LDQ Vol. 5 pt. 18

It was time to find out what was waiting for me inside the house. So far, all I noticed was that it was suspiciously quiet as I stood outside the front door. I expected to hear them making all sorts of noises, but there was nothing. Not a single whisper.

That made me feel like I was about to walk in on a trap, so I tried looking through one of the windows only to notice that the curtains were closed behind all of them.

Something was definitely up.

But what?

I stood in front of the door for a few moments to think about it, and that was when I remembered seeing some joke videos back in the day online. Videos where a group of girls would be dressed up like maids on their knees waiting behind the door to welcome their master home.

I swear those weren’t porn. They were meant to be ironic, funny videos featuring girls who would never actually do that. As for why they did it, I had no idea. They probably just wanted more attention with something that would go viral on the internet.

That aside, I reached forward to grab the doorknob and took a deep breath.

Whatever was on the other side of the door… I was about to find out.

I twisted the doorknob and pulled open the front door.

Inside was…

Nothing. Well, nobody.

The mystery of where everybody was and what they were doing only grew larger and larger as I looked through all the downstairs rooms, not finding them anywhere.

If they weren’t downstairs… they had to be upstairs.

In the bedroom.

Was I about to go upstairs and find all of my girlfriends dressed up as maids waiting for me in the bedroom? Was I that lucky of a man?

I hoped that I was.

Luca was definitely going to need to put in those earplugs in that case.

Barely able to contain my excitement, I slowly walked up the stairs and reached the closed door to the bedroom. Following another deep breath, I opened the door and stepped into the room to see—!

An empty room.

“What?” I asked.

I looked under the bed. I looked in the closet. I looked out the window.

My girlfriends were all missing.

Now, had I not been in a pocket universe where nothing bad could ever happen, I would have been worried. I would have been worried that they could have been kidnapped or something since they were missing without explanation.

I was only left with a couple of options if they weren’t inside the house.

Either Vala or Window created a portal to another world and took the rest of the girls there, or they were inside one of the other towers. Assuming that they wouldn’t just completely abandon me, I decided to check out the towers.

I wasn’t ready for what was about to happen when I went over to where all the towers were.

A portal opened up out of nowhere in front of me. I thought that maybe I was wrong and that it would be my girlfriends returning from it, but no.

Instead of one of my girlfriends coming through the portal… a pizza delivery girl came through it.

Standing there with black pants, a red shirt, and arms full of pizza boxes stacked on top of each other with smaller boxes of probably breadsticks on top of those, all topped off with a couple bottles of pop, was a young woman who looked way too petite to be holding all of that.

More important than all of that was that her hair looked short and fluffy. It was really cute. I wanted to grope her hair.

But I resisted, especially since the poor girl looked like she had no idea what just happened. Which, to be fair, made sense. She had on the uniform of a popular pizza chain from my world, and she was just teleported to a pocket universe where nothing made sense.

I really couldn’t blame her for looking so panicked.

Even so, no matter how panicked she looked, she didn’t drop a single one of those boxes that were stacked up to reach over her head.

A true professional.

At the same time, she looked like she was on the verge of dropping them as the tower of boxes kept on wobbling around which made her wobble around with them, so I rushed over to take most of them away from her.

“Careful there,” I said. Now that she was spared from holding most of the tower, she was able to actually look around and notice I was there.

The girl stared straight into my eyes and blinked a few times as her cheeks steadily developed a blush.

“You alright?” I asked.

She slowly nodded before looking like a lightbulb just popped up over her head reminding her of what just happened. That prompted her to look around for a few moments before looking back at me and asking, “Wh-where am I?”

“I Don’t Know.”

“You… you don’t?”

“I do. I Don’t Know.”

“How… how can you know but not know at the same time? Are you—are you messing with me? Please don’t… this day has already been really stressful and I’ll cry.”

“Oh. Right.” I realized that the name of our pocket universe was probably pretty bad when it came to others asking where they were. “The name of this place is literally, quote, ‘I Don’t Know,’ unquote. My bad for the confusion.”

“Who names a place that?”

“Long story.” Not really. “Anyways, let me guess what happened. You got an order for a large amount of food, walked out of your store with everything in hand, and then there was a portal there that sucked you in and dropped you off here?”

The girl nodded. “This is probably a dream, right?”

“It’s probably better for you to convince yourself that’s the case.”

“It’s… it’s not?”

