B2 – Chapter 28
Added 2024-10-03 14:00:12 +0000 UTC1
“Bring in the n
Comments
TYVM for the feedback.
Seras Streams
2024-10-06 20:40:17 +0000 UTCI do agree the abyss got foreshadowed a bit much for how easy it was for Lyn to simply stomp them. I think that would have been more satisfying if Cecily had gotten what she wanted, possessed but nominally in charge, able to swing a mass kill spell by borrowing the archmage entity's prowess. Get herself a nice big villain speech only for Lyn to point out that she can do true annihilation magic which can kill the entities and have them promptly run for their lives, leaving her in a lurch to be tossed into storage for later while Lyn goes ghost-hunting. Same basic outcome but a little more funny in its anticlimax. After all, as ironic as it was for Cecil to become a prisoner in her own body she hardly lasted long enough in that state for it to be very satisfying. Just my two cents mind you.
Aclys
2024-10-06 20:23:00 +0000 UTCThank you for clarifying your concerns. For #2: the dust was airborne but, it was only for initial dispersal. It’s a communicable ‘virus’ so quarantine could stop it. #3 I could perhaps add something to make it less mana/intensive for her at this point. #4 abyss could be slightly reworked. I wanna wait until I get more feedback from other readers.
Seras Streams
2024-10-04 01:29:32 +0000 UTC2. This point was not mentioned, but somewhat makes sense. Also isn't it really hard to stop spread of airborn virus? Unless she fully quarantined the city and nuked all the population it should be hard. 3. It reads like she always is tired after any battle, no matter how hard or easy it is. Always low on mana (even tho she has all the cores and other dungeon cores her scout core should have consumed), shouldn't she practically almost have unlimited amount of it? 4. Still the entire Abyss felt like a side story that got wrapped up really fast. She might as well failed and there would not have been much of a change except Lyn losing her entire army.
Cosmoros Subs
2024-10-04 01:26:52 +0000 UTCAh. I see. Well, next week we get the last 2 chapters and the epilogue.
Seras Streams
2024-10-03 17:58:04 +0000 UTCMore that I'm definitely expecting the other shoe to drop now.. We're only at chapter 8 even with the extra long chapters..
NeverendingMixUp
2024-10-03 17:56:59 +0000 UTCBut was it satisfying? Or was it a letdown? (Trying to gauge reaction of viewers to know if rewrites are warranted)
Seras Streams
2024-10-03 17:17:28 +0000 UTCThis feels like suspiciously easy of a wrap up..
NeverendingMixUp
2024-10-03 17:16:01 +0000 UTCDuly noted. To address each item in order: Cecily: Lyn knew that backups could only be used if activated by mana. This was explained by Thomas in a prior chapter. Plus, she had spoken with Raevan and Yheron the first time she tried to kill Cecily - and this time the lava surrounded her in that ‘soul space’ so she couldn’t escape. 2.) Brad’s mind altering substance was quarantined and…the people were dealt with harshly to prevent the spread. That could be inferred from when she was notified and ordered the quarantine. 3.) Not sure what is off about Lyn’s power scale here? She is practically unchallenged and just wrecks people. She’s not in any danger at all here, showing how much she’s grown in power. 4.) The sealed entities had been trapped for millennia and trapped in an echo chamber of their own constant reminders of their immortality and how the world was ‘theirs’. Echo chambers of propaganda are powerful forces. Now to cap off: I can understand where you are coming from, and when I wrote this chapter I wanted it to be a crushing defeat for Cecily with a nasty surprise for Lyn. It is quite difficult to have an entire city of conscripted and garrisoned forces fight against a well trained attacking army led by a (near) goddess. This battle was always going to be one sided. Every battle so far has been. I can consider rewrites if I deem that the content is not well received by a majority of readers (as I have done in the past). So, I will hold off on committing to any such rewrite until I get more feedback.
Seras Streams
2024-10-03 15:56:29 +0000 UTCWell let's start with first Cerci kill. Why was it done at all? They knew she was Searching for way to not die and expecting a backup should have been a norm. Her running away looked like a plot armour just so she lives to do another eliv thing. 2. Didn't brad use some sort of dust to try and cancel cerci brainwash. Why everything went absolutly perfectly for her. Fuck sake why was she even allowed to get to that point. Again. They knew what she did last time, why on first signs of mass population exodus they didn't instantly went after her. 3. Power scale. Absolutely not understandable. Is lyn strong or weak. So far every fight is practically a question mark. Every enemy is a sheet of paper without an ounce of intelligence. I know how stupid people are, but amount of "assisted suicide" she did is kinda getting out of hand. 4. Sealed entities just died off in one chapter when they have been spoilered in last book as insanely powerful compared to what there is now. Also are they stupid as hell too? Why?? The moment they found out about death of their own they should have run like rats. Imagine getting sealed and then finding out you aren't really immortal. Reading about them gave a feeling of side story that had to be closed off because of budgets reasons.
Cosmoros Subs
2024-10-03 15:37:04 +0000 UTCWell, apologies it didn’t live up to your expectations. What plot holes in particular are you referencing? Edit: the reason I ask is that I have done a chapter rewrite 1 time before because of not very positive reception.
Seras Streams
2024-10-03 15:10:43 +0000 UTCNot exactly a fan of these chapters. Feels like Cerci only got to do anything was because of plot armour and plot holes. What stops Lyn from directly going for the soul instead of even giving a chance of escaping. Why she killed her when possibility of backups that apparently ignore her power exist. Just lock her up and make sure that everything was rooted out. Destroy her memory so even if there is a backup she is fucked. Also the battles, it's like you wanted to do some army battles but it's just feels always disappointing. Everyone dies the end. lyn and Cerci going full parrot repeating their names constantly.
Cosmoros Subs
2024-10-03 15:09:01 +0000 UTC
