April Update: Seventy-Five Percent
Added 2021-05-03 15:52:11 +0000 UTCHey team! Not a lot to discuss, but here's the skinny:
75%
When I started physical therapy this month, their preliminary assessment told me my leg was at 31% functionality. (This was after a chiropractor visit that had already improved things significantly.) I had my reevaluation this past week and I am up to 75%. That's more than double in under a month! It is very nice being, in many ways, a proper human being again.
What this means for work is: I am able to sit at my desk again, provided I keep it to half-hour bursts and do a bunch of stretches right after. I haven't attempted more than one burst in a day yet, though that may be a goal for this week. In the time I've been recuperating, I've managed a complete draft of the next Alt-Right Playbook, in addition to the final CO-VID and audio from my UC Merced lecture that were already in the can. I've captured as much footage as I can for the CO-VID, though I still need to grab some first-person games that are hard to play from a reclining position. I've recorded and edited the audio for the CO-VID as well, barring a few lines that need re-recording. And I've made headway on structuring a few other videos for down the line.
So things have resumed, at a slackened pace. It's a bit frustrating sitting on three completed scripts and only being able to edit them in tiny increments, but I'm just not going to risk pushing myself any faster. Not sure which was worse, the pain or the inability to do things, but I'm not chancing either of them coming back because I sat at a desk too much too soon.
So that's where we are right now! Work is happening to the best of my limited abilities. I like where things are headed, and I appreciate your patience.
Now, whenever I post about stuff like this, a bunch of you incredibly sweet people fill my comments with kind words about taking as long as I need and not feeling pressured to put stuff online. And that always feels really good to hear! But, for those of you gearing up to say exactly that, know this: I have somehow finagled my life such that I'm getting paid to do my own thing, in my own chosen medium, and there are even people who care about it! And I like my job. My feelings about work are as complicated as anyone's, but I find genuine fulfillment in my work. The capitalist pressure to define one's worth by their productivity is very real, but it sits alongside the very human drive to make and do and share things. Yes, I worry that not putting things out on a faster timeline is going to cost me money and patrons (and, honestly, it has, though probably not so much that I should worry as much as I do; I'm doing fine); but I also just, in and of myself, hate not being able to make things. To have my brain full of all these things to put in videos and be stymied from throwing them online and moving on to the next thing. COVID had already disrupted my productivity, only irregularly giving me that satisfied feeling of finishing something, and sciatica has only made it worse.
So! In short: don't worry about me, I'm getting back to it, for your sake and for mine. But, also, this sucks, and I wish it were going faster.
And, hot tip: do some planks once in a while. Sciatica is the pits.
Comments
Thx for the warning about doing planks. The older I get, the more muscles and nerves I discover when they start turning against me.
2021-06-03 22:40:15 +0000 UTCAnyhow take your time - two months, two years, whatever. We came for you, not for your schedule.
George Toner
2021-05-22 21:21:02 +0000 UTCWhat? My physical therapist and my chiropractor are two different people. Most of my work is with the PT.
Ian Danskin
2021-05-12 03:19:07 +0000 UTCNo pressure (ha) but maybe you should try to see a Physiotherapist instead of a priest? Chiropractic is a religion, not a science. Its founder D.D. Palmer claimed that during a seance the ghost of a doctor taught him how manipulation of the spine could restore the proper flow of spiritual energies and produce good health. At best you're getting the relief of a massage treatment. At worst they're increasing your risk of stroke by messing around with your spine, like all those kids who got strokes afterward. If nothing else you'd save money just going to a regular massage parlor. Please don't rush yourself. We signed up because of the spirit of your work, not the letter of your promises. We probably don't even remember your patreon pledges but we will feel very guilty if it's obvious you've sacrificed your health to push something out too soon. And don't think that's an excuse for overextending yourself subtly. We're on to you, mister. And you better be taking care of yourself, y'hear?
George Toner
2021-05-11 12:18:35 +0000 UTCI applaud both your perseverance and restraint; especially in light of how difficult it has seemed for you to show yourself compassion for delays or taking time for yourself in the past and how evidently you've worked on negotiating that better over time. Keep up the great progress and I'll be eager to see the projects you're chomping at the bit to finish... not because I'm impatiently awaiting them, but rather because you seem eager to work on them. ;-)
JinxedJoker
2021-05-04 22:42:37 +0000 UTCGlad to hear that you're managing! Wanting to do stuff and not being able to is definitely the pits, but injuring yourself wouldn't make anything happen faster - keep going along as best as you can and may recovery continue well!
The Packbats
2021-05-03 21:42:14 +0000 UTCI genuinely feel like the wanting to do something and not being able to is as hard if not harder than the pain itself, for real. Glad to hear you are taking care of yourself and listening to what your body needs.
Kait Hatch
2021-05-03 20:00:30 +0000 UTCI'm disabled and I completely get that drive to just do *something*. Hell, I ended up starting a business after I was told I couldn't work because anything was better than ruminating in bed while in pain. I'm so glad to hear that you're seeing improvement. Slow and steady will get you there, even if the pace is frustrating. We'll be here cheering you on ☺️
2021-05-03 17:00:20 +0000 UTCHope you feel better soon! I pinched a nerve last week and thankfully they're expecting it should just be two weeks of rest to recover, but it's definitely an unfun experience to have new and unexpected pain/sensations that are inhibiting your normal movement. Finding a new way to sleep through the night has taken me days!
Jamin Shih
2021-05-03 16:56:28 +0000 UTCThanks!
Ian Danskin
2021-05-03 16:52:55 +0000 UTCThe primary issue is that I have a very weak core due to inactivity. Sitting is less of a concern if I stretch and strengthen those muscles more. Not that a standing desk wouldn't help, and I was using my kitchen counter as a makeshift standing desk before I could write in bed!
Ian Danskin
2021-05-03 16:48:42 +0000 UTCReminds me a lot of my horrible "that's a pretty big one" hernia I got last fall (thanks doc 😂) . That "feel like a human" phrase is exactly right, along with not being sure if the pain or the restraint was worse. Glad to hear you're pulling through! It's pretty grand on the other side.
Samuel Anderson
2021-05-03 16:06:26 +0000 UTCGlad to hear the extremely positive progress! I know very little about sciatica. But if sitting at a desk is an issue -- is standing better? Could an investment in a sit-stand desk help you out a bit, for your comfort, health, *and* enjoyment? I don't have any significant back issues, but the ability to change up my positions back when I had a sit-stand desk really improved my comfort and ergonomics; maybe it can help you, too!
h2g2guy
2021-05-03 16:01:30 +0000 UTCI'm just going to say, keep it up, both your recovery and making cool things. I'll be eager to see it when you're done. I was re-watching some of your old stuff this week just out of nostalgia. I miss the live-tweeting research too. :)
Colin Ferguson
2021-05-03 15:59:13 +0000 UTC
