BrianJNordon : [Removed for Amazon] Quest Academy: Legacies (Chapters 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86 and 87)

There was no struggle in this book. It's just one giant plot armor that lets the story progress. Without struggle and conflict there is just a wall of text explaining how a machine made a breakthrough.

John Donovan

2025-03-15 14:14:41 +0000 UTC

Finally ,interaction with Divinity!!:)

psychomouse1

2025-02-23 20:34:06 +0000 UTC

I haven’t finished book 4 yet I’m on chapter 81 but so far as it stands no disrespect but if Sal doesn’t start having actual problems maybe I’m being harsh but he needs trauma to prove himself that he’s much more than a secluded/cheltered kid/young adult. Like make him get kidnapped by a demon who’s intelligent or make him get lost in a portal alone. Maybe I don’t think the same way as Sal and that’s why I’m not impressed with him but this book is making me dislike him more for some reason anyways sorry for the negative review but I paid and had to give my opinion. Depending on how it ends up I might not continue.. And I mean I like how he does mistakes but why is he such a scardy cat but when he goes on mission he’s a hero, why doesn’t he do mistakes on the actual field that will put his life on the line all alone forcing him do use his full power??anyways I’m just a bit mad of how it’s going

Tommy Lamoureux

2025-02-23 01:28:10 +0000 UTC

Ps. I am one of those audiobook people. And the audio versions are great. Great call with David Wisniewski.

Gabriel Murphy

2025-02-08 23:57:45 +0000 UTC

I randomly found this series last week and loved it. Even called in sick from work yesterday so that I could ready book 3. Part of me wishes Amazon put it higher in the litrpg search so I could have read it earlier, but have to say that I loved having all three books one after another. You have created an amazing world with life like characters. Please don’t stop writing. I will stick with you on Patreon as long as you are writing, and I am sure I am not alone on this. I am hoping poor Sal gets a little more action in the coming books. Poor guy deserves it after all his hard work.

Gabriel Murphy

2025-02-08 23:55:34 +0000 UTC

I lust foubd this series a few days ago. The charcter development is good. But yes it starts to become repetitive... it feels like Sal is overcoming his fear a third time now... And it also feels like his ppwerlevel keeps resetting with each book. At one point one just needs to accept It. IMHO constantly downplaying the MC and resettibg hin just feels weird. That being said, so far its still acceptable, but he really needs to have an epiphany soon and just accept who he is and that he is a freaking monster. Overall absolutely great story and setting setting. Would throw it in s tier with dcc and hwfwm. Keep it up.

Rick

2024-12-29 06:12:49 +0000 UTC

I’ve just binged all 3 released books on Amazon and the current 96 chapters of this one …… wow Keep doing what you’re doing it’s awesome! Ps merry Christmas

Si

2024-12-26 00:29:17 +0000 UTC

I am having trouble opening chapter 86 and 87

Isaak Cisse

2024-12-04 04:35:21 +0000 UTC

question. is the style Petro is teaching Divinity literally called "style" or is that a placeholder for a tbd name

Anthony Jenkins

2024-12-04 02:14:35 +0000 UTC

Tyftc! Love the book name!

Cinque Culver

2024-12-02 20:17:27 +0000 UTC

Hey there big Daddy, thanks for the chapters, your series is great and this book especially! :)

Michael Stewart

2024-11-28 20:17:25 +0000 UTC

When would he have had the time? He was already under a time crunch during his initial testing with the Skill Machine. I don't think he'd have the opportunity for that kind of testing. The machine was under maintenance at the end of the last book. Without it, I doubt that kind of database of weaves is available for access. Also that kind of analysis sounds like the realm of Grant's research. Maybe Sal should reach out there instead. And it's not like Sal isn't thinking of it. IIRC in convo with Sophia, he brought up that it was still a line of thought he was considering.

Zeletavska

2024-11-28 20:01:11 +0000 UTC

Hey boss I think part of chapter 82 didn’t get published page 6 is blank and Mr A didn’t mention training Divinity

James Parker

2024-11-28 17:58:59 +0000 UTC

I'm in for all of it, but trying to helpful feedback, personally I lose track sometimes between what's crafting minutia, magic system expansion and what gear is the movie poster gear and it can all run together a bit. After moving on from the visor and revolver I've been confused at times about what Sal's "thing" actually is, felt a bit lost after that suit got trashed and we did the martial arts level up. I trust the process but I've felt unclear on what we've gained and lost in some aspects since the gala.

Ford Engstrom

2024-11-28 02:13:14 +0000 UTC

There are always "slow" books in series. A series has to follow an arc just like a book. There are some valid critiques in the comments, but overall i say keep doing what your doing.

Will Wittmann

2024-11-27 23:06:54 +0000 UTC

To the reader: I am not caught up as I just started reading book 4 but I will admit to feeling that the story is a little slow, but I also went back and review the chapters in my head and asked myself if there was anything that I would cut and it was a resounding no. This story as a whole sets a slower pace and given the MC is a crafter it’s always gonna fall on the slower side. That’s ok. To the author: I run into this often when I get into stories, as readers we get invested and we have ideas about how we would like to see a story turn out. Every time I have one of these thoughts I have to tell myself “This is not MY story” you are the author and “This is YOUR story” always remember that. You have the vision don’t get to caught up in the comments, write the story that you want to.

DasGoat622

2024-11-27 17:17:15 +0000 UTC

Sal's shift in mentality and fighting style also seem off. Considering the point of the last book where Sal was determined to step up his game and work with his powers he is still willfully ignoring them too much. For example, it seems strange that he has never tried to investigate or simulate what copied abilities would actually destroy his body and which don't. We have clearly already seen with Barry's illusion ability that not every copied ability will hurt him, so why isn't he focusing on finding at least a basic set of tolerable abilities to cover all fundamentals like healing, movement defense and offense to switch between? It's also strange how much focus is put on the martial arts thing when he so far has predominantly used ranged attacks and relies nearly exclusively on abilities and items.

JoBo12

2024-11-27 16:15:18 +0000 UTC

I liked the crafting way better in the previous books. Big part of this is the Arkwrights research capability in particular. It is fine for the Arkwright to automate manufacturing as this can become repetetive especially in scale. But, previously Sal seemed to have a lot more agency in the design and execution of his works while now it seems much like he is just pressing the magic research button on his machine and waiting a bunch and gets good results without shown effort.

JoBo12

2024-11-27 16:15:02 +0000 UTC

I have enjoyed the crafting at every turn. I find the weird logic of babying your child in a world literally full of demons to be fairly unforgivable of the parents. There's no reason not to teach him the magic karate as a pass time growing up. And I think his parents would know that all those extra years of training would be worth their number in dungeon cores. So his parents actions don't seem to line up well with their identities. And then his emotional outbursts are also painful. So he does seem less mature than before since originally he was banging random chicks like a college kid, but lately he seems like a pre-teen. All that being said, it's still been a fun story. Even the part that got revised was still good. Plus I'm only disappointed in random things because I'm invested, probably in some of the right things and some of the wrong things. As much as invested readers might complain, all you should hear is "invested" "invested" "invested" "invested""invested" "invested" that's winning. I don't think it's too worrying to have the readers being miffed or off about one thing or another, especially when as readers we don't see the whole picture. So we don't know what each step is setting up down the road.

R. Maxwell Steele

2024-11-27 07:34:20 +0000 UTC

Book seems like its in a transition, and that tends to make people a bit unsettled. All you can do is keep doing what your are doing. It may be a good time to keep a looser eye on reader feed back.

Daniel B

2024-11-27 05:11:14 +0000 UTC

Character development takes time some people want action all the time don't let it get to you. I miss characters that haven't been around but they all have their own thing they're doing. If you plan to end this book with going back to school maybe make an epilogue and give us a chapters worth a piece of a couple of the other main chars we miss and show us what they've been doing to stay busy? What kinda antics has barry gotten up to? What is divinity locked onto now that the future has shifted after the ball?(Or did that change there were edits around that time?) That's tend to be much more satisfying then hearing them discuss it in char though having both is great especially if they try to downplay something crazy happening

Robert Pitchure

2024-11-27 02:44:33 +0000 UTC

I've been enjoying the story - never figured out what was so much more exciting about fighting than making something really cool - and it's neat to see the parts of crafting technology as well as the strong social interactions. It's so refreshing to have an MC with actual parents - not estranged, not dead, not evil, but supportive. I really am enjoying the characters, crafting, and interactions. Also - I appreciate getting a dump of several chapters at a time - it makes it much easier to follow and enjoy.

Alia Atlas

2024-11-27 00:24:53 +0000 UTC

Perhaps a different way of conceiving of this decidedly imperfect distinction is to frame it in terms of authorial intent. In that sense, structural criticism is intent-preserving. It doesn’t seek to change what the author is trying to do. Instead, it tries to enable it by making changes that would help the author whatever their intent may be. After all, a typo or unintentionally unclear phrasing or plot holes are bad regardless of what an author is choosing to do. Creative criticism is intent-modifying. You’re basically just saying “you did X. You should intentionally do Y instead.” As to that, I will refer you again to my less civil comment above/below.

Asad haider

2024-11-26 21:58:16 +0000 UTC

Right, and the degree to which you accommodate for that reading comprehension is also a creative choice for Brian to make.

Asad haider

2024-11-26 21:51:40 +0000 UTC

Look you aren’t going to make everyone happy so just write what you want to write and what you are proud of

Benjamin Grant

2024-11-26 19:25:55 +0000 UTC

Bro, I am begging you. You cant drop us off at a cliff like this.

