Dick Superpowers

So I felt like doing something a little different this week. Don’t worry, we’re still going to get to the epilogue of Sexually Transmitted Fat, but I felt like a little break. So instead, I dreamt of various superpowers that a dick could have in real life.

Yeah, I’m weird.

Let’s do this like a poll: if you could have any one of these powers for your own penis (or that of your partners), which would it be? Post a reply with your choice!

Shooter

Most men are lucky to jizz a few inches. You jizz in feet. Your roof is covered in the dried remains of your loads. The back wall is similarly stained with your unconstrained cum. You mostly masturbate in the shower to make cleanup easier, and jizzing in someone’s mouth or ass cums with a disclaimer: you’re definitely going to feel a thump.

Grower

You might not look like much soft, but hard you’re a tower of power. The size to which your unit inflates is astounding to modern medical science. This makes it easy to get comfy in a tight thong, but also uncontrollable at the slightest hint of arousal. You’re packing a surprise, and everyone loves it.

Shower

You don’t get much bigger when you’re hard, but who cares? You’ve got a swinging club between your legs. You have an obvious bulge even at full softness. Wandering around in shorts has gotten you arrested twice for indecent exposure. Nobody can fail to notice your glorious package.

Big Load

When you cum, you CUM. We’re talking a load of such volume that it’s measured in cups rather than teaspoons. You need a bucket to jerk off into rather than a t-shirt. Towels aren’t enough to sop up your goopy messes, and when you jizz inside a guy’s ass it’s an instant enema. Your partners WILL get wet. 

Cum On Demand

While most loads are a complex interaction between brain chemistry and penis stimulation, with you, your orgasm only cums when you allow it. A simple flip of the internal switch turns off an impending orgasm as easy as breathing. Your orgasm happens exactly when you want it for maximum impact, and your partners love you for it. 

Can Go For Hours

It takes a lot for you to cum. Like, a lot. If you haven’t fucked that hole for 30 minutes you’re probably not even close to cumming. You average around 45 minutes to 1 hour per load, and while that can be frustrating at times, it makes each orgasm the most intense, earth-shattering experience for both you and your partner. If they even last that long. 

Multiple Orgasms

It doesn’t take much to get you to cum. To compensate, you developed the incredible ability to just keep going. Twice, thrice, even four orgasms back to back is child’s play for you. You have zero downtime, and sometimes partners don’t even realize you’ve already cum a dozen times. Your dick is insatiable and you’re always ready for more. 

Big Dick Energy

There’s no denying it: you’ve got a big dick. Maybe it’s really long, maybe it’s really thick, maybe it’s really heavy, or maybe it’s all three.  However you slice it, you’re packin’ some serious heat. This can be a good or a bad thing, depending on the hole you plan to conquer, but there’s no denying the raw, naked sex appeal of a Big Dick.

Low Hangers

Not strictly dick related, but balls are fun too. You’ve got big ones that hang low, wobble to and fro, and you can almost tie them in a knot (or a bow) They’re fun to play with, either for you or your partner, but often too big to fit in a single mouth. Sometimes, they’re even too big to fit in your pants. Your signature sound is the unmistakable delayed slap of your balls hitting a well-abused ass. 

Hard As Steel

You get hard, and you stay hard. And we’re not talking just hard enough to get the job done–we’re talkin’ hard as steel. Where a regular dick has a bit of give, yours is as unmoving as concrete. You can jack a car with your hardon, and it doesn’t go soft until well after the party is over. A very useful ability to pair with Multiple Orgasms.

Pre-Lubricant

You get wet easily. This might result in some messed undergarments, but at the cost of increased laundry frequency, you’ve wound up with a convenient sexual superpower: no need for lube. You produce enough pre-cum that a few seconds of your slippery drip is enough to get any hole slidey enough to slam home as if you went up to your arm in Boy Butter. This saves you money on lubricant but costs you more in laundry detergent. 

Permission To Dock

Foreskins are fun, but sometimes hard to find. Lucky for you, your dick sleeve is so big it’s got room for two. Maybe more, if you’re feeling extra stretchy. Soft, you’re like a wet sock hanging from your crotch, but who cares? You’re a safe harbor in stormy seas where any cock can enjoy the comforts of your spacious berth.