Santa Baby 1

“Rosalie you need to give it up. You are never going to catch Santa Claus.”Alice told her sister. Rosalie looked up from one of her multiple monitors that were sitting on a table where she had set up her command center for the night. Each monitor showed different camera feeds she had set up in and around the house. Ever since the first time the intruder broke into the Cullen’s house on Christmas Eve Rosalie had been trying to catch them. Her family were convinced that it was Santa Claus but Rosalie didn’t believe that. She thought that a vampire with a gift had been messing with them this whole time. That gift making them invisible because it had to overhear private conversations to leave the perfect gift for each of them.

“There is no such thing as Santa Claus and this year I’m going to prove it.”Rosalie had gone all out with her security this year. To include night vision cameras and infer red sensors. She even had drones ready to be deployed to catch the bastard doing it.

“Did you at least write your letter?”Emmett asked. He and the rest of the family all wrote letters to Santa every year. Even Carlisle and Esme did. Most of the world did as Santa made the rounds to every home on Christmas Eve.

“I’m not writing a letter to a burglar.”Rosalie wouldn't write a letter to the criminal who broke into their house. Not that it really mattered because Rosalie always found the perfect gift for her under the tree or in the driveway like the year that she had been given her dream car a Porsche 917 prototype all original in mint condition. It looked like it had just rolled out of the work room. Even though she loved it and drove it any chance she got Rosalie still wanted the person who was giving them everything to be caught.

“I wrote mine and mailed it last week.”Kala Emmet’s mate said.

“What did you ask for?”Alice asked.

“I asked for a Georgia O’Keefe painting.”Kala told her.

“I asked for the new Nintendo game system that isn’t going to be released until February.”Emmet was pretty sure he was going to get it because he had been a good person all year.”What did you ask for Jasper?”

“I asked for information on my family.”Jasper figured if anyone could tell him what happened to his family it would be Santa.

“Santa is the perfect person to ask that.”Alice and the others had helped Jasper search out his family but by the time Alice met Jasper they had all moved on from their homestead and Jasper didn’t know what happened to them. Even modern day techniques didn’t help him.

“What did you ask for Alice?”Emmett asked.

“I asked for a custom outfit made by Carolina Herrera.”Alice had made sure that she had been extra good all year to get the outfit as the designer didn’t do custom clothing for anyone.

“Do you think Santa is going to bring you another car Rosalie?”Kala noticed that Rosalie’s gifts were all extremely extravagant compared to everyone else’s.

“Or maybe another custom made one of a kind Birkin bag.”Alice had been extremely jealous when Rosalie opened her package revealing the bag.

“I don’t want anything from the creep except to expose them.”Rosalie would never admit out loud that she loved the bag and used quite often when she wasn’t with her family. She liked seeing the looks she got and people’s reaction when asking if it was a real Birkin bag and her reply of it being custom made just for her. Rosalie loved to be envied and every gift she received from the prowler made everyone from men to women envy her.

“You know what I think. I think the real reason Rosalie is so obsessed with finding Santa is because she has a crush on him.”Emmett said.

“I don’t have crush on anyone especially a man.”Rosalie was an out and proud lesbian. She would never even consider being with a man.

“How do we even know that Santa’s a man?”Jasper wouldn’t be surprised if Santa was a woman.

“Well the long beard for one. Then there is the big gut he sports.”Emmett thought Santa was a man.

“Actually Jasper’s got a point. What if Santa wears a disguise or what if they were the one who put out the description of what Santa looked like to trick people.”Kala suggested.

“I think if I was Santa I wouldn’t want people to know what I looked like so I didn’t get recognized in public.”Alice could easily see Santa hiding their identity.

“There you go Rosalie. Santa is a girl so now you can feel better about your crush.”Emmett told her.

“I don’t have a crush on the creep who keeps breaking into our house and leaving personalized gifts for us.”Rosalie just wanted to catch the person that’s all. Then she could find out who they were and why they did it.

“Alright if Santa isn’t real then how do you explain all the people who receive gifts from them on Christmas morning?”Alice asked.

“I think the prowler is working with others.”Rosalie fully believed that the person who did this didn’t work alone.

“You think there is some Santa conspiracy where there is actually no Santa but a group of people who put on the suit and deliver gifts?”Jasper didn’t believe that for a second.