“Uhh…”

I wasn’t sure what to say. Either I could be honest and tell her that it wasn’t a dream, which could potentially cause issues unless Vala or Window intended on wiping her memories after sending her back, or I could trick her into thinking it was all a dream so that she wouldn’t go the rest of her life knowing that there’s a pocket universe out there where I was getting spoiled beyond my wildest dreams.

I couldn’t just lie to her, though. Her hair was too fluffy to lie to. “This… is real. But the fewer questions you ask, the better. Trust me. You’re only going to get even more confused if you ask questions.”

“Have I been kidnapped?!” the girl shouted.

“No!”

“Are you—are you going to kill me?!”

“Absolutely not!”

The girl started tearing up. “I’m going to cry if you don’t tell me the truth!”

“You’re already crying!”

Her eyes widened.

Mine did, too.

I looked down at my hand that was mercilessly clawed by my childhood friend’s cat all those years ago.

A random memory rushed into the front of my mind. I remembered that while I never really got along with her, mainly because I had no idea how to deal with a girl even younger than me who was always trying to cling to me every time I went over to visit my friend, my best friend had a little sister. A little sister who was seriously obsessed with me all because I punched her bully in the face once.

That aside, me and her had a routine. It wasn’t intended at all, but it happened every time I visited my friend’s house.

“I’m going to cry if you don’t hug me!” she whined while her eyes were already full of tears.

“You’re already crying!” I shouted at her, every time.

“I’m going to cry if you don’t let me sit on your lap!”

“You’re already crying!”

“I’m going to cry if you don’t come to my birthday party!”

“You’re already crying!”

“I’m going to cry if you keep on saying I’m already crying!”

“You’re already crying!”

Time and time again, we found ourselves in situations where she was threatening that she was going to cry while already crying, and I always called her out on it.

All of those memories came rushing back to me.

And I wasn’t the only one they came rushing back to.

“B-big… big bro Drake?” the girl asked, looking into my eyes with an expression of awe.

That was when I realized I was in trouble.

She remembered my name… but I had no idea what her name was. I didn’t even remember what her brother’s name was. All I remembered was the name of their cat, Clawinator 9000.

I probably should have been more careful of touching a cat’s belly when it was named something like that.

“Ye-yeah, and you’re his little sister,” I replied.

The girl immediately narrowed her eyes at me. “Say my name.”

I had no idea what to say.

“Drake. Say my name.”

“Uh…”

“I’m going to cry if you don’t say it!” she whined while already tearing up.

“You’re already crying!”

“And I’ll cry even harder!”

“What are you, a mandrake?!”

Puffing out her cheeks, she set the pizza boxes down on the ground and pointed at them. “Put your boxes down!”

“Why?!”

“Because I’m going to hug you, and if you don’t let me, I’m going to cry until you drown in an ocean of my tears!”

“Isn’t that way too extreme for a reunion?!”

She balled her hands up into fists and looked like she was seriously about to cry an entire ocean’s worth of tears. So, I set the boxes I took down on top of the ones she just put down and opened my arms for a hug.

The girl didn’t waste any time basically tackling me with her body, wrapping her arms around me and letting out the waterworks against my chest.

“I—I never thought I’d see you again!” she cried. “This has to be a dream…”

“I promise it’s not a dream,” I repeated.

“Then… do you… do you remember what else you promised me?”

For some suspicious reason… I felt worried. I didn’t remember what I promised her, but I had a feeling that I did promise her something important. I could either lie and say yes, in which case she might hold me to it, or I could say no, which might make her cry an entire ocean.

How I was supposed to choose between one of those, I had no idea.

Thankfully, she continued before I could think of how to answer.

“The promise about… how we’d get married when we grew up?” she explained. “You said you’d let me be your bride…”

For the second time, memories came rushing back to me.

It was the day when they were moving away. My best friend’s dad got promoted to a job across the country, so they had to pack everything up and move. I went over to their house before they left. While my best friend seemed pretty depressed about it, he ultimately accepted it and we agreed that we’d play games together someday if we ever met each other again. As for his little sister… she couldn’t stop crying. The waterworks were endless, baffling everybody how her eyes could produce so much fluid.

I remembered that there was one thing she always harassed me about.

Marriage.

It was common for her to threaten to cry if I refused to marry her, but I always did, causing her to cry. It was probably the number one thing she threatened me with.

So, when it came to them leaving and her not being able to stop crying while hugging me, I made her the promise that I would marry her someday in the future. I honestly felt bad for her and wanted to make her feel better. I obviously didn’t believe in the promise.

But, apparently, she did.

“We were hugging just like this when you promised me,” she said. “Do you remember? You do, don’t you?”

“I—I do. I promised you that I’d… marry you. When we were little kids,” I answered.

