Chaldea and Staff: Difficulties of Friendship (246)

Everyone knew that Chaldea would become home to Servants – powerful and sometimes terrifying Heroes, and villains, from human history and mythology. Even when Chaldea was nothing more than an extremely ambitious plan of Marisbury Animusphere, Olga-Marie's father, such a thing was already known.

Therefore, it would be strange to complain that the strangest of Servants unexpectedly gathered in Chaldea – it was, in fact, completely expected. What was unexpected was how imperceptibly Chaldea became home to these very Servants.

Looking at the girl running down the corridors with a huge childish smile on her face, it was difficult to think that the little girl was in fact Jack the Ripper. The codifier for all serial killers, the one that most are compared to, a synonym for secrets, riddles and human cruelty. And yet right now this supposed serial killer was running down the corridor of Chaldea, brimming with a childish laughter that was completely at odds with what anyone would think a serial killer should sound, or look like. 

Especially not one as infamous as ‘Jack the Ripper’.

On the other hand, the huge mass of muscles moving behind her, exuding pure animal rage and cruelty, is unmistakable as a Servant, or a monster, which, in essence, were not so different labels from each other. The horned creature seemed like a monster chasing a defenseless child with a wild roar – it was the farthest thing from the truth. 

Moreover, judging by the figure sitting on Asterios' shoulders, Nursery Rhyme, Alisa, the nameless book god, Asterios did not pose a threat to the retreating agile figure of the Assassin at all. They were, in fact, just playing, like all children oft do.

Which was confirmed by Alice's ringing childish laughter, the sound bouncing every time Asterios, with his huge steps, chased after Jackie's elusive figure. 

"Catch her Asterios! No, she’s dodging! More to the left, to the left!"

After such happy and slightly frantic shouts, Asterios responded with a rumbling roar. With some effort, one could distinguish a contented, albeit not very articulate, hum of a child participating in the simplest and most childish fun of all and accelerated even a little more strongly. Of course, every time Asterios’ charges missed, he left huge dents on the walls and floors of Chaldea, making the activity look dangerous at all. 

Their minders, Altera, following behind them like an invisible shadow, did not chastise the playing children. Even as each time Asterios’ grasping paw missed, another huge impact would sound, and a huge dent that would need fixing appeared. It was just children playing after all, as Jackie dodged Asterios' clenching paw at the last moment, to her own ringing laughter and Asterios' hum, both annoyed and delighted by such an expected turn of events.

Altera, as socially inept as she was, knows full well what children look like when they are just playing.

That’s why she was not trailing behind them to make sure that the ‘children’ were not injured, though just in case she is carrying a first aid kit, but for the sake of the other humans that still live in Chaldea. What might just be a small tap for the Servants, would be a catastrophic event for a normal human.

They might just burst like an overripe watermelon.

After the budding schism between Cainabel and Baal subsided, a devastating event that was solved by Ainz with a single conversation, Cainabel no longer needed Altera as another card in her deck to show off to Ainz. And so Altera found herself with a lot of free time, with a lot more holes in her schedule than expected.

But, despite Altera's initial thoughts, even though Cainabel no longer required her, Cainabel still did not decide to get rid of Altera and send her away. Despite her very vocal displeasure at having to interact with Altera, Cainabel continued to keep her on her side, as if she did not even allow the thought of sending Altera away enter her mind.

Which did not make sense in her opinion.

From a rational point of view, for Cainabel to continue her relationship with Altera, but Cainabel continued to do so. On the other hand, thanks to her past interactions with Cainabel, Altera had already learned not to ask questions from her mistress, who was quick to punish. Therefore, if there was some complex motivation behind Cainabel’s actions, Altera was definitely not privy to it. 

And she was not in a hurry to correct this fact.

With so much free time, Altera, as much as she could categorize such an event, took up a hobby. That is, observing those Servants of Chaldea that could be categorized as most closely matching the definition of ‘children’.

Not in any strange way, or deviant – she just… Liked watching children.

Altera was not human, of course, she was not a soulless automaton or robot either; she was capable of feeling emotions and behaving according to her own will, asking questions and making independent decisions. And she was absolutely not devoid of basic knowledge about emotions or human society. 

But she was not human. 

