PATREON EXCLUSIVE (Full Video): The 3 boyfriends modern women have
Added 2023-11-19 09:59:06 +0000 UTC
Comments
It seems a lot of the topics being discussed by Alexander lately are related - you can see an idea, or comment he mentions in a previous video, and a future one will basically be expounding on that. I personally do not mind that format, it makes sense as he may be making sure he is not confusing anyone. Just a lot of nuance with these topics. More collaborations would be cool for sure however, but it does take two to agree to participate.
Matt Scoggins
2024-02-08 23:44:13 +0000 UTCTechnically, I guess you could call that, but the question sort of crumbles if you look at at the nuances A gold digger goes into a situation, specifically trying to extract money . She is attracted to all the money that he has.. If a woman goes into a situation, merely because of all the things he can do for her like time and effort, and that is specifically the resource she is trying to extract from him one-sidedly Then, sure she is a time stealer . But if she goes into the situation, rather ignorant and do eyed … and just sort of bs in the attention as a “innocent” side-effect that she isn’t consciously seeking Then it becomes difficult for me to use the word “ gold digger” specifically
Peter
2023-12-17 06:24:15 +0000 UTCI absolutely understand this she is not stealing your time because you are getting something positive out of the situation your friends, genuinely friends, you’re not investing into a venture with an expected outcome that just isn’t going to happen. There is no unexpected outcome like suddenly, your TV was gone. You know what you’re getting you know what you’re aiming for from the beginning . And you’re getting that. And she is getting that too. This was not the situation that I was referring to in my comment But I think the topic of consenting exploitation is a complex one, which could probably take up an hour of discussion And is situation contenting. If you’re afraid of the consequences, hyperbolically “can you truly consent with a gun to your head “
Peter
2023-12-17 06:21:14 +0000 UTCNot necessarily. I have female friends I hang out with, because I enjoy their company. So I don't feel like thay are "steeling my time".
Tom WWW
2023-12-02 04:16:22 +0000 UTCOkay, but how does this differ from all the advice to guy to aways have other options. Just different labels for the most part? Also wouldn't this be supported by evolution, because a lot of men would't come back from hunting and war? Therefor backup man.
Tom WWW
2023-12-02 04:12:36 +0000 UTCI am going to contribute another twist. If a woman is getting an orbiter to invest time in her so she can receive validation from his attention, is she a gold digger? Where time replaces money as the gold.
Mark Bryski
2023-11-23 20:24:24 +0000 UTCRegarding the immorality of backup guys. Its not only women but men that condone that behaviour. If the women us forthright then its up to him how he lets himself be treated. Which is right. But still its like stealing and justifing it but saying the door was unlocked. Technically true. But it still stinks of exploitation of a situation and person.
Peter
2023-11-23 18:56:25 +0000 UTCRegarding the cheating etc Its scummy guys willing to take advantage of any opportunity, that are the counter to the cheating women. Self control or acting on base drives… i dont know if women are unable or unwilling to do better.. but i do expect better and more from men. How can we get anywhere if we are secretly side jabbing and undercutting our fellow bro… I have a lot of distain for me that partake in the problem.
