Chapter 144

50th Floor, The BNY Mellon Center, The Pitt - 2:17 PM

I watched as the contents of the egg oozed all over the sarcophagus. The yolk stretched and spread without any regard for how small its container may have been. Later on in the run, Geraldo would perfect his Fabulous Cleaning Egg, but this early version of it was decidedly not fabulous.

[[Item]]

Magical Fantastical Prototypical Cleansing Egg

This egg, upon cracking it atop your head, will coat your body in a thin yolk that will clean away all but the most cursed areas of your body. Once the egg has worked its magic, the yolk will return to the shell with all of the dirt it cleaned. No refunds or returns!

The prototype egg was enough to scrub away the Coalem Colossus back in Etson. Jess Alurne, someone I had helped at the time, threw it up high and the entire building-sized boss was eaten away in nearly a minute. There were stipulations, like whatever you threw it on had to stay still, but they were easily worked around when using it on inanimate objects.

In this case, the yolk stripped the paint straight off of the gold sarcophagus. It wasn’t enough to dissolve the metal, but I didn’t need it to. The hieroglyphics acting as sealing runes weren’t a part of the container itself, which made removing them with this method easy. I could already see it working through the thin layer of slime.

With the Writhing Belt Whip in hand, I slowly started to back away from the sarcophagus. There were no windows on this floor, so I headed towards the corner by the staircase. The further along the egg cleaned, the more it started to vibrate and shake. One side of the huge container bucked off of the ground, causing the stone floor to crack when it slammed back down.

The boss inside roared and screamed as it struggled. All around the sarcophagus, its golden walls started to warp as it was pushed against from the inside. I crouched down, waiting for it to finally break free. It could sense everything around it to a certain degree, but its crypt made it harder for it to pinpoint me when I was this far away.

After an incredibly long minute, the dirty yolk started receding back into the egg and the sarcophagus became still. The crypt had shifted nearly five feet from the struggle within, and the floor looked nearly ready to cave in underneath it. The dungeon became eerily silent for a few moments.

The egg, now fat from everything it absorbed, shifted and fell onto its side. It rolled off and fell onto the ground where it didn’t crack. I barely breathed, ready to dodge at a moment’s notice in case my calculations were off.

Near the head of the sarcophagus, gold started to bubble upwards. I wrapped my whip around my arm gently as the protrusion started getting larger and larger before it suddenly burst.

A torrent of light escaped and blew a hole in the ceiling. The light was black with a purple aura and continued to pour out of the hole with blinding intensity. Even though I was used to the outrageous glow of Sara’s halo, I still had to shield my eyes. In hindsight, I should have asked Kayla for her glasses.

Rubble started falling from the ceiling before the light started moving in a lazy spiral. The stone above us started disintegrating when the energy beam lingered for too long, and I slowly flattened myself onto my stomach.

The tight spiral quickly started getting wider and faster as the boss inside the sarcophagus gained a wider range of motion. All at once the light jerked downwards and pointed towards its gold prison. Clean cuts appeared wherever the beam touched, and the metal boiled. The light stopped for a second before it reappeared, slicing through the sarcophagus and the room around us.

On the top of my head, a few of my hairs were singed. That was my cue.

Lifting the Writhing Belt Whip as the walls shifted from the damage, I started flying towards the first hole the light made in the ceiling. The limestone was red-hot on the edges, and the stone cavern that was only feet away from the roof was melting as well. I used my Warmind abilities to get as high as I could before the boss freed himself from his prison.

I looked down to see the sarcophagus lid fly towards me, and I took evasive maneuvers. Dodging, I didn’t bother watching as it hit the ceiling, causing more rubble to fall to the ground; my eyes were on the boss.

A mummified Dragon emerged from the sarcophagus and stared at me with glowing, black and purple lights for eyes. Thick linen bandages covered almost everything except for its large, deadly clawed feet. Even though I could barely make out its scales, I knew that they would be black along the outside and gold in the middle. If I had given up all of the hidden objects, then the Dragon would have fully come back to life, and then I certainly would have died.

“I am the Pharaoh,” the Dragon rumbled. “Although you have released me from my prison, you have still destroyed the items necessary for my complete resurrection. Still, I am a gracious lord. Bow down to me, and you may serve.”

“Fuck the Pharaoh,” I replied, still dangling from the Writhing Belt Whip as I flipped him off. I was inching closer to the ceiling, and the Dragon’s eyes seemed to narrow.

“A poor choice of words, Human,” it growled. “Very well. At least make this entertaining.”

The Pharaoh’s cloth-covered wings unfurled, and it flapped them once. Despite its large body, it gained speed incredibly quickly, and I was forced to Lift both my Writhing Belt Whip and Vambrace of Wires in order to move faster. The extra boost in speed got me just out of reach as large teeth chomped down on the spot I had been hovering.

