Draconic Funhouse: Motherfucking Dragon vs. Grimm Queen [RWBY, SI WC] (ch. 1)

Had to delay the Khaos chapter a bit due to having to get my dog to the vet (nothing too bad, but he will have to have surgery in early sept

Had to delay the Khaos chapter a bit due to having to get my dog to the vet (nothing too bad, but he will have to have surgery in early september to remove some weird thingie that was growing on his chest) but I did have time to refine this chapter that I already had written so I decided this was better than nothing and went with it.

This would be a short fic, not as short as Unlimited Medea Works, or To be Happy Ever After, but definitely shouldn't go much above 20 chapters, if it even reaches that much.

This is using the old version of the Dragon Heritage btw, since this fic was originally written while that one was the Official.

Anyways, as always, hope you enjoy it. Khaos should return tomorrow if all goes well.

- - - - - - -

The airship hums with life, filled with the chatter of students bound for Beacon Academy. Among them, Ruby Rose is desperately trying to avoid making a scene before school even begins.

“Everyone at Beacon is gonna think you’re the bee’s knees!”

Ruby squirms under her sister's gaze, grumbling. “I don’t want to be the ‘bee’s knees,’ okay? I don’t want to be any kind of knees. I just want to be a normal girl with normal knees.” Her voice carries a slight worry.

Yang tilts her head, eyes filled with curiosity. “What’s with you? Aren’t you excited?” she asks, still buzzing with energy.

Ruby sighs, fidgeting with her cloak. “Of course I’m excited. I just… I got moved ahead two years. I don’t want people to think I’m special or anything.”

Yang smiles and drapes an arm around her in a one-armed hug. “But you are special.”

Ruby huffs but doesn’t pull away. The moment is brief, however, as her attention is quickly drawn elsewhere. The airship’s large screen flickers, and the ever-composed face of Lisa Lavender, one of Remnant’s most recognizable journalists, appears. But something about her looks... off. Pale. Tense.

The background chatter starts to die down, a quiet tension settling over the students as Lisa’s voice cuts through the silence.

“We interrupt this program for a special broadcast from Vacuo’s northern district,” she announces in her polished, professional tone. “Reports are emerging of an unidentified huntsman engaged in combat with what can only be described as a ‘humanoid Grimm.’”

The screen shifts to a shaky, handheld camera feed. A woman appears—slightly pudgy, her disheveled hair sticking to her sweat-slicked forehead. Her breathing is labored, her expression stricken with panic, but she forces herself to speak into the camera.

“The city—gods, the city’s in ruins.” Behind her, the desert metropolis of Vacuo is a smoldering graveyard of collapsed buildings and shattered streets. “They just—there was nothing we could do! We—”

A deafening crash interrupts her. She yelps, the camera swinging wildly to focus on the source of the sound. A figure emerges from the settling dust.

The humanoid Grimm.

Ruby’s breath catches in her throat. The woman—no, the creature—stands amidst the wreckage, her body horrifically damaged yet unmistakably alive. Her clothes hang in tatters, barely covering her, and her injuries are grotesque: a missing arm, a gaping hole in her stomach, and half of her head cleaved away. But before Ruby’s eyes, the wounds begin to heal. Flesh knits together, bones reform, and the woman’s body regenerates with an unnatural, terrifying speed.

A collective gasp ripples through the airship. Ruby’s own breath catches in her throat, her hands tightening into fists. Around her, she hears others react in kind. A few whisper. Others simply watch in stunned silence.

Yang grabs Ruby’s hand, pulling her closer. For once, Ruby doesn’t protest.

Then, something crashes into the ground in front of the terrified reporter. The impact sends a shockwave through the sand, dust billowing out. As the haze clears, the camera focuses on the newcomer.

A young man, seemingly no older than Yang. Auburn-haired. His clothes are tattered, most of them shredded away, revealing a physique carved from battle. He lands in the classic three-point stance—one fist pressed into the cracked earth, the other arm bracing himself, legs coiled like a predator ready to pounce.

Slowly, he rises to his feet. And then, to everyone’s astonishment, he smiles at the Grimm woman.

“All right, Salem,” he says, rolling his shoulders. His voice is calm, almost playful. “Round two.”

- - -

How did it end up like this?

The thought flickers through my mind, even as excitement bubbles in my chest. I had chosen the Grimmlands due to its higher Danger Rating, and had intended to stay just long enough to cash in on the credit boost before making a quick exit. What I didn’t expect was to run into Salem within minutes of arriving.

One moment, I was preparing for my journey. The next? I was hurtling through the air, smashing through three different rock formations, spitting out blood and bone fragments.

I shake my head, dispelling the memory.

Hovering in the air, I watch as Salem’s body knits itself back together. My human-draconic form is on full display—scaled skin of metallic auburn, clawed fingers flexing, tail curling behind me. I chose Metal as an Element due to the protection it offered since pain was something I feared quite a bit.

Well, I suppose had feared would be more accurate now.

A grin stretches across my face. I let go of my draconic form and begin to fall. The wind howls past my ears as I plummet, landing with a force that sends cracks spidering through the ground. My fist is pressed into the dirt, my body coiled from impact—classic superhero pose.

Salem glares down at me with pure hatred, but I don’t flinch. My mental clock is ticking. Two minutes since I bit her. Three minutes till her Capture.

She spits to the side, her hands beginning to glow with raw power, the air around her warping under its intensity. Fear prickles in my gut, unwanted but present. Even knowing I can’t die from this, it still unsettles me.