C

2024-11-26 19:20:41 +0000 UTC

Other’s dreams and desires of what should be are often the detriment of your own vision. A pendulum of what is beautiful inspiration and thoughtful logical calculation can just as easily be insipid visions that seek to twist and steal the imagination of the author and overpower it. Feedback is great but don’t overly rely on it or otherwise you’ll lose yourself, your vision, and your imagination and joy/life in the stories you write. I’m excited to read the series, because I enjoy the vision and fall into the world you create—your vision. Not someone else’s. ❤️

Mike

2024-11-26 18:59:49 +0000 UTC

You have written 3 very, very solid books already, and book 4 is turning out to be just as solid you are 100% overthinking.

C

2024-11-26 18:34:01 +0000 UTC

Even if he crafted himself into the gauntlet, he can craft himself out again. But I thought it was a funny idea, for him to make his arm a material component.

Alteron

2024-11-26 15:26:52 +0000 UTC

Seems a bit impractical to have the drone attached to his arm as it would throw his balance of having something that is relatively heavy on one side of his body. With all that metal if he weighs 90kg/200lbs then this equipment probably weighs more than 5kg which is the weight of his arm without equipment so you doubling the weight he is carrying on one side of his body. After Divinity spoiled that it's part of a full suit I would have sent it back to the drawing board and put the docking point on his chest or between his shoulders like the Batsuit in the arkham games.

Pickled Rick

2024-11-26 14:36:24 +0000 UTC

The book has been great! I feel like a lot of authors get more comments about these types of between semester books in a school series because it follows a different type of arc then readers of the series are used to. You've used this book to do excellent and interesting world building, character development, and power progression while setting up why Sal will go into portals, dungeons, etc... You have a great story here and are doing a great job.

Derek Zaccheo

2024-11-26 14:09:16 +0000 UTC

they're not cliffhangers if you read it as a book, like it's supposed to be

Jonathan Robichaux

2024-11-26 14:04:59 +0000 UTC

the gun stuff is super valid in this critic i think. +

Jonathan Robichaux

2024-11-26 14:03:04 +0000 UTC

folks don't have reading comprehension, the gauntlet is full arm because their is a drone docking station on the shoulder, so it goes from fingers to shoulder

Jonathan Robichaux

2024-11-26 13:59:29 +0000 UTC

so many people do not understand this concept! "why are there so many cliffhanges!?!?!?" there aren't, you're just not reading it how it's intended to be read, like an actual book.

Jonathan Robichaux

2024-11-26 13:57:20 +0000 UTC

It is important to remember that because he finished the semester early, he had two months of break at home so it is not surprising that it takes an entire book to cover that break

Sam

2024-11-26 13:39:18 +0000 UTC

Things that feel rough on a weekly release often wash out entirely in book form when it's in the format it was paced for.. I wouldn't worry

Justin

2024-11-26 11:51:19 +0000 UTC

I have read your other comments and most are talking about characters. That’s actually my point. Doing overnight crafting is Sals thing. But I just don’t think we need him to spell it all out. For me the strength of the stories are the characters. Everyone was happy to see Divinity back. That’s my point. More character interaction less minutiae about crafting. Crafting is the device to get everything going sure but it’s characters are the story!

Tom Maxey

2024-11-26 11:49:39 +0000 UTC

A lot of people tend to just post their momentary thoughts and inpressions wuthout much thought. You cant take comments too seriously.

Maakolo

2024-11-26 10:48:30 +0000 UTC

Really like this book so far, so keep going! I just have another question, would it be possible for you to upload the pdfs together in a zip file as well ? I don’t know how other readers feel but I dislike reading files in the Patreon app itself, so i download them one by one and use a reader. Would be easier if it’s just one file with all of them in it.

Jakob Büscherhoff

2024-11-26 10:19:32 +0000 UTC

Just finished up these chapters. My previous comment was all about the review and polling situation. I love the chapters. Can't emphasize that enough. Lot of creativity in the crafting Department and I love that he's getting back to the basics. Little curious what you're going to do about him not having the transformation ability on his gloves anymore or if you're going to somehow incorporate that into his new arm because you know Upgrade is going to be upset if he's not willing to work things out with real tools instead of just using essence. Loved the combat with divinity. I love the explanation that his dad gave about her putting her all into developing at a reasonable pace. Still doesn't feel like they've really connected after that big reveal at the end of the last book. It all kind of just got glossed over and they're suddenly cool but there seem to be quite a bit attention building up that didn't get addressed. From earlier in the book it seemed like you starting to build up some resentment toward her and how she's been looking into the future. Whereas in this part it kind of seems like he's putting that on himself as though his thinking was more aligned with him being in the wrong the entire time. It's not exactly how it sounded when it was written. Kind of like how you handle the vision mentioned in the last book about him and Barry and who they would marry. Yes I know that rhymes Shut up I didn't mean to. I'll be honest I kind of wanted to see a little bit more of how his mother interacted with divinity because she seems to be the one that was most interested in meeting her in the previous sections of this book and the others. It seems like she was sidelined. Still I love these chapters and can't wait to figure out what that arm can do.

Jacob Meyers

2024-11-26 10:00:33 +0000 UTC

The world has expanded a LOT in this book. It's still a lot of fun but relative to Saviors it doesn't have the huge moments. In my experience this sometimes happens in longer form stories where the author hits a soft wall of, "I have so much I want to do with all of this but I don't have the groundwork for it in story" so they kinda slow down, recenter and triple the worldbuilding. It feels slow by QA standards but 1: it's a literal vacation in setting, and 2: it feels like the windup for the story going so much further than it initially promised, the book in the series that may not be the most beloved when the series I'd over but that the grand later moments in the series will rest on the foundations layed in this book.

michael pigott

2024-11-26 09:48:32 +0000 UTC

This reflects my thinking - I thought it’d be a short break and back to school. If anything, I think somehow setting the expectation that the book is away from the school and everyone early on is central to the setup of it.

Andrew Tobin

2024-11-26 09:46:24 +0000 UTC

Now that you mention it, facing his fears was a bit of the second book, with the camp and fighting. I think we are facing the root of it with this book though, with Sal facing his parents sheltering him and why.

Andrew Tobin

2024-11-26 09:43:10 +0000 UTC

I think that the creation of the Arkwright dragged on a little bit, and dungeon delving with his father would also profit from being tightened. What I did like about this arc were the revelations about his parents and the big gala, which were cool. Nevertheless, I might have some issues with the current book but I still enjoy reading a lot, so it's not a dealbreaker.

zombie

2024-11-26 08:45:55 +0000 UTC

well for my 2 cents, I think it's fine and excited to hear the series will be long or longer, the MC's primary is crafting and more than the fighting that's what attracted me to the book. so do you as you see fit

Rod

2024-11-26 08:02:15 +0000 UTC

My opinion on the whole Situation, if you are going into the Right Direction or not: Basically, I think it’s okay that there are many Little side-Stories or that there isn‘t a big bad guy at the end Sal will have to face at the end of the book. This book sets the foundation for Many future developments (probably, I don’t know how the story will develop lol). But with this foundation many cool plots etc. could be realised without there having to be the necessary explanations in the following books or whatever. It is true - maybe it isn’t the most exiting, most adventurous book of this series. But I think that’s, again, okay. We saw many major character developments, some crafting and fighting and Sal making new friends. So don’t become self-conscious and doubt your storyline, after 3 (very good) books, it is okay to establish the foundation for the following books and sals 2nd semester.

Volarus

2024-11-26 07:56:33 +0000 UTC

If you open it in an Adobe reader you can put it in to liquid mode which lets you adjust the text size. Not sure if it's available on iPhone but it's worth a shot

Thomas Todd

2024-11-26 07:44:47 +0000 UTC

Separately from my other comment, here’s a more technical observation. You can m, roughly, divide criticism into two kinds: structural and creative. Structural criticism is characterized by the fact that these criticisms would apply regardless of choices you made in terms of plot, character development etc. So for example, typos, unintentionally unclear phrasing, plot holes and timeline issues. These are all problems that result from you not being superhuman and catching every possible error. This is not to say that all of these errors can be fixed without making different creative choices. You may have to make alterations to the plot to fix plot holes or timeline issues. To use a very minor example from this thread, someone asked about whether the gauntlet is full arm or not. This may be because you were unintentionally unclear in your phrasing in that particular paragraph, and you might choose to go back and edit it slightly to make clear that the gauntlet is in fact full arm. Or perhaps you were vague on purpose, in which case you may choose not to. Either way, the criticism is worth paying attention to. The purpose of such criticism isn’t to satisfy a particular reader. It is to remain within the bounds of self-imposed rules. If, for example, you had a non-linear conception of time in mind for the story, then many timeline issues might go away. This kind of criticism should be accepted with the proviso that it doesn’t reflect on your capability as an author, but on your fallibility as a human being engaged in an enormous task. It would make no sense not to carefully accept this kind of criticism. Just take it as you would a comment from your editor—this is kind of their whole job. Creative criticism has to do with your creative choices. It is characterized by essentially being of the form “You should have done X instead of Y because it would have been ‘better.’” So, for example, this would be a complaint about your using a non-linear conception of time and how you should consider doing something else instead. For this kind of criticism, please refer to my earlier, less sophisticated comment.

