Muscle Boy's Desires- Gainer Diary

I keep hitting the gym hard. I love seeing my muscles get pumped up at the gym. I love feeling strong..masculine. My hairy, muscular body intimidates the smaller hairless boys in the gym, and I love it...

But my desires... My deep down desires... My real desires... They are itching to get out... To be fulfilled.

By myself I can keep those desires at bay. I can focus on becoming a muscle beast. Growing my muscles. Pumping iron... Forcing protein down my throat... Being an alpha... Topping smaller, less masculine men.

But it doesn't take much to push me into a spiral. Just the smallest amount of encouragement... Praise... Teasing... It sends me into a spiral of lust and desire. My brain gets foggy, and I can't think straight. I start to feel pleasure in parts of my body I otherwise would not have felt.

It's not a usual desire... Not one that makes me proud... It's a desire I try to ignore, but it always comes back with a vengeance, making me crazier and more out of control each time it returns.

I want to be fat.

No.

I want to be fattened.

I want to be a pig.

I want to be transformed inside and out.

I want my brain to turn to that of a fat lazy pig man, and I want my body to follow suit. I want fat to accumulate around my waist and my face. I desire for my hairy ass to inflate and my pecs to sag. I need to become unrecognizably fat.

I want to be coaxed into my desires and lose myself to them. Only thinking about eating and getting off. I want my protein drinks to be replaced with fattening creamy shakes. The thought makes me hornier than anything- it's my biggest desire in life. It makes me feel complete.

...

I become submissive, too.

As a muscle boy, I have no desire to bottom for another man. I have tried, but I can never truly give into it...But, when I think about turning into a pig, I want to be used for pleasure. I yearn to have my hole stretched out until I can be fisted as I eat and eat.

...

I know this is all a little strange and very taboo... But there's no use- I can't hide it anymore.... It's who I am ... It's who I'm going to be... It's what I desire...