Taking damage from but ultimately ignoring the heat coming off of the stone from both the roof and the cavern, I slid into the small space between the two. The boss was already on me, and as I scrambled to fly through a space small enough that I was basically sliding on my stomach, his claws were tearing away the stone. Under me, the roof crumbled, until the Pharaoh suddenly stopped attacking.

I knew better than to take it as anything other than a change in strategy, and I changed course. The spot I would have been was smashed as the Pharaoh slammed his tail through the roof. Debris from the force of it struck me, and I started bleeding in areas that weren’t protected by the remnants of my clothes. I didn’t bother activating Shield as this was just a small amount of damage and there was still a long fight ahead of me.

Covering my face with my arms, I flew through the small area between the rock and the edge of the roof. The area around me opened up as I entered the most spacious part of the cavern over part of the building, and came to a halting stop. The BNY Mellon center had two sides to it, and I was currently over the smaller side.

Below me, the Pharaoh burst out of his boss room, unfurling his cloth-covered wings as wide as he could. It shifted so that it was moving sideways to land onto the side of the cavern. The Dragon had been moving too fast and wouldn’t have been able to turn despite the magic helping it fly.

As its claws dug into the stone and it clung there, I scoffed. Reaching into my inventory, I pulled out the Vague Stick and returned it to its broomstick form to sit down. I kept the Writhing Belt Whip in hand for the Willpower boost for now, though. The Pharaoh turned its massive head to look up at me.

Dragons were some of the most troublesome bosses in the entire system. They had hit points for days and the strength to trounce most of the bosses on the same level they were. Each was an incredibly dangerous foe that were deceptively agile even when they were the size of cruise ships. Not that the Pharaoh was that large, but there would be some later on that were.

Even with tattered, cloth-covered wings, this boss was able to fly through the cavern with nary a worry about anything except for me. The Dragon’s wings flexed before it started dropping, and they flapped once to instantly change its trajectory towards me. It was an imminent threat, but my attention was divided.

Back on the roof, I could see an old, hunched man with red eyes and yellow pupils staring at me. This was the administrator, Klastrus, trying to figure out what was going on here. He shook his head before disappearing from sight.

This was something I expected; the Pharaoh had been awakened and the administrator had no idea what was going on. He would have to physically be here to see me, and that’s exactly what he had done. Klastrus was much less hands-on than Frastina and Benedict Merder, but still showed up more than that scum sucker Seraphim did.

The moment he disappeared, the Pharaoh had my full attention again. I started Pushing and Dropping the Vague Broomstick to get moving, flying towards the building’s 49th floor. The boss’ huge mouth opened as it changed directions, and I could see down its throat.

I burst through the glass and onto the ground a second before the jaws clamped down behind me. My hood got caught, but I powered forward. It ripped and tore even as I choked myself to escape, and I skidded to a stop on the floor, coughing while I rubbed my neck.

Glass continued to break behind me, and I turned to see the Pharaoh climbing into the building. His huge body scraped against both the floor and the ceiling, but he clawed his way forward. Glowing eyes seemed amused as they stared into mine, and I raised myself onto my Heelies and started rolling backwards.

The Pharaoh easily kept pace with me, even as he had to climb onto the raised platform where I fought the Tomb Guardian. His back and wings pressed into the ceiling, which cracked and gave way to make room for him, barely slowing him down. Once I had enough of a head start, I spun and jumped, mounting the Vague Broomstick as I left the building through the glass I broke earlier and flew upwards.

I didn’t go far, instead waiting to see where the Pharaoh would emerge from. It was tough because I knew he could sense me. Now that he was no longer contained in the sarcophagus, he would know where I was no matter where I hid in this cavern.

Two could play that game. The building shook, and I activated Aura Sense for a quick pulse. He had broken back into his boss chamber and was coming right towards me. I waited for a second before jerking upwards.

Rubble flew away from the wall, and a particularly big chunk hit my foot. It immediately started hurting, not that I could afford to give it any attention. I jerked upwards, doubling down on Lift and doing a barrel roll as huge teeth attempted to sever my legs. The Pharaoh slammed face first into the cavern’s wall, and I stopped hovering.

Pulling the Vague Broomstick out from between my legs, I willed it to change into a spear and used my Warmind abilities to Drop both it and myself onto the Pharaoh. The spearhead met resistance when it hit the surprisingly sturdy cloth that was wrapped all around the Dragon, but it slipped through and slid against his scales.

The Pharaoh laughed as his thick skin, desiccated as it was, prevented my attack from penetrating. His claws dug into the wall as I pulled the Vague Spear to try again. There was a proper angle to this, but with the Dragon constantly shifting it was hard to get it just right.

