PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Rituals For A Boy's Initiation Into Manhood

I really resonate with this, I did scouts when I was around 13ish, but I've found that moving out for the first time on my own for an internship (I'm 18, I didn't know how to wash clothes, cook, do finances) has done wonders for my confidence. Amazing ideas once again Alex :)

Wow, this is so true. There is an old saying, that may be the result of not having rituals for boys to become men is: A boy becomes a man only when a man is needed. That is kind of sad if you think about it. We should be teaching our boys to want to become men, to strive to become men. Nowadays, it's almost the ideal to want to be lazy, entitle, and not work.

Great topic and video. Thanks Alex

Best money I’ve spent. (Amazing videos) I cannot wait until my son is at the age for this transition. Such a great way to show the gift of masculinity and manhood to your son.

Rationally, a boy's first semen ejaculation would be equivalent to a girl's first menstruation, but it doesn't seem to work that way :-\ And boys reach puberty on average two years later than girls, which exacerbates the problem in age-defined co-ed school classes.

Wonderful WONDERFUL topic. I'd never thought of some of these things in the way you presented them, but they absolutely resonate with me. This makes me think in a new way about how football might be under threat in the U.S. as far as long-term prospects for staying a high school sport. I don't know a ton about the issue, but I bet for some football players the sport is a productive, generally healthy route for channeling their need to be tough and be initiated into manhood.

Blair

Great topic. Would also just add in that the initiation rites are not only about becoming accepted as a man in the community. To take the Jungian angle a big component of them is also about separating from the mother. From a dating perspective, to not undergo initiation or at least not having a strong father figure (who shows them growing up is worthwhile) can lead to men looking to partners to replace the mother figure in their life (which obviously is a recipe for disaster).

Please don't be bothered by it, I agree completely with your point.

Alexander Grace

I'm really bothered by the take here. I have no argument with initiation being an important thing for young boys' development. The key he seems to miss is he focuses on the boy, when that's not the point. The initiation is about the tribe accepting the child as a man, it's about how the tribe or society is treating the individual. Thinking that putting boys through stress and trials will solve this problem is naive, since when they come back they are still treated as children. The real issue here is there is no respect in society for men. It's a thankless job with no alternative besides video games and porn, that men deal with anyway because it needs to be done. Men have no reason to act how society defines "Man" because there's no social benefit in modern times. His evidence about delinquents improving when put on a life or death boat situation helps them because they feel needed, and then their work appreciated, by the group. Yes, giving men these days that memory will certainly help strengthen them, but it's a drop in the bucket to the drudgery of life they're facing. Until we see society changes how it treats and respects men, you can expect this problem to get worse.

I find this really interesting and I definitely agree this is something men need. I have two young boys, I will do something like this for them. Not sure what, maybe a sweat lodge or something...

Rupert Brown

There's an organization called Illuman which addresses the need for male initiation with a program called Men's Rites of Passage. See "Adam's Return," by Richard Rohr for a description of what it's about.

DC

Thanks for this, you seem really passionate about the topic, as am I. I’ve always lamented our society’s lack of initiation for young men. The most ceremonious ritual I ever received was in Centrelink when the old fat women behind the desk clicked the button that declared me legally an adult. The man-child is a unique symbol of our time...never before have there been so many. And it’s because of this. There is so much media coverage, confusion and political chaos over what ‘modern/toxic masculinity’ means today. But that’s exactly the problem- it means nothing when it’s given no meaning. Manhood is something that’s subjectively defined in different ways across all cultures. To be a man in 19th century China is not what it is to be a man in modern Samoa. So to claim that ‘modern masculinity is lost’ is a red herring.. because there is little to nothing objective about manhood, outside of biology. A tribe or culture’s concept of masculinity is realised in their initiation ceremonies and rituals, remarking boys as men. If to be a man is to be strong and selfless, then it may be a test of strength and sacrifice. If to be a man is to show intelligence and leadership, then the ritual may be to guide a team through adversity, like on that ship. The problem is we have none of these today. And it shows.

Oliver