PATREON EXCLUSIVE - When A Woman Demands You Physically Fight Someone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2oPBew8VvQ Seems to me if the woman had adequate quality she would never allow any confrontation to devolve to violence in the first place.

Can you write an example on how you de escalate this situation? What you said...

A couple of times when I was in a disagreement with another man, on the edge of kicking his ass, when my girlfriend intervened, on his side. I quickly released those girlfriends. No regrets.

Roger Hayden

Alex I have been in a lot of fights. Sometimes I do to protect myself sometimes I do to protect others. Some of them were like organized criminals. I don't want to be too verbose but if you want to know about it I am happy to tell you. Yes my long term partner once had an argument with our housemate that nearly became violent he was threatening her with a kettle of boiling water. I went in spoke to the guy calmly, with relaxed body language and cleared up the situation. I knew I did not need to attack the guy because I've dealt with tough situations before. She expressed an anger and disappointment that I didn't just bash him. I worried about her devaluing me but she didn't leave me and our relationship didn't change. It's just something she said in the heat of the moment. Many years later I explained the charismatic techniques I used to avoid the fight because a guy tried to fight me outside the pub and I used the same kind techniques. She said it was actually really cool and she didn't understand what I did all those years ago. Here is what you do right act like they are your best friend big smile, soft friendly tones, introduce yourself and make a joke. No one will fight you. Explain it to your girl she'll probably like it to. I'm a lot better at fights than girls though so I don't know. So many times I have changed an assault in to a laugh in 3s.

Great point on the self esteem aspect. Not sure if it applies as powerfully as an adult but I went through heavy bullying in my school years and made the devastating mistake of following school rules which essentially tell kids “you’re just as bad as them for retaliating” which is not much more than “if you defend yourself you’re a bad person” It destroyed my self esteem despite my gut instinct was to fight back to cut the crap and challenge them. Before this, bullying and escalation came to an end with a physical fight with the bully getting beaten down. They are cowards by nature and when you challenge them one on one without their circle of friends for bravado, true colours come out. It does wonders on your self esteem to defend yourself because if you DONT, the default response in your mind is “I don’t defend myself because the harm coming my way is deserved” this is not a conscious internal dialogue, it’a unconscious. It took me years to restore my self esteem and confidence from that 3 year spat of bullying and I only really recovered when I was in my mid to late 20’s. As far as dreams go, I’ve been practicing lucid dreaming for years and what I’ve noticed is that when you can recall yourself doing things in a dream that you wonder how you would react in reality, it’s a great litmus test to see within yourself of how you would react. There’s a bit of a caveat in that though because the psychology of the REM sleep state is not the same as conscious: waking psychology but I have had many dreams where I know I reacted with self respect rather than how I would have reacted when I had lower confidence and self esteem. I do believe that part of the purpose for dream sleep in that way is to help wire those behaviours before those context even manifest - whether you remember them or not is a different and very interesting question.

Craig

It’s important to know how to handle yourself should the moment be unavoidable. I’ve done surveys on this exact topic and the overwhelming response from women for this type of context is summed up as “while I don’t want him to be a pussy over it (as in cowering away)” they don’t like to see you being violent because they then begin to think that that violence is potential against them as well. While this does play into that natural inherent fear of men as one of Alexander’s videos details already, it’s a level of fear that sounds to me is counter productive to her positive perception of you. De-escalating with finesse is key.

Craig

every boys should be taught how to fight.

I know the police get a bad rap these days but you can learn a great deal from law enforcement de-escalation techniques. Fighting may feel macho but a thousand things can go wrong and people can get seriously hurt. I’ve had guys get up in my face and after a few words the situation calms down. Often they got the impression I was looking for a fight and they seemed relieved to know that I’m not interested either. Better to out-think your opponent than kick the crap out of them. Will avoiding a bloody fistfight earn her undying affection? Probably not. Part of your masculinity is your intellect. If she cannot respect that - well, maybe she is looking for someone with more brawn than brain.

I started boxing practices when a drunk guy (or drugged) threatened me out of the blue and I didn't know what to do. Now I feel more comfortable If such thing happens again.

So I have always had a hot-temper, but also quiet, introverted, on the short side and skinny. The last time a fought outside of a sporting event was in high school. This guy insulted my mother directly, so I punched him in the face in the hall way. I held back because I didn't want to hurt him too much, just kind of send a warning. He tried to threaten me by mentioning his drug-dealing buddies, so I told him that I was going to punch him for real now, and he walked away. The same guy a few months later goes to my locker and while its open starts throwing things out of it. I saw him showing off his nipple piercing on the bus that morning. So while he was holding my books I said his name so he would face me, and then I punched him with all my might in his brand new nipple piercing. While he was on the floor contemplating how much it hurts I put my locker back in order. I have never been in a relationship, but in a party in my last year in high school I yelled at a bunch of guys because they were acting up. The girl they were with told them that fighting me was a bad call and they were going to get hurt. I could see they were not going to listen. I knew I could not fight a group of guys by myself so I went to my tent, put my lantern on and arranged my blankets and pillows so that it looked like I was leaning on the side of the tent and went into my car. I just laughed as I saw them beating on my tent like a bunch of idiots. Then a few years later some crook showed up to my parents house and said he is from the city and he needed to get in to see our water tank. He was much taller than me. My mom answered the door, he was very persistent. He tried to force himself in so I went in front of my mom, got into a fighting stance without saying a word. I was a few seconds away from punching him until he turned around with his head down and walked away. So, if there is going to be a fight be proactive. Do whatever you need to do before they make the first move, whether that's hitting them or tricking them, but obviously deescalating is the best always, if you can. And not being a hot-headed idiot like me is also good.