Even if she could experience emotions, Altera did not think that she experienced them like humans do. And even if this was not the case, Altera had difficulty correctly recognizing her own emotions and perceiving them, assimilating them, or translating them into reality.

That was why she had gone out of her way to observe children.

Children seemed to Altera to be her complete opposite, with how easily and selflessly they could experience emotions from the simplest events. Things such as meaningless children's games, where Altera could absolutely find no reason why they should be expressing such wild joy from quite the nonsensical events. At the same time, Altera saw in them some similarity to herself, as children often faced emotional problems more complex than their mind could fully analyze.

However, unlike Altera, who was simply confused when faced with a similar conundrum, and forced herself to try to analyze it – children simply ignored it. Moreover, they did not completely stop paying attention to it, but instead conducted a complex introspective analysis unconsciously and then came up with an actionable decision. 

And it was this ability that aroused Altera's interest and even a semblance of admiration… 

To put it more simply – ‘how can they be so carefree, even knowing that they have no reason for it?’.

Therefore, Altera followed the children, observing the children as they endlessly raced each other, a game without winners or losers, trying to understand the complex emotion evoked in her. In some sense – it was joy, in some sense, sadness, a little anger and sorrow.

“It is Envy. The feeling you’re feeling is envy.” The conclusion seemed so seamless to Altera, so true, that it took her a good three seconds to realize that it was not her own voice that spoke up.

"This feeling that you are experiencing… It's envy. Envy of those who do not need to seriously think about their own emotions and are able to simply experience them, without any questions."

Altera turned her gaze to the side, to the one that had spoken, Alice – the nameless book god. She spoke tonelessly, not expressing any emotion on her face. It was a stark contrast to the Alice sitting on Asterios’ shoulder, joyfully waving her hands and laughing as she attempted to direct her ‘steed’ forward. 

The contrast between the two Alices was so stark that it bypassed one’s need to question why there are two of them, because they are in fact the same being, if starkly different in dispositions. 

"My copy," Alice replied without delving into the metaphysics of her own abilities after following Altera's glance answering her unasked question, to which Altera simply nodded in acceptance. It would be stranger if the nameless book god could not create a simulacrum separate from her if necessary.

Altera looked up at Alice, and she nodded, as if acknowledging the correctness of Altera's unspoken question. "My situation is somewhat more complicated and simpler than yours. My original essence is similar to yours – I have knowledge within me, but there is no… Humanity, perhaps, is the correct word. Therefore, to be counted as a Servant, my original essence comes into contact with the mind and soul of my Master. Well, with Ainz… You could see what had happened."

Altera instantly understood what Alice was talking about and nodded to her own thoughts. Indeed, if the Master was Ainz, then there was nothing strange about the fact that Alice's original plan failed. Altera was not sure if it was even possible to come into contact with Ainz's mind and soul, and moreover, if it was actually possible – whether it was a good idea. 

In any case, Alice failed to do it, because of which she was stuck in a strange position where she was simultaneously a nameless god, and Alice, who embodied a human principle. In this case, Alice could simultaneously experience emotions like people, children especially, and was also like Altera, who is unable to understand emotions.

She was in the perfect position to help Altera ‘bridge the gap’ so to speak.

"I see," Altera responded with a nod, then returned to watching the children, who had already managed to disappear around the corner of Chaldea's corridor. Not that they’re missable in any way, given that neither Asterios' blows nor Jack's laughter were quiet in any way.

What else could Altera say or do? The fact that Altera was able to understand, and even analyze, the emotions she experienced and come to the conclusion that Alice was right – that she was feeling envy… What about it?

It did not reveal an unexpected truth about herself that she did not know, and it did not make her world turn upside down in some incredible way. It did not even change her future plans… For now.

Just because she was not planning on changing tracks, does not preclude the possibility that it can’t change in the future. 

"Will you continue to just observe them?" Alice asked, tilting her head slightly to the side, observing Altera herself, who only quietly nodded at her question. "It's pointless."

Altera thought about it for a moment before shaking her head slightly. "I like to see them happy."

"But you still feel envious, and will continue to do so." Alice looked at Altera, making her nod in response. As far as she knew, conflicting emotions were absolutely normal for people. "Don't you want to participate in their games? Maybe you’ll stop being envious if you join in."

