Steven Basic

Growing into the Job, Post 500 (!!!): A Day at Far Horizons: Geriatrics (FHMA), p2

Added 2025-03-12 21:00:07 +0000 UTC

I sat alone in the exam room, staring at my hands, flexing my fingers open and closed as if they might hold an answer. The room felt larger now with that enormous woman gone, or maybe I was just feeling smaller in it. Either way, the air felt tight.

I exhaled sharply, trying to shake off the heat still lingering in my face. Jesus Christ, what the hell had that just been?

Jewel Montgomery. Jewel. Montgomery. The new PA. My “Physician's Assistant”.

My…colleague.

I shifted uncomfortably on the stool - too big for me now, everything was too big - and rubbed a hand over my jaw. I was still vaguely aware of the way Lakshmi had watched me flounder with Jewel, who was obviously flirting with me. Or was she just being nice? Maybe she was just that way? Either way, I’d acted like a smitten middle-schooler with her as Lakshmi looked on, her expression unreadable. I was pretty sure, though, that she felt something between unimpressed and kinda concerned.

And could I blame her?

From the second that oversized, gorgeous woman had walked in, I hadn’t even been able to function like a normal human being. I’d stammered, fumbled, let myself get steamrolled by her presence, by the way she smiled, by the way she looked at me.

She knew exactly what she was doing, didn’t she? Or was sheactually impressed with me, my accomplishments, my status here as a physician? Is that why she was so flattering, so…whatever that was.

Anyway…I’d let it happen. Just like I always do. And now I’d agreed to sit with her so she could teach me the new EHR system later today? Uchhh…

I squeezed my eyes shut, exhaling through my nose, willing my heart rate to settle.

This morning had already been off - the tiny humiliations adding up, one after the other. Being locked out of my own office. Aubrey’s sweet, sympathetic smile. The missing nameplate. The quiet voices of patients whispering about my appearance as I walked by in the hallway:

“He looks so much shorter in person…” “I swear, he used to be taller…” “Are you sure that’s him?”

I swallowed.

The signs were all there. The same practice, the same building - but I wasn’t the same in it anymore. My role was shifting. My authority was fading. And Melissa?

God. Melissa.

It had only been a few hours. Just a few hours apart, and yet my stomach twisted at the realization: she hasn’t reached out to me once since she left my apartment this morning. Not a text. Not a call. Not a single moment where she’d drifted into my space, where I could feel her warmth for a minute, grounding me. That was all unusual for her.

She wasn’t even in her office: I checked. She was probably in the other wing, doing whatever it was she had to do. The new wing. Her wing.

I ran my fingers over my scalp, jaw tightening. Why was I feeling this way? Why did it feel like something inside me was unraveling just because she wasn’t here?

Needy. That’s what it was. I felt needy. And I hated it.

I wasn’t like this. I shouldn’t be like this. I was a grown man, a doctor, I’d built my whole career on keeping myself steady, being the reliable one, the professional one.

Except…

I breathed out slowly.

Except that was never really true, was it?

Not when it came to women. Pretty women. It had always been a problem. This morning, just a couple minutes ago, was a prime example. But even before Jewel, before Melissa, before all of this: how many times had I found myself caught in the orbit of someone too cute, too shapely, too charming? How many times had I let myself be distracted, pulled off my own course by their gravity - not even always by anything overt, not by anything even truly inappropriate on their part or mine, but just by me…being too weak? Too eager to please. Too easy to influence. And where had it gotten me?

I glanced at the screen in front of me, at the screen of the new, unfamiliar EHR. My notes were still unfinished. My charting was behind. My head was spinning. And Jewel Montgomery’s perfume still lingered in the air, like she’d left something behind on purpose.

I dug this hole myself. And now I was sitting in it.

At the very least, I should get my notes in for my first few patients before I moved onto the next one. I’d been working with a new medical assistant this morning, one that had come on the bus from California. For the day Lakshmi had been assigned to the new PA, to help show her the ropes, and I was doing the same with the new MA. She was, like everyone that had gotten off that bus, a drop-dead stunner. Maybe not quite the hydrogen bombshell that was Jewel Montgomery, but still tall and shapely and I was really nice to her and she smelled good and…wow, I don’t even remember her name, though.

Alright, back to these charts and this damn new EHR. Where was I - oh yeah. I needed ICD-13 codes for Mr. Samson’s…whatever that was on his face.

Hmm. What’s that? A red envelope icon at the top of the screen. This EHR has an internal DM system; I’d heard that. And maybe I have a message…

I stared at the notification, and my pulse suddenly hammered in my throat.

No. No way.

For a moment, I didn’t move. I just stared. Maybe I was imagining things. Rina Rubens?!? That Rina Rubens?!! Rina Rubens was the - I’m sure I’ve told you this before - the young MA of mine that I’d, uh, had an affair with, about four years ago. The one that - after my wife-at-the-time Sheryl had found out about and made me break it off - quit in a rage. It was an outburst through which she’d screamed my, ugh, infantile predilections in intimacy to the rooftops and all my other employees. Again, that was about four years ago, and after that morning, I hadn’t heard from her or of her. Maybe this, this internal DM, was from another ‘Rina Rubens’? Maybe there were other people with that name in the medical field, maybe one that now has a job here and access to our EHR internal messaging system? That could be it, right?

But - after I clicked on it, I knew it - no. The subject line was simple, casual, and utterly horrifying:

SUBJ: "Hi! Remember me? 😊"

My breath left me in a sharp exhale. I was suddenly way too warm. The room now felt smaller, the stool under me too big, the air too tight. My fingers hovered over the keyboard, my mind scrambling through every possible reason this could be happening.

