GITJ Post 459: People are Weird

”R-Randi…what’s up?” answered Josie Jensen, young medical assistant at Far Horizons Me-...Far Horizons Evolution Center, “It’s, like, not even eight o’clock.” Her phone had buzzed her out of a nicely deep sleep, and she needed to rub the gunk out of her eyes to glance at her friend Lakshmi, still sleeping with her back towards her on the far side of the king-sized bed.

“Yeah hey sorry to wake you up,” spoke Randi over the phone, “but we had a, like, situation-thing at the office just now. It kind of freaked me out, I needed to tell someone.”

“Omigod are you there right now?” replied Josie, now sitting up stock-straight against the headboard. Next to her, Lakshmi had been stirred by Josie’s sudden change in tone. “Are you alright??”

“Yeah yeah yeah I’m fine,” answered Randi, doing her best to sound her typical, dismissive self, “And, remember…language.”

“Oh yeah sorry. Tell me what happened…”

Next to Josie, Lakshmi had turned her head, just now realizing Josie was speaking to someone on the phone. “Is that Randi?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Josie answered Lakshmi, just as Randi was beginning to speak.

“Yeah at, like, just before seven I was home, in bed. I was thinking about heading to the gym. I got an alert on the security app from the office,” she began, “There was something going on in the parking lot. I checked the cams and all these people were, like, gathering outside the front door. Just kind of, standing there, waiting.”

“Okay weird yeah and..?” Josie prompted, as Lakshmi sat up in bed next to her. She’d borrowed some night clothes from Josie, who had been kind enough to let her crash in her room last night after the fuckery that went on back at her mom’s house.

“Yeah so I know some of the new girls from California are going to be, like, security guards or whatever, and they’re all staying upstairs already,” Randi continued, “but I don’t have their number yet, so I-“

”You drove down there?” Josie interrupted, “By yourself?”

“Yeah. Under my coat I’m still in my fucking pajamas,” Randi quipped, “Anyway, I get here, and there’s like two dozen people, just randos, wanting to get in.”

Lakshmi had by now leaned over, trying to hear. “What did they want?” she spoke into Josie’s phone.

“Oh, hey Kiki,” Randi greeted, “Well, it sounds like some people saw the news-thing last night and took Missy inviting them to ‘come see her’ too literally.” She paused. “They all wanted to see her.” 

“Don’t they know we’re, like, closed on Saturday?” Josie asked.

“Apparently not,” answered Randi, “They just couldn’t stay away I guess.”

“But it is so early,” offered Lakshmi.

“Yeah do they think she, like, sleeps at the office?” added Josie.

“She actually did, last night, up in his place,” Randi continued, “Her mom needed the house for the weekend so-”

“Ahh yah I get it,” Josie put in. An endearing accent from a childhood spent in Wisconsin showed hints of itself at times. “So  - you get to the office, find all these crazy people in the parking lot jonesing to see Missy. What’d you do?”

Lakshmi cut in. “Did you wake her up? Tell her?”

“No I thought it might freak her out.”

“Or, she might love it…” offered Josie.

“Yeah I dunno,” Randi said, “Anyway, I figured I had to do something, try talking to them first before - I dunno - calling the cops. Maybe I could get them to go away.” To her friends, the normally unflappable Randi seemed a little off.

“And..?” asked Josie.

“How did it go?” asked Lakshmi.

“It was weird. I got out of my car, got up in front of them in my puffer jacket, my slippers and last night’s makeup still. Baseball hat,” she began again, describing the scene, “Everybody was looking at me. I felt like halfway in between like I was in front of a three ring circus or about to give a fucking sermon.”

Something in what Randi had just said made the two girls, privately, shiver. And not in a bad way.

“I found myself telling them how much Missy loved their attention,” Randi continued, “how much she appreciated them but that she ‘wouldn’t be making an appearance today’. Eventually, I got them all to listen to me and they went away.”

“Wow for real?” marveled Josie, “Good job.”

“Yes good job,” added Lakshmi.

“Yeah I guess…” Randi retorted, “...but some of them left stuff.” 

That furrowed Josie’s brow. “Like…what?”

“Like, money,” answered Randi, plainly, but clearly understanding the bizarreness of the situation, “Some candles they’d lit. Letters. Other weird shit.”

“Money??” remarked Josie.

“Yeah I’ve got it right here,” answered Randi, glancing down at the big yellow envelope she’d stuffed full of bills, not all of them small ones. There were also the letters, poems, odes. A box of chocolates. “We should talk about what to do with it all, I guess.”

Everyone paused. Something unspoken was happening.

“People are weird,” Josie finally said.

“So weird.”

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