The Captain's Heart CH 111

“You told Bob to drag me out of the ship, didn’t you?” Jeremy asked as soon as the call connected. “I didn’t tell him to drag you,” his

“You told Bob to drag me out of the ship, didn’t you?” Jeremy asked as soon as the call connected.

“I didn’t tell him to drag you,” his friend countered.

He chuckled. “Really, semantics?”

“I was worried you’d spend our stay here on the ship.”

“Considering what happened when I ventured off, can you blame me?”

“No, but that doesn’t mean I will indulge you.”

“What are you, my dad?”

“I think that would complicate things.”

Jeremy laughed. “Anyway. Thanks. I don’t know how he managed it, but under a day Bob got familiar with a lot of the station and he gave me a tour. A lot of nice, out of the way, places for foods and other items that aren’t in high demands. Got to try some sort of goop the Ridoshi make.”

“You ate Ridoshi food?” his friend asked in dismay.

“Have you tried it?”

“It’s….” He seemed to have trouble finding the words. “Ridoshi food.”

“And it’s safe. Not particularly interesting, but it was nice to try something completely different.”

“You are braver than I.”

“Says the hunter.”

“Says the hunter who will happily eat Kelsirian food for the rest of his life.”

“Spicy Kelsirian food,” Jeremy added, remembering the look on the others that first time he’d tried some of his friend’s sauce.

“Spices I know come from plants found on Kelser, or their printed equivalent.”

“You should try Kersosteran dishes. They are mostly meat eaters, like you.”

“Have you tried that too?”

“I told you Bob’s found a lot of out-of-the way places. How was your trip there? He mentioned you escorted him to the Facilitator.”

“I wanted to make sure there wouldn’t be any problems with one of them being biased against Earthers.”

“Have we been around long enough for anyone to be biased against them? I mean, other than me, you, and the crew?”

“It’s impossible to know what someone will feel about a new species, even when they are trained to welcome everyone. But that wasn’t a problem. They hit it off rather well. She might be where he learned a lot about the station. I don’t think he was able to answer any of her questions without asking one of his own, and she clearly didn’t mind.”

“Yeah, Bob is definitely the friendly kind.”

“But my time there, once I left them alone, was good. Met a friend, we ate, talked. Did our own visiting of the station, although his knowledge of it is more upscale than what Bob showed you. The Reoseph have an exhibit on the first meeting. It was interesting, more to his interest than mine, although learning the first two species of the Federation to encounter each other were the Reoseph and Saladins was a surprise.”

“Saladins is the species of the one who welcomed us last time, right? Seemed kind of fidgety when things didn’t go well.”

“Yes. Which is why I was surprised they were one of the first species. They tend to run at the first sign of trouble if they aren’t duty bound to their work.”

“I don’t know enough about them to have an opinion. One isn’t enough of a sample size. And those I saw while visiting with Bob didn’t act in any noticeably different ways from everyone else on the station.” The door chimed. “I’ve got someone at the door. I’ll talk with you later.”

The door opened to a long furred Kelsirian with bright green eyes. He had a moment of wondering who the mottled brown, black and white furred guy was, then he knew and couldn’t believe he hadn’t immediately recognized him.

“Ambassador!” Jeremy hugged him.

“Hello Jeremy. And it’s only Querik now.”

He motioned his friend inside. “Did you lose your job?”

“No. I set it aside to return home to my family. It’s been too long since I was with people I cared for deeply.”

Jeremy nodded, attentive for anything from the programming at the ache he felt. It didn’t manifest.

“How about you, Jeremy? How have you been? I wish I’d been here to help you through what was done to you.”

“Thanks. But I don’t know what you could have added. Leiha was there, as was everyone else. She’s the Psychologist,” he added at Querik’s tilted ear. “It took a long time, but I’m mostly okay. Do you want to try something?”

“Of course. What do you mean by mostly okay?”

“I’m able to function, even talk with him, but having to always be on guard for the programming they tortured in my head gets tiresome. I can’t wait for the day I can just not think about it and not have to worry it’s going to send me spiraling down again.” He pulled the pie out of the cooler.

“When is the last time you had an episode?”

“A while now.” He carefully cut, then took the slice out. “But I’m always vigilant.” He smiled as the inside remained solid. The Ridoshi powder he’d added had caused it to firm up nicely. That had been Bob’s excuse to get him to leave the ship. A possible way to fix the problem he’d still had with the filling.

He cut it again, handing Querik the smaller of the portion, along with a fork. “That’s—”

“A fork. I lived on Einstein for seven years. I acquainted myself with Earther utensils.” He took a small bite and immediately made a face. “Oh, that is unpleasantly sweet.”