Peter
2023-11-23 18:53:56 +0000 UTCWatching those clip compilations of women is fun and scary at the same time. “This cant be true”!!!. Its just too crazy. But then you see the 501 clip and start to wonder WTF. Then The dispair begins to creep in. Its all fine and well to say “they will grow out of it” but that implies that you are going tobe the sloppy 2nds guy. The not good enough initially guy. The dating scene cuck in a way. I know its unfair and pll get to grow. But my initial gut response is, so im the backup chump huh? You had your fun and now its my “turn”. Imagine a guys come up to you in a gro. He flirts with you to try make nice with the grp but it becomea apartent he wants your hot friend, and then when realising that the hotter friend isnt interested, turning back to you. There is just something about having any of self worth that screams “you gotta be damn skippy to be crawling back here. How desperate do you think i am” Even if you don’t see the past first hand, like a past flame showing up again. But the knowledge that sooooo sooooo many women are like that. You really need ao mental gymnastics to convince yourself that you are nit the sloppy seconds guy. The one that doesn’t do it for her but oh well its you for the lack of better choice. I don’t quite know how you can avoid giving someone that feeling. I know if you have consistently been seeking guys of your caliber. I dont think id get the impression she sees me as less than those other guys. But that is the hust of it, not getting the fweling she aeems me as less than. Dr irion taraban soeaks if the 3 rules women have to follow to get ANY man they have access to. Rule 2 is escentially r That. Give him what you dont give others. Ideally what you maybe have never given others. And its hot just sexually. Its if tou hold hands, be clingier than with others. If you never made sandwiches, make them for him. If you didnt wake any of them with sloppy head, do it for him. ( my addiction: he has tobe aware if it too. Subtly ) As a woman id be a bit sceptical about this. Nit being able to live and make my experiences and grow and have my dating representative of that But for me, the other side of that equation…. You previous fun, it puts you in a place of debt. Social/reputation debt if you will. You have to make up for it. You had your fun m. It cost you. You had your fun on credit so to say. Now its kind of tine so account for that. But it is possible. Its the 2nd rule… make me feel special… not like the 2nd choice. But like the new “first” choice.
Peter
2023-11-23 05:08:24 +0000 UTCI would enjoy that too. More outside if they manosphere ppl too.
Peter
2023-11-23 04:36:05 +0000 UTCSo I made $196K last year, but the fact is there is nothing "dangerous" or passion invoking about me. There wasn't anything dangerous about me back then either. I've gone to the gym 5 or 6 days a week since I was 18. I am insanely fit for someone my age. But I never mattered to women. I'm an outdoors guy who lives in an urban area. I hunt. I fish. I tie flies. I work 55 hours a week with an hour and a half commute each way. I feel so fortunate to have a found a way to survive life, and to feel valued and appreciated at work. So I am doing what I want to do. In my area, my life isn't mainstream enough to generate any interest. I'm convinced doing what I want, on my own, is the better choice. That woman I lived with said she got tired of being "jacked around" by druggies and dirt bags." But she got pregnant by a "druggie" so she obviously couldn't stay away from them.
Norbert
2023-11-21 19:22:34 +0000 UTCCurious about what you think you were the “boring” guy? Was it stable, reliable, responsible? Or are you underselling yourself with successful? If you were the first 3 & not successful, you were a sucker. Would say “Join the Club” but sounds like you’re already a member. But successful is different. Nothing exciting about saving $30k a year into 401k, Roth IRA, & HSA, but the benefits of watching your net worth grow into the multi-millions depending on when you started leads to a life that’s anything but “boring.” If you’re not successful financially, don’t engage with women again till you are. It’s not worth it. If you are successful financially, then hire a personal trainer, and start looking the part. It took me time, but I can take a girl out for mini golf or a cruise and she’s not “bored”, because she knows I can afford it, and when I’m not around, she’s always wondering what I’m doing. I lie all the time. I may or may not have gone somewhere, but she knows I can. Went to the NHL/NFL home game, went to shooting range, went to “X” Convention (may or may not have even had one). The thing is, develop your own interests & do them. You don’t need to worry about her liking them, they are yours, but get out and live something interesting to you. And look good doing it.
Bill Washinski
2023-11-21 18:37:32 +0000 UTCI started watching it yesterday. I watched "the map". It definitely demonstrates the importance of masculinity and a major point he makes reinforces Alex's salient point of don't make a woman feel pressured.
Mark Bryski
2023-11-21 18:29:42 +0000 UTCAlex please watch some Hoe Math on YouTube and let us know what you think. He is incredibly insightful. He really fills in a lot of the blanks you leave.
