The Fall - Chapter 25
Added 2018-06-05 18:12:21 +0000 UTCSo, here it is, shorter than I would have liked but adding words for the sake of words count doesn't really help anything.
A warning: you might find that things are going too fast, that Saber sudden willingness is odd. Don't worry, this is just the start. Saber will be more or less back to her normal self afterwards, having to deal with the consequences and her conscience.
We will also be seeing the scene from a different POV in the next chapter, so don't worry your pretty little heads.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think of it in the comments.
Comments
But of course solid plot enhances anything
jmspikey
2018-06-08 04:40:23 +0000 UTCYes, yes it is, but the plot does make it more enjoyable, we just need longer more fleshed out smut-scenarios.
Shadowsprinkles
2018-06-08 04:14:15 +0000 UTCExcellent build up to three scene, excellent justification in her mind, excellent job alluding to the mind altering magic that was placed on her but it felt like having the librarian tease you for months just to show you a sex tape of her getting railed then sending you home. A bit more of a look into her mind or even a brief break of the scene in the car to elaborate how her body was reacting to the situation could have gone a long way her. But I still enjoyed it immensely
Jack Uldron
2018-06-07 15:16:44 +0000 UTCLets be honest a story that's main draw is the corruption and degradation of its two female leads is going to have certain expectations mostly the smut the fact that it also has solid writing and an interesting plot is a very much appreciated bonus but again main draw is probably the smut.
jmspikey
2018-06-07 05:33:01 +0000 UTCI’m guessing the POV for the next chapter will be from one of the Maids or from Gerard’s agent spiking Saber’s drinks. Saber’s already under mind control, but the focus on all the drinks she had and her loss of control just screams “Ruffies” to me. This chapter could have been twice as long and still felt short to me, since we’re building to Saber’s big climax. This chapter is probably going to be the next step in corrupting Saber to the LEWD side with the other cheating maids.
Slingtap
2018-06-06 07:35:23 +0000 UTCShould probably add a bit to my citric. personally with all the build up of the previous chapter the pay off ( Saber getting railed) should have been the main focus of the chapter the club scene could have been part of the build up in the previous chapter with it ending with Saber getting in the car. A chapter of nothing but smut is probably too much but a majority of it could have been dedicated to the sex scene sometimes a break from the plot is nice once in a while.
jmspikey
2018-06-06 02:51:35 +0000 UTCThat was quick. I was expecting more resistance from Saber being slowly coerced into it.
Eternity Smut
2018-06-06 01:18:44 +0000 UTCIm going to throw my 2 cents in here, first of all the quality of your writing is amazing, for the lengths that you give us they really are substantial and really do move the plot along. And while I feel you want your build ups to pay off, I fear you might be missing the mark here. I come here for The Fall because its a really good smut story with plot that matters, but I feel that this chapter could have gone from good to GREAT with a better payoff. Words for the sake of words is bad writing, but smut for the sake of smut, especially in a story like this where that build up and situations make sense is fine in my opinion. So what am I saying exactly? You are a amazing writer and I am fine with how the story is, but in my opinion, to make this a great story, flesh-out and add more content to the smut sceans your building up too because its these moments that I and others look foward too the most becuase more smut wont deture from the story you are trying to tell. Basically an example would be to make sabers 2 minute orgey in the car feel longer to the readers and to her. Keep up the good work regardless!
Shadowsprinkles
2018-06-06 00:37:23 +0000 UTCI'm guessing the other POV will be someone shocked at how quickly saber became so slutty
TheSinful
2018-06-05 20:11:30 +0000 UTCMy opinion is pretty much the same it was a good chapter but the content was to short. I know you said adding words for the sake of words doesn't help anything but I really think the chapter would have went from good to GREAT if the whole bit with Saber having sex was longer. You can really feel the difference in length here and those extra 2-3 pages I felt would have made a world of difference. So it was a good chapter but it could have been great granted I know your busy and rushed lately but personally speaking I wouldn't have minded waiting even more days if it would have allowed you to flush things out more. Still all in all good job though.
LordMarksman
2018-06-05 19:39:08 +0000 UTCHoping for more content to sex scene seems kinda short good but short I'm banking on Rin being one of the POV in the next chapter since she seems to really want to Saber in that situation.
jmspikey
2018-06-05 18:52:48 +0000 UTCI won't lie I was hoping for a longer chapter with a little more content to it, but overall it was still a good chapter. I am wondering whose pov we'll wee next chapter though. Anyway good work can't wait for more.
IgnisHeart
2018-06-05 18:45:28 +0000 UTC