Before I had a chance to strike again, the Pharaoh jumped. I fell, flattening myself against the Dragon as he carefully maneuvered himself. We fell through the window on a lower floor and took out several mummified kobolds as the boss rampaged through to the other side. His back rose to push me against the ceiling, but I rolled to the side, hanging onto the sturdy linen strips for dear life.

“By the power of Enigma Hemingway!” I yelled, coughing as I got dust and rubble in my mouth. Still, it was enough to activate Ostwriter’s Plot Armor. Page after page of the worst manuscript on Earth flew out of my inventory to coat me in armor reminiscent of a medieval knight.

The imagery I was evoking of a knight fighting a Dragon was not lost on me, I just didn’t have time to give it much thought.

We barreled through the room with no regard for its architecture or inhabitants, and I attempted to stab the Pharaoh a few more times. My Writhing Belt Whip was wrapped around my arm, allowing me to hang on with one hand and attack with the Vague Spear, but I couldn’t get a good angle. I flattened myself against the Dragon again as it turned and skidded into the wall.

I was shoved into the stone between the windows. Not even that could stop our momentum and we broke free, falling again as we made it outside. My back was killing me despite the armor, but I didn’t let go. The Pharaoh continued to laugh as he spread out his wings and slowed himself down. Futilely, I attempted to stab a few more times before throwing my Vague Stick into my inventory.

“Giving up so easily?” the Pharaoh asked, his voice oozing with self-satisfaction. “I told you to make this entertaining for me.”

“Shut up!” I growled.

I threw myself upwards onto the Dragon’s back and pulled out Vermon’s Smash Stick. I brought it down hard right between the wings. Once, twice, three times, but it didn’t do much damage at all. The linen bandages were absorbing most of the impact and the Smasher passive didn’t do much to them. Switching gears, I aimed for the Pharaoh’s wing.

My Smash Stick collided with the bone, but didn’t do much but destabilize us. The Pharaoh graciously held still, barely flapping and holding us aloft, as he allowed the attacks. His arrogance was truly something else, though that was a problem that the vast majority of Dragons had going for them. I tossed the club back into my inventory.

“As you can see, you cannot hope to harm me,” the Pharaoh said. His wings flapped lazily as he turned his long neck to look back at me. “A mere Human could never hope to match a Dragon. Save us both the time and give up now.”

“Never, you overgrown lizard,” I spat.

The amused look on the Pharaoh’s face disappeared, replaced with one of disdain. “You would be wise not to provoke me more than you already have, Human.”

“You’ll find that you’re the one that’s lacking wisdom,” I said. “Because I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

“They will do you no good. The difference between us is too vast.”

“It is, but not in the direction you think,” I claimed. “You best learn the name. I’m Anthony Franklin, Dragon Slayer.”

Reaching into my inventory, I pulled out the Endless Smoker. Flames continued to pour forth from it, and I swung it downwards in a fast arc. The linen fibers along the Pharaoh’s back lit on fire immediately, and the Dragon began to struggle. Not from pain, but from indignation. It cast magic for the first time. Nothing seriously dangerous, but a large bubble of water appeared above us.

Reaching down, I tucked the makeshift flamethrower into the folds of the linen bandages where it couldn’t come free easily. The bubble fell, drenching us in water cold enough to cause me to instantly start shivering and putting out the flames that were already raging. The Endless Smoker didn’t let up; it would soon dry things out and reignite the fire again.

I wasn’t done yet. While the Pharaoh was angry and distracted, I reached into my inventory again and pulled out the pair of rusted loppers I had received from the Watermelon Walter fight. It wasn’t a particularly powerful item, giving me only a +3 in Strength, Dexterity, and Constitution, but it had one skill that made it incredibly handy.

Diving towards the closest wing, I had both hands on Walter’s Rusted Loppers and put the blades around the Pharaoh’s wing where the bone met his back.

“You fool!” the Dragon started.

“That’s Anthony Fucking Franklin to you, dumbass!” I yelled as I closed the blades as hard as I could, activating the Shear Through skill.

[[Skill]]

Shear Through

When using Walter’s Rusted Loppers, you can activate Shear Through to cut through almost anything you can put between the blades, both organic and inorganic. After using this skill, you cannot use it again for 1 hour.

The loppers sliced clean through the linen bandages, dull scales, and Dragon bone like a hot knife through butter. I jumped, grabbing the newly amputated wing and shoving it and the weapon into my inventory as the Pharaoh began to fall towards the ground. He did not go quietly, screaming curses at me even as I descended slowly after him.

There was no helping my grin as he fell onto the edge of the roof below, causing it to cave in before he fell to the ground of the cavern proper. Even though there was reason to celebrate, the fight wasn’t over just yet. Phases one and two, instill a false sense of security and cripple the Pharaoh, was complete.

I let myself fall faster to the ground, where I was excited to start my favorite phase: tower demolition.