What the hell was this? Where was she?

I forced myself to click it open.

_________________________________

Rina Rubens – Today, 11:47 AM

Hi! Remember me? 😊

_________________________________

I swallowed hard. That was all it was, the message. Just that.

And a picture…

A million thoughts surged through my head, but only one made it to my fingers:

________________________________________________

Reply - Today, 11:48 AM

Rina?

________________________________________________

I hovered over the <Send> button for a second too long before forcing myself to hit it. My hands were clammy. I wiped them on my scrubs, my stomach tightening in dread and one single thought:

I shouldn’t be engaging with this. I shouldn’t.

What had I just been telling myself? About the gravity of pretty women? Trying to keep my own orbit?

But…what? Was I supposed to just ignore it?

Her reply came instantly.

________________________________________________

Rina Rubens – Today, 11:48 AM

Ding ding ding! You got it, doc! You recognized me! Or was it THEM you recognized haha? How are you? Bet you weren’t expecting to hear from me again, huh? 😉

________________________________________________

I swallowed. No. No, I absolutely was not.

Jesus Christ, what did she want?

I hesitated, then typed:

________________________________________________

Reply – Today, 11:49 AM

I’m fine and no, I wasn’t. Where are you? How are you messaging me?

________________________________________________

I hated how that sounded. Defensive. But I couldn’t help it.

Her response popped up before I could even brace myself:

________________________________________________

Rina Rubens – Today, 11:49 AM

Wow. No “how have you been”? No “congratulations on your amazing new job”? You always were bad at small talk haha.

________________________________________________

I blinked.

Amazing new job? Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

A creeping sensation crawled up my spine.

No. No fucking way.

________________________________________________

Reply – Today, 11:50 AM

What new job?

________________________________________________

I shouldn’t have asked.

The moment I hit <Send>, I regretted it. Because her answer was a kill shot.

________________________________________________

Rina Rubens – Today, 11:50 AM

Oh, didn’t you hear? I work here now. I’m the new Chief Compliance Officer for Evolution Pharmaceuticals. I usually work in the headquarters but they gave me a second office here in the FHEC research wing. My team and me helped get the Product its final FDA approval after the study at FHMA. Thanks for doing that, btw.

Crazy, right? Small world huh.

________________________________________________

The floor might as well have dropped out from under me.

I sat frozen, staring at the screen, my thoughts crashing into each other in sheer panic.

No. No, this wasn’t real.

She wasn’t here. She couldn’t be here.

I hadn’t seen her in four years. Four years!! Four years since that disastrous, humiliating mess where she’d aired every filthy, embarrassing detail of our affair to the entire FHMA staff before storming out. I thought she’d disappeared after that. That she’d moved on with her life.

But no. She was here. She was back. And she was - what? - some kind of executive? With Evolution? The company that controlled all the, uh, money?

________________________________________________

Reply– Today, 11:51 AM

You’re joking.

________________________________________________

Rina Rubens – Today, 11:51 AM

Nope! Just got my office here all set up. And guess what? My office is bigger than yours was!

________________________________________________

I exhaled sharply through my nose, trying not to absolutely lose my shit.

This isn’t happening.

My chest tightened. My mind raced. How much did she know? About me? About me and Melissa? About - auuugh!!

I hesitated before typing.

________________________________________________

Reply – Today, 11:52 AM

What do they have you doing here?

________________________________________________

Rina Rubens – Today, 11:52 AM

Oh, you know. Making sure everything runs smoothly. Helping Product study still, maybe some new stuff - some stuff from Russia cooking too. Helping Far Horizons.

How’s Melissa? I met her on Friday night at the gala. She’s an absolute DOLL. Missed you though too bad. Fun night. I’m supposed to have tea with her later this afternoon. I’m sure we’ll have lots to talk about haha.

________________________________________________

THEY’RE GOING TO HAVE TEA TOGETHER?!?

My stomach lurched. The air in my chest turned to cement.

She knows??? Of course she fucking knows, about me and Melissa.

I stared at the screen, my fingers twitching over the keys, unsure how to respond.

What the fuck was happening? Why hadn’t Melissa said something to me? She knew who Rina was, right?? Rina had been in my past. A mistake. A disaster, one of the nails in the coffin of my marriage. Something I’d shoved into the darkest corners of my shame and left to rot.

And now? Now she was right here, inside my world, inside the system, inside my fucking inbox.

And…was she enjoying this? Because she sounded like she was enjoying this. She was playing with me. She had power now. And she wanted me to know it.

________________________________________________

Rina Rubens – Today, 11:53 AM

So… when are you gonna come say hi? 😊

________________________________________________

I swallowed thickly. I knew I had no control over this situation. I needed to get out of this conversation. I needed to stop engaging, stop giving her the satisfaction. I needed to think.

________________________________________________

Reply – Today, 11:53 AM

I have patients to see.

________________________________________________

A heartbeat later, her final message appeared. And it was the worst one yet.

________________________________________________

Rina Rubens – Today, 11:54 AM

Oh, don’t worry, Dr J. .
We have all the time in the world.😉

________________________________________________

I shoved the keyboard away from me.

Fuck!

My heart was in my throat. The air in the exam room was suffocating. I ran a shaking hand over my face.

This is bad. This is really, really bad.

I put my head into my hands. My fucking charts could wait. Rina?!? Here?!? I imagined - I dunno - running into her in the parking lot. Or at a meeting. In front of everyone. Ugh! And what…what if she hit it off with Melissa and…and…and they became friends?!? Horrible!!

<ding>

What now? Another red envelope. Another DM.

Great. What could this be??

________________________________________________