Jimmy's Loaf
Added 2023-07-26 18:17:56 +0000 UTCOne day George Liquor comes home with a package all nicely wrapped in brown paper. He walks over to Jimmy the Hapless Boy and offers him the present.
Why it's a brand new shiny kitchen utensil! Jimmy is overjoyed.
George: It's yer first knife son!
Jimmy swings it around like a samurai warrior testing its weight. George looks on proudly: Aww, isn't that cute!
Jimmy tests it's sharpness on his finger. George wiggles his eyebrows and says in a sing-song voice: I have another present for ya!
George is hiding it behind his back. Jimmy picks him up with his new knife.
George reveals it: It's a Goddamn luncheon loaf! Jimmy looks on with awe at the glistening loaf. he yanks out his knife.
The loaf bounces on the table as Jimmy's peanut brain ponders what to do with it. George: It's Olive Loaf, boy!
George: That's God's meat son! You must revere it!
Light from heaven shines on them and the loaf.
A message from heaven tells Jimmy what the holy relationship is between knife and meat. George: Now cut the crap out of it!"
Jimmy lifts his knife while George eagerly awaits his nephew's baptism by slice.
Jimmy takes his first swipe - it's a miss! ...for the loaf anyway.
Then in a frenzy he slices through air, loaf and man - thus taking his first step toward manhood..
Next: Meet Jimmy's Special Friends
Comments
HA! SO much cartoony fun! I acted along with it. Hilarious stuff!
Julian DiLorenzo
2025-04-02 18:06:34 +0000 UTCJimmys fingers are a whole show by themselves!
Ali G
2023-09-14 02:54:12 +0000 UTC