“I believe it’s a group of vampires that do this to fuck with people.”Rosalie said.

“Why would anyone put in so much effort?”Kala didn’t think that a group of people would go to those extremes unless they had Santa’s magic.

“What we really should be asking is how would they accomplish it. They would have to stake out their targets for months to figure out what gift to give then they would have to find the gift, plus pay for the gift. I mean how much was that car worth Rosalie?”Alice asked.

“16 million dollars.”Rosalie grudgingly admitted.

“How about the handbag?”Kala asked.

“250 thousand dollars.”Rosalie told her.

“That’s a lot of money. So even if there is a group of vampires doing this it has been going on for thousands of years. I mean even the Denali have stories of Santa leaving them presents when they were children. In all that time how could they afford to buy all those gifts. Heck how are they able to get their hands on the gifts because vampire or not some things money can’t buy. Like Carlisle’s father’s personal bible. There is no way a vampire would even know where to look for that.”Alice didn’t know where Santa got the book but she was happy they did. Carlisle had openly wept as he scanned each page seeing his father’s hand written notes on the pages.

“True and don’t forget the pictures of Esme with her son that she got after she went a full year without breaking the animal diet. Esme didn’t even know they were taken.”Those pictures and the bible were the reason Jasper was sure that Santa would get him information on his family.

“Say I believe this Santa person is real. What kind of supernatural are they then?”Rosalie asked.

Emmett shrugged.”Maybe they are a very rare kind that no one has ever heard of.”

“Based on the fact that no one else does what they do I have to think that they are the only one of their kind.”Kala said.

“Yeah if someone else had the abilities Santa had then they would probably use them for their own gain and that would bring attention to them.”Alice wasn’t sure she would be able to hold back if she had the ability to get her hands on the things Santa did. She would use it to get everything she always wanted.

“It still doesn’t explain what this supposed Santa is.”Rosalie wasn’t hearing anything to make her believe that the prowler wasn’t a member of a group who terrorized houses with random acts of kindness.

“Let’s talk about Santa’s powers. Do we think that them getting presents is some kind of gift or do they do it by searching everything out and buying it?”Emmett asked.

“Well Santa has elves.”Alice began only to be cut off by Rosalie.

“You mean vampires.”Rosalie didn’t believe elves existed either.

Alice rolled her eyes.”I think the elves help with getting the gifts. That or Santa has some kind of magic that makes it so they can find the exact gift the person asked for.”

“What about Rosalie though? She never writes a letter but Santa always leaves her incredible gifts that are perfect for her.”Jasper had been somewhat jealous of some of the gifts that Santa got Rosalie. Including the race car. At least Rosalie was nice enough to let him drive it so that was nice.

“That’s just proof that the creep has been spying on us.”Rosalie thought her getting gifts that were perfectly tailored to her proved that the prowler was monitoring the family.

“Or Santa could have walked through the house and seen your interests. I mean a poster featuring the car was hanging in your garage and if they went into your room they would have seen your hand bag collection. Maybe they do that for all people who don’t write a letter that have been good enough to receive a gift.”Kala thought that Santa would go out of their way to make sure those who were deserving got a gift.

“Ok but Rosalie gets a gift every year even the year she was turned and killed those men. Then the other times that she has been horrible to people or destroyed someone’s belongings. Why does she get gifts every year no matter what she does but other people don’t. Like Edward the year he went on his killing spree. He didn’t get anything.”Alice thought it was odd that Santa favored Rosalie because Rosalie was not a nice person most of the time.

“Maybe because the vampire doing this approves of what I did and disproves of what Edward did.”Rosalie would never admit it out loud but she was very proud of that fact. Especially when Edward brought it up the Christmas he didn’t receive a gift.

“Man he was so pissed.”Emmet said.

“That’s because he had asked for unreleased works from Mozart from Santa.”Kala had remembered the fit Edward threw when he didn’t get a gift from Santa.

“Have you guys notice that he never gets what he asked for and what he does get are usually inexpensive impersonal things he usually hates?”Jasper thought Santa did that on purpose.

“Now that you mention Santa doesn’t seem to like Edward do they?”Alice hadn’t noticed before but Jasper was right. Santa gave Edward horrible gifts.

“What do you think he did to piss Santa off?”Kala asked.

