Chapter 140

4th Floor, The BNY Mellon Center, The Pitt - 11:47 AM

While the fight with the undead crocodile hadn’t taken away much of my hit points, I still took the time to catch my breath as I worked. Its skull had been stuck to its mask, and I needed to cut it off completely in order to take the parts that I needed. The work was slow going, but with only a few enemies still roaming the floor it was no issue.

Eventually, I had the mask and several of its scales sitting neatly in my inventory. Not only that, but I retrieved my Vague Stick from the dusty, messed up innards of the boss. It was a little worse for wear and I had to pick out some of its broken spikes, but the item was back in one piece before I knew it.

“A few relaxing minutes well spent,” I said as I stood up and wiped the dust from my hands.

Tossing the Vague Stick into my inventory, I jumped back up onto the chest-high walls and began walking towards the column I had shattered before the boss battle. Everything was much more peaceful now that the corpses were actually corpses, though I could hear movement from the floors above and below me. Despite the stone that made up the majority of the building, it was supernaturally loud.

Once I arrived, I found a skill book resting on the ground in front of my target. Its location was the giveaway that the column wasn’t here just for decoration, but it wasn’t a very clear cut clue. Picking up the skill book, I ran my hand over the black leather cover. It had the picture of a pair of jaws clamping down on a hand and severing it from the wrist.

This book contained the passive Strong Jaw, and I already knew I wanted to give it to the Mills for Corwin.

Setting it into my inventory, I returned my attention to the column and punched through the rest of the limestone cover. It was fairly easy considering how thin it was, and I stood with my hands on my hips as I inspected the spear.

While it was simplistic, with the only things adorning the weapon being a few feathers and the etched falcon on the spearhead, it was still rather beautiful. Reaching for it, I firmly grasped it and looked at the stats.

[[Equipped]]

Spear of Qebehsenuef

(Unique Item; +10 Strength, +10 Dexterity, +10 Constitution, Serket’s Protection passive acquired)

[[Passive]]

Serket’s Protection

The Spear of Qebehsenuef is decorated with three falcon feathers. Whenever you are wielding this weapon and get bitten or stung by a venomous enemy, one of the feathers will disappear and the venom will be neutralized before it can cause damage to your body. Every morning, you may pray to the goddess Serket in the west to refresh these missing feathers.

“Not bad. Not bad at all,” I whistled before giving the spear a few thrusts. It felt good in my hands, and the buffs it gave were absolutely wonderful. However, there was something unforgivable about it. “But the only one I’ll be praying to is my girlfriend. Sorry, Serket.”

Placing both hands on the weapon, I raised it high above my head before bringing it down against my rising knee. It snapped in half, and I quickly started backing up.

Even though the haft was less than an inch thick, intestines as large around as my arm started spewing out from both broken ends. I continued to back up as a frankly cartoonish amount of innards pouring out onto the floor. Unlike the desiccated corpses of the Kobolds, this smelled heavily of preservatives. By the time it finally stopped, I had made it halfway across the building.

“I always hated that part,” I complained, tossing the two halves of the weapon into my inventory.

Still, it didn’t stop me from taking my knife and cutting off a ten foot section of preserved intestine. Ashley could use it, after all.

[[Warning!]]

The Patron [Qebehsenuef] is appalled by your actions.

The Patron [Serket] is wary of you.

I made a concentrated effort not to laugh at the Patrons as I snapped away the warning message.

While an avatar could receive actual written messages from the one they were paired with, this was the way others saw messages from Patrons. It wasn’t used very often as it cost more points than Sara’s, but some could be provoked into sending them. Like by destroying an item named after them, in this instance, and bitching to the one that had lore reasons to protect you.

Whoever was playing Serket probably didn’t care about Qebehsenuef, but playing along as their protector also gained that Patron points. It was just another way to game the system and gain prestige along the way. What really surprised me was how long it took for me to receive a screen like this.

Under normal circumstances, I would have been approached by a small group of them after the Chaos Cup concluded. Sara being my Patron and the tournament ending early had put a stop to that, though attention from higher beings had never been my reason for going in the first place.

Still, whatever creatures were calling themselves Qebehsenuef and Serket had their attention on me now. One of the issues of this route was grabbing the eyes of the Egyptian pantheon, but it was nothing but a short-term obstacle. I would be upsetting many more before I reached the top of the skyscraper, but very few would hold a grudge. Or, at the very least, very few would care to remember long-term.

For now, it was only a mild inconvenience.

[[Notice]]

The Patron [Qebehsenuef] has turned his gaze away from you.

The Patron [Serket] has turned her gaze away from you.

I blinked in confusion. “Um, Sara?”

[[Patron Message]]

I’m glad you enjoyed the photo so much. I wasn’t sure about it, but it makes me happy seeing you so pumped up like that.

Anyway, I took care of those two. You don’t have to worry about them watching you for any more minor transgressions. I made sure to give them an earful they’ll never forget, and I chased them off even as they started making excuses for glaring at you.

