[Story] Kareen Sells You Cookies~!!!

Your eyes are fixed to the ground, as you walk to Oat Pi University.

You: *yawn* I shouldn’t have stayed up so late last night.

You stretched your arms out above you, taking in a deep breath.

That’s when you noticed the back of some weirdo dancing at the University entrance.

Well, it was more like they were wiggling their butt back and forth.

It was a girl in a pink dress wearing a purple jacket.

She had wide hips and a fine booty, accentuated by the motion of her short skirt as it waved back and forth with each wiggle of her butt.

You stopped dead in your tracks, watching her sway back and forth.

It was hypnotic.

You: …

Booty: La la la la la… cookies! Would anyone like to buy some cook-ies?

You: … what?!

She turned around, sending the pink pom poms on her head flinging behind her.

Kareen: OH! Hello sir!

She greeted you with a welcoming smile.

Kareen: Would you like to purchase one of these scrumptious looking cookies? They’re really tasty!

You: (Woah! She’s… she’s really cute!!)

She eagerly holds the plate out towards you, giving you a good look at the cookies.

You: Ahh…

Kareen: Don’t they look delicious?

They didn’t.

The cookie dough looked burnt, almost like dirt. Each had a small number of choc chips in them, accompanied by strands of what looked like chopped-up grass and twigs.

It almost looked like whoever made them, didn’t even know what kind of cookie they were trying to make.

You: Did you make these?

Kareen: He he he, no.

Kareen: It’s not safe for me to cook unsupervised.

Kareen: These are made by Summer.

Kareen: Have you heard of her? She’s like a famous actor at this University.

You: Summer…?

You: (Isn’t she that snobbish rich girl…)

You: I think I know her. But why is she selling these… uhh… cookies?

She tilted her head like a confused puppy.

Kareen: What do you mean?

You: I mean, she doesn’t really need the money does she? I mean…

Her cheeks puffed up, immediately cross with what you said.

Kareen: Of course she does!

Kareen: How else would she be able to keep her business’esses running?

You: I-I’m sorry. I d-didn’t mean to imply…

The girl rocked her hips to one side, sending her skirt flicking up in the same direction.

Kareen: Are you going to buy a cookie or not?

Feeling a little guilty, you figure you’ll buy one to help her out. After all, you don’t have to eat it.

You: How much is it?

Kareen: Summer’s Home Grown cookies are $20.

You: For the whole plate?

Kareen: What? No silly.

Kareen: For one cookie. He he he!

You: WHAT?! Are you kidding?!

You: I ain’t payin’ 20 bucks for a patch of lawn!

She recoiled in shock.

Kareen: W-w-what?! B-but?! She said they’re s-so tasty!

You: …
You: HOW?!

Kareen: She put so much effort into making them!

Kareen: You should feel so lucky.

Kareen: I haven’t even eaten them!

You: You seriously can’t be selling those crazy looking cookies for $20?!

She gripped the plate tightly as her cheeks puffed up even further.

Kareen: We’ve worked so hard to make these cookies, and you’re being so rude!

Kareen: A-and your even insulting Summer. *sniffle sniffle*

She finally retracted the plate, slumping over them causing her pom poms to cover her face.

You: I-I…

You felt incredibly guilty.

Not only did you insult the cookies, her, and her friend Summer. But you’ve now made her cry.

Kareen: *sob* *sob* You meanie…

You: I-I uhh…

As you look around for a way to escape, you notice a group of people staring, talking amongst each other.

You: …!

Distant Male: Oh man, did you see that? They made that cute pink-haired girl cry.
Distant Female: What? Serious?! What a jerk!

Other Distant Male: Why are they being such a dick to her?

Distant Male: Yeah man, that’s just not cool.

Other Distant Male: Wait, aren’t they in your class.

Distant Female: I think so… I can’t believe they're so mean.

Your palms begin to tingle and sweat as you feel yourself being directly attacked.

You: (But it’s not my fault! These cookies are seriously nasty looking!)

You: I uhh… I d-didn’t mean to uhh… p-please don’t cry.

You: It’s just that…

Feeling guilty, you reach for your back pocket, grabbing your wallet.

You: L-look. Can I like, buy half a cookie?

