Regrets

"Regrets"

The

first time that I realized that my boyfriend and I weren't meant for each other

was when I took him out on a date, and his biggest compliment was that I had

spent too much.

I

poured my hear into this date and all that I got was that I wasn't frugal. That

should had been an indication. Instead, I came through and tried to be the best

man that I could be.

The

problem with that is that you can't be the best that you can be to someone that

doesn't want to see it.

Louis

Lane can't be that stupid.

We

broke up, and I spent a whole year commiserating. I truly gave everything that

I could, and it still didn't seem enough. The last thing that came vividly

about us was that I had spent a lot of effort into a date with someone that

simply didn't want anything that I wanted to offer. It was all a waste of

effort, and all I ever learned from it was to recognize where I wasn't wanted.

We

broke up, and I was definitely broken.

When

everything that you can offer doesn't seem enough, it hurts. The problem with

that is that you are offering too much for someone that may not even have the

capability to understand what you were capable of offering. And that is the

problem with relationships. Maybe what I truly want to offer is not at all what

they want to take?

The

first time I ever felt like I was desired came a few years later when a single

sentence from someone entirely different sparked my soul back into life. I

bough us ice cream, and he asked me "do you want to share this with me?" It had

been so long since I had anyone ask me what I wanted. Why was it such a novelty

that I should be included into the equation of this relationship?

It may

not sound like much, but the words expressing desire meat everything. Sure I had

paid for it, but the gesture hadn't gone to waste. He thought of what I wanted

at that time. If I had been on the other side, would I had done the same?

People

throw the phrase "soul mate" around a lot, but shouldn't a soul mate know you

as well as you know yourself?

"Regret nothing,

learn from everything"