Asad haider

2024-11-26 07:22:41 +0000 UTC

One of the things that are getting to me is how many mistakes he is making. Every time hes using the machine hes like oops miss clicked. Oh forgot to have perfect running

joey sorrentino

2024-11-26 07:01:41 +0000 UTC

I save the pdf, then go to files. Hit share on the pdf and send it to kindle but make sure you adjust the pdf to be changeable otherwise you are viewing a tiny pdf

Jason Reynolds

2024-11-26 06:53:13 +0000 UTC

I'm not a book critique and I rarely leave reviews for anything, so take this with a grain of salt as it's just a personal opinion. For me, the first issue is that the storyline of Sal overcoming his fear isn't really fun or satisfying and already was one of the main theme of last book. And it feels like the storyline has reached the same outcome as last book, meaning Sal feels more confident but still only sees himself as a Support and doesn't want to be on the front lines. And that's great, but why have a new storyline on him overcoming his fear if we get the same outcome as for book 3 ? Secondly, the Arkwright currently doesn't feel really fun or straighforward. Every two chapters we discover a new functionality and it just end up confusing. The crafting overall has really been confusing for the whole book. Thirdly, there is a pacing issue in my opinion, I feel like this book has a lot of fat and I would have liked the school break to be just an arc among a book and not an entire book itself. This is all the more frustrating because of all the characters and storylines that completely grind to an halt because of that choice. There are too many things that are left uncertain and not concluded. For example, I'm not exactly sure what is the point of dragging the Hannah plotline for that long. Sal and her have spoken like three times in the last three books, why is it still a thing ? just let them break up, especially since it seems a foregone conclusion since book 2. Overall, in the whole series, you have a tendency to introduce a lot of characters which is great, but a lot of them disappear for entire books at a time which is a bummer, I would have liked less characters, but a more focused storyline for them instead of having the entire cast being absent from entire books. Obviously there is plenty that I like overall in the series, otherwise I wouldn't be subscribed to your patreon, so don't take it too hard, it's still an enjoyable read, and I'm sure a lot of people like some of the things I'm criticising here, you can't satisfy everyone.

Kvothar

2024-11-26 06:24:05 +0000 UTC

Mate, don't let everyone else influence you. You're writing a great series because it's your vision. I for one will keep tuning in very happily.

Andrew Irvine

2024-11-26 06:07:18 +0000 UTC

I like your comment simply because he really should have confidence in his work. It's all really good. But I also want to point out that as you write plot holes will pop up all over the place. And it's just nice to have other people help comment on those to fill in the blanks. It would be impossible after three books to fill in every single blank but having people comment on it can be helpful.

Jacob Meyers

2024-11-26 05:55:14 +0000 UTC

As it's the full arm that's being used I would change it from Gauntlet to arm guard. Gauntlet is literally just your fist.

Jacob Meyers

2024-11-26 05:51:11 +0000 UTC

I somewhat get what you're saying. But at the same time, most of us that sign up for the patreon want to try and help better the story with our comments. I know from some experience that getting creative inputs without a community is really hard. That in my opinion is the whole point of patreon. Yes it helps fund the author but it also gives fans and fellow writers a chance to weigh in on certain things that might cause problems in the story. All of this to me is a creative writing review session. Where everybody reads the story and gives creative and helpful input. Yeah some of the comments can get personal because we all have our hopes for where The Story Goes, but I don't think you can invalidate some of the input that we give. I view this entire website as a creative resource and hope that everybody else does. It doesn't make much sense for an author to post his chapters if they don't want that creative input except for to gain adulation for their work as they're doing it. And that puts a real dark spin on the whole site.

Jacob Meyers

2024-11-26 05:33:07 +0000 UTC

Right right! What he should definitely do is ignore all the world exposition he has done throughout the books, ignore the stage 10 calamity that's waiting to happen, ignore why Erika got Sal punched by the golem, ignore why Sal is learning to fight from his parents in the first place, and just keep writing a chill, slice of life, crafting story where the mc spends half the book cooped up inside a workshop. Seriously, it's a goddamn comment. Of course it's an opinion. That's what he asked for isn't it? The author is as always free to take it or ignore it.

Uncle Snoo

2024-11-26 05:27:26 +0000 UTC

He has that issue with Shade. It wouldn't be too hard to create some more tension by having somebody mysteriously dropping off demon corpses in front of the auction house with the warnings and stuff like that. Go full on serial killer vibe. That would create a lot more tension in the overall Arc of the story with a few minor additions. Some threatening notes here, a broken window maybe, maybe even have the skeletal remains from the red zone left in front of the auction house. That'd be kind of cool.

Jacob Meyers

2024-11-26 05:21:54 +0000 UTC

I have to admit, I was tempted to say not to over think it. But there are a few places that need some love. First, you've mentioned several times that the visor doesn't work without the gun. The only deviation deviation from this is during the Scavenger Run mini arch. I assuassumed it was just an unseen plot element at the time. Like he had the gun in a small sling bag or something that nenever got mentioned. So, logically he would have to have the gun with him during the Gala. Which would meant, that it evolved with the visor and it was again an unseen plot element. That doesn’t track however because you say in one of the next story arches that the visor was no longer teathered to the gun and the only plot element that could explain the unteathering is that the visor evevolved beyond the gun at the Gala. The way I see it: You have to either have him armed at the Gala, or you have to figure out a way to work in something that has caused the unteathering. Logically, it makes sense tthat he would go armed to the Gala. He has not idea that his parents are badasses and he knows that there is a legitimate chance that someone would want to kidnap him. Plus, what is the point of him having an invisible holster if he isn't going to carry it with the gun with him? If you have him go unarmed, you're going to have to work in something that guarantees his safety. And it would have to be something big too because he and his parents have just passed off a guild master that, from his skill set, specializes in assassination. If he goes armed, then you run into the issue that you're planning to have him sacrifice the gun to the Arkwright and the gun would have evolved at the same time as the visor. That would have him sacrificing a legendary revolver with evolutionary capable for a possible epic grade. Second, I honestly don't think sacrificing the gun make sense. Unless you are planning to have him transition to an offense that is. As a support, he needs to have the capability to jump in where he is needed but doesn't necessarily mean that he needs to be a frontlinerhto provide offens. The reason we use firearms today is because it is simple to train people how to use them and keeps you at a distance from your enemy. Unless someone's power set involves getting up close with the demons, why get close to fight even of you have training? Since the Essence storm seams to have caused a deviation in the evolution of the visor, you could easily throw the Dominion ability into the revolver's cylinder to help transition though rounds and also the evolved form of Upgrade's ability to include the manufacture of physical rounds to help with opposite like hulkers. Just in my opinion. Take any creative ideas with a grain of salt. Third, I think there needs to be a little more contact with Divinity before and during the Gala. Or you need to have a legitimate reason why they aren't in contact. As it is, there seems like there will be a large build-up of tension between them after the Upgrade memorial. A long silence between them feels like he's acting kind of bitter about that. Especially after you call her actions "meddling" in hhis future. So far, everything you've shown in the story has been her trying to get him to make informed dedecisions except when she guilts Berry in the first book. And that was under duress, so I don't think it counts. Last, the Arkwright seemed too advanced for the story at first. You've mitigated that somewhat in your most recent chapters, but I still think it's too much. When you think about it in comparison to Doc Ameye's work, the Arkwright seems to be making things at the same level as the Doc's AI is. All of the tech the Doc is shown to have created through automation is epic or unique. The barriers, the teleportation device, the trains, and the turrets have never been shown as being legendary or even unique in you books. It's true that Sal haven't evaluated much of the Doc's work, but it seems like something that would have been mentioned. Plus, Upgrade has only been able to improve up to epic until recently, so she wouldn't have been working on any of the Doc's inventions before bbut you mention that she has. I just think that the machine needs to be skilled back in order to not create this giant plot issue. But that's all a issue that could just be me reading too much into the story. Obviously you've introduced some issues with the machine that will limit it quite a bit but it still seems unusually potent for where it should be given that it hasn't had too much time to work on actual equipment.

Jacob Meyers

2024-11-26 05:18:44 +0000 UTC

Those type of critiques are very constructive in nature and helpful to authors! Kudos!

Naotsugu97

2024-11-26 04:49:50 +0000 UTC

💯

Naotsugu97

2024-11-26 04:46:37 +0000 UTC

Brian, This is a perfect example of a consumers opinion. Now let’s extrapolate what is logically involved with incorporating this opinion into the story. You’ve developed a slice of life style story. It sets itself apart from other litrpg style/cultivation style fictions because of that writing style. Creating constant tension with “overwhelming odds, powering up, overcoming odds” is NOT the storytelling style here. Incorporating this suggestion will involve alienating vast majority of readers who specifically seek out the style story you are writing because it represents a sea change in storytelling. Tbh, it costs you more than it gains, imo.