I mean, really, as if they had a leg to stand on when it came to being angry. It was the administrator who made this dungeon this way, they can’t rightfully blame you for playing along to their games. They wanted to, but I smoothed things over.

Sincerely

Sara

“You’re definitely my Guardian Angel, Sara. Thanks,” I said with a chuckle as I snapped the message away. “But, and I just want to say this now while there aren’t any angry wannabe gods looking at us, but I can take care of myself. I appreciate the backup, but you don’t need to fight my battles with Patrons. Especially if there’s a chance that they can figure out your true identity.”

[[Patron Message]]

I’ve liked the ring of that ever since you first said it in Atlanta. Guardian Angel. It sounds nice.

However, there’s no way they’ll figure out who I am. It was one of the terms I added to the System Contact we signed. I am completely anonymous to everyone. If you hadn’t known who I was beforehand, then not even you would have been able to figure things out.

Of course, you’d know this if you had taken the time to learn Enochian, but I won’t fault you for that.

Sincerely,

Sara

“You know we Humans can’t learn Enochian without a skill or passive for it,” I complained.

Even though I was making a fuss, I knew there was a good chance that I’d learn it once my Half-Angel race finally stopped being dormant, but not even Sara was sure when that would be. I snapped open my menu and checked it out for the first time since defeating the Uuska.

[[Status]]

Guildmaster Anthony Franklin

Class: Warmind

Race: Half-Angel (Dormant)

Patron: (Hidden)

Guild: Sol Ligatus

Points: 65,360

“Still listed as dormant,” I confirmed.

[[Patron Message]]

So it is. If it makes you feel any better, I can feel the Angelic spark growing inside of you. You’re still a little baby Half-Angel right now, but you are getting stronger. I won’t say it’s any day now, because I don’t know, but you’re coming into it honestly.

Also, shouldn’t you be moving? Every floor of the skyscraper is mobilized now, so things are going to be active no matter where you go next.

Your Guardian Angel,

Sara

“Ending with that now, are you?” I asked with a chuckle and a shake of my head. “I always take too long here with the crocodile, so I don’t really care that everything else is busy. It’s not like they’re going to chase me down anytime soon. This early in the dungeon, they’re just going to wander aimlessly.”

Stretching, I waved my hand. “Well, I suppose I should still get moving. Jamie should be done at any time now, and I’ll be getting a notification for that. Let’s see if I can beat the next level before she liberates the auction house.”

Walking towards the windows on this side of the building, I pulled out my Vague Stick and broke the glass. I didn’t bother transforming it into a broomstick this time as I jumped outside and used it to Lift myself upwards. Just as Sara had said, the skyscraper was teeming with enemies.

I could see their silhouettes on the other side of the dark glass. They certainly noticed me, because I could see the windows shaking as they tried to get outside. It would be easy to destroy the barrier here and let them fall to their death, but it was a waste of time and effort. They would be getting what was coming to them soon enough.

Skipping past all of the useless floors, I stopped at the 12th. Unlike the ones below and even directly above, there was no movement behind the windows here. Knowing what was on the other side, I reached into my inventory and pulled out the rest of the spicy paste I had gotten from the Artist Alley Player’s Market.

The red chili paste was graded for 20 Constitution, meaning it would be spicy for those around that number, and downright inedible for any far below. For someone like me with a score that completely outclassed it, it would barely be hot. Which was fine, because I was going to use it the same way I used it before.

Balancing on the Vague Stick, I reached into my inventory with my free hand to grab the Endless Smoker.

[[Item]]

Endless Smoker

This item spouts a steady column of never-ending smoke. Various materials can be put inside the Endless Smoker, and the item will use that to produce smoke instead.

I shoved the spicy paste inside, glass jar and all, before leaping towards the window shoulder-first. It shattered under the force, and I Pulled the Vague Stick back to my hand before swinging it into my inventory where it could be safe and sound.

The room I broke into was large with few features. There was a stairway leading upwards nearby, and a stairway leading down on the other side of the room. Beside both of these and in the eight corners were torches that barely illuminated the floor. Unfortunately for my Dungeon Sight, which usually let me see through darkness, it did nothing to pierce through this magical gloom. I could only see that which had been illuminated by fire.

Even with the darkness, the most distinct thing here was the sound.

All throughout the floor was the sound of shifting carapace on carapace and angered hissing not unlike that of a bat. Though that was what it sounded like, I knew better, and I aimed the Endless Smoker forward. As I did so, I retrieved My Golden Bowling Ball before the flames started.

The spicy paste inside the smoker turned it into a potent flamethrower with an efficient fuel source. Even graded at 20 Constitution, it was more potent than regular fire, though a boss wouldn’t be cowed by it. I had used this combination during the Mount Merder event to burn down the forest and make people voluntarily leave the game. Here, I was using it for its intended purpose: utterly destroying my enemies.

As a pillar of flames erupted from the Endless Smoker, the darkness surrounding me disappeared, allowing me to see what was making all that noise. I looked down at the ground where hundreds, possibly even thousands, of jeweled beetles were screaming their tiny death cries as they were lit on fire.