"Definitely not in children's games," Altera replied calmly. There was a certain difference between watching, even envying childish spontaneity, and trying to participate in it.

"Why?" Alice's question was as simple as it was unexpected, making Altera hesitate for a moment with her answer before answering, a little less confidently than Altera herself had expected. 

"I'm an adult."

"So what?" Alice's answer again drove a strange thought into Altera's mind, as if Altera herself had never considered this question from this angle. "It might be strange if you were doing it constantly, but giving up your childhood in order to appear like an adult is the most childish of all possible behaviors. Certainly not something that an adult would do."

Altera thought about it for a moment before imagining herself as a chaser, or vice versa, as the one running away, before shaking her head. Altera could not lie and say that such a picture did not evoke any feelings in her at all. However, the joy that she could get as a result of such behavior definitely did not outweigh the feeling of shame that she would experience from acting like a child. Especially as a grown woman like her.

Therefore, Altera shook her head again.

"Then why don't you do something else that you like?" Alice looked at Altera with a curious tilt of her head, forcing Altera, after a moment of reflection, to answer calmly. 

"I'm already doing exactly that."

"No, I mean something that you like and that doesn't make you feel envious, something other than watching other people having fun." Altera fell silent, imagining a set of activities that she could perform, before coming to the conclusion that such a thought process could potentially go on indefinitely. There were an incredible number of things that Altera could theoretically do at the moment.

And so she decided to add a few parameters to her search. Such as ‘activities that she could do at the moment that she would like and that were not observing people’, additionally, it also had to be ‘valuable or potentially enjoyable enough to make Altera go and perform them’… Of her own free will.

After that, the list of possible activities thinned out so much that it could be said that there were none. Out of hundreds of options in Altera's mind, none met all the conditions she had set…

Except one.

The thought suddenly made Altera blink and look at Alice, not to see if Alice was still looking at her, rather, more in a desire to see herself reflected in her eyes.

"I suppose you found one?" Alice looked at Altera and found that the warrior was sporting quite the queer expression. "Is something wrong?"

Altera replied after a few moments of doubt, somewhat uncertainly. "Yes, I have found one..."

"Is there something wrong about it that you are hesitating?" Alice asked more insistently, looking at Altera, who, after a few more seconds of silence, replied slowly. 

"It is… Not the option I was considering until now."

"But would you think that you’ll find it interesting to you?" Alice raised one eyebrow up.

"Apparently so…?” Altera answered, not so confidently, before turning away, giving Alice one last, slightly delayed and distracted nod. 

"I guess… In that case… I should check this option next…”

Alice would probably be never able to guess what it is that Altera was planning to do, she would have been very shocked.

***

"What?" In her long, almost endless, life, thanks to being one of the firstborn goddesses, Cainabel had encountered many shocking things – things including her own death and defeat. But what is happening before her eyes made her wonder if Ainz had decided to distort the information perceived by her senses for his own terrifying purposes. 

"Say that again."

"I want to spend my free time with you." Altera repeated the words she had spoken a little earlier, as she stood on the doorway of Cainabel’s room.

Cainabel experimentally raised her hand and put it to her forehead, as if trying to determine if she had been suddenly struck by an attack of some incredible disease that could invade even a divine undead. She was checking her temperature, as that is how one is supposed to check for diseases… At least as far as she knows, she never needed to before. 

And, finding no obvious symptoms of it, lowered it back down. But then, why is Altera still saying nonsense? 

"Again."

Altera continued looking at Cainabel with a serious expression on her face as she said something unfathomably inconceivable. "I want to spend time with you," 

Altera obediently repeated her words once again, and then, after thinking for a moment, added something else, an explanation, "It would be interesting for me."

In her long life Cainabel knew many creatures, some intelligent, some, not so much – creatures powerful, insignificant, evil, or good, she had ruled over an entire court of subordinate vampires. But never, absolutely never in her entire life in every timeline that only her mind could imagine, had Cainabel heard such inconceivable words.

Especially coming from one of her underlings.

Of course, she had underlings for as long as she could remember, her lieutenants and lackeys, lower-level servants, the category that Altera herself fell into – but the relationship with them was, if it was possible to say so, only work-related. They obeyed Cainabel’s orders, and for this Cainabel graciously allowed them to carry out her orders, and did not even kill them if they did not anger her too much. As long as they did not make too many mistakes in their work, and she was not in a bad mood… They’ll get to see another sunrise.