Naotsugu97

2024-11-26 04:40:56 +0000 UTC

Divinity and Sal need to be together..... Like peas and carrots

tim dawes

2024-11-26 04:27:14 +0000 UTC

Soooo, irl I have years of public speaking experience, leadership roles, and editing experience. Also, I grew up with my mother having a PhD in English, with an emphasis on rhetoric. I mention that just to convey that yes, I do know a little something about constructive criticism and inclusion of said criticisms into a better finished product. Your writing and plot line are coming along fine. Really!!! As your “customer” base expands, it will become increasingly difficult to please everyone and/or include every good suggestion. As the creator of a fiction, having unhappy readers is something that is unavoidable. The larger your audience, the more unhappy people you will have. It’s unavoidable math. Focus on parsing out the criticisms that reflect people’s personal opinions. “Story isn’t progressing fast enough” “not enough action” “too much crafting” are all examples of person opinions that can and should be ignored, unless the numbers support it. As an example, if 3% of readers have a particular issue, that can be ignored! Hell, that means 97% do NOT have an issue. However, if 40-50% of readers have the same criticism, it may be worth paying attention to. Ultimately, it is your story. You have to enjoy reading it too! If you try to please everyone, you will never please yourself. Better by far to have a product you enjoy writing and reading! That will (and does) shine through in the quality of what you produce! Okay, novel over. Thanks for humoring my opinion!

Naotsugu97

2024-11-26 04:23:06 +0000 UTC

Great chapters, we got to see Divinity. I thought that Divinity might have stayed over at his parents house to talk more and train over the break. Also, I thought that it was clear that Sal was never mad at Divinity in regards to the vision of Upgrade’s possible death in the future (he was sad & mad that Upgrade died). The only issue being her vision, foretold that timeline as the best outcome for humanity. The other questionable portion was when Sal was talking with his father about the mind blocking device that his mother was ordering for the family to keep people like Ericka out. Couldn’t Sal build something better like that circlet he made for Divinity, since that crafted accessory is way more overpowered.

keoki

2024-11-26 04:15:25 +0000 UTC

Remember that trickster made illusions so realistic that even Barry was impressed so it might be possible

Sam

2024-11-26 04:14:35 +0000 UTC

Fabi is obsessed with drones

Sam

2024-11-26 04:05:42 +0000 UTC

Somewhere in the settings for your viewer you should be able to change the default font.

Preston McIntosh

2024-11-26 03:42:51 +0000 UTC

personal opinion: silver and his parents being OP is sorta dumb but the entire premise is Sal being unreasonably overpowered so who really cares. i do think there should be a more pressing threat once school is back tho

sedael

2024-11-26 03:35:29 +0000 UTC

I wonder why Sal isn't using Cypher on the martial arts. Iirc there was an 'analyzing martial arts' section even before the visor evolved. He could use the visor to deduce/research the higher tiers of the Silverson Arts if Cypher completely analyzed Petro, Sophia, and the manuals. By repeatedly optimizing the martial art to cover for it's weaknesses until it is perfect. Would be even more useful if he could track martial art proficiency for himself. Maybe guide him on what he needs to do to improve.

Uncle Snoo

2024-11-26 03:24:03 +0000 UTC

I enjoy the story and want to read what you feel comes next.

Dawn Zeleznik

2024-11-26 02:53:53 +0000 UTC

I love the story and the pace. It felt really “slice of life” and that’s okay. I don’t see or caught any hints of a world ending threat. I’m happy that there’s no pressure to save the world. There’s real growth and creativity being shown here. The only negative thing that popped out to me with this set of chapters is I don’t really understand or remember why the drones are such an important part of the story. I vaguely recall mentions in the first book and through out but not enough for this last crafting session. Also, a picture of what the gauntlet with a drone attach is supposed to look like would be cool. The image I have in my head isn’t great lol I’m picturing a Thanos vibe glove with a tiny helicopter attached to the top of the hand.

SeanLSJ

2024-11-26 02:52:53 +0000 UTC

Okay, I am here to speak my peace. First, I will say the pacing of this book has been equivalent to that of the previous two or three! Book 3 was a little bit more action-packed because of the tower climb. And sal made a lot of of progress on weave construction. The pace wasn't all that much higher than prior to this. Sal was ultimately operating from a place of ignorance and that had to be assuaged and this was probably the best way of doing it. You establish two reliable narrators. And you also put into perspective his mother paranoia about sal and why she was acting the way that she was. In terms of the quality I would say don't perfect be The opponent of great. We also must keep in mind that the first three books took place over one semester of school here in the states that's no more than 4 months. So in terms of actual days past, this is actually the furthest. We've made it in a singular book in so far. So in closing. Brian, story arcs are going to have their ups and downs their slow points in their action-packed moments. I think you've struck a pretty good balance so far. Also, I think the criticisms are coming from a place of everyone kind of enjoying their own piece of this and then wanting to see more of that. This was a good time to catch sal, up to everyone else in terms capability. He is now working from roughly the same starting point. In addition, we also know him doing this training will enable his body to accept different weaves now, so ultimately our frame of reference for that is completely and totally off kilter. So maybe he'll be able to get some type of combat weave so he can actually be a part of all facets of this world

Charles

2024-11-26 02:37:26 +0000 UTC

So I think you’re over thinking it. But Sals internal monologue before reading Divinity’s message rang a bit out of character for him or untrue to their existing relationship. Also he didn’t send the snap to fabi too?

Robert Smart

2024-11-26 02:37:15 +0000 UTC

I like where this book is going, even though I really wasn't expecting the break to take up what is looking like the whole book. But once expectations adjusted, I have been enjoying and devouring the chapters. His parents are more flawed and negligent than I expected to see in a light hearted series, but I think you managed the follow up discussions well and it enriches the story to have them be less than perfect. There are so many various projects and plot lines you have going that it's hard to remember where any one of them are, but I think that is part of the style of this series and I can appreciate the almost frenetically dense pace of action he takes. In short, I'm enjoying the ride!

BaguaBrady

2024-11-26 02:37:00 +0000 UTC

I think you’re overthinking it, but I will say I’m starting to get a bit confused. I always thought the city/academy built on the launch pad was the last bastion of civilization. With small pockets of reclaimed territory connected to the city/academy through the train network. Now there’s an entire country that exists? Is there a map? I remember one guy from the support class asking Sal to create a visor to pickup radio waves because he hoped there were other pockets of humanity out there. So I wonder how the hunters bureau has any power and how the countries hierarchy is structured. Is there a centralized government? All of this just confuses me.

Mike M

2024-11-26 02:34:38 +0000 UTC

Saying before reading and getting mad at a cliffhanger everyone is teasing. This is one of my top 5 book series and top 3 litrpg. Please change nothing and continue on your book goal. These have been some of the best mix of both worlds in reading and I absolutely love them. So please stay true to you.

Hakalakala

2024-11-26 02:33:58 +0000 UTC

Does anyone have a good way to read these chapters on an iPhone? The pdf font sizes are so tiny on a small screen and I haven’t found anything that works to resize them

Apiris

2024-11-26 01:44:46 +0000 UTC

You are overthinking, but: 😏 I don’t know what everyone else thinks but I got a bit confused/ overwhelmed with all the bits and pieces you bring up and are left open (not a demand to change that) the Silvers legacy, new guild, arcwright ( I call it the rabbit hole 🥰), Fabi’s new powers, a certain guild master who got kicked out of an auction, the next semester, a portal excursion, new exo suit, drones (his base will be a flying drone and not a boring train?!), when will Sal craft his first mythic item…. So this book is clearly a filler Episode. I like it, but the first three books were just so amazing. And maybe there is a bit of fear involved that you can’t keep up, I feel bad writing this but that are my feelings and I want to be honest. Don’t get this wrong I love the story and I think you are doing great! I am hyped and need to wait for more content and that wakes the feeling of uncertainty. Take care do your thing, it will be great.👍

Benjamin Hartmann

2024-11-26 01:39:57 +0000 UTC

Hello Brian, Not too sure if anyone else had this comment for you. I’m waiting for Sal to become friends with Kane and help him. I’m always supportive of the underdogs, Kane has been dropping in the ranks and Sal is aware and worries about him. Thank you

Teri k

2024-11-26 01:34:32 +0000 UTC

Seriously have I read it wrong or does it look like he had a new arm?

Nate

2024-11-26 01:02:57 +0000 UTC

Ah, timezone friends! Yeah, the cliffhangers aren't going anywhere my friend. I'm sorry 😔

James Northman

2024-11-26 00:59:03 +0000 UTC

Nope, apparently I'm just bad at words at 1am. I meant cliffhangers

Tom

2024-11-26 00:58:15 +0000 UTC

Sorry Tom, could you explain this one to me. Are you talking about the Discord Spoiler chat for Patrons? Or me referencing things in the body of text before posting?

James Northman

2024-11-26 00:53:57 +0000 UTC

The main feedback I have is: Stop with the spoilers (cliffhangers*)... please... Im begging you...

Tom

2024-11-26 00:52:03 +0000 UTC

Still waiting for someone to notice that divinity wants in.

Charles Gillentine

2024-11-26 00:38:01 +0000 UTC

tftc

CamChains

2024-11-26 00:30:32 +0000 UTC

I didn't think of it that way. Sorry if it was. I enjoy the idea of naming things as a clue and foreshadowing of stuff. And I love using AI for help naming stuff. I did not use it to alter or change any content or even change the story in any way just the name of something that to me seamed like a place holder. I used it like I would use Google I asked it identify the subject and for it to provide a list of names. Like using Google to provide a list of names to name your characters. It is less generic but it dose give some good options and get the bbrain moving sometimes.

gideon ferrier

2024-11-26 00:28:55 +0000 UTC

Yup this is it. This book felt very safe for Sal. Imo, there should a) be potentially more foreshadowing of a uncertain future - ie we hear that human conclave in NY are going silent or something, and b) more build up to a climax or central conflict for this book. Ultimately though, I still really have been enjoying the book and I don't think there are any major flaws. Plus we aren't even through it yet.

