Full Of It #206 - My Relationships

I'm 41 and a lesbian. I felt a lot of this "going through the motions," "this is what I'm supposed to do" sort of stuff that you speak of. And even in the beginning of my relationships with women, the awkward, not knowing how shit works. My wife and I talk sometimes about how we (the gays) are the only group of people not raised by people like us. Maybe nowadays there are gays raising gay kids but they must be few and far between. It allows me to have some forgiveness for myself for the early ignorance. I don't worry so much anymore about how poorly I treated women I dated when I was a new gay. Definitely cringe and wish I could make some decisions a bit better. I appreciate you and your content. This was very thoughtful. Thank you!

Emily Kemp

Oh wow I just moved so I’m playing catch up. I had very weird awkward relationship experiences in my life!! Being a visually impaired person in public school nobody wanted to even come near me half the time I guess they thought I was contagious LOL so I kind of resigned myself to not finding my person even though it was eighth grade. After that my vision started getting worse so I sent to the school for the blind in Staunton Virginia. Holy hell was it such a different experience! It seem like anything and everything any person wanted to do up at that school was have sex! Keep in mind I was 14 at the time so I wasn’t having any of that but when you get around a group of I guess people that are similar to you mind being blind people age, race, pretty much everything flies out the window. It seems like everything was acceptable then my last year I was there for ninth grade I was dating a guy that was 21 years old and nobody had a problem with it! So fast forward I spent my 10th 11th and 12th grade years at public school due to impart the fact that no one had a problem with a 15 year old dating a 21-year-old lol. I met a couple of guys they were only interested in having fun if you know what I mean lol. I pretty much thought I would be single the rest of my life because I wasn’t really into putting out for people I didn’t know. Being blind being in public school not being super popular being weird and awkward led to of course drinking a lot and doing some fun drugs. 12th grade year I met a guy that didn’t give a crap if I was blind or not except for that I bowled really bad lol he told me if I wanted to be with him and I wanted to be serious to cut all the stupid shit out so I did! Fast forward to 2022 we’re celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary! So if there’s a message to people out there have those experiences have the heartaches have the being pissed off have the awkward moments where someone wants to feel you up and you don’t want to because it will lead to happiness in the end and you’ll find your person!❤️❤️

Karen Shupp

My neck is caught in the sink….

Marcel

I still don’t know what you mean when you say, “I’m not going to eat my tea!” I’m so painfully American that to me, tea is a drink and I honestly hate hot tea so I don’t drink it.

Lorna Hale

This was a nice pod, felt myself relating to a lot of what you said and its comforting to know so many people go through the same shit. I too have only ever broken up with one person in my life, he was very sweet and seemed to really like me so when I ended it I felt like an absoulte monster. Ive felt heartbreak a few times and knowing youre responsible for giving someone else that feeling is the worst.

Murray

As the fat chick in school, I didn't have any kind of relationships in my youth, but once I left I did play the field a fair bit after parting ways with a bloke who was way to old for me at 19. I then met my son's dad, again, I was young, so was he, and we broke up when my son was 4 (he's now 23). I then met my husband online via love @ lycos - a site I don't think even exists any more, and we used to chat every night via MSN, so it was funny to me when you mentioned it from your younger days! We've been together 17 years this year, and of all the people I've had relationships of any kind with, he's, without a shadow of a doubt, my soulmate. When you can be your complete self with someone, that's the magic formula (IMO). If I ever found myself in the situation of having to date again, I really don't think I would bother - so much effort ha! But one thing I would love to feel all over again, is those first flutters of love - when you're getting to know someone, and all the "first times" that come with it. Hope your family visits go well and I wish everyone well. <3 Laters potaters xx

My best friend and I found out a couple of years into our friendship that at the age of about 16/17 we slept with the same person. We then found out another friend ALSO slept with that person. This is now three queer people of different genders sleeping with this one person who we googled and found out was now a massive homophobe and a vicar?? Well, my flabber has never been so gasted. Also I can’t get the phrase “you wouldn’t bum a swan” out of my head

It was meee I requested this 🥹 girl you were a serial snogger 😂 The first boy I ever dated I was like 15 and he was the only gay guy in my school and I was so keen on getting with him because I apparently had no sense of the fact that other gay people exist in the world 😩 but I suppose you do that sort of thing when you’re that young. Now I can’t be fucked with other gay guys…. I’m just that sort now😂 Regarding that asshole who just left you fucked in a house for two weeks, it all worked out because you found Nova. It’s very obvious the pair of you were very much meant for each other, and I think all of us single listeners hope to one day find our Nova or Olympia🥹 Can’t wait for the next one

you don't have to read this comment out, you'll be here all day. Just wanted to add my 2 pence to the discussion

Tommy

This feels like a right of passage of the 2000's gayer experience. I desperately wanted a girlfriend when I was a teen just to get people to leave me alone - which is quite sad really. I knew I was gay from around 12/13 but didn't understand what to do with that information until a lot later on You didn't touch upon the obligatory straight boy fantasy - a curse of the teen gay. I was wondering if you had that experience or if you were lucky enough to skip it? I know you've mentioned before a bully you liked in school and then there was your field experience with your straight friend. I was that insufferable type who seemed to only find straight men attractive when I was younger and fell madly in "love" with a few straight guys over the years. Made worse of course by them leading me on and enjoying the attention. Then uni really made me reflect on my behaviours and genuinely changed me as a person. I hate to think back at who I was before uni because I was just like a lost soul, not understanding the basics of relationships and sex and all that stuff (was quite late to the party) Had a few relationships in adulthood and my worst break up was with a guy who I was really into and he was the first *actually* gay guy I liked who liked me back. It was all very passionate and dramatic but one day he just decided that he didn't want me anymore and broke it off. I was heartbroken. I'd never experienced literal pain like that before and it took me years to get over that. He crosses my mind occasionally now - I think as more of the memory of my first relationship. I have felt a lot of animosity towards him over the years and find it difficult to forgive him for making me feel so shit but, through talking about it and reflecting on it, I have discovered that it really didn't have much to do with him anyway and it was mainly about me wanting the relationship more than the guy I've had a long term relationship since then that ended only recently but for the first time ever I can say that I actually am very happy being single and being alone. I wouldn't say no to a new love interest but I'm not looking for it. And I think that's a great place to be at

Tommy

I came out Freshman year of High School in 06. Don’t know how I got the confidence to do so because it was very unlike me to do anything to have people notice me or talk about me. I think after have the constant denial thoughts in my head all through middle school I just couldn’t take it anymore. I am still quite shocked at myself for coming out so young, especially during the mid 00’s. Sadly didn’t date anyone till college because I lived in the Midwest and no one wanted to risk being outed. The amount of guys I went to school with that are out as gay now! I never knew!! Lol

Austin Tolson