Standard death eater meeting part 2

Standard death eater meeting part 2 –

“Okay, so everyone is finally here,” Voldemort said with a small sigh as everyone finally arrived, the group sat gathered around a large table. “Oh, and before we begin, I would like to introduce our newest recruit.” He said, gesturing down the table to his right at Harry who was sat between Lucius and Bellatrix.

“Hi,” Harry said awkwardly with a small wave of his hand.

“My lord,” Nameless death eater number seven spoke up. “Where is Lady Malfoy? She’s normally here, is she not?”

“That’s what I’ve been wondering as well,” Lucius said, sending a dirty and suspicious look at Harry.

“Oh, I know what happened,” Bellatrix piped up with a wide grin, nudging Harry playfully with her shoulder. “Narcissa had to put in more work than she initially intended to in her ‘suggestive recruitment’ campaign.”

“Suggestive recruitment campaign?” Draco repeated confusedly, the blonde was previously distracted by his reflection in his goblet and looked up, sneering at Harry without a thought before pausing and realising who he just sneered at. “Potter?! What are you doing here?!” He blurted out.

“He’s our newest recruit, I just said that, dumbass,” Voldemort sighed, rubbing his eyes as he contemplated if torturing the boy would be better than simply killing him off.

“Why would the golden boy join the death eaters?” Draco blinked.

“Your mother was very suggestive in her recruitment campaign,” Harry said with a small smile, unable to stop the red appearing on his face. “She made several good points. And she put in a lot of effort in convincing me.”

“Mother convinced you to join the death eaters?” Draco asked with disbelief.

“Many, many times, yes,” Harry said with a large grin that matched Bellatrix’s. “She convinced me over and over and over and over and over and then a little bit more just to be safe.” He added, noting that Lucius was turning from red to purple with fury.

“Perhaps I can give you some added incentives to stay,” Bellatrix whispered suggestively in Harry’s ear, causing the young wizard’s face to turn even redder.

“Bellatrix,” Voldemort spoke up. “I need the blood to stay in Potter’s head while we have this meeting,”

“Spoilsport,” Bellatrix pouted as she backed away.

“Now, we need to work out ways to bring down Dumbledore,” Voldemort continued. “Now, that we have his ‘golden boy’ at our side, I imagine that it’ll be much easier. Now, does anyone have any suggestions?”

“Any chance mother can try her recruitment process on him?” Draco suggested. “If she can convince the golden boy to join then maybe she can convince the old coot to join.”

“No!” Lucius, Harry and Bellatrix said at the same time, startling the younger Malfoy.

“Besides, that might take a while seeing as she’s in St Mungos at the moment,” Harry pointed out.

“Wait, what?!” Lucius and Draco blurted out.

“What do you mean that my wife’s in St Mungos?! Why in sweet baby Salazar Slytherin’s name would she be in the hospital?!” Lucius demanded.

“She might have possibly messed up a hip during her recruitment process,” Harry answered straight-faced.

“Must have been one hell of a recruitment pitch,” Draco said, looking quite surprised. “How on Earth did she hurt her hip? Was she performing a spell?!”

“Quite a few actually,” Harry said, smiling again. “Multiple times.”

“Back to this meeting,” Voldemort cut in before anyone could continue that line of questioning. “Now, can we please focus on coming up with a plan to stop the second most powerful wizard to ever live?”

“Who is the first?” Draco couldn’t help but ask, earning a glare from Voldemort.

“Grindelwald, dumbass,” Harry said with a roll of his eyes, also earning a glare from Voldemort.

“Does anyone have any ideas?” Voldemort said through gritted teeth.

“We can lure him to Hogsmead and attack him then with a surprise ambush,” Nameless death eater number eight point nine spoke up.

“Find a way to sneak into Hogwarts and plant some explosive devices,” Another suggested.

“Why don’t we kidnap a few mudbloods and use them to lure Dumbledore into a trap?” Lucius said, sparing a glare at Harry.

“Oh  yes, that’s the best idea so far,” Draco smiled brightly.

“Kiss-ass,” Harry said, rolling his eyes.

“Like you have any ideas to offer,” Draco growled.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Harry corrected him before turning to Voldemort. “You don’t need to kill him,”

“What do you mean?” Voldemort asked.

“Earlier, Mrs Malfoy said something that I completely agree with,” Harry replied. “So after I pulled her legs off of my head I made a mental note to –“

“Wait, what were her legs doing on your head?” Draco asked.

“Part of the spell, Draco, it was part of the spell,” Harry said very quickly before turning to Voldemort. “We need to make Dumbledore suffer for what he’s done, he doesn’t deserve a quick death. We need to make him suffer and I know exactly how to do that, I can stretch it out for the whole year.”

“And how do you plan to do that?” Lord Voldemort asked, feeling intrigued.

“I come from a very long line of pranksters, and I am heir to the legendary ‘Marauders’.” Harry began.

“I’ve never heard of them,” Draco replied.

“They haven’t heard of you either,” Harry told Draco who looked quite offended by that. “Anyway, I can prank the shit out of him, make him frustrated and I can slowly, slowly ruin his image as a grand old grandfather while you guys continue with your other plans. I’ll keep Dumbledore busy the whole year. Meanwhile, I have a few ideas for things you can do to make him suffer.”

“Like what?” Lord Voldemort couldn’t help but feel like it might actually have been a good idea to recruit Potter. Harry pulled out a note and slid it down to Voldemort.

“These are the addresses of the factories that make the lemon drops that Dumbledore eats,” Harry explained. “We need to burn them all down.”

“Huh?” Many people throughout the room said at the same time.

“Trust me,” Harry said with a wicked grin. Bellatrix stared at him for a long moment before standing up and pulling him out of his seat.

“Bellatrix?” Voldemort blinked as Bellatrix began pulling Harry away.

“I fancy a trip to St Mungos,” She said over her shoulder before pulling Harry out of the room.

“A bit of an odd time to practise spells, don’t you think?” Draco frowned.

“Let’s just try Potter’s plan,” Voldemort said, not expecting any better suggestions, though truth be told he didn’t expect much of it.

(.)

As Voldemort got out of bed, he headed to the bathroom, ready to relieve himself and then obviously not wash his hands…because he’s evil. He had barely opened the door when a scream – Dumbledore’s scream – shook the whole manor and the majority of the country, causing Voldemort to pause.

“The sound of ultimate suffering,” Voldemort realised. “I should probably reward Potter….but then again, Bellatrix is probably rewarding him adequately enough."