Nick Barrett

2024-11-26 00:28:12 +0000 UTC

But would the illusions give off essence signatures?

Nate

2024-11-26 00:20:35 +0000 UTC

(Weeeelll, you did refer to the "grab handles" or "oh shit handles" as "handle bars" in the private car the Agento boys took to their dungeon run.) Seriously though... QA is an interesting story with engaging characters that I'm already emotionally invested in. Even if you completely ignore my critiques going forward, I like your style and will be getting books 4, 5 and 6 on kindle. Your edits have kept the characters true to themselves. Thus far, Quest academy's storyline flows logically and naturally. It's temporal pacing is significantly slower than Super Powerds where each book spans a year. But it's on par with Vampire Academy where each book roughly spans a few months. Plot pacing is good but not great. The character development of our MC and supporting cast is good. I actually like that the first years aren't tossed into these big conflicts after only a semester of training. But... it's already book 4 and there is a dearth of plot movement towards resolving the looming conflicts (demon invasion, Bastion, big fuck of dragon). So, not great. Since Sal's a crafter I kinda consider his tinkering time as part of his action sequences. You know like pill refining in xianxia series with cauldrons and materials exploding, tribulation lightning, crafting tournaments etc. And while its cool to see exotic mats, new gear and unique stats and abilities... Sal's crafting action is kinda boring because there are no stakes. Sal messed up the arkwite essence programming and... nothing happened. Arkwite messed up the Mythmark macros and... Sal used extra essence to nuke a dungeon. No imminent arkwite meltdown, or volatile synthesized material explosion, or mythmark friendly fire rampage or rpg style loss of mats for failing high lvl recipe that Sal has to frantically mythcraft his way out of.

Chris Collins II

2024-11-26 00:19:05 +0000 UTC

Context: I think one of the biggest flaws, if you can call it that, is the non-existent sense of danger. Our worldview as readers have been too one sidedly in favor of human superiority despite us being told that humans are losing the war. We have been told that the demons are dangerous, that the Bastion are bad guys, but we simply haven't been shown evidence (personal experience by Sal) of that. The calamity in book 1 was thwarted too easily imo. And demons are killed way too easily in the story. I know it's because they're mostly low level but still. Of course I'm not saying we need to change that or anything that's already written but it's probably time to course correct. I think the coming portal expedition is an excellent opportunity for things to go horribly wrong for Sal. Validate his original fears just as he's about to overcome them. It might involve a character death, like Raven or Chatfield in an attempt to save his life (i vote these two coz it might cause a temporary rift with Upgrade, that could be interesting). Someone he knows so the experience is personal. That demons are not to be trivialized. Then make him come out of it, mentally stronger and more resolute.

Uncle Snoo

2024-11-26 00:16:51 +0000 UTC

O come on not again. a week wait is going to kill me. I want to know what it does. 😅

gideon ferrier

2024-11-26 00:13:51 +0000 UTC

You are a gifted writer. I joined your Patreon and buy your books for that reason. I don't think the Patreon members are a good measure as they are a small percentage of the mainstream readers in my opinion. You have the nerds on Patreon. I get bored and skip over all the minutia of crafting. Not interested in all the void this and Hulker that. The interactions with the strong characters you have created is for me what I love in your books. I have thoroughly enjoyed the introduction of Sal’s patents and Fabi. The scene where Sylvia Doc Upgrade etc. came together to save Fabi should be the cover. Spend more time with great interaction with the characters. I think a low percentage of the mainstream are interested in all the crafting stuff u describe ad nauseam. I skipped over about half of your chapters that had the intricacies of crafting, but I read every word with Sal, Petro and Sylvia and the dungeon. Bringing in Divinity was great, I missed her. More interaction with your amazing characters, less crafting

Tom Maxey

2024-11-26 00:11:19 +0000 UTC

Listen man, it's good story/world building. Don't get too down about. It will pay dividends when you get to the more exciting stuff and have a strong foundation in you characters and the world you've created. Personally, it's all read as pretty necessary to set up the rest of the series.

Gregory Segall

2024-11-26 00:10:03 +0000 UTC

I always assumed at least some of it was an illusion, especially after the red barrier was supposedly removed

Sam

2024-11-26 00:08:44 +0000 UTC

At the end of the day, I just hope that it helps you to feel more confident in your ability and aids in highlighting any areas of concern so that you can not just grow, but thrive while moving forward in your dreams. Thanks for taking the time to reply. Cheers!

Deko

2024-11-25 23:59:59 +0000 UTC

First time commenting. I want to say I'm loving the crafting, The world building, and the character development. You're doing a fantastic job. I think some people are struggling with the format of these books. That each book is part of a wider world, a larger continuing story. My suggestions are to add utilization and discovery through the crafting. I feel you did a good bit of this with them taking the suit out to a dungeon to test. Where it fell a bit flat was how abrupt it ended and how the story line continued down a different path before there was a satisfying connection to that creation. For instance, if you were to take the story line with sal discovering the truth of his parents past then the conversation with fabi, into the training and dungeon excursion with his Sal's father, culminating in a confrontation with his parents and then moving back into crafting and testing. The entire process would feel more satisfying as there is a solid sense of progression. It would then feel satisfying to dive back into the suit with the connection to fabi to help progress that line of story and set up sal for the final confrontation with his parents where he comes to terms with their past, blending the creation of his suit with the past of his parents and their new relationship. That way everything feels substantial and impactful to the progression of the story. This is just an example. I think you're doing amazing. Monday is my favorite day of the week. The number of times I refresh my email would be embarrassing if I wasn't so impressed with the story.

Harrison Mayfield

2024-11-25 23:51:05 +0000 UTC

Last comment I swear (maybe) WHAT THE FUCK DID ROBERT DO IN THE TOWER TRIAL STAIRWELL TO THOSE DEMONS IF THATS NOT HIS POWER???? Now I don’t if I trust Robert anymore or not. 🤯

Nate

2024-11-25 23:49:16 +0000 UTC

Thank you so much for this Deko, I really appreciate you taking the time to write all of this. You're absolutely right about the 'off' feeling, and I really needed this swell of positivity from the readership. I felt very conflicted because while I trust myself and the story, I felt like I was letting people down with focusing on the foundations rather than quick payoffs. Thanks again for the thoughtful reply. :)

James Northman

2024-11-25 23:47:04 +0000 UTC

Lol

Alteron

2024-11-25 23:42:59 +0000 UTC

I find feeding the work of an author into chatgpt and then giving them the ai feedback terribly offensive

Jonathan Robichaux

2024-11-25 23:40:36 +0000 UTC

Full Arm :)

James Northman

2024-11-25 23:39:14 +0000 UTC

So I’m going back and re-listening to the series while I wait for the next one. I really appreciate how Sal’s dad pretty much did Rust’s combat class and got Sal proficient. Fighting with out essence. I’m enjoying seeing the base of the classes coming through with his parents being honest.

Daniel

2024-11-25 23:38:42 +0000 UTC

I posted chapter 83 into chatgpt 4 with the question and got back a few good results. Based on the context in your document, "Style" seems to reflect precision, adaptability, and strategic movement. To rename this martial art in a way that complements these characteristics, here are some suggestions: 1. Specter Arts - Emphasizes stealth and precision, drawing from the assassin-like qualities Petro teaches. 2. Vision Flow - Reflects Divinity’s ability to see into the future and use predictive movements. 3. Shadow Weave - Highlights the fluid and evasive nature of the martial art. 4. Celestial Form - Adds an ethereal quality, connecting with Divinity’s unique abilities. 5. Phantom Strike - A name that combines agility, precision, and power in one phrase. 6. Chrono Style - Ties in with time or foresight elements, especially given Divinity's visions. Would you like a specific type of symbolism, linguistic inspiration, or thematic direction for refining these suggestions? If the focus is on adaptation rather than the assassin theme, here are some options that emphasize versatility, fluidity, and strategic adaptability: 1. Evolvance - A fusion of "evolution" and "advance," highlighting growth and adaptability. 2. Flux Form - Evokes a sense of constant movement and adjustment. 3. Aether Flow - Suggests fluidity and the ability to adapt like the intangible element of aether. 4. Versal Arts - Derived from "versatility," emphasizing the art’s adaptable nature. 5. Resonant Flow - Reflects harmony with an ever-changing environment. 6. Shifting Horizon - Implies boundless adaptability and vision. 7. Unity Dynamics - Combines adaptability with balance and interconnected motion. 8. Morphic Path - From "morphic," meaning shape-shifting or adaptable. 9. Primis Arts - Suggests foundational adaptability, always returning to the core principles while evolving. 10. Adaptive Essence - Encapsulates the core philosophy of evolution and versatility. Would you like me to refine any of these further or incorporate cultural or symbolic inspirations?

gideon ferrier

2024-11-25 23:34:06 +0000 UTC

That's super helpful though! I bet most authors appreciate the free editing help. I know I would. I'm not good at that though I get sucked into the writing so easily and the movie starts in my head I miss the mistakes. 😅

Michelle Ray

2024-11-25 23:34:02 +0000 UTC

I was thinking of a different name of the "style" arts. Because of the confusion when using a style called style. What about Morphic Path - or Morphic style - meaning shape-shifting or adaptable

gideon ferrier

2024-11-25 23:32:12 +0000 UTC

It's great to see Divinity back in the mix. Also, the fact that Sal realizes that equipment alone won't help him survive dungeons and portals speaks to his growing maturity. Some of your Patreon members have commented on the pace of your story. I see it as a gradual coming of age and that Sal's relationships with other characters is a key part is the story's evolution.

