 UTCIndeed! Val is going to require an entirely different approach. Heh hey...so many different types of subs and dons to explore! 🎉
Stereoscope Comics
2021-01-31 18:04:03 +0000 UTCGive and gauntlet! 😂 I completely forgot about that scene.
DuskStealth
2021-01-31 18:03:44 +0000 UTCHmmm... and now you’ve given me an interesting idea... *scribble scribble*
Stereoscope Comics
2021-01-31 18:01:53 +0000 UTCThanks for saying so! It’s easy to get wrapped up in what I’m doing that sometimes I forget and hope I’m not just boring everyone. Also I’m slow, but I’m getting faster!
Stereoscope Comics
2021-01-31 18:00:32 +0000 UTCShe’s certainly asking for it! :)
Stereoscope Comics
2021-01-31 17:59:21 +0000 UTCAnd of course this scene popped in my head! https://youtu.be/jlZcmrAJG3g
Stereoscope Comics
2021-01-31 17:58:20 +0000 UTCAnd I can’t wait to get to it! Got a few more plot points to spill and we’re off to the races!
Stereoscope Comics
2021-01-31 17:56:26 +0000 UTCOh Ellie I have a feeling you're going to regret that. Not very much of course but still I think Meg is playing you like a fiddle :)
Michael
2021-01-30 21:47:40 +0000 UTCRight up until Sam gets involved lol.
Henri Black
2021-01-30 21:22:05 +0000 UTC*haha!* Ellie is vastly underestimating who she's talking too. No, I could only see Val overpowering and/or out-maneuvering Meg mentally. And only because miss icy-stare has an incredible sense of pre-planning and control.
Jordan Andrew Scherr
2021-01-30 19:04:17 +0000 UTCI hope Ellie is not all talk. I wouldn't mind some mental combat.
Fenix
2021-01-30 14:40:58 +0000 UTCOoh, Ellie's going to be a bratty sub... She's probably lucky she said "Not gonna happen" and not "Make me..."
PsyGremlin
2021-01-30 10:37:21 +0000 UTCI like how Meg props up El in the last panel, she'll just break harder when the realization comes. Very human on both of their parts
Retromancer
2021-01-30 07:29:53 +0000 UTC"Don't get the wrong idea!" You're not fooling anyone sweetheart.
Death of Ink
2021-01-30 02:11:10 +0000 UTCConsidering that game night happened at Ellie’s, is she walking Meg home/to the car or why are they outside? (I’d like Ellie doing something that’s considered butch, like walking their friend home).
CJ
2021-01-30 02:01:40 +0000 UTCAh yes ch 6 I believe it will either start or finish where the story began
Rick
2021-01-30 00:53:56 +0000 UTCOf course it's going to be fun. The whole series is.
the_iceman
2021-01-30 00:32:53 +0000 UTCEl is such a brat! She's going to enjoy her punishment!
PulpFiction
2021-01-30 00:06:08 +0000 UTCThe glove has been thrown! The gauntlet is upon us!
DuskStealth
2021-01-30 00:05:10 +0000 UTCI love the deceptive simplicity of your work and the very human qualities you consistently assign to the individual characters. I look forward with great anticipation to the gradual unfolding of this intriguing plot.
Ralph Fairhead
2021-01-30 00:01:02 +0000 UTCLove the chemistry between these two.
Brad Kitts
2021-01-29 23:22:58 +0000 UTCThe game's afoot!
Fritz Sands
2021-01-29 23:18:30 +0000 UTCAwww they're so cute
VDBEULLE
2021-01-29 23:11:47 +0000 UTChahaha, I love the back and forth here.
kou32
2021-01-29 23:10:57 +0000 UTC
