PATREON EXCLUSIVE: How To Have Casual Sex With A Clean Conscience When You Know She Wants Commitment

Let's put it this way. Do you want to play the role of satan in your life? Who is bad, the drug dealer or the junkie? Have you been a slave to something in your life? Then maybe you feel justified in tempting others. Let's just all get off our damn puritanical horse saying how wrong and evil it is to deal in false hopes when our entire culture of the west is just that. Coca Cola, it's not good for anybody, but it's consumed in massive quantities because people want a false hope. If a girl won't buy it from you, she will certainly buy it from some other guy who will break her and lie outright. The womens' comments here - let's stop pretending the general population (and perhaps the OPs here) are SO interested in preserving the goodness of others. Experience has taught most men how much that is bs. The games played on these boys as adolescents are enough to boil your blood for a decade. Let's get real.

Liam

I think that friends with benefits is very much paralel to friendzone.

DugSnaga

Great video and well-articulated perspective, thanks!

I see the connection, although I think "deficit" is a better term. "Debt" implies that something is owed, that it is yours by right, which falls dangerously close to the black pill, misogynistic incel stereotypes... women arent entitled to a man's possessions, time or attention, and men aren't entitled to a woman's body. I know there's no way to compare apples to oranges, but there are definitely parallels and toxic mindsets on both sides of the gender divide.

Margaret

It's all related to the "sex debt" concept that Alexander is alluding to in this video. If there wasn't a cohort of deprived men well then maybe they could wait for the right woman whose values would align with him in order to build something. We are very far from it though, most men just don't have any options and it depresses them or pushes them to look for casual relationships before considering anything more serious.

Hugo Matiz

David, you make an interesting point... access to sex, even with women he doesn't consider to be worthy of partnering with for life, 'frees a man up' to identify and pursue his higher purpose. Maslow referred to sexual reproduction as a physiological NEED on the same level as food, shelter, water and clothing. By that reasoning, 'leveling up' or advancing to new levels of security, growth, creativity and self-actualization are inhibited when a person has no access or option for sex.

Margaret

Person1 wants X-Y. Person2 wants X+Y. You are saying it’s ok to share X so long as the stance on Y is (mostly) clear. I mostly agree - people are accountable to themselves for ensuring their needs are fulfilled and the onus should be on them to walk away if not. That said, not everyone is strong enough to do that and can let fear of the unknown, insecurity, or other factors keep them from taking steps to change their situation. Short term scenarios seem more ok to me than longer time ones. There can become a point when a situation seems more like exploiting the weakness of another (I.e. their weakness in being able to walk away) And, II have to agree with Margaret above too - flip the script - because this doesn’t sound very different than a “friend zoning” scenario. And if you don’t think both scenarios are morally ok, I’d be curious to know why.

You can afford to be honest and therefore morally clean if you have abundance and options. How do you get abundance and options? Alexander would say by becoming a high quality men (HQM) as women more likely accept casual sex with those. What do you do until you get there? Stay honest and keep being rejected? I dont think that becoming a HQM directly leads to getting options. It is possible to become a very HQM and still suck with women. I have seen men like that. Instead I think those two feed into each other. Becoming better with women will help becoming a HQM and vice versa. I think of it as a cycle: At the beginning of his red pill journey a beta male should interact with low quality women and stay vague about his commitment in order to get sex. This frees him up to work on his life and become a better men which will at some point help to give him the abundance he needs in order to be able to be morally clean with women.

David Koerner

You make a lot of good points, but I always like to flip the script to see how I feel when the roles are reversed. A man continuing to have sex with a woman who has openly stated her desire for commitment is like a woman continuing to accept favors and gifts of time and money from a male friend who wants a romantic relationship. Yes you can claim to have a clean conscience by disclosing where you are and what you want, but we all know that people see and hear what they want to see and hear. If they want more than you are willing or able to give, the honorable thing to do (male or female) is to walk away and find partners who want the same thing you want.

Margaret