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December Update: Winding Things Down

Hey team! Let's put this year to bed, yeah?

Protagony Update

You've probably noticed that there haven't been any videos this month. Sorry about that. A mixture of the usual holiday whirlwind, getting my winter cold, and some Normal Life Shit got in the way, and December has been a wash, as seems to be the custom. Missing December's video is never great, but not the end of the world. But in a year where I've missed so many months already, and have such a video debt built up, it's frustrating. I'd understand if you're feeling frustrated as well!

I'm not terribly worried about playing catch-up in the new year. I'm getting happier and happier with the Protagony scripts, and can either release a bunch in a row to catch up, release one a month alongside a more traditional video, or go back and forth on different months. The bit of extra time will be put towards polishing each script til I'm as happy as I can be with it, and, hopefully, that will make the wait worth it.

But, still: apologies, and thank you for your patience. It's been a tumultuous year, but I'm feeling some optimism about 2020.

Winding Down The Alt-Right Playbook

I'm not sure if this is doable, but I've crunched the numbers and I think - I think - 2020 might be the year we finish The Alt-Right Playbook.

I've gone through my list of topics with a critical eye and determined that there are six proper videos left to release. That doesn't include any Endnotes I come up with along the way, a proper conclusion, or any "here's what we can do about the Alt-Right" videos (of which I have a few planned). So it may be 2021 before we can call it truly complete. But I think we could be in the denouement by this time next year.

In my dream scenario we'd get it done before the 2020 election in November, but the odds of that are pretty dang slim.

Wrapping TARP is, frankly, a little nerve-wracking. I owe my career to this series. It's the reason most of y'all are here. I can't help but wonder how many of y'all will check out once it's done. I mean, this used to be primarily a video game channel! And, while it still is sometimes, the difference in popularity between my videos about games and my videos about politics is an order of magnitude.

I also feel really weird about wrapping it up because it's been such a big part of my life. Beyond financials and viewership, ARP has been my whole universe for over two years now. Most of my work hours have been spent on it. Most of my reading has been research for it. A lot of my professional connections exist because of it. If I give a talk or go to a conference, it's what people know me for. It's pretty much always on my mind, what I'm thinking about, what my gears are grinding on. The idea of not knowing what 8 of my next 10 videos are going to be is alien. I'm gonna feel some kind of way about letting it go.

To be clear, I'm not going back to only talking about adventure games. I'm probably never going to stop making political videos and have a number of topics in mind for after ARPB is done. But it's gonna be weird for all of us. I hope you'll stick around.

Next Year's Projects

2019 was going to be a year of tackling a bunch of projects, and, for various personal and logistical reasons, that's not what happened. Some of it was my own life throwing me for a loop. But a big part of it is that The Alt-Right Playbook keeps getting bigger and more complicated with each video. These are the most labor-intensive videos I make - I actually forget how much work it is until I do something about a movie or a game and am amazed at how fast the edit goes when I don't do 300 drawings. There's a lot I enjoy about it (and, I admit, it could be less laborious if I were less anal), but it leaves so little room for other things.

Some of these are channel- and Patreon-related: I still owe you a podcast (that I genuinely want to make!), and I want to do the book club and possible Discord server, and I have some original research I want to do to help the videos. There really hasn't been time for any of that this year. But I'm also itching for time to work on projects not even related to the channel.

I've hinted at a work of fiction that I was hiring artists for, and I haven't touched the script for it in months. I recently got really excited about a screenplay idea I had, and have been sneaking time to plan it wherever I can, but actually writing it would take a lot of time I don't have, much less ever actually directing it. And I have ideas that have been kicking around for years for games and webseries and fun little animated goofs, and passion projects are just not feasible as long as I'm doing hundreds of slides for every video. Some of these are things I couldn't do without putting the channel completely on pause - like, obviously I couldn't do videos essays while directing a feature film - but I want to make room for some of it.

I love making video essays, but it has overtaken my entire artistic practice. And this is a year where I could have really used some less analytical creative outlets, stuff I could put more of myself into. I went to art school, and a lot of major life events got processed by making art out of them, from new relationships to breakups to family drama. And that's not what Innuendo Studios is for, and I wouldn't want it to be. (Like, smack me if I ever become a vlogger.) But I'm left without an outlet for that type of creativity. And it's something I need to make a little room for.

I don't know what that would look like yet, if it's stuff I would share with patrons or stuff I'd keep to myself until it gets released. Probably it would vary project to project. But, much as I love making the videos, they can't be my whole life.