“I don’t know who you are or where you came from,” she snarls. “But I’ll make you regret this, boy.”

I shake my head, exhaling sharply. “It’s a shame you’re not having fun,” I muse. “Because this? This is the most fun I’ve ever had.”

Her sneer deepens. “Let’s see how much fun you’re having when you end up in the stomach of an actual dragon.”

A roar shakes the air. My head snaps up just as the titanic grimm looms into view, its massive wings blotting out the sky. The few humans still lingering finally lose their nerve, sprinting away.

I stare up at the beast, and—against all logic—my vision blurs with unshed tears. Salem scoffs, but before she can say a word, I manage to choke out a quiet, “Thank you.”

She freezes, caught off guard. I turn my gaze to her and smile. “It’s always been a childhood dream of mine to fight a dragon.”

Then, as if we were just making small talk, I ask, “If you could pick a Conceptual Element to rule over, anything at all, what would you pick?”

Her eyes narrow, but after a beat, she answers. “Aseity.”

I nod, considering. “A good one. One of the best probably. The absolute self-sufficiency, independence, and autonomy of God.” I tilt my head. “But… it’s not fun. Oh no. It’s not fun at all.”

I chuckle, repeating the word fun a few times, letting it settle in my mind.

And then, I make my choice.

I purchase the Dragon Scale Perk, slotting Fun in as my replacement for the Metal Element.

My body shifts. Grows. Transforms. My bones stretch and reform, my flesh twisting and realigning as the change takes hold. Scales shimmer in impossible colors, shifting in hues that defy logic. My wings unfurl, larger than life, every fiber of my being pulsing with untamed energy. My grin widens—no, expands—until it feels as though it could stretch across the heavens themselves.

Laughter bubbles up inside me, pure, unrestrained joy, louder and more powerful than ever before. I stretch my massive limbs, feeling the raw energy coursing through my body. Then, with a single beat of my wings, I launch myself toward the Grimm Dragon, the wind howling behind me.

This is going to be so much Fun.

The black Dragon lets out a piercing screech, its obsidian scales shifting as it rears back, mouth glowing with the telltale crimson of an incoming blast. I don’t hesitate—I twist midair, my wings beating with such force that the sand below whips into a frenzied storm. Then, with a roar of my own, I dive straight into the oncoming inferno.

Flames wash over me, searing but fleeting. My scales shimmer and shift, absorbing the heat before I burst through the blaze, claws first. The other dragon barely has time to react before I rake a set of razor-sharp talons across its face, carving deep trenches into its black flesh. It reels, screeching in pain, but I don’t stop. I coil midair, twisting like a serpent, and slam my tail into its ribs with bone-crushing force. The beast hurtles sideways, crashing through a ruined building in a cloud of debris and dust.

I land heavily, grinning wide, but before I can press the attack, something shifts in the air. Instinct screams at me, and without thinking, I shed my full-dragon form, collapsing into my semi-draconic shape just in time to avoid a massive tail whipping toward me. The Grimm Dragon had recovered faster than expected, its crimson eyes gleaming with fury. Its tail slams into the ground where I stood just moments ago, shattering the earth in a violent tremor.

I don’t have time to gloat. Instead, I use the momentum of my transformation to launch myself skyward, wings snapping open as I weave through the air. The Grimm Dragon follows, its massive wings flapping with raw power as it pursues me into the sky. It slashes, and I twist just in time to avoid a claw meant to tear me apart—but not fast enough to evade the second strike. Pain blossoms across my side as jagged talons rake through my scales, tearing through my defense. The Metal Element would likely have withstood that attack, but alas, it had gone away to make space for the better one.

I hiss, flipping backward to regain distance. Blood drips from the wound, but it only fuels the fire burning inside me. I wipe my mouth with the back of my clawed hand and grin.

The mindless dragon roars and surges forward, jaws snapping. This time, I’m ready. I throw myself downward, shifting back into my full dragon form, my wings folding in as I plummet. The Grimm chases me, descending with deadly speed, but I twist at the last second, breaking into a spiraling ascent. The beast isn’t so lucky.

It slams into the ruins below, sending a shockwave through the battlefield. The moment it tries to rise, I strike. My claws clamp around its throat, my wings snapping open as I drag it up, up, up into the sky. It thrashes, shrieking, but I tighten my grip, muscles coiling with raw power.

Then, with one mighty beat of my wings, I hurl it back down.

The impact is catastrophic. The Grimm Dragon crashes into the ground with an earth-shaking force, a geyser of dust and debris erupting into the air. For a moment, everything is still. Then, black cracks spiderweb across its form. Its body trembles, then dissolves into swirling tendrils of ash, carried away by the wind.

I exhale, letting the adrenaline settle, and shift back into my human form, dropping lightly onto the ground. My feet barely touch the dirt before my stomach lets out an absurdly loud growl, the kind that only happens in slapstick cartoons. The sound echoes, almost comically out of place after such a battle.

I blink, then look at Salem. "Hey, wanna grab a bite before we get back to beating the shit out of each other?"

She stares at me. Her expression is unreadable.

"...Huh?"

I glance down at myself—what little remains of my clothes barely hanging on—and then let my eyes flicker back up to Salem, who is still just standing there, her mind clearly buffering. My gaze, of course, briefly locks onto her tits (larger than the ones the three dimensional model displayed for sure) before I snap back to reality.

"You're right," I say, nodding solemnly. "We probably should get some clothes first."

A shame. Against all expectations, the veins actually looked pretty hot in her body.