EVO1D0ER
2023-11-21 16:17:14 +0000 UTCMorally speaking I feel you are in the clear. I do not believe anybody is required to take responsibility for other actions. That being said... If you care for him then It would be ultimately best for him if you distance yourself. Maybe even severe contact. It's harsh, but sometimes tough love is the best love. But you could start by talking with him. That you feel uncomfortable with his obvious feelings for you. And you do not believe it is healthy for him. If you can pull this off I truly do not think you would have any basis to feel guilty about it. Or find him a girlfriend xD
Cezary Skoczek
2023-11-20 21:55:54 +0000 UTCI agree that the quality of videos went up after he hired the editor. Personally, I only listen to them and do not need reinforcement learning. So those benefits miss me. I think the parental advice from him would be great! Live to hear them. I believe he just concentrates on dating and maybe feels outside his expertise. Not sure. Maybe I will come up with some suggestions this week. But I adore his podcasts with Matt. They always talked about something novel and interesting.
Cezary Skoczek
2023-11-20 21:50:01 +0000 UTCFor myself, I actually quite liked the last trend of Alex's videos. There's obviously some repeatability in the topics covered 😉 but looking back on the previous videos, the production quality has come up: the background, "torytelling (?) skills, the integration of social network content, overlaying text, each topic is not a single leaf on its own but seems to connect to other topics, etc. And "repeating" content means reinforcing knowledge, so I don't even count that as a negative. That being said, I would love to have some parenting advice, especially to daughters, but peshaps Alex is in a data-collecting stage 😉 @Cezary, perhaps you could hint to examples of subjects or formats you'd like to see?
Galdor
2023-11-20 17:48:02 +0000 UTCQuestion:What if one is on the other side of the string, with the following scenario: you're a girl and there's guy that's orbiting you, to whom (i) you told you don't have any romantic interest, and (ii) from which you don't accept favors nor emotional support, but he still keeps coming back at you? You quite like his company, but that's obviously not healthy for him. What is the recommended course of action from there? Can one consider that having taken steps (i) and (ii) is good enough, or does that call for further action?
Galdor
2023-11-20 17:36:52 +0000 UTCThanks for sharing your story Norbert, a tough one indeed... 🤗 Hope you found the way to a better place 😊
Galdor
2023-11-20 17:34:25 +0000 UTCI dated one of these women for almost 2y in my early 20s. Her basic principle is that She Is The Relationship. Not a part of a relationship as in it takes 2 to tango, but she is the relationship. A relationship is like a sphere where both members live in equal manner, working together. If one of them fills up that place, the other one will spend his/her life trying to step in and be satisfied with crums. Don't be that person. Walk away.
Mircea N.
2023-11-20 16:05:50 +0000 UTCUp until 1988 I was the "back up" boyfriend to a woman I lived with for 3 years. Unfortunately, I was 32 and had never had a girlfriend before so obviously I had no options, and didn't realize I was the "back up" even though she was living with me. I was the stable, responsible, reliable, (read boring guy) she could always count on to be there for her and make sure everything was taken care of. I could fix her car and anything around the house. One Saturday she informed me that she was pregnant by one of "who knows how many" side pieces. She move out, married him, had the baby, and divorced him a year and half later. So this is not necessarily a new phenomenon. It was really painful at the time but I now realize I was lucky to escape.