“Edward wasn’t the only one to piss Santa off. After Carlisle changed Rosalie Santa stopped giving him presents until he admitted to Rosalie that he changed her for Edward to have companionship while waiting for his mate and apologized to her. The Christmas after he did that was when he received the bible.”Jasper reminded them.

“With all this evidence it would seem Santa has a soft spot for Rosalie.”Emmet concluded.

“Do you think that means that Santa wants to date Rosalie?”Alice would love to set Santa up with Rosalie because even though she denied it Alice knew that Rosalie was interested in Santa. Not just because they kept breaking in their house either.

“I’m not interested in dating that psychopath. Not only are they a criminal but I’m waiting for my mate.”Rosalie wouldn’t settle for anyone except her soulmate.

“Let’s get back to what gifts Santa has. They have something that helps them get everyone’s perfect present.”Kala said.

“Except for Edward.”Emmet added.

“They have to have a way to get to everyone’s house in one night. Do you think they teleport?”Kala asked.

Alice thought about it.”How would they carry all the presents though?”

“Maybe that’s why they need all the cookies and milk. They give them the energy and calories to make it through the night.”Jasper suggested.

“That’s perfect!!”Rosalie jumped up from her seat and ran out of the room to Carlisle’s study. She knocked before entering the room.

“Hello Rosalie how can I help you?”It wasn’t often that Rosalie sought him out so Carlisle was very curious to know what she needed.

“I need you to write me a prescription for the strongest sleeping pills on the market.”Rosalie told him.

“Why do you need sleeping pills?”Carlisle almost didn’t want to know.

“The creep who breaks into our house every year drinks the milk and eats the cookies we leave out. To catch them I’m going to put the sleeping pills in the milk.”Rosalie thought her plan was perfect.

“I don’t think Santa would appreciate you drugging him.”Carlisle didn’t want to get on Santa’s bad side because he had received many valuable and sentimental gifts over the years since he apologized to Rosalie and he didn’t want to ruin his relationship with the jolly man.

“It’s the only way to catch them in the act.”Rosalie knew this was the only thing she could do as she had tried everything over the years.

“I’m sorry Rosalie but I’m going to have to decline your request. I want no part in you drugging Santa.”Carlisle told her.

Rosalie growled.”Don’t you understand that a stranger is spying on us and breaking into our house at least once a year maybe more than once a year.”

“Rosalie I have been visited by Santa since I was a small child. The Volturi long before that. Santa is no threat to us. They are literally a beacon of good. The embodiment of joy and giving. Yes he breaks into our home but he does it to make us happy. I mean can you honestly claim that any of the gifts you have received from Santa have not made you happy?”Carlisle knew that Rosalie loved every gift she received from Santa.

Rosalie didn’t even try to deny it.”That isn’t the point. The point is someone is spying on me. Going in my private spaces and looking through my stuff. They even read my diary to get ideas for gifts. It makes me feel violated.”

“Oh Rosalie.”Carlisle hadn’t even thought about how that would make Rosalie feel.”What are you hoping to accomplish by speaking to Santa?”

“I want to know why they are doing it and demand they stop. I don’t care about the gifts. All I want is my privacy. I don’t get it from the family I should at least get it from strangers.”Rosalie didn’t think it was too much to ask.

Carlisle took a minute to think things through. On one hand he thought it was wrong to drug Santa. On the other he felt Rosalie deserved to talk to Santa about his actions. Decision made he pulled out his prescription pad.”Don’t fill these in town and you will need an id that makes you legal age.”

“Thank you Carlisle.”Rosalie was somewhat surprised that he actually went along with it.

Carlisle handed her the script.”You’re welcome and I hope you find the answers you need.”

“I hope so too.”Rosalie told him as she made her way to her room to grab her id. She was happy that Carlisle was helping her and was sure this would work. Then she would finally get a chance to talk to the menace who had been stalking her for so many years. It would be nice to finally be able to confront them. It wasn’t that Rosalie didn’t appreciate the gifts. She did. It was just the violation of privacy and that they went through Rosalie’s personal space and belongings to find out information to pick out those gifts that upset her. Rosalie tried to ignore the little voice in the back of her head that thought that the gifts were sweet and told her un beating heart to stop trying to restart every time she thought about the being known as Santa Claus. It was hard but Rosalie was just going to focus on getting the pills and drugging the prowler.