Scarlet: Chapter 2

Scarlet 2

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Commissioned by Citino

Word Count: 2589

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That rock did nothing to you.

Wiping the sweat from my brow, I allowed myself to fall flat on my back. Yesterday’s meeting with Sona of the Sitri Pillar House of Hell’s Nobility, still ran through my mind. Though I lay upon stone shards, my current, physical state was more appreciable than my current, mental state. Why? Because, while the rocks were uncomfortable, they weren’t a metaphorical axe readied to lop my head off.

A guillotine would be a better example, Ddraig provided his grand insight to me with complete manumit and grace. Axes are messy, but they’re slow and you might dodge them. Guillotines make more sense, because you’re strapped in and have no say about getting fucked. 

…Okay, I’ll admit, guillotines did make more sense than an axe, after that explanation. However, in the end, my circumstances were the same. Either way, I was now on a knife’s edge. No longer do I enjoy anonymity, since I now had interested parties knowledgeable of my existence. My current course of action is no longer viable, because keeping on and disregarding Sitri’s threats would mean death by Demon Lord.

It’s also all your fault, Ddraig sagely and wisely reminded me. No. My one-and-only true ally, the partner I had bound to my soul, was not smug in the least. He was an ancient, venerable being who never said—I told you so, Taylor.

Goddammit, I heard that enough times last night! Fuck off already, Ddraig! 

I TOLD YOU I’LL MAKE YOU SUFFER FOR SPOILING MY MANGA! SO SUFFER, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE!

Shounen manga isn’t culture! Anime isn’t a culture! It’s just a way for otaku to live out their shitty, masturbatory fantasies!

No! Fuck you! That’s what’s you keep beneath your bed, gutter guzzler!

Hentai is porn! It’s supposed to be a shitty, masturbatory fantasy! Your shit just blue-balls everyone at every turn! There’s no payoff! Not until Comiket! 

It’s called romance! You’d know about it if you thought with your heart instead of you dick! And, for the last time, don’t you dare mention that doujinshi trash to me ever again!

I’M GOING TO LITERALLY READ ALL THE NTR I CAN GET MY HANDS ON NEXT COMIKET!

Y-you wouldn’t dare!

I killed an alien god! I’ve ruled over a whole city! I beat the Nine! You don’t know what lengths I’m willing to go to… especially when I can properly appreciate NTR! It’s not even a challenge, you lizard! I ENJOY NTR! 

You monster! Only monsters can be the one who inflicts NTRs!

I AM THE ONE WHO NTRS—

“Ummm… ah… Mister… are you okay?”

Still on my back, I looked up at the cute, female voice which graced my ears with their presence. 

Oh, huh.

So, blonde, cute nuns apparently wear pink. 

Good to know.

You took less than a second to become a pervert, Taylor.

Fuck off. Real life ecchi is occurring. Begone. My reality has no time for you at the moment.

You used to be a girl, Taylor.

Quiet. 

Ecchi.

Must.

Appreciate.

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Why isn’t my face being imprinted into the ground, yet?

That’s what should be happening at this moment, yes.

After my previous lifetime, paranoia was the only answer to anything vaguely reasonable happening to me. Long ago, I came to the simple conclusion that nothing good happens without a catch. Every victory just beggars another opponent. Every inch gained meant the road got harsher. Every foe-turned-ally means losing all my current companions. Therefore, without a doubt, I could not appreciate a panty shot without any repercussions. 

“Ummm, uh, ma’am… your underwear is showing.”

“Oh, you can speak English! I’m so glad! Truly, God has blessed me today!”

Yes, I can, but that doesn’t solve the current issue, Miss Pretty Blond Nun squatting over me. In fact, your refusal to properly stomp on my face for being a hormonal, teenage pervert is making another issue arise. 

It’s a miracle your “Issue” isn’t a problem already.

One cannot be aroused when one is waiting for the shoe to drop, Ddraig.

Anyway, since turning my gaze away was obviously not within my body’s physical abilities, I could only trust in my cognitive and linguistic abilities. Marshalling all my willpower, I focused beyond the fact the girl’s sudden bout of prayer gave me the view of a lifetime, and did my utmost best to have her stop trying to destroy any sanity I had. 

The words I planned were: how about you let go of your skirt. The nun, indeed, had quite a lengthy skirt. However, presumably due to the fact she was traversing the wild, forested outskirts of Kuoh, where I trained, she had the skirt bundled up. My statement would, hopefully, remind her of my presence, my clear line of sight, and result in my face being imprinted upon the ground.