“Right! And a promise is a promise! I’ve been waiting all these years, even though I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to meet you again!”

“You… you have been?”

She nodded and looked up at me with a wide smile. “I’ve been fantasizing about our wedding for so long!”

“Li-listen… I’ve got to be honest with you. I… have a girlfriend. I actually have a lot of girlfriends. Enough that I lose count. And a kid.”

She tilted her head and asked, “So?”

“So? I have girlfriends and a kid already. Doesn’t that… you know, come across as a problem to you since you want to marry me?”

“Why would it?”

“Because… most normal people wouldn’t want to marry somebody who is already taken and has a kid.”

“Oh, I don’t care about that. I’m happy as long as I still get to marry you.”

“You—you are?”

She nodded again. “My favorite manga are all harem. And like, one of the popular things in them is that there’s a childhood friend who reunites with the guy she loved as a kid after he already has a bunch of girls who like him, so I always thought it’d be fitting if you already have girls who like you when I come back. You already having a harem makes this even more of a dream-like situation for me. Oh, all I ask is that I still get to win even though I’m the childhood friend trope. The childhood friend never wins in harem manga, so I’m going to seriously cry if you don’t let me win, too.”

I could hardly believe everything I just heard, not to mention that I barely even understood it.

And that was when two more voices spoke up from beside us.

“Sweet,” Vala said. “Childhood friend, get!”

“Isn’t this too much of a coincidence?” Window, in her human form, asked.

“I keep telling you all that love is the strongest thing in the universe. Love is what reunited them! And pizza delivery services. Pizza delivery services are the second most powerful things in the universe.”

“Don’t put pizza delivery so close to the power of love!” Me and Window both shouted at Vala.

Vala giggled before coming over to my friend and grabbing her hands. “Wanna hang out with us? We’re having a maid-cosplaying BL sleepover party in Honey’s tower.”

Looking them over, Vala and Window were, in fact, both in maid costumes. Vala made a pretty cute maid… but Window… I knew from when we made Luca, but Window in that maid costume really showed off just how stacked she was. It didn’t help that she was so short which really made her chest look even bigger than it was.

Back to my friend’s little sister, she said, “That sounds fun! Oh, but can somebody open up that portal again so I can go back and let them know I’m quitting?”

“Don’t you think it’s too soon to quit your job?” I asked.

“I’m moving in with all of you, so I’ll just get a job here instead.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Vala said. “We don’t need jobs here.”

“Oh, great!”

“Right? All you have to do is be a cute girlfriend and cuddle and stuff with us all day.”

“I… I get to cuddle with Drake as much as I want?”

“Exactly.”

“And he can’t say no?”

“Well, he might, but you can just cuddle him anyways. And if he’s ever serious about saying no, all you have to do is wear a fluffy sweater or put on some overalls. He’ll do whatever you want as long as you do that.”

The girl took Vala’s hands into her own, looking into her eyes with admiration and respect. “Please teach me everything else there is to know about how to manipulate him!”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.” Vala snapped her fingers, prompting a large, softback book to appear out of thin air with a picture of my face on it. “This is the first edition of the official ‘Drake Strategy Guide.’ It has everything you need in it to seduce him and be the best possible waifu in his eyes.”

I snatched the book out of the air and flipped through it. Somehow… it was full of things I wasn’t even sure about myself. It had all my favorite recipes, my favorite flowers, my favorite hobbies, how I played in games, how I slept and what they could do to make me stop snoring if it bothered them, and more. “When did you make this?!” I shouted.

“Just now,” Vala answered, spawning another one into existence for the girl.

All I could do was sigh and have a bad feeling about the future.

Well, it wasn’t exactly a bad feeling. It was more of a worried feeling. The number of girlfriends I had felt like it was increasing by the day. How was I supposed to keep up with all of them? What would happen if it got the point where I had over a hundred girlfriends? How would that even work? Would we have to get an entire, building-sized bed just to fit everybody on it?

Another sigh left my lips.

We were supposed to battle.

Then we had a fanservice competition instead.

Then we were supposed to battle.

But the girls decided to all get dressed up as maids again.

Then I was supposed to meet the girls in the house.

But they apparently decided to throw a sleepover party while dressed up as maids in Honey’s tower… and they ordered pizza, which just so happened to be delivered by the little sister of my best friend from childhood, who I also just so happened to make a promise to all those years ago about marrying her because I wanted her to stop crying.

I needed to figure out how to clone myself just to keep up with all the women in my life. Especially because I was sure they would keep growing in number.