PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Using Frequency Of Sex To Gauge The Health Of A Relationship

Yes. The man needs to try and make the wife happy, while the wife tries to make the husband happy.

Just a sidenote. I was skeptical about subscribing to this guy but he has far exceeded every expectation I had. Thanks and keep it going young man!

Samuel Morse

Most often it is the woman who change. Guys have to nail this upfront (no pun intented - crack myself up). Women dont get that they have to take care of their guy - it includes sucking it up (there go again - LOL) and not always thinking about themselves. Book - Care and feeding of a husband - if I remeber right. All girls should read it before they commit - and if you cant or won't do it step away - don't make him or you misearble.

K M

Men lose their mystery once they've committed and they become less of a challenge by being locked down, making us less attractive. Men also typically fail to cultivate their seduction skills.

Todd McDaniels

I'm approaching a point in the relationship with my girlfriend where we might have some serious talks about whether there's a long-term future for us. I'll be making my expectations and desires regarding sex known to her clearly. She'll know up front how important it is to me. The conversations shouldn't be too hard, because from early on I've cultivated comfort between us in talking about sex.

Blair

haha yeah, I thought he was gonna talk about that too

Blair

Agree 100%

Blair

At this point, is he now considered a porn “addict”? Maybe he does want to try but is worried he won’t be able to get it up or cum and that anxiety is holding him back?

I currently have a dead bedroom with my husband, since our child was conceived over 15 years ago. My reasons are varied and they overlapped throughout the years. None of the reasons, except one, had anything to do with him. They were all my issues. If you want details, go to Alexander's public video 'Asking girls why they stop sleeping with their boyfriends' from Oct 2020. I put them in the comment section as a response to someone else's comment. Since then there's been an update. Long story short, I wanted to start having sex again, so I asked him about it. Turns out he NEVER EVEN MISSED it! He is a very squeamish guy in general, and apparently there were some sex acts that we did together that grossed him out and he was relieved he didn't have to do them anymore. He was happy just masturbating to porn. Since we started going out, and all that time until I got pregnant, I thought he actually liked doing those things in bed. But really, he thought it was disgusting and was just doing it to please me. He never once said he didn't want to do it anymore. He said he might be willing to try again, but it would only be hand jobs and blow jobs, and he will probably want to watch porn during. I like porn too so I thought that was a great suggestion! I've called his bluff several times since he offered that, he said no each time. So, at this point I'm confused. Why did he offer to start up again if he didn't mean it?

Jennifer Coopman

Good advice as always. Alexander didn’t really answer the flip side: if you’re having regular sex does that automatically mean your relationship is healthy??

Andy

Spot on Jen......being much older I am guessing I had Marriage Therapist and books....all helpful but a slow process....there is so much more available today than then and we are able to get our arms around the whys and hows much more efficiently and much quicker...."5 Languages" should be part of every high school's curriculum along side of basic with sex education!!!

So many things happen over the course of a marriage to both people that can temporarily change libido, that have nothing to do with the other partner. I agree 100% communication about sex is key. My husband and I have a general “rule” that if it’s only been 1x week for 2 weeks in a row (with no explicit health reasons), we talk about what’s going on. Sometimes a lower libido for me is due to feeling yuck about myself. Sometimes lower libido for my husband has had to do with his level of work stress. Sometimes, for both of us, it is just letting straight exhaustion with what’s going on take precedence and we have to reprioritize ourselves as a couple. You mentioned the 5 love languages thing and for both my husband and I, our #1 form of expression is touch. For me, my second is words and my husbands second is acts of service. But that touch thing is so critical - so if our love life slows down too much - it affects the rest of our marriage. We get disconnected and snippy with each other. And a conversation and focus on reconnection always gets us back on track.

Years ago I heard about a study that came to the same conclusion. I doubt I could find it now but your experience with your ex-wife is likely to be fairly typical.

Another top video. Basically, detect a problem early and find a MATURE SOLUTION by talking before it is too late. This is an excellent way to deal with the problem

oschicus

I might add basic financial security plays a large part in a woman's Libido. My X-wife's"Libido" always seemed to be directly tied to her level of this area of comfort. When things were financially comfortable Libido was high....very low to non-existent when things were more dire but likely both the man and the woman's Libido fell during these times.

Hi Alexander. I'm brand new to PATREON. I encourage all of your followers to consider this small investment. I am an older man divorced now for 20 years-was married for 20. Everything you mentioned....changing libido, children, etc. makes complete sense.

Great video Alexander. Im in a new relationship with plenty of sex, however this whole dead bedroom thing scares the hell of of me!