Ron Blondeau

2024-11-25 23:31:25 +0000 UTC

So does Sal now have a mechanical arm or will the gauntlet come off?

Nate

2024-11-25 23:28:39 +0000 UTC

personally, I try to only point out grammar/logic inconsistencies, which just slightly bother me sometimes.

dragon

2024-11-25 23:27:55 +0000 UTC

Thanks for the chapters. Don’t worry about the feedback, we all love your work. And you have proven time and time again that you know how to craft your story. My thoughts are that that the former books were more linear, and this book is more of a theme. Where the theme is growth for Sal. Which sets up perfectly for the next semester. There’s nothing wrong with the book and I love it.

Alteron

2024-11-25 23:26:46 +0000 UTC

Your stories are great and I'm always happy when new chapters come out.

Joanne Hans

2024-11-25 23:17:11 +0000 UTC

Comment on Chapter 82: When Petro and Sal are driving around in the classic car, it totally reminds me of when my friends and I drive around in our old Willys Jeeps. As one friend commented, 'When you're riding in one of these, you just can't keep the smile off your face.' And wanting to wave to everyone that looks. Great little paragraph!

Deko

2024-11-25 23:16:22 +0000 UTC

Thank you for more chapters but dang what a place to leave us for a week. Now I'm just looking forward to next Monday all the more. Don't let the comments get you down, we are all here for the story YOU are writing not for the story a commenter wants. Personally I'm always nervous to comment because I never want to influence authors. I'm here to read what they come up with not what I dream up. A story that inspires us (the readers) to day dream up scenarios and ideas is a master piece. You've managed that, keep it up. I think the comments about pacing will iron out when they can read the whole work in book form and not chapter by chapter. It takes a different mentality to read chapter releases verse a complete book.

Michelle Ray

2024-11-25 23:16:20 +0000 UTC

I think you know what you want to write and should just do it. I do agree with Deko about looking at the major and minor themes and making sure the story is flowing the way that you want it to. I've said before that I had different expectations. It sounds like others have done that as well. No matter what I think, it's your story. I'm just here to watch and enjoy and I'm absolutely doing that. The writing is good. Impersonator syndrome is a real thing and I hate that you are second guessing yourself on that level. You are an excellent writer and this series is cementing that fact in the eyes of the LitRPG Community. Your fan base is larger than just the Patreon.

Chris Hoopes

2024-11-25 23:13:08 +0000 UTC

This is my favorite book so far, and that’s before it’s even been edited! On that note, not giving us the appraisal this week was a dick move!

Sloth

2024-11-25 23:10:48 +0000 UTC

Chapter 81 when he's messing with the designs Sal says he was thinking about putting the drone in the shoulder of the gauntlet. Is it a full arm gauntlet or hand to elbow?

Natox Biohazard

2024-11-25 23:10:36 +0000 UTC

As one of the people who has given some criticism about the state of Book 4 I just want to say even the best authors I have found in this genre write filler books/arcs that drag the story down pace wise especially when they make their MC too powerful too quickly. The two important things I would say is firstly it's ultimately your story and you should tell it how you want to tell it. Has this book been slower than your first 3 sure but it's important that you don't lose sight of where you want Book 5 and 6 to go just to appease me and a few other readers. Secondly it's all about payoff. If Sal gets a big pay off after all the build up with his parents fighting style and a machine that can automate production to cut down on filler later then that's fantastic. All the negativity of this book will be forgotten in 50 more chapters. If you go the way Aleron Kong and his Chaos Seed series and just give up then you will prove all the negative comments right. I want you to prove us wrong so I am throwing down the gauntlet.

Pickled Rick

2024-11-25 23:05:54 +0000 UTC

This book so far feels like more growth for Sal. He had a lot happen in book 3 with the Perfect skill, and more. This feels like he’s finally getting to take a breath and see where he’s at with everything and how his growth will work in his second semester. Sal has a lot to build toward: working with upgrade again, learning to be a guild master, and so much more. He may have figured some stuff out, but his perspective may get flipped on his head once’s he’s back to school and learns more

Scott Gable

2024-11-25 23:03:23 +0000 UTC

Hold up! so even Sal marrying Fabi was Divinity just messing with them as well. “I threw in Fabi as a name”. First off wholly shit I love her for that she is so devious I love it. Second wholly crap Brian way to pull a subtle twist in there.

Nate

2024-11-25 23:03:03 +0000 UTC

I have been enjoying the recent chapters. I like the improvement in family connections 👌

Shannon Bryce

2024-11-25 23:02:02 +0000 UTC

With all due respect, f*** the complaints. Those of us here who your story love it regardless of whether we think it could be better or different. And we recognize that it is your story to write. We aren’t entitled to a story of our choosing—that’s literally not how reading stories works. Anyone who can’t see that is, with respect, an idiot. You do you, and we’ll be right here cheering you on.

Asad haider

2024-11-25 22:59:32 +0000 UTC

Mr. Nord, I don’t normally comment on any of the Patreon as I feel I fell in love with the aurthors work. Who knows the story better than the author? No one. I understand you feed off of your community, but it this case, don’t. I think you explaining the process should be enough for the readers to understand this is important for long term growth of the series in general. Just keep writing. These books have made me cry, yell at, yell for, gasp, laugh, and just generally celebrate the entire story and the world you’ve woven for us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Christopher Spake

2024-11-25 22:57:29 +0000 UTC

Okay done edits. Sorry it went longer than I had originally anticipated... wait a second. ;)

Deko

2024-11-25 22:57:11 +0000 UTC

When I teach the second half of World History (since 1500), the very last slide on my very last lecture is the invention of social media, and the last thing I tell my students is "we still don't know, historically, what the effect of this is going to be." Comment sections are just like social media; their beauty is that everyone's voice is able to be heard. The downside is that everyone's voice is equally loud. One of the downsides of the serial publication model enabled by Patreon, Royal Road, etc., is that it suffers from the same problem of television: you can tell when a chapter/episode is off, but stories have to be judged as a whole, not one paragraph at a time, and you, as the author, are the only one who knows where it's going. Many years ago, one of my guilty favorite shows to watch was the first season of Spartacus. The first three or four episodes were utter trash. But something happened mid-season, and it suddenly became one of the best shows on television (for me). Comment sections are good for getting quick temperature reads about whether something important landed and readers catching things that seem inconsistent/nitpicky continuity issues. They aren't good for telling you whether you're telling the story correctly. If I want to know whether I'm a good professor, I ask a colleague. If I want to know whether a class liked me or not, I read student evaluations. You should tell the story you want to tell in the way you want to tell it. And if you're worried, find the authors and colleagues that you trust and ask them.

Lacan

2024-11-25 22:50:01 +0000 UTC

This is your story, I love it as it is. Don’t change anything if you don’t want to, this book will be a huge hit as is

Erik Van Norstrand

2024-11-25 22:46:39 +0000 UTC

Story is great for me. I'm loving the fact this is his self driven desire to be more not the school pushing him. Also loving how in-depth we've gone with the crafting and the family relationships. Those are the people his original foundations were built on. Would have left a bad taste if he'd done his own thing with friends drifting away from his family. Keep it up, I'm loving it 👍

JP

2024-11-25 22:44:33 +0000 UTC

Also want to say I am really enjoying the crafting of the archwright as well as the suit designing work. Can’t wait to see how that plays out.

Martin Ralph

2024-11-25 22:42:57 +0000 UTC

I’m going to go back and read being to present of this book. There’s a lot of great content in this book. The disconnect, if there really is any. Could be done with minor tweaks at the end. Maybe an off and on snippets of text between Sal and the other characters that aren’t the focus in this book. Like a random text from Divinity to Sal. But I like the story line. I like the change up.

Lisa Johnson

2024-11-25 22:42:57 +0000 UTC

I've felt that the tone of this book has been great. It feels like more is happening this book than last book. And that's not a dig at the previous book, just a comparison of the two. Not everyone likes crafting, but I really like reading about it.

ElJako98

2024-11-25 22:40:47 +0000 UTC

Ok so I voted the story line needs some adjustments, my only issue is pacing. We are 80 chapters in and we’ve not made major progress in terms of timeline. He is still on holiday at his parents place. It’s easy for me to critique and I like the story, but I just think things happen too slowly which is frustrating to me

Fast Lance

2024-11-25 22:39:07 +0000 UTC

This has honestly been one of my favorite arcs. Keep up the good work.

Jens Wessling

2024-11-25 22:38:40 +0000 UTC

I really like this book, feels like a breather after a ton of high stakes stuff while at the same time progressing some of the stuff we haven't seen recently, like Sal really digging into his crafting. It also highlighted where he was and how far he still has to go.

Thomas Todd

2024-11-25 22:36:01 +0000 UTC

While its important to value feedback, don't let anyone poison your work - its yours, and yours alone. We are just along for the ride . I hear the hardest part about being an Author is public scrutiny, especially with haters and know-it alls spamming the comments, so just trash the trash that seems trash to you and you should be fine. ;-)

Jens Bernhardt

2024-11-25 22:34:28 +0000 UTC

I voted that the book needs some story line adjustments. I am loving it so far and I feel it’s covering a lot of great bases, such as his family history and the hunters guild goings on as well as its various members. It does feel to me like the timeline is wrong or has dragged a bit for this book so far though. A lot has been going on and it feels a little odd that it’s all been crammed into a school break. But then again he finished a couple of weeks early with permission. From quest after finishing the tower early so maybe I’m reading into it too much as well.