Try to secretly record this behavior and words and then use it to get rid of them through authorities. People like that don't stop with just doing it to 1 person.

Completely agree. Have someone video record you dodging mostly if possible and then take it to court later for your justice.

To be honest, this is a very rare thing unless the men are drunk and full of pride. Usually after being rejected by a girl. The only other times I have seen this is when the guy tries to get with a girl and she turns him down in a very nasty or rude way, usually in a public or demeaning way. At that point, I would rather just tell the man to walk away for his own safety, because those types of girls are like the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp situation.

Brazilian Jiu Jitsu just changed my hole being. Im a kind os sensitive guy. An artist. Fighting was not in my planes. But, there are so many learnigs with that... I super recomend it mainly to encrease your masculin pole. Your being changes. Your body posture changes. Even if people dont know that you started practicing marcial arts, they notice something diferent in you. There was one day that I was shattered for a half of hour just for black belts. When I woke up in the next day, I never felt SO STRONG in my life. I'll never forget the firt time my oponent asked me to stop, because he was about to faint. It was like "I did it! Im capable" A few moths before, I was just a sensitive guy who enjoys meditate in nature. Marcial Arts provide you some inner peace. If you pass to some hell situation and you dont get steric... you focus your mind and find out the best way to overcome that situation. And there is no problem: or you die trying, or you overcome. So, that is no reason to get afraid. You just breath and transform Caos in to Cosmos. Thats why its the Art of War.

Interesting topic. I think the best approach for this situation is establishing who has control of the situation, while in front of the girl. Step 1: Start a video recording with your phone or whisper to your girl to do so while being discreet about it, so that the men don't get catch on to what you are doing. Step 2: Get the men to establish why they are bothering you. The men have already shown how arrogant they are, so this should not be hard to do. Step 3: Establish if the girl finds their behavior acceptable or not. (You can do this subtly or sarcastically). Step 4: Attempt to reason or be peaceable with the men to leave. Once you have the whole situation established on the recording, then you don't have to be subtle or secretive anymore. Step 5: Advise the men of the situation and that you will defend, while the girl calls the cops if they proceed. Step 6: Regardless of the choice they made, the incident should get reported to the police. Don't tell the men this, because this should still be used as a threat to get them to leave and if they know they are screwed either way, then they will go after you and the phone. This would establish control of the situation regardless if the fight takes place and will help to show the strength of wit before brawn, which you can always show later. If fighting does pursue, then I would recommend dodging more than fighting for the the extra recorded footage to use in court later. I would do this because I feel the need to destroy any plausible deniability of the situation being innocent in any way, so I can destroy them in court.

I've never been in a fight, cus I never fought back. When I was about 11 years old, an older kid seemed like he wanted to kick my twin brother's ass, so I provoked him away from my brother. He grabbed me, but didn't know what to do after that and left. Even if he had knocked me into next week, it would never bother me or my pride, cus my brother was saved and that was all I wanted. The same when a big psycho-faced guy wanted to follow my female friends home. After that he terrorized me pretty bad plus blow to the head. Nothing I could do to him, but still - my goal was reached, and I'm extremely proud of every situation.

In a self-defense situation, only do what you absolutely need to do to protect yourself and the people who may be with you. Do not let ego (or women) push you into making stupid decisions. I don't know about the laws in other countries, but in the U.S., if you do anything more, you may very well end up going to prison. If you use a weapon to defend yourself, you better be able to prove that your life was in peril. In the story about the guy who was stabbed, in the U.S, if he had survived, he likely would have been charged with and convicted of assault.

Ken Schafer

I am curious who this happens to and in what circumstances (women demanding men fight for them). Unless there was a real threat of violence, and no other way, I’d never want my husband to fight. As you said, taking some type of action would be important - whether that be to deescalate and/or remove us from the situation entirely. Thankfully we’ve never run into any serious altercations but there have been some minor incidents and I’ve had to talk him down so he did NOT fight. My mindset is that he can’t keep me safe over the long term if he is hurt, killed, or thrown in jail. Because that’s the thing - if he kicks ass and wins the fight, there is a high likelihood of jail time - and then what? I’m left without his protection entirely? Seems short sighted (again - unless there is no other alternative).

Great video! I practice Brazilian Jiu Jitsu every week and there is nothing more empowering. You absolutely have to be able to defend yourself as a man - AND a woman. Sexual assaults can be prevented with proper technique.. I’ve been beaten up by several girls in my BJJ gym, and it makes me so happy for them.

Oliver