Again, the words I intended to say were: let go of your skirt.

Instead, my body chose to sabotage my cognitive functions with a rusty crowbar, assassinated the leadership of my brain cells, and assumed control of my speech functions. As a result of my hormonal, stupid body’s coup, my exact words heinously altered.

“Panties, let them go.”

Nice.

Naturally, of course, the phrase elicited the reaction I’d wished. There was a cute ‘KYAAAA’ of realization, the subsequent vanishing of paradise, and a sudden rush of movement that promised pain, retribution, and righteous indignation—

“I-I’m s-so sorry, Mister! I-I’ve sullied your g-gaze!” What. Huh? Excuse me? What were those words that have just reached my ears? Lady, I was a lady. Those words aren’t the words you’re supposed to be saying. Neither should you be frantically bowing to me. The correct course of action, in this scenario, is to—kick your face into the ground, yeah, I heard the joke the first time, partner—yeah, that. “Please, forgive me! I a-apologize for my sinful ways!”

I got up.

The words were grating to my ears. The simpering attitude rankled my bones. The girl before me was apologizing for something that wasn’t her fault. She was meek, fretful, and afraid of how I would react. Some may have laughed at her words, perhaps some people would’ve considered them an elaborate joke, but that wasn’t the case. I can tell when people lied. Plenty have lied to me before. This girl before wasn’t attempting to fool me. No, she truly believed that she was in the wrong, that she’d erred, and had done something that could warrant punishment.

Even if I didn’t know what I could do to… correct whatever happened to her right now, I couldn’t stand idly by.

Pervert one second, the height of chivalry the next. Ddraig grumbled and snarked, but I could tell he was interested by the situation as well. She smells of Holy Magic, Taylor. Undoubtedly, the Church has claim over her.

Well, then, I hoped that the Church could explain themselves, if this is the result of being one of their own. 

But, first, I had to tend to the girl who’d found me by happenstance. 

Publicly, with plenty of witnesses and cameras, of course.

Just in case.

…

Time and space held no power over the might of McDonalds. Whether the world be filled with deities, dragons, and demons, or under assault by alien parasites, the golden arches still claim jurisdiction over the world. Ronald McDonald’s tyrannical fist continues to hold the whole of Earth in his squeaky, white gloves. Endbringers couldn’t bring the massive food chain down in Bet, so it was only natural Heaven’s legions wouldn’t come forth to rid the scourge of man from the world. 

They’d lose.

One day, I’ll get to enjoy the taste of a hamburger without listening to your stupid speeches. That day shall be a glorious one, indeed.

Anyway, while Fugly Bob’s was better, Mcdonald’s in Japan was clean, affordable, and reasonably chic. The food was generic at best, and sugar and salt at worst, but that’s what makes chains affordable. I could, of course, go to any number of far more superior, family-owned Japanese restaurants, but those weren’t nearly as well-monitored or traversed. I would’ve totally taken Argento-san to a better place, a small, family-owned place with good food, instead of a sloppy, fast food chain.

This is an investigation, Taylor. Not a date.

I’m not an idiot who takes a cute girl out to McDonald’s on a first date!

Stop panicking and actually listen to the girl in front of you, idiot!

Right, that was a thing I had to do. 

“Uwaa… there’s so much food! And, they’re all so different! This is amazing, Hyoudou-san!” Not a date. Argento is not adorable and must be protected. She exudes Holy magic. She somehow stumbled upon me in the middle of nowhere. There was no problem with other guys ogling her—Oi! You! Yeah! YOU! Put that phone away, before I shove it down your throat—“Thank you very much for your hospitality!”

“Eh-heh, no problem, Argento-san. Think of it as a welcoming gift from Japan.”

We also have a small, lead hammer in our jacket pocket that can turn your upper body to paste after just two Boosts. Enjoy your stay.

Quiet, Ddraig.

Am I interrupting your date?

I ignored him in favor of giving Argento the most neutral, non-creepy smile I was capable of making. 

“T-then, I’ll be sure to repay your hospitality when I’m able, Hyoudou-san!” Ah! What is this brilliant light!? Is this Holy Magic!? Ddraig!? No, you’re just being stupid. Again. That can’t be! That smile must be some sort of supernatural weapon. It’s called you’re male, and a girl not your mother is being nice to you. My heart is aching from some unknown strain due to her assault! I’m not playing along with this idiocy. “Or, at least, I-I swear I won’t forget your kindness! Thank you very much for these gifts!”

When Argento began to eat, I let my measures to remain calm fall away. 