Martin Ralph

2024-11-25 22:32:29 +0000 UTC

It's a difficult thing to address. Like I've said in previous posts, what you have so far works. It works well for what it is and there really is no reason to go back and change things really. Full stop. As an engineer, I'm always looking at ways to tweak/optimize systems and I know when I'm doing my own writing, if I don't hit send, I'll begin to get stuck in the optimization loop of trying to make every chapter better, then every paragraph and then every sentence until I'm shifting and moving everything around and all of a sudden I've got an entirely different story. Ask yourself, 'What theme did I want major, and what theme(s) did I want minor in this book?' Then look at what you've written, is the major theme what you wanted, and does it consistently stay major throughout? Are the minor themes represented well and do they flow around the major theme without feeling clunky? And finally, does it fit within the time frame that you wanted to cover (in this case, the entirety of the break between years.) School arc books tend to deal with the breaks in rapid fashion, Harry Potter, for example, it's usually just a chapter to start every book that deals with what happened over the break, keeping it fairly short and concise. In your case you have a lot of things going on, that likely wouldn't work inside the school semester; building the guild infrastructure, exploring dungeons, learning to fight from his father and mother, and building the Arkwright. That said, as a reader in this setting, there's clearly an impetus to move onto the second year of schooling where Sal will continue to grow and that will be the major theme pushing the story forward. When you're in a break situation we're seeing personal growth in the character, with pieces being arranged, but the major thematic element of the story isn't really advancing because we're disconnected from Quest Academy(QA) at the moment. For some series, they would insert some thematic event that would cause Sal not to go back to school, or that the academy would be destroyed, or something so that the major theme jumps away from the academy and transitions to whatever the new arc is. Because you don't have that (and this is not a bad thing) as we're going back into second semester, this novel will feel like an interlude as we're avoiding the major thematic setting that is QA. However, this also happens to likely be your longest book yet in which you don't get to really play any of your QA cards, so it will feel slower as a result, not because of bad writing, or thematic frustration, but simply because of the disconnect from QA. Before you read this next paragraph, go back to the top and read my first paragraph again, just to remind you that things are good as they are. Perhaps something to look at when you hit the next break in the years (between 2nd and 3rd years) think about how you could condense the period to a shorter novel (if and ONLY if, the major thematic theme doesn't shift away from QA). I do feel that you could have told the story you wanted to tell with about a 15-20% reduction of chapters in this book, which may have even made it easier on you as you wouldn't have had to type as much, while still hitting each of your points and thematic elements well. That said, I will refer back to the first paragraph. It reads well, it's written well, it's good as it is, it's your first MC only character growth QA break novel and that's okay. You hit your stride by the third novel during the first year of QA, and you can (hopefully) freely admit that the first novel likely felt more difficult to write than the third. It's going to be the same way with this novel as it's thematically different than what you've written so far, so you're going to experience feeling like you're starting all over again, even if you can't put it to words why it feels 'off'. It's good, it's fine, come back to the thoughts you had about book 4 when you get to book 8 and grow from there. Great work Brian, and keep on writing, you've got a wonderful series here, don't let the brain worms pull you down.

Deko

2024-11-25 22:26:31 +0000 UTC

Brian, you're a genius in the first place and you're writing a series that no one else can because it's your series. There will always be opinions and thoughts from others but in the end we're here because we love what you're writing and we want more of what you want to write. Write what feels right to you. If a thought intrigues you, then you can decide to run with it but don't let this series become about what the fans want. You started this and your genius is what we're coming back for. Please don't doubt yourself. You're doing great!!

RJ_Wilkie

2024-11-25 22:25:42 +0000 UTC

I love the book, and most of it was truly amazing. I’m probably one of the people who cried about their favorite character not being there much, but to be honest, that might feel more noticeable because we read the chapters over such a stretched-out time. If I read the final book all at once, I doubt I would even notice it that much 😁. I suggested some storyline adjustments, but I want to be clear that I don’t mean changing the story itself. Rather, I’d like more explanation or reasoning behind certain parts. For example, when he created the Arkwright blueprint, all the information about his skills and tools indicated that doing so was impossible. While that made the scene feel great as it was told, I kept having this nagging feeling that it shouldn’t work.

Frilas Gilneas

2024-11-25 22:24:08 +0000 UTC

Was really hoping that Divinity’s message at the end of chapter 1 was something like “What did you do?!?”

Sloth

2024-11-25 22:23:56 +0000 UTC

Mate. I started reading because of the story you write. Not because of the story 'we' make you write. Do it because you want to do it, not because someone makes you. I'll still be on for the ride. 👍 Cheers and appreciation from an Aussie (Australian) follower

Scotty

2024-11-25 22:23:29 +0000 UTC

Obligatory you can't please everyone's aside, on a more realistic level you're the captain of the ship here. You know the plan for the story, where you want to take it, and how you want to get there. We don't. The people complaining don't. While taking valid criticisms of the story into advisement can be helpful, reading too much into complaints from those whose only context is what is in front of them and not the road ahead is not.

Patrick Welch

2024-11-25 22:19:03 +0000 UTC

I swear, I was just thinking about how I was going through withdrawals for this. Thank you for the chaps

Charles Gillentine

2024-11-25 22:18:53 +0000 UTC

I wanted to say the exact same thing. Adding my own thoughts on top of Ishaar's, I have loved the way you built the world and find it refreshing to have a story where not only do we have well executed fights but also very well executed character building. I think you should trust your own balance between these things cause that's what makes your book/books special!

marco kuzmina

2024-11-25 22:18:44 +0000 UTC

I suspect that a lot of the comments that are coming across as particularly critical are a consequence of the lack of time skips that are used in the story. It's a good thing and I feel it makes for an overall better story however if you're reading it in smaller sections it'll make things feel like they're a lot further apart than they actually are. In practice I think this series reads better trilogy to trilogy rather than chapter by chapter of these weekly releases. You're building something substantial and that requires foundation but it's hard to build foundation that's satisfying to watch in real time while only seeing it in 30 minute segments.

Supremagorious

2024-11-25 22:17:11 +0000 UTC

Not every book needs to end in a big battle. If anything that gets too predictable.

Sébastien Kingsbury

2024-11-25 22:16:31 +0000 UTC

Book 4 has been perfectly fine to me. It's an in between arcs book and I love them. There's been plenty of plot points with the auction, the arkwright, the dinner and all it's associated stuff, sals parents, blowing up at them finally. The only things I would change is all venting at both his parents at the same time instead of back to back and the kind of glaring plot hole that is silver. The reason you gave in discord is perfectly acceptable, but definitely needs to be addressed in the book after sal is told about it

Jonathan Robichaux

2024-11-25 22:16:18 +0000 UTC

Just keep at it. I like this for what it is. I read kill, kill stuff in other stories. If you want to people please, just have some character's drop by for coffee and a train.

The Foolish One

2024-11-25 22:16:07 +0000 UTC

I love your stories. They are your stories and you decide how you want to write them. Bugger everyone else. Just chin up and type on 🫂🫂🫂🫂

Chandni R

2024-11-25 22:16:06 +0000 UTC

Write for you dude. It's your story not ours.

Aaron Simmons

2024-11-25 22:14:57 +0000 UTC

To be honest just write the story you wart to write, im just happy to read them

Valentin

2024-11-25 22:14:36 +0000 UTC

Don't let them get to you. It's a good read.

Aaron

2024-11-25 22:14:23 +0000 UTC

While I voted to keep writing and I am enjoying your books. If your are going to change something I would change the time line a little. Make hime go back to school faster (maybe a day or so after the party) and have the parents take a small vacation to see him at school instead to make it up to him for the lies. However this is not necessary and I just a passing thought.

gideon ferrier

2024-11-25 22:14:07 +0000 UTC

well said.

Nate

2024-11-25 22:14:04 +0000 UTC

Embrace Dory the fish: "Just keep writing, just keep writing, writing, writing." People are going to gripe no matter what you write, lacking any other agency in something they really enjoy, namely your writing. When your writing doesn't match what their mental script says should happen, the griping gets louder. You know this already. Listen, ignore it, whatever, just keep writing.

daGrimm

2024-11-25 22:13:59 +0000 UTC

I think there's a bit too much chatter in the Discord that amounts to people trying to get you to write their story. I hope you don't take it too much to heart, because while I'm sure it comes from a good place it's all useless. You can't tell someone else's story.

Ishaar

2024-11-25 22:12:14 +0000 UTC

Thank you. I do the best I can. ;)

TJ Lombardi

2024-11-25 22:11:07 +0000 UTC

I’ve loved every aspect of this book, keep doing what you are doing.

Keith Winn

2024-11-25 22:10:49 +0000 UTC

You do you and tell your story. I and the majority of the people here support that. Don’t compromise your art for a few who don’t have the entire vision.

Don

2024-11-25 22:10:27 +0000 UTC

Love your work in the skills class Professor Lombardi :-)

Nate

2024-11-25 22:10:26 +0000 UTC

People fell in love with the story and world you built. Let the characters lead you where the story needs to go as you write. You'll never please everyone, and at the end of the day if you're not happy with the story you wrote, because you're trying to just please others rather than yourself or the characters you've created, than that would be the greatest tragedy.

TJ Lombardi

2024-11-25 22:08:51 +0000 UTC

Stick to the story you want to tell. 🙂

Nate

2024-11-25 22:07:48 +0000 UTC

Love the writing whichever way you take it.

