Advice for a guy who struck out on an approach

That is a very well written and insightful comment. I agree with you. Women are socially aware but we exaggerate their perceptiveness and insight and downplay men's ability. Very thought provoking, thank you for sharing.

Alexander Grace

I think we tend to overrate women's intuition. I hear it all the time that women are more intuitive, more perceptive, etc. I think it's part of this phenomenon of assuming that just because someone says something, or has a thought, that that's the only thought that they had. An alternative perspective: Women are fearful and often jump to negative conclusions. As you said, they have an abundance of social attention, so turning down something that doesn't feel perfect, for whatever reason, just isn't a big deal. So it's not that she's got some grand insight, she just wasn't in the right frame. And this is the burden that we have as men, that we have to manage the situation so that she gets in the mindset, and if she can see that we're doing this before her own feelings start moving in that direction, then she'll be skittish. She wants the illusion of choice and serendipity.. that it's her agency that made it happen, all the while not taking responsibility or the level of risk that the guy has to take. Where I'm coming from is that I'm very perceptive. I've had hundreds, likely thousands, of conversations with people where I've helped them dig through their emotions, and get insights into what's going on. Often within 10 minutes, I'll have someone with what seems like an unsolvable problem, sort through a few emotions, and feel relaxed and empowered. My point in telling you this is to demonstrate that I'm perceptive and know how to navigate people's emotions. I do this far better than most women, and I used to be surprised at how low women's emotional awareness tends to be.. It's often at about the same level as most men, in my opinion. They just take a lot more credit for whatever thoughts and feelings they have, with the sense that their thoughts and feelings are somehow deeper and more significant than those of men.