Jeremy chuckled. “That’s the most polite way I’ve heard it said. What about the texture?” He thought it was too firm, which, hopefully, could be adjusted through ratios.

“It is…uncomfortable. It lacks the resistance of bitting into meat, but it’s too solid to be crushed the way the pastes will. This is an Earther dish?”

“A Kelsirian variation on one, since I can’t get strawberries, and Bob’s recipes got desserts corrupted off it.”

“He was the Earther living on the derelict. How was it having another Earther on the ship?”

Jeremy enjoyed more of his slice. “Not as bad as I expected. He’s a little odd, from what was done to him and living alone for two decades, but I was scared the programming would latch onto anyone human and…I don’t know. Looking back, I know it couldn’t make me ‘do’ anything. Freaking out is about the extent of what it does, but I had this irrational fear there would be some hidden command that would make me actively plan an escape when I saw him.”

“And now that he has left?”

“What do you mean?”

“You are alone again.”

He chuckled. “I’m never that. I have my friends, as well as him. Like I said. We talk.”

“And that’s enough? No one here is of your species.”

“I don’t think I have any human friends…. Well, I have one now, but Bob isn’t here anymore. It doesn’t matter that you have fur and I don’t. I feel at home here.”

Querik nodded, then placed the untouched plate on the counter. “Would you indulge me?”

Jeremy looked at his friend suspiciously. “It depends with what.”

“I would like you to show me your favorite place on the ship.”

His protest was cut by a memory; then he laughed. “It’s going to be a short trip. My drafting station’s in a room over there.”

“I doubt that is your favorite place. You have said you don’t isolate yourself here the way you did on Einstein.”

Jeremy considered the question while he finished his slice, as well as what Querik hadn’t touched. “Okay, I can think of a few. How long do you have?”

“However long you feel this will take. I am no longer employed.”

“I don’t work today, so…” he smiled. Knowing where to start.

*

Jeremy raised his face to the light and heat above him, his toes sinking in the sand.

“I didn’t expect this to be among them,” Querik said. “You have grown much more comfortable with our nudity than I thought.”

He looked around at the other people. “It took a while, and there have been a few uncomfortable situations, with me being exotic. But my friends were there then and made sure nothing happened. No one’s done anything like that in months now. And I love how warm this place this. And swimming. I didn’t realize how I missed that until I got to just dive until I reached the bottom.”

“Caused quite a stir, I heard.”

“I didn’t realize how quickly you get exhausted until then.”

“How about—”

Jeremy became hyper-vigilant for the programming, but his friend didn’t continue.

“How about we go for a swim? Then you can show me a place you prefer to this one.”

*

Jeremy motioned to engineering and received a roll of the eyes from his friend.

“If anyone else had taken me to where they work and claimed it as one of their favorite place, I would have sent them for counseling.”

“I’m honored you don’t, then.”

“I am surprised. Doesn’t working as a technician remind you of what you can’t do anymore?”

“It was hard adjusting, but once I did, I realized something one of my teachers kept telling us. There are no small jobs. Everything matters. I’d forgotten that in my years of building new designs, of being the one in charge. Every little job matters. There’s a pleasure in accomplishing them well.” He glanced at the high office window, where he made out a form walking past it. “And the Engineer’s been giving me annoyingly complex tasks recently with hardly any information on what I’m expected to do other than ‘fix it’.” He grinned. “Don’t tell him that, but I kind of love it when he does that.”

Querik chuckled. “Where to next?”

“Why do you think there’s another place?”

“Because I know you, Jeremy.”

*

“Jeremy Bradshaw,” the woman exclaimed as he and Querik entered the shop. “I did not expect you to come by.”

“Nirlakasar, it’s good to see you again. This is Querikrilgral. He asked me to show him my favorite place on the ship, so your shop had to be included.”

“You honor me.” She faced Querik. “How may I address you?”

“I am Querikrilgral Ormodoremitar. It is a pleasure to meet someone Jeremy thinks so highly of.”

She chuckled. “It’s my hands, he thinks well off. He quite enjoys my massages. I am Nirlakasar sel Fordesirar.”

“I will have to make an appointment and enjoy your skill myself then.” He looked at Jeremy. “Where to next?”

“You know, if you have a destination in mind, it’s going to be faster if you just tell me where to go.”

“How would I know the places you prefer? I simply know there is another.”

Jeremy considered. He couldn’t think of one. The only place that came to him only did so because of what was there.

*

“And this is so you can exercise?” Querik asked, looking the machine over.