Robert Sartin

2024-11-25 22:07:46 +0000 UTC

I think this book is a time of self discovery for Sal and it's a set up for his future. I've enjoyed most of everything so far so I'd say you should just keep trucking along.

Andy Gray

2024-11-25 22:07:36 +0000 UTC

Thank you for the chapters, I’ve loved this book as it’s shown Sal’s growth and layed a solid foundation for future plot lines.

Nate

2024-11-25 22:07:29 +0000 UTC

This has been my favorite book in the series by a large amount fwiw

Apiris

2024-11-25 22:07:05 +0000 UTC

Just started to look for something to read

gideon ferrier

2024-11-25 22:05:55 +0000 UTC

Perfect timing 👌

gideon ferrier

2024-11-25 22:05:44 +0000 UTC

[Removed for Amazon] Quest Academy: Legacies (Chapters 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86 and 87)

Comments

There was no struggle in this book. It's just one giant plot armor that lets the story progress. Without struggle and conflict there is just a wall of text explaining how a machine made a breakthrough.

Finally ,interaction with Divinity!!:)

Ps. I am one of those audiobook people. And the audio versions are great. Great call with David Wisniewski.

I’ve just binged all 3 released books on Amazon and the current 96 chapters of this one …… wow Keep doing what you’re doing it’s awesome! Ps merry Christmas

I am having trouble opening chapter 86 and 87

question. is the style Petro is teaching Divinity literally called "style" or is that a placeholder for a tbd name

Tyftc! Love the book name!

Hey there big Daddy, thanks for the chapters, your series is great and this book especially! :)

Hey boss I think part of chapter 82 didn’t get published page 6 is blank and Mr A didn’t mention training Divinity

There are always "slow" books in series. A series has to follow an arc just like a book. There are some valid critiques in the comments, but overall i say keep doing what your doing.

Book seems like its in a transition, and that tends to make people a bit unsettled. All you can do is keep doing what your are doing. It may be a good time to keep a looser eye on reader feed back.

Right, and the degree to which you accommodate for that reading comprehension is also a creative choice for Brian to make.

Look you aren’t going to make everyone happy so just write what you want to write and what you are proud of

Bro, I am begging you. You cant drop us off at a cliff like this.

You have written 3 very, very solid books already, and book 4 is turning out to be just as solid you are 100% overthinking.

Even if he crafted himself into the gauntlet, he can craft himself out again. But I thought it was a funny idea, for him to make his arm a material component.

they're not cliffhangers if you read it as a book, like it's supposed to be

the gun stuff is super valid in this critic i think. +

folks don't have reading comprehension, the gauntlet is full arm because their is a drone docking station on the shoulder, so it goes from fingers to shoulder

so many people do not understand this concept! "why are there so many cliffhanges!?!?!?" there aren't, you're just not reading it how it's intended to be read, like an actual book.

It is important to remember that because he finished the semester early, he had two months of break at home so it is not surprising that it takes an entire book to cover that break

Things that feel rough on a weekly release often wash out entirely in book form when it's in the format it was paced for.. I wouldn't worry

A lot of people tend to just post their momentary thoughts and inpressions wuthout much thought. You cant take comments too seriously.

This reflects my thinking - I thought it’d be a short break and back to school. If anything, I think somehow setting the expectation that the book is away from the school and everyone early on is central to the setup of it.

Now that you mention it, facing his fears was a bit of the second book, with the camp and fighting. I think we are facing the root of it with this book though, with Sal facing his parents sheltering him and why.

well for my 2 cents, I think it's fine and excited to hear the series will be long or longer, the MC's primary is crafting and more than the fighting that's what attracted me to the book. so do you as you see fit

If you open it in an Adobe reader you can put it in to liquid mode which lets you adjust the text size. Not sure if it's available on iPhone but it's worth a shot

One of the things that are getting to me is how many mistakes he is making. Every time hes using the machine hes like oops miss clicked. Oh forgot to have perfect running

I save the pdf, then go to files. Hit share on the pdf and send it to kindle but make sure you adjust the pdf to be changeable otherwise you are viewing a tiny pdf

Mate, don't let everyone else influence you. You're writing a great series because it's your vision. I for one will keep tuning in very happily.

As it's the full arm that's being used I would change it from Gauntlet to arm guard. Gauntlet is literally just your fist.

Those type of critiques are very constructive in nature and helpful to authors! Kudos!

💯

Divinity and Sal need to be together..... Like peas and carrots

Remember that trickster made illusions so realistic that even Barry was impressed so it might be possible

Fabi is obsessed with drones

Somewhere in the settings for your viewer you should be able to change the default font.

personal opinion: silver and his parents being OP is sorta dumb but the entire premise is Sal being unreasonably overpowered so who really cares. i do think there should be a more pressing threat once school is back tho

I enjoy the story and want to read what you feel comes next.

So I think you’re over thinking it. But Sals internal monologue before reading Divinity’s message rang a bit out of character for him or untrue to their existing relationship. Also he didn’t send the snap to fabi too?

Does anyone have a good way to read these chapters on an iPhone? The pdf font sizes are so tiny on a small screen and I haven’t found anything that works to resize them

Hello Brian, Not too sure if anyone else had this comment for you. I’m waiting for Sal to become friends with Kane and help him. I’m always supportive of the underdogs, Kane has been dropping in the ranks and Sal is aware and worries about him. Thank you

Seriously have I read it wrong or does it look like he had a new arm?

Ah, timezone friends! Yeah, the cliffhangers aren't going anywhere my friend. I'm sorry 😔

Nope, apparently I'm just bad at words at 1am. I meant cliffhangers

Sorry Tom, could you explain this one to me. Are you talking about the Discord Spoiler chat for Patrons? Or me referencing things in the body of text before posting?

The main feedback I have is: Stop with the spoilers (cliffhangers*)... please... Im begging you...

Still waiting for someone to notice that divinity wants in.

tftc

But would the illusions give off essence signatures?

O come on not again. a week wait is going to kill me. I want to know what it does. 😅

Listen man, it's good story/world building. Don't get too down about. It will pay dividends when you get to the more exciting stuff and have a strong foundation in you characters and the world you've created. Personally, it's all read as pretty necessary to set up the rest of the series.

I always assumed at least some of it was an illusion, especially after the red barrier was supposedly removed

At the end of the day, I just hope that it helps you to feel more confident in your ability and aids in highlighting any areas of concern so that you can not just grow, but thrive while moving forward in your dreams. Thanks for taking the time to reply. Cheers!

Last comment I swear (maybe) WHAT THE FUCK DID ROBERT DO IN THE TOWER TRIAL STAIRWELL TO THOSE DEMONS IF THATS NOT HIS POWER???? Now I don’t if I trust Robert anymore or not. 🤯

Lol

I find feeding the work of an author into chatgpt and then giving them the ai feedback terribly offensive

Full Arm :)

So I’m going back and re-listening to the series while I wait for the next one. I really appreciate how Sal’s dad pretty much did Rust’s combat class and got Sal proficient. Fighting with out essence. I’m enjoying seeing the base of the classes coming through with his parents being honest.

That's super helpful though! I bet most authors appreciate the free editing help. I know I would. I'm not good at that though I get sucked into the writing so easily and the movie starts in my head I miss the mistakes. 😅

I was thinking of a different name of the "style" arts. Because of the confusion when using a style called style. What about Morphic Path - or Morphic style - meaning shape-shifting or adaptable

So does Sal now have a mechanical arm or will the gauntlet come off?

personally, I try to only point out grammar/logic inconsistencies, which just slightly bother me sometimes.

Your stories are great and I'm always happy when new chapters come out.

This is my favorite book so far, and that’s before it’s even been edited! On that note, not giving us the appraisal this week was a dick move!

Chapter 81 when he's messing with the designs Sal says he was thinking about putting the drone in the shoulder of the gauntlet. Is it a full arm gauntlet or hand to elbow?

Hold up! so even Sal marrying Fabi was Divinity just messing with them as well. “I threw in Fabi as a name”. First off wholly shit I love her for that she is so devious I love it. Second wholly crap Brian way to pull a subtle twist in there.

I have been enjoying the recent chapters. I like the improvement in family connections 👌

Okay done edits. Sorry it went longer than I had originally anticipated... wait a second. ;)

This is your story, I love it as it is. Don’t change anything if you don’t want to, this book will be a huge hit as is

Also want to say I am really enjoying the crafting of the archwright as well as the suit designing work. Can’t wait to see how that plays out.

I've felt that the tone of this book has been great. It feels like more is happening this book than last book. And that's not a dig at the previous book, just a comparison of the two. Not everyone likes crafting, but I really like reading about it.

This has honestly been one of my favorite arcs. Keep up the good work.

I really like this book, feels like a breather after a ton of high stakes stuff while at the same time progressing some of the stuff we haven't seen recently, like Sal really digging into his crafting. It also highlighted where he was and how far he still has to go.

Was really hoping that Divinity’s message at the end of chapter 1 was something like “What did you do?!?”

Mate. I started reading because of the story you write. Not because of the story 'we' make you write. Do it because you want to do it, not because someone makes you. I'll still be on for the ride. 👍 Cheers and appreciation from an Aussie (Australian) follower

I swear, I was just thinking about how I was going through withdrawals for this. Thank you for the chaps

Not every book needs to end in a big battle. If anything that gets too predictable.