The Roommate - Chapter 11
Added 2019-01-02 02:13:46 +0000 UTChttps://www.dropbox.com/s/zpinagmpvtgwsz4/The%20Roommate%20-%20Chatper%2011.pdf?dl=0
Let's start the new year right with some of The Roommate! This chapter's a ltitle longer than the last two, though still not as big as I"d like. STill, it provides some nice insight into every character's head and I hope you enjoy.
Comments
*nods* I might need to do a chapter from his perspective and flesh him out some...
Spark
2019-01-05 03:03:37 +0000 UTCPersonally I would perfer to see another view so that Daniel’s character can be more complete but it’s just my criticism. You do you. It’s just that I like your stories too much and i want to provide advice that might help you.
Jay
2019-01-02 19:34:49 +0000 UTCSince I’m not interested cross dressing stuff so I skipped most chapter 9 and 10( I like mental changes and destruction of handsome muscular boys) but I didn’t see any of Daniels friends that worries about him. It seems like he isolated himself to the outside world or something because “woman stopped flirting, male in the house avoid him” it seems like he has a shallow life which is really really sad.
Jay
2019-01-02 19:32:56 +0000 UTCNot sure if I like it. The character development seems pretty weak here because from what you portrayed it seems like Daniel has absolutely no friends. The obvious changes of his chest and bum and no one seems to question them( or u haven’t wrote/that would be next chapter) also, as a male, penis size really do matter, if it’s noticeable change then he should question or struggle or even question Rebecca’s food. Idk, I really like the previous chapters, it’s just that this chapter lacks a lot of things from Daniels perspective.
Jay
2019-01-02 19:30:47 +0000 UTC