Norbert
2023-11-19 16:13:32 +0000 UTCWhen women look to the man for "excitement" and the "vibe," I'd argue that they are in their masculine energy and aren't emotionally healthy in their femininity. Masculinity brings stoicism, planning and strategy - not excitement. Femininity brings vulnerability, openness and emotional intimacy in the form of laughter, tears, happiness, fulfillment, sex and the myriad of other emotions = excitement. I have had my share of players come into my life where I got the "vibe" quickly. Learning how our bodies respond to fear helped me understand the "vibe" I was getting. Dr. Bruce Lipton discusses how when our fear or "fight or flight" response is triggered our brain releases cortisol into the blood which makes our internal organs constrict and push all of our blood into our arms and legs for "fight or flight." I always felt the "vibe" in my solar plexus where my internal organs can constrict. Modern women who are unhealthy in their masculine ways probably only know this type of connection due to their childhood trauma, so what is familiar to these women is a trauma bond where we connect through our emotional pain/ego and not through a healthy heart-based connection. Because I didn't know any other type of connection outside of a trauma bond as a child, I was attracted to men who I connected with in that way as well. It was familiar, so I thought it was normal. These relationships provided me with many opportunities to examine my childhood trauma because the actions the players took triggered my emotional pain regularly. I used those relationships as opportunities to self-reflect and love on the parts of myself that I was previously hating on. Only after I healed enough of my childhood trauma was I able to understand that those relationships were there to provide opportunities for me to love on my authentic, feminine self more, so I could attract healthier men into my life in the future. Yesterday, I flirted successfully with a healthy masculine man who was stoic and lead with ease where we really connected through laughter, thoughtfulness and respect. I never felt the vibe. I only felt connected, fulfilled and calm. He gave me space to express myself "emotions" through laughter and then he lead us through the rest of the interaction. In order for that interaction to be successful, I HAD to know how to be healthy in my submissive femininity, so I could attract my opposite, which is a man who is healthy in his masculinity. Here is a video about epigenetics where Dr. Lipton discusses how are beliefs or consciousness make the brain push chemicals into the blood stream which activate proteins that then activate our genetics. When we think about food, our mouths salivate, so our consciousness is really controlling our emotional and physical reality. https://youtu.be/3Ujx3Ez7dW8?si=59VpwohpHoVa4mTI
Kerry Blaser
2023-11-19 15:59:36 +0000 UTCI felt that way at one point. Now, I enjoy boosting up my masculinity just to see the response. Basically, collect data. Plus, there is a potential benefit. It won't be hard to tamp it down for "the one" and let her bask in the power of her feminity. And yes, I don't have time for women who feel compelled to compete with men on masculinity.
Mark Bryski
2023-11-19 15:25:14 +0000 UTCIf a man has to boost up his masculinity for the first few dates, she better damn well show up in a dress, speak softly, and be quintessentially feminine. Too many times, it feels like we have to undergo scrutiny, while she takes her time to analyze whether we're good enough for her... ah, no, thanks.
Jon of Arc
2023-11-19 15:11:25 +0000 UTCInteresting video. I believe there are a couple things worth further exploration. First, what is the likelihood of a woman who has a backup boyfriend to have a side boyfriend? Women with weak morals have side boyfriends. Having a backup boyfriend is immoral. Second, what is the best way to gauge a woman's morals when exploring a relationship?
Mark Bryski
2023-11-19 11:51:45 +0000 UTCI am alright Jack, pull up the ladder?
Mark Bryski
2023-11-19 11:26:54 +0000 UTCI just cannot sympathize with guys who let themselves be led on for years. You are both single and after a couple of months of seeing each other nothing is coming out of it? She is not interested. Does she have a boyfriend? Dude, have some int|griry. Do not try to steal girlfriends. If you are in a true friendzone she will constantly disrespect you in some way. It is obvious to see so just move on. I had in my past female friends. Some of them were hot and I would agree to a booty call. But because I did not pursue this, nor did they. And we respected each other I do not consider this friendzone. Like you do not need to act on physical attraction. And if you must then burn or leave. Staying in "situationships" for years is so dehumanizing for you.
Cezary Skoczek
2023-11-19 11:12:21 +0000 UTCIs it just me or have the videos become repetitive as of late? I understand you are trying to target young guys. Preferably even Teenagers and you need to bring up certain topics over and over again. But. I subscribed and liked your Patreon because of your deep dive into psychology. Not only women or men but sometimes generally. Always from the lens of evolutionary psychology. And nowadays it is just extended editions of YT videos. And honestly considering your target audience, you should be on Twitch and TikTok. YT is generally more so for young adults. I would honestly prefer for you to post here even once a month, but something exclusive.
Cezary Skoczek
2023-11-19 11:01:18 +0000 UTC