Scarabs.

Wherever the darkness touched in this room, there were scarabs. Unlike the actual insects and more like the fictional interpretation of them, each of these monsters wanted nothing more than to burrow into my flesh and feast on my insides. As I had a vested interest in not letting that happen, I went with my fool’s proof plan to breeze through the fight.

I Lifted the bowling ball into the air and I went with it, holding on with one hand. The Endless Smoker remained pointed towards the ground as I hovered through the room, lighting the carpet of insects ablaze. Scarabs tried to run from my flames, but those who were on fire only spread it to their brethren.

It didn’t take long before the whole room was a sea with no living insects left. Once I was sure I had gotten every last scarab, I placed the Endless Smoker back into my inventory before it could use up all of the chili paste and looked around proudly at my accomplishment. The insect corpses sizzled and released a foul odor, but that was it when it came to the unpleasantness.

The fire soon went out as its fuel was turned to ash, and everything was dark again, though with the scarabs gone I could now see through the room as normal.

The sound of pained screeching met my ears, and I slowly Spun myself so that I could see the new arrivals. In the middle of the room were two monsters with the brown and black-furred bodies of leopards. Their head and neck were long, nearly as long as their tails, and were those of emerald-scaled snakes. Both were lifting their paws off of the ground to avoid the heat lingering in the ashes.

These were called Serpopards, and they tended to come in pairs.

Their momentary distraction was my gain, and I stopped Lifting myself. I hit the ground and wheeled forward on my Heelies. The one closest to me swung its head in my direction, and I put My Golden Bowling Ball in front of me.

On instinct it lunged and bit down on it, but I kept moving forward. The Serpopard’s eyes widened as the bowling ball was shoved further down its throat, and it attempted to pull back.

Denying it, I reached up with my free hand and grabbed one of its large fangs. The tooth was longer than my hand and slick, but I kept it still regardless as I continued to shove the ball further in. Before the other Serpopard could react, I was already shoulder deep, and I retrieved my arm without the ball. The boss choked and wheezed, clawing at its long snake neck, but I wasn’t done.

Before it could throw up the obstruction, I ejected rope from the Vambrace of Wires and tied it off just above the bowling ball’s grotesque lump. The deed was done in a matter of a second, and the other boss pounced on me while I was distracted.

I fell to the floor and slid across the ashen stone as sharp claws dug into my body. Blocking its head from snapping at mine with Force Field, I activated Shield to protect against the claws.

It raised off of me slightly thanks to the psychic barrier, but I would have to do something about it. The Serpopard was much larger than the leopard it was based on and very heavy, but my Strength was high enough that I could get it off of me with a little effort.

Or perhaps a lot of effort. I raised my feet up and pushed it away by the stomach, but its head wrapped around its own legs to bite down on me. The Shield took the damage, but it was still clamped down hard. It attempted to pull me off of the ground, jerking me upwards but its Strength was unable to overcome my high Constitution.

Reaching into my inventory, I pulled out Vermon’s Smash Stick and started wailing on its legs. The Serpopard hissed and screamed as it let go of me. While the Smasher passive might have only worked on inanimate objects, the weapon was still a heavy club. I used Orbit to give my strikes back some of the power they were lacking due to my unfortunate position, and the boss soon backed away.

I kipped up and chased after it, replacing the club with my Vague Stick and willing it into a spear. The monster was very dexterous, and was able to dodge a few of my blows, but I was far smarter and more experienced than it.

The Serpopard opened its mouth wide, and venom shot out of its large fangs. I completely ignored this as I continued to attack. The liquid struck my Shield, but it was only harmful to organic material, and slid down my psychic protection without issue. I couldn’t help but sneer, however; I was a bad matchup for this creature.

After a few thrusts to remember how the Serpopards dodged and moved, I started landing every attack I threw at it. It began with a few nicks here and there, but I was soon dealing critical damage to its chest and neck. I forced it backwards, farther away from its partner, and it attempted to strike at me once its back hit a wall.

Backing up, I gently tossed the Vague Spear into the air and Pushed it forward. The Serpopard attempted to bite down on the stick, but that didn’t do it any good. The weapon brutally pierced down the neck it had graciously straightened for me and became lodged in its chest. Like its partner, it sputtered and coughed before collapsing to the ground.

Behind me, the other Serpopard was already dead. A glance back showed that it had ripped open its neck in an attempt to get rid of the bowling ball lodged inside, and the obstruction was now on the floor beside it covered in a disgusting mixture of vomit and viscera.

At its feet was a skill book, and I picked it up to place it into my inventory. I already knew it was a passive that was good for increasing the efficacy of poisons, which meant it would be good for Jeff. That’s where it was going to end up.

Scratching the back of my head, I returned my attention to the two creatures. “Yeah, this fight’s pretty gruesome,” I said aloud.

Then I cracked my knuckles and got to work. I still had to retrieve my Vague Stick and the monster parts that Ashley could make use of, and that wasn’t going to happen on its own