The science of branch swinging

I'm wondering if a woman is better off if the breakup comes as a surprise to the man. If he knows that she is thinking about breaking up with him, he may get more an more desperate to make sure does not leave. Mate guarding would make it harder for her to find an exit. Much easier if she is gone before he has a clue that she was looking to leave.

Michael Carleton

I think the tendency to have a new target man in mind when leaving a failing relationship might have more to do with how her friends will react to the announcement. She will get more support from her friends if she says that she is leaving Ted for David because..., then if she just says she is leaving Ted for no one. It reflects better on Ted this way too. Ted was just lacking something that Dave had rather than being so pathetic that she would rather be alone that continue with Ted. The other aspect is her safety. If she leaves Ted for David, David will be there to defend her if Ted does not take it well. If she leaves Ted for no one, who will be there if Ted decides to come after her?

Michael Carleton

One thing to mention is that no matter how discontent you feel in the relationship, you should always voice it out to your partner so that you both know where you are at and try to solve your own issues before thinking it's over and look outside. COMMUNICATE, don't hold these problems to you until they rot and destroy the relationship. Maybe there was nothing to do and breakup was inevitable, or maybe these obstacles that you thought were insurmountable could have actually be helped if the other partner was made aware of it and you two took the steps together to overcome them. Monkey branching could be avoided with greater communication and trust in problems solving within the relationship.

Hugo Matiz

Is it rooted more in SMV? Guys who have high SMV and are constantly in demand from lots of women have the ability to switch to someone they prefer more and may have several potential women to switch to maybe just because they want variety and are bored with their current relationship, no matter how hot she is. The most attractive women will clearly be able to play the same game and while she may prefer stability she may be willing to switch if her perception is that the new guy has advantages in provisioning, social elevation, or whatever. I think the reason it may be seen fundamentally as a woman's behavior is that women have inherently more choice in the mating market than men have. You've posted videos before showing how women have had multiple relationships while their boyfriend from 4 years ago has been unable to find a new girlfriend. So the behavior may not be rooted in psychological behavior of women but merely a factor attributable to the plethora of choice women have compared to men.

Norbert

This is one of those concepts that I understand conceptually but have never witnessed first hand with friends, family, or close co-workers. So, I understand the girls skepticism. Of the break-ups I’ve seen, it’s always been the guys who seemed to have a new girlfriend real soon after and some of the women I’ve known are still single to this day when their ex’s are coupled. That said, I’ve always intentionally kept my social circle small, so I know it’s a small sample size and not necessarily indicative of the broader population.

I’d say that irrespective of gender, the partner who contemplates breaking up more will be the one to suffer less... it’s just that women are built to do so oftener.

Oliver