Contrast - A nice email I just received from a woman :)
Added 2020-05-07 07:39:18 +0000 UTC
Comments
I am just trying to be realist Tyler. We are not exactly all starting on the same line in this competition. The self-improvement that you propose for me, some guy already higher up than me on the dominance hierarchy can do it too and remain above me. Also, while I have no idea on how to fix the problem on a societal level, what you are proposing is basically that I become better than someone else to get resources (money, status, women,...) in his place. It is a zero sum game and ultimately unsatisfying. Like you say there a lot of high-quality men who would deserve more attention and recognition without having to compete like crazy without the insurance of success.
Hugo Matiz
2020-05-12 09:44:12 +0000 UTCCut her some slack, man. For a woman to work out how to respect herself and have a healthy relationship with men is tough, given that she has to swim against the tide of society telling women to be promiscuous, to be unfeminine, to scorn masculinity. I say to be figuring it out at 22 is pretty impressive.
Jeans
2020-05-11 19:48:04 +0000 UTC@Hugo You are telling yourself a terrible lie. If you really believe that there are too many things outside of your control, that working on becoming a more desirable man is a waste of time, don't be surprised if your life reflects this self-fulfilling prophecy. I have met far too many men who have been in the top 5% of men who just didn't realize their own potential. Society is not going to change for you or me or anyone, and waiting around for society to "wake up" is going to take a long, long time. It takes much less effort and energy to improve yourself than it does to change the world. If you improve yourself enough, the world will recognize your progress and change with you.
Tyler Roland Morris
2020-05-10 22:09:32 +0000 UTCTyler and Krzysztof, good contributions!
Blair
2020-05-10 21:20:14 +0000 UTC@Baran Your POV is way too simplistic. You have to acknowledge that in modern dating culture, looks have a massive importance over "what you can control" with the explosion of online dating/social media. I know that this channel is aimed at men who are trying to improve themselves but you have to keep it real : your makeup, your experiences (and especially lack of thereof) and the current environment are things you can do nothing about and they have a massive impact. Especially as a student where you need to figure out your life outside of women and cannot spend your time thinking about how to be the alpha man. The responsibility is as much on the dysfunctional society or more than it is on the individual. Online dating is a shitshow and if you are an introvert it will not be that easy to get what you want from social settings.
Hugo Matiz
2020-05-08 14:23:35 +0000 UTCFair point, I agree she's not showing direct empathy for men on this subject, purely showing an interest in personal growth. Still, I try to be supportive of women (and men duh) who are trying to change their nature for the better. The worst thing someone can do is punish good behavior.
Tyler Roland Morris
2020-05-08 13:56:11 +0000 UTCAs harsh as it may sound, being invisible is your own fault, it only means you haven't looked far enough and your immediate environment or circle of friends is not right for you. I am speaking from experience as an Engineering student at a Technical University. Like over there 99% of guys there are invisible... why do you think that is? One would say that it's because there are too many men. Yeah, that's an external factor that indeed places men there in a massive disadvantage. However, most guys there: - have terrible hygiene - are socially awkward (slightly autistic) and they do nothing about it - expect girls to come to them (because they are smart and will be "rich") - never go outside of the campus or go to events to meet women in the more female-dominated or 50/50 gender split places - they are negative about dating because they see gorgeous women sometimes but they think in the back of their heads that she has a bf and they have no change (all from negative experiences). Also, when they go out, they carry this baggage that they think getting a woman is a lottery. - And then there are the arrogant pricks who think they are entitled to sex Thus, it's always guy's responsibility to explore if it does not work in one place. NOTE: I am not extremely successful with women myself but I can tell you it's a number game without guarantees.
Krzysztof Baran
2020-05-08 11:45:00 +0000 UTCDo you have a video on men’s fitness indicators. Thanks Alex
MRM_7
2020-05-08 09:29:59 +0000 UTCWhere exactly did she express empathy and support for men in this e-mail ? All we see is that she apparently wants to grow as a better person for her own interest (which is totally fine but insufficient Imo). I see no progress towards awareness about men’s struggles, she says she understands us a lot, yet I’m pretty sure she has no idea what the life of invisible men looks like.
Hugo Matiz
2020-05-08 06:27:51 +0000 UTCIn case the original letter writer is reading these comments, I'd say 22 is very young to have acquired so much wisdom. It usually only comes after hitting bottom hard, sometimes multiple times. Often it takes a divorce, addiction, or incarceration to become awakened. It sounds like you may have done that when you were 21. If so, don't stop growing emotionally and spiritually. You have a rare opportunity to avoid the bitterness you've seen in others and truly enjoy life.
DC
2020-05-07 21:09:31 +0000 UTCI really dislike how quick some are to judge any women who expresses real support / empathy for men's struggles. This email seemed like it came from a genuine person who grew through self reflection. We should support her voice.
Tyler Roland Morris
2020-05-07 20:07:58 +0000 UTCNo need to mark your words, we’ll never know about it. But you may be right.
Hugo Matiz
2020-05-07 19:01:40 +0000 UTCReading between the lines she still has a long way to go. I'd guess about 9 years. She'll try a nicer guy. Fail. Try again. Fail and then go straight back to Chad. Mark my words. I hope I'm wrong but I doubt it.
Kent C Johnson
2020-05-07 14:53:32 +0000 UTCNow that she had her fun sleeping around with tons of guys, she is ready to settle.
Hugo Matiz
2020-05-07 13:53:52 +0000 UTCI like how the used ‘masculine’ and ‘emotionally stable’ interchangeably.. makes sense
Oliver
2020-05-07 13:18:27 +0000 UTC👍
rumlyne
2020-05-07 10:09:40 +0000 UTC