She was a beautiful young woman. Flawless skin, golden, long hair, and with eyes that shone like emeralds. Her figure was not noteworthy because I went to Kuoh Academy, where The Two Ojou-samas attended, but she was certainly healthy. All these facts didn’t correlate with how she ate so ravenously, was left unattended, and had worn shoes and clothing. Before me was a pampered princess, isolated and alone, incapable of speaking Japanese., despite obviously being cared for her entire life.

So, this is the power of a pevert put to work. How terrible. 

Ddraig.

She reminds me of the Church. Not an Exorcist, but she definitely has power. But, she’s not warrior. She might be a threat, but only if you don’t take her down quickly. 

Allies?

She’s a “princess” like you said, partner. She should have some about. But, if she did, she wouldn’t be starved and wondering the forest alone.

There were three distinct possibilities.

The first was that Argento was some sort of trap. Maybe a lure for the Church to get ahold of me. Given how Raynare died by my hand two days ago and Sitri was unlikely to share information with the Church, that was unlikely. 

The second possibility was that she was running away from something or someone. However, if that was the case, why didn’t she head to Tokyo? The Church kept a presence in capital cities, so she could find help easier there. Kuoh’s a large city, but it’s isolated and unimportant. She didn’t strike me as an idiot, so that was unlikely. 

The third, and last, possibility was that she wasn’t running, but looking for someone, and that someone hadn’t shown up. But, that left the question of who that someone would be, since it couldn’t be the Church. Sitri was present in Kuoh. Could it be a defection? A nun of holy power going to a Devil? If so, why? What did she have to bargain with—

DOWN!

Without hesitation, I launched myself at Argento and pulled us both over the low-backed booth. An explosion took place, heat skimming the soles of my shoes, sending us flying father and faster than in anticipated. Twisting about, I managed to cradle Argento against my chest, while my back made contact with the floor. Opening my eyes, I found her to be untouched, despite the fact I certainly had more than a few bits of shrapnel lodged in inconvenient places.

Less self-gratification, more looking! It came from your right! Skyward! Three sources!

Though I had a firm guess as to who was attacking me, I still took a look.

Three figures hung in the sky. Each one had their gazes upon me and spears of light in their hands. They were a motley bunch, each presumably with a different disguise. However, they were undoubtedly Fallen Angels. Only Fallen Angels, to my knowledge, dressed like escorts, lolis, and flashers. Well, and the black wings were dead giveaways too, I guess.

I met one of their gazes defiantly, filled with spirit, and anger.

Miss Escort opened her mouth to speak.

The other two paused.

Bait: Taken.

Ddraig?

We only have one, Taylor.

But, two’s better than three.

Well put.

Miss Escort had a sentence of worthless drivel out before I threw my ten-pound, lead hammer at her with my body Boosted threefold. My practice without the Boosts confirmed to me that I was capable of propelling my little, concealed weapon to twenty-give miles per hour. Some would reason that with Boost, that ten-pound hammer would be going over 200 Mph. However, that wasn’t the case, because the human body happened to be quite good at throwing without any magic involved, and with all its physical abilities magically enhanced threefold, the results were more than merely linear. Combined with the years of physical training needed to “harness the energy properly” and my practice with throwing the familiar weapon, I can safely attest that even with just three Boosts, that hammer’s speed was far, far greater than that of Japan’s bullet train. 

The hammer shattered glass in its passing, and sent a shockwave that blew up dust around us,  just before it turned Ms. Escort’s head into a fine, red mist. The Fallen’s body hovered in the air for a second, finger still held upright in a patronizing manner, while her wings flapped. It took a few heart beasts, literally given the spurts of blood from the stump I’d created, before the body began to grow slack in the air.

Needless to say, her companions were more than a little surprised with her speech being cut short, so I picked up Argento and bolted before they could gather their wits. 

See? This is why you need training weights. You get to work out the whole day and have more wonderful things to throw!

Humans need days to rest, Ddraig! Our bodies need time to heal! Breaking through the kitchen after hopping over the counter, I made my way through the store to its service entrance. Cramped alleyways were generally suicide when fighting Movers with Blaster ratings, but this particular alley, behind my chosen McDonalds, had a perfect escape route.

I hate the sewers.

Not only did it provide cover, but it would limit their movement, and force my opponents to close quarters. All in all, whether it was a Devil, Angel, or Fallen chasing after me, the sewer was my best bet, because in the depths I could punch them in the face.

They’re still literally shitty levels.

Quiet, Ddraig. 

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