3/06/2017-4/06/2017

3/06/2017

It will be summer soon. It feels like summer but it's not officially there yet. It's warm out, and I finally went into the garden and did some work . I couldn't do very much since it's been a while and Simon has been the one to take care of all the plants and he's got a routine for them that work, but I want to get back into it. I took way too much time off with my plants. How in the world was I living these past few years without them? I have no clue. Anyway, enough about that. Last month was incredibly busy for me, but everything has settled. Anatole no longer belongs to Emma and I. It's bittersweet. She and her husband invited us for dinner tomorrow. I hope Peach can make it.

4/06/2017

The dinner was lovely. Emma looks like she’s finally relaxed. She and Henri look even closer now that she’s found the time. Their kids were over at their aunt for a sleepover, but it’s been a while since I saw them. Viktor was late. He did bring some flowers that he knew Emma and Henri liked so I think it was alright. The chicken and potatoes were to die for. So creamy and flavorful. The wine was great too. Speaking of, Emma and I should never drink together. As individuals, we can exercise some level of restraint. But I do not know what happens when we are within each other’s radius. It’s probably because Emma has a terrible habit of taunting. I ended up drinking much more than I should have. That's how we found ourselves speaking on the balcony. Reminiscing about how we began Anatole, how hard it was those first two years. The doubt. The long days and nights. How difficult it was to get investors to hear us out, and then how hard it was to sustain and grow business. The problems along the way that–in hindsight–were funny. I asked her if she regretted selling Anatole. She said no. Now she can spend all the time she’d like with Henri and the kids. Henri, who held down the fort while she worked herself to the bone. She said it was her gift to him, for how hard he had to work to support them in the first years, when Anatole wasn’t making enough profit. God, those were hard times. Now, though, he needn’t work so hard. He’s cut down many many hours now. They will be going on a cruise next month.

She asked about me as well. I said I had no regrets, plus Peach is doing great now, so we could spend more time together. She asked if we did. Spend more time together, I mean. I… we did. Not as much last month, considering how busy it was for both he and I, but I think we did.

When we went back in, Peach was nowhere to be seen. Henri said he stepped out just a moment ago. I was relaxed, felt in a mood to hug my husband and say ridiculous things to him that would have him question my sanity, you know how it is.

He was outside, on a call. I thought for a moment about startling him, but I let that thought go quite fast. What if I did startle him and it shocked him worse than intended? I don’t know, all I know is that I didn’t.

I heard him say that yes, he had eaten. There was laughter in his voice. Of course, I couldn’t hear what whoever he was talking about said, but Peach responded. He said that today was different, he didn’t need “him” to pull him off his desk to go to the cafeteria. I must write those exact words in case I forget, “This is different of course, I don’t need you to peel me off my desk and herd me to the cafeteria.”  

I don't know why hearing those words carved a pit in my stomach. They sounded as if they were said in jest. They probably were, If I am to be honest. But the laughter in his voice, the easy joy I heard in it. It felt like someone slapped me across the face with an icy cold towel. And so, I went back inside and spent the rest of the time with Henri and Emma. It took him a while to rejoin us, but he did, and we had a good time. It got late, I went home, he said he wanted to stop by the office. I have taken a shower, done my skincare, and now I am off to bed alone.
I think Anna and Henri are asleep now. They were so sweet during dinner, so many little hugs and kisses all the time. I know they are asleep together now.

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