So, it may take a while, but we're gonna bring The Alt-Right Playbook to a close. And then we'll just see what comes next.

Reflection

For all the ups and downs and inconsistencies of 2019, I will say that How to Radicalize a Normie is probably the most important video I've made so far, and the third Who Shot Guybrush Threepwood was one of the most fun.

In spite of everything, I'm proud of the work I made this year.

See you in 2020,

-I

Comments

I'm all in wherever you go and whatever you do. I appreciate the time it takes to create anything, and the itch of being a polymath and loving different mediums for different reasons. My in with your work was 'Why Are You So Angry', but I quickly came to appreciate every video you've put out, particularly as someone new to gaming in the last few years. I appreciate that you are anal! It's what makes your videos so sharp, and why I use them as a go-to resource in classes I teach and conversations I have. <3

Kait Hatch

How to Radicalize a Normie was terrific. So was Genre and the Adventure Game. ...it's kind of funny to me that you talk about The Alt-Right Playbook as the thing that got so many people onto your channel - I backed your Patreon ten days before the new rough cut of "Introduction". I had no idea this was coming. ...but I was also not surprised when it came, because it's the kind of thoughtful take on complex issues that I signed up for. I'm glad it's become prominent and I'm glad its brought attention to your channel.

The Packbats

Don't beat yourself up, you're doing the best you can and damn well for a one man outfit. I'm glad to give you my $5 per month.

AaronRobertoMusic

I don't know if it was this discussion or end of year nostalgia, but I went back through the channel to see where my entry point was. I think it was Part 1 of "Why Are You So Angry?" Which explains why TARP didn't seem like such a big topical departure for the channel to me. I think TARP is on the same spectrum as "Why Are You So Angry?", so as far as I'm concerned, the channel is doing the same thing I originally subscribed for.

PC Escobar

I found the channel through TARP but have thoroughly enjoyed all of your videos. Even on subjects for which I'm not personally a fan such as adventure games I find your analysis to be fun and enlightening. You can be certain that I'll still be around after TARP wraps up. As for the future I hope you will do more story beats and more essays in the line of Bringing back what's stolen. Bringing back what's stolen changed my mind on fury road (I hated it when I first saw it) and exposed my own sexist embedded views on what an action movie should be for which I am grateful. Keep up the amazing work, I look forward to what ever you have coming out.

Bobby Castleberry

Worrying about where folks go when TARP ends rings familiar. I don't doubt you were a tight ball of anxiety on releasing your first political video, even though your channel was all about games back then. And that decision couldn't have been more successful. I can't wait for what comes next. I like that you choose quality over a tight schedule. Your research has stayed remarkably consistent over a wide swath of topics, and I'm excited for what that will bring in the next year, and the next decade.

Sabiryth

I'm really looking forward to Protagony!

PC Escobar

I will confess my interest in the channel is overwhelmingly TARP (though the Bringing Back What's Stolen gets a lot of love, too). For what to do After TARP, if you want to continue in that vein, do remember that, once we get our democracy back, we're going to have to figure out how to *keep* it, so that'll be a fertile ground. *If* you want to keep on in that vein....

Jacque Marshall

I came to your yt for the alt-right playbook, but I came here because I'm interested in what you want to create. I'm glad your 2020 seems like its gonna be great creatively, but I hope it'll be a lovely year for you too!

I concur with Kaylee. Your political videos brought me to your channel, but after a good dig around, I've found that everything you touch turns to gold, which is why I wanted to become a patron and why I certainly will stay to watch you evolve. Totally understand and agree with your conclusions about, er, concluding the ARP series, and I hope you can bring it to a close within a timescale that allows you to organically move onto your next creative projects. Thank you and happy new year.

Sarah Hall

I'm here for the book of alt Right! Please make loads and loads more of them, to 2021 and beyond 😁

Gingerpuffs

Totally valid feelings! But speaking for myself at least, I'm not bothered about release schedules and not going anywhere with my pledge--just happy to see you doing work you care about and find meaningful. I enjoy all of your videos, including ones about topics I'm unfamiliar with, because of the insights and humor and passion you put into them. Take care of yourself first and follow where your interests lead and we'll look forward to the journey! 💗

Kaylee Christine

I think TARP is the best acronym out of the three (TARP, ARP, ARPB) I'd love to see this approach taken with another subject, whether that's more politics, more videogames, cinema, or whatever! You're doing good work, and I wanna see what you do next! Keep it up!

matt

We all have to make time for the creative stuff to keep us sane. Hope you find a good outlet for it. Looking forward to upcoming stuff, but hope you have a great holiday in the mean time!


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