“Resistance exercises. It works better for me than just fighting.”

“Exercising,” Querik said in a tone that implied there was a difference.

“Scarif also uses it, but we haven’t talked about how well it’s working for him. Low endurance has to make it harder.”

Querik sat on the bench, then leaned back, reaching for the bar. “I wonder if Olia would like something like this,” he mused.

“Who’s that?”

“One of my mates. Oliadironatif Gricelperifes.”

Jeremy smiled at the wistfulness in the tone. “You miss them a lot, don’t you?”

“Very much. We all speak daily, but it isn’t the same as being with them. Touching them and them touching me. Smelling them.”

“Why did you leave then? I mean, there had to be work you could do that would keep you close to them.”

“I was young. Diplomatic work seemed like such a calling. To help enemies become friends. And I was skilled at it so I gained rank. Was made an ambassador, and those duties required I be in space. I returned regularly, until I replaced the ambassador on Einstein, to continue the work of shepherding Earthers within the Federation. Then trouble at home meant it was wiser for me not to return.” He smiled. “But I am heading back, to remain, to be Kreseric to my mate’s children and father to my own. And enjoy all their company.” He sat, then stood, and looked at Jeremy expectantly.

“I don’t know….”

The smile was kind, but knowing. “You do.”

“No, I’ve….” He swallowed and looked toward where he might be. He caught himself seeing him and nearly panicked, getting ready for an attack.

It hurt to be so close and not be able to go to him.

“Why not?” his friend asked, and Jeremy stared.

“I didn’t say….” He’d forgotten Querik was a mentalist.

He looked toward…him and readied himself for an attack…that didn’t come. He cautiously brought his image to bear, and it was harder than it should be. He’d had to train himself not to see him. Not to think of him as anyone other than him. To think of him as who he was, what he meant, was inviting the programming to unleash itself.

Only it wasn’t.

He hurried out of the leisure alley. Hurried toward him, toward his Heart. The quarters were close. It was why he’d put his machine there. And then he was before the door, hand trembling, out of breath.

Scared and hopeful.

He tapped the panel by the door, and within seconds, it opened. He looked up into surprised golden eyes and his breath caught.

He’d forgotten how deep they were.

“Jer?”

He wrapped his arms around Gralgiran and tightened them. He buried his nose in his chest fur and breathed in. The ache in his heart easing as the smell filled his nose.

“Quer?” Gralgiran asked, sounding uncertain, and Jeremy tighten his arms more. Letting his Heart know without doubt he was there. He was where….

“I belong here,” Jeremy said, looking up at his Heart. “I don’t need anyone to tell me that anymore.”

The worry melted off Gralgiran’s face, replaced by wonder. He smiled. “Welcome back, my little warrior.”

Outline section 

In fact when the knock on the door comes it isn’t security, but that representative; Ambassador Querik. Or, as Querik explains, just Querik for now. He’s taken a new position in order to spend more time in kelsirian space with his mates. He’ll be the one talking Bob through all his legal expectations in the Federation, but he’s happy to catch up with Jeremy while he’s here.

One thing will lead to another in their conversation, and Querik will eventually talk Jeremy into giving him a tour of the Viper’s Bane while he’s here. Jeremy will try to protest, but Bob doesn’t mind; he hasn’t gotten much of a look around the ship himself and if this is his last chance... well Jeremy is outvoted so the sauce is put aside.

When asked where Querik wanted to go first, the kelsirian said why not start with Jeremy’s favorite place on the ship. This starts with engineering, and when talk reveals it’s just the top of many places he likes on the ship they go through the entire gambit of the mess hall and three of the recreation rooms... but Jeremy can tell this isn’t what Querik wants. And eventually, he gives it to him.

So Jeremy heads back to the residential section of the ship, but doesn’t head to the room he’s been using for the past month. Instead he heads to his old room... Gral’s room. He’ll buzz the door... and after a moment be let in. Gral will be surprised to see him, but instead of answering that confusion Jeremy will just hug Gral and say that this... this is his favorite place on the ship.

Gral and Jeremy will have a moment, closing out the book.

Addition 

Use the phrase “I belong here. I don’t need anyone to tell me that.”

thinking of places on the ship Jeremy enjoys proved harder than I expected. there was always two, three, technically, but for someone who lived there for close, if not more, than a year, it felt like not enough. the beach made sense, but including the massage shop probably means I'll want to add more scenes there in the second draft.

the conversation at the start is another attempt as showing how comfortable they've grown at their situation.

beyond that, it followed the 'feel' I wanted for the final chapter of the book.