You: I-I’d like to help you out, but I really don’t have that much cash on me.

You slip a $10 note out of your wallet holding it out, hoping everyone sees.

The pending sale seems to calm her down and cheer her up.

Kareen: *sniffle* Really?

You: Y-yeah. Just tell Summer that I really wanted one of her cookies, but darn it, I just didn’t have enough money.

Your sugar-coated sentiment seemed to be working, as a smile slowly returned to her face.

Kareen: Aww, thank you. I will!

Enthusiastically, she breaks one of the bigger cookies in half, giving you the side with the most choc chips and green bits.

Kareen: You can have the biggest and best bit.

You cautiously hand over the cash, tentatively taking the half cookie with your other hand.

Kareen: He he he! You should give it a try?

You: (WHAT?! THAT WASN’T PART OF THE DEAL?!?)

A bead of sweat streaks down your forehead.

Distant Female: They better eat that.

Distant Male: Yeah…

You: (AH-HHH CRAP!?)

The girl tilts her head with a little smile.

Kareen: Go on! Everyone always likes them in the end.

You slowly raise the cookie towards your mouth, keeping the broken corner pointing upwards.

You: (If I just nibble a bit off the corner, i-it might not be so bad.)

Kareen: Make sure you take a big bite now! He he he.

You: (WHAT?! NO! I…)

Your entire body begins to sweat, as she and the onlookers watch you with anticipation.

You slowly pry open your mouth, as the cookie approaches your lips.

You: (Oh god, I don’t want to do this…)

Distant Female: If they don’t eat that, I’m sooo going to give them shit for it in class.

You: …!

Your mouth slams shut.

You pull your hand away to notice you had bitten off most of the cookie, leaving a small piece between your fingertips.

Kareen: Is it good?

Reluctantly, you start chewing.

Strangely enough, the texture isn’t bad.

Despite being burnt on the outside, the inside of the cookie was nice and moist, flavored by the occasional sweet taste of dark chocolate chips.

You: Hmm… n-hot b-had.

You continue to chew.

You: Ouah…!

You: (What the hell is that taste?!)

An unexpected sour taste starts to seep into the flavors.

Each bite becomes chewier than that last, as you feel strange bits sticking to the inside of your mouth.

You: Ou-wwahhhh!

You: (It seriously tastes like grass!)

She continued to smile, oblivious of your displeasure.

Kareen: It’s worth the price, right?

You regrettably swallow, knowing if you didn’t you wouldn't hear the end of it.

You feel the mashed-up cookie slide down your throat before eventually feeling a relieving sploosh land in your stomach.

You: *burp* …

Kareen: He he he!

Before you could reply, your stomach instantly cramps up.

You: Oh god! What the hell have I done?

Your stomach begins to turn over, forcing you to your knees.

Kareen: Summer said I should tell people to lay down after eating one because it can…

Kareen: What did she say again?

She scratched her head trying to remember.

Kareen: Oh that’s right. It can be quite a trip!

You: UGGHHHH!!

You: (Oh god! She must have used real grass!)

You: (T-that’s not how you’re supposed to make those cookies?!)

You take her advice anyway, laying down on the ground and staring directly into the sky.

Kareen: See, I told you they were tasty.

You look up to see a glimpse of white heaven surrounded by a waving pink skirt.

You: White… panties…

You: Ughhh~!!!

The girl skipped away, heading over to the group of judgemental people.

Distant Female: OH GOD! WHAT IS THAT?!

Distant Male: THEY SERIOUSLY ATE THAT?!?!

Other Distant Male: HAHAHAHAHAHA! DUDE!? THAT’S MESSED UP HAHAHAHAHAHA?!

Kareen: GRRRR!!!

Kareen: WHY IS EVERYONE BEING SO RUDE TO ME?!

You: Ughhh… w-why me!?

We hope y’all enjoyed another of these little poll stories with Kareen! And thank you to everyone who voted. It was a lot of fun to write! xD

Be sure to let me know what you think in the comments below, and if you have any advice for anyone suffering the ill effects of Summer’s Home Grown cookies, be sure to leave a comment. You could be saving them the “trip”!

Thanks, y’all!

~ Zuri Sama ~