In general, most of Cainabel’s servants survived solely due to their irreplaceable value, or thanks to their luck. Working conditions which, understandably, did not increase the number of people who wanted to spend time with her. Her subordinates were exactly that, her subordinates – carrying out her orders and unquestioningly obeying her will. 

Even in the most perverted interpretation of the word, Cainabel could not call them her friends or people with whom she would like to spend her time.

So hearing Altera's speak of such things was insane. 

So insane that Cainabel could only react in one way to them, "Fine, come in."

Cainabel could not explain her reaction to Altera's words in any other way than a sudden bout of all-encompassing insanity that made her entertain the thought of actually trying to spend time with Altera. For all her greatness and intellect, she simply did not know what exactly she should do at the moment when someone decided to spend time with her.

Baal, the bastard, would probably laugh at her if he learns of this. Which is the reason why Altera was immediately ushered inside her room, so that no one else could hear the insanity… Shit, Cainabel had made Altera say it three times, hopefully no one overheard.

Altera entered the room, then looked around it before looking back at Cainabel, with the same placid expression on her face, expressing no humor. 

"It's much less decorated in a gothic fashion here than I imagined from the outside."

The interior of Cainabel’s room was hardly different from all the other standard rooms in Chaldea allocated for the use of Servants. Except for the collection of black dresses made of expensive fabrics currently hanging in the closet, and a small book bound in black leather, cut with pulsating red occult symbols, lying on the table. Those two things are the sole distinguishing factor, differentiating this room from any other, and at least hinted a little at Cainabel’s nature.

"I don't like the color black. I don't like sunlight either, but in my former castle there was simply no way to use anything else to create a different color. These clothes are my clothes as a Servant, and it has reminded me of my nature and past. Actually, I like bright colors, yellow and green, and sometimes blue. Although I can't say I don't like the color of blood – I'm still a vampire, after all," Cainabel replied in such detail to the question just because she didn't understand what else she could do in such insane conditions, before focusing again on Altera. She needs to get to the bottom of the madness, and to see if it is contagious. 

"Why did you come here?"

"I want to spend free time with you… Have I not said it before?" Altera obediently repeated the words again, for who knows how many times recently, but Cainabel only waved her hands, as if trying to dispel the thickening clouds of confusion in front of her. 

"No, no, not about that… Why with me specifically?"

Despite what one might think looking at Cainabel, who reveled in her power and any authority granted to her, no matter how small, Cainabel was not blind to her own personality traits and shortcomings. She was well aware that not many people would want to spend their free time with her.

Perhaps Cainabel hadn't killed anyone recently in Chaldea – she was forbidden to do so by Ainz's orders, and killing nearly endlessly resurrecting Servants was a rather futile endeavor anyway. After all, the fear of death was only effective if the person experiencing it could face a real and final death. 

However, excluding death, Cainabel had not been stingy with physical violence, insults, and showing everyone in every possible way the lowest degree of her power that still infinitely surpassed Altera in all her endeavors. Altera, being her sole subordinate, for now, has been facing the full bore of her abuse… And yet, Altera had come to her to spend time with her.

There could only be one possibility, one reason why she would be doing this

"Altera, are you a masochist?" Without waiting for a response from the girl, Cainabel asked without even meaning an insult or to ridicule the Servant. But rather sincerely trying to understand why the Servant standing in front of her was so defective that she wanted to spend time with Cainabel.

It is the only reason why she would be doing this.

Altera, closing the door behind her, seriously pondered Cainabel's question, as if she was calculating unknown graphs in her mind, before answering in a measured tone. 

"To get an unambiguous answer to this question, I would need to conduct many experiments, but at the moment I can say that I do not consider myself as such. I derive no particular pleasure from pain, I think."

"Then why? Why me?" Cainabel raised one eyebrow, then, coming to the conclusion that her current facial expression did not fully express her surprise, raised the second eyebrow and her hands, pointing at herself with her palms. As if trying to remind Altera who exactly Cainabel meant when pronouncing the word ‘me’.

"We've spent a lot of time together before," Altera replied quite logically, but that wasn't enough of an answer for Cainabel. 

