Whatcom

Lately, I’ve been working with several new photographers in the Seattle area and have truly enjoyed creating unique and expressive work—some of which I’ll be sharing soon. Along the way, I’ve also had a range of experiences worth acknowledging.

Sometimes, everything on a shoot is completely professional. Other times, unfortunately, the dynamic can be uncomfortable.

One particular experience stands out: I scheduled a shoot with a photographer who’s fairly well-known locally—someone who’s worked with a number of my peers, including young dancers and professionals in the media. The shoot took place at Whatcom Falls. Since I could only secure a ride one way, I asked if he’d be okay driving me home afterward. That was agreed upon in advance.

At the shoot, I modeled in both a dress and a bikini, and we included some tasteful artistic nude work. While I was posing, he barely directed or photographed, choosing instead to smoke while holding his camera with the viewfinder up, saying things like “that’s great—awesome, next” after only a few clicks.

But what truly crossed a line was what happened after. During the drive back, in the middle of a casual conversation, he suddenly said, “Well, I didn’t even get a handjob!” and followed it up with a remark about how he’d be happy to work with my friends in exchange for “just a burger and a handjob.”

I want to pause here and ask: if I, as a woman, had said something like, “Wow, I didn’t even get fingered,” after a shoot—how would that be received? Would anyone find that appropriate? Could I justify that as funny, especially if I said it to someone who had no choice but to sit next to me in a car on the way home?

This kind of comment—especially after a vulnerable shoot involving swimwear and nudity—is completely inappropriate and deeply unsettling.

I’m sharing this not to create drama, but because these experiences happen more often than they should. Modeling requires trust and respect, and I want to help normalize talking about boundaries and professionalism in creative work.