"And during most of that time I was insulting you or subjecting you to physical violence. Are you sure you're not a masochist?"

Really, more and more, as Altera spoke, the probability that she is actually a masochist only increases – more so when she begins speaking again. "But you didn't kill me?"

"That doesn't sound like a healthy perception of the situation!" Cainabel said automatically, then, realizing the absurdity of the situation, snorted loudly. 

"Listen to me! Me! I'm talking about unhealthy situations! If Ainz was here, his head would burst from the laughter!"

Not pointing out the physical improbability of such an event, Altera instead pondered her intention for a moment. 

Indeed, strictly speaking, why?

Alice had an understanding of the situation with Altera and could even experience the same emotions as her, so she might understand her choice. 

In terms of evoking emotions, Chaldea was overflowing with such Servants; the first that came to Altera's mind was perhaps Nero. And if the criteria were Servants she was interested in, Servants that share some of her characteristics ; Karna, who possessed incredible strength, and Medea, who had an incredible mind, would be the first on the possible list of people to whom, according to logic, Altera could turn.

However, even Altera understood perfectly well that logic and emotions did not always go hand in hand. "You are the closest to me."

"H-huh?" Cainabel, forgetting any attempt to maintain diplomatic etiquette, cleared her throat, as she was so greatly shocked, it was like she had just been punched. "Excuse me?"

"I have no one closer to me than you," Altera replied calmly and completely truthfully.

In response to these words, Cainabel looked at Altera as if she was looking at some kind of strange creature. "I have repeatedly said that all our communication consisted of insults, orders, and violence…"

"Yes," Altera nodded, confirming the truth of the girl's words before glancing at her again, "It does not negate the truth of my fact."

Cainabel, looking at Altera, blinked as if trying to come up with an insult appropriate to the current situation before a guess illuminated her mind, "You have no friends?"

At these words, Altera pondered about it for a moment, before answering Cainabel. "You are the closest to the state of a friend."

After these words, Cainabel looked at Altera and blinked in confusion once more, "Do you know what friends are?"

Altera, knowing the technically correct and accurate definition, was forced to ponder under Cainabel’s scrutinizing gaze and answer her uncertainly. "Those with whom you spend a lot of time with?"

"That’s… One of the definitions, yes…" Cainabel agreed with Altera's words, allowing her to continue a little more confidently. "A person you talk frequently with? A person you fight besides? Who gets into trouble for you?"

"Yes, yes, yes…" Cainabel was forced to nod at each word of Altera, realizing time after time how simultaneously correct and incorrect Altera's understanding of friends was, before looking at her. 

"So… Who do you have such a relationship with?"

Altera was about to speak, before she was stopped by Cainabel.

"Besides me, that is!" Cainabel instantly made an important clarification, forcing Altera to ponder, then look up at her in confusion, which in turn made Cainabel sigh. "Oh, you unfortunate child..."

After these words, Cainabel fell silent, pondering the conclusion that followed from Altera's words, but Altera herself asked a critical question, for her that is. "So… You do not want to spend time with me?"

Cainabel raised her eyes to Altera, then bit her lip.

Cainabel had no friends – and, in general, she never considered that she needed them. In itself, this is a stupid idea, friends of the primordial goddess, what nonsense…

On the other hand, looking now at Altera, in whose mind the machine intelligence of a perfect combat unit was combined with childish hapless spontaneity, Cainabel…

She could have killed Altera, and any Servant in the form of a child like Jack — if she had met them in battle, she would not have had any doubts, not even for a moment. Any enemy was for her, first of all, an enemy. 

She destroyed heroes, massacred people; in the end, her original plan, if she had succeeded, was to become a World Enemy, a danger to the entire world, a horror for all living things… 

"No, I want to," But even so, Cainabel simply could not say no to Altera.

So, exhaling slowly and looking around, she pointed to the free bed, then sat down on the chair next to it, "Okay, okay… I suppose we could start with… talking?"

After a moment, Altera smiled a little at these words, and Cainabel could only swear and turn around in place, as she didn’t want to look at her expression. It would only confuse her more. Instead, she focused her eyes at the kettle standing not far from her bedside table… Is she really planning to make refreshments for a guest!?

Although, perhaps, given how insane the world around her turned out to be, in which Cainabel herself was mired in – she needed something stronger than tea.