Rias 5

Rias 5

…

Commissioned by cjdavis103

Word Count: 2055

…

Mahou Shoujo had spectacular ends to all their battles. They went BOOM! Wham! And, then they’d finish off all the mooks with a huge attack, before attacking the final boss! Then, when they’re on the ropes… the  turnaround! Then, they power up! Or, combine! Finally, they beat the final boss and save the day until the next episode!

Real life is terrible in comparison.

The writing is lazy. Attacks come from nowhere. All the villains are either generic monsters or have their faces covered. The civilians don’t run from fights, but instead leap at the next monster, and they have to be pulled away so everyone can fight properly. And, of course, my Power of Destruction didn’t look all the nice.

Instead of the Heart Shot Max Beam, I had a western, ebony doom laser that gets shot out of a starship.

And, of course, my sister didn’t let me dress the way I wanted to.

Pearl Shooter was already a thing. She was great. There’s also rumors of another magical girl out there. She was either Murder Mist or Diamond Demise. I mean, the names weren’t kid-friendly, but the costumes were fantastic! They were magical girls fighting for truth and justice in a world that was falling towards chaos and discord! Sure, body-destroying gas and sniper rifles weren’t that classic for magical girls, but in times like these, a girl needs more than a magic wand or her fists!

Their models also looked way cooler.

Heheeheh.

I could’ve made my debut in the fight, as… ummm… Cinnabar Canoneer? Ah, I need to work on a name, but I’ve got the outfit! Everyone knows the name’s not as important as the outfit. I had a short, sleeveless dress. The lacy ends. The calf-length boots! Elbow gloves, too!  All if it was tough, enchanted, and as strong as what I wore to train against my elder brother, too!

But, nooo.

I had to wear combat armor, so that I could look the part of a ruler.

Wouldn’t a ruler that looked really good, cute, and cool raise morale too!?

I looked at myself in the mirror!

I’d want to lick my own panties!

Ah.

Rein yourself in Rias.

You promised yourself never to traverse that road again. Down that road lies a life without pride, dignity, and loved ones. Being an enthusiast and having anime as a hobby is fine, but falling into the actual system of anime is not. Consumerism is okay. Producing and living and breathing anime is not acceptable! Forget your sordid past. All of it! Cosplay and figures and conventions and the things you already do are more than enough!

What was I thinking about again?

Ah, right.

The battle.

That could’ve been my debut as a magical girl, dammit!

…

I needed to get my mind off the fact that I missed out on the chance of a lifetime. However, Issei was sleeping, so I couldn’t call him, and I decided that I was mad at Aria for making me lose that chance. I was going to be angry at her for at least twenty-four hours, before I forgive her. No less than that! No matter how much ice cream she sends my way, or how many of my favorite meals she has delivered to my room, instead of having me eat at that stuffy dining room! I’m totally going to manage to be mad at her for eight hours!

Eh? Did that time go down for some reason?

I was sure that it’s always been four hours though.

Anyway, I needed something to do for two hours.

But, who shall I spend time with.

Kuroka-pfft.

Creighton. Ah. No. She’s scary.

Shizi? I don’t know how to find her.

Shirone.

…Why haven’t I spent any time with Shirone!?

According to Issei’s findings, she was a rare close-combat, Kuudere… in real life! Not only that, but she clad in a bodysuit, adorned with tribal armor and clothing, with a white ponytail, cat ears, and golden eyes! Top tier! She’s definitely a top tier girl! My goodness, how could I have not spent as much time possible with her!? She’s amazing.

Hmmm… using the information that Issei has provided me… I’m sure that I can deduce where Shirone is!

Let’s see. She’s blunt, but in the cute and charming way, because she’s cute and charming. So, she’ll definitely not have any problems with the staff. Ah, she’s also intimidating and scary, but in the cute and charming way, because she’s cute and charming. Finally, she likes fish and seafood, but in the cute and charming way, because she’s cute and charming.

After a few days of hectic battle, where shall such a person be within a palatial estate when told to rest and recuperate?

The kitchens!

The Gremory kitchens are amazingly well stocked, because there’s plenty of places to cultivate most animals and crops in Hell. The Gremory estate only claims a small tax from its citizens, but we have many happy and healthy citizens, so we can afford to purchase some of the very best. Mother and Father are at the capital too, so me and my sister need very little within our abode. Nonetheless, the staff that maintains and guards the palace needs plenty of food, and it’s a sing of a good ruler to keep their most loyal servants fed.

Undoubtedly, Shirone was bullying the staff into feeding her this instant, and I just had to see this scene!

But, first, I needed my camera!

…

Ah, the wild Shirone is a beautiful and magnificent beast. Partly composed of muscle, but mostly cuteness and charm, she sits at the staff table of the kitchen as the queen… no empress of the dominion. All around her are harried subjects, all tired and yearning for rest, yet they work tirelessly for her… as in all their hearts and minds all the chefs know that in their presence, requesting more and more food from them, is a connoisseur.

Shirone majestically awaits food to be delivered upon her. Any claim to the table she sits upon is gone. Not even I can sit there, let alone the treasured staff who normally sits around it. No, much like some sort of Demon Lord, she has laid claim to her spot and her claim is undisputed. There is nothing to be done besides serve her, to make her happy, or else there shall be punishment!

Is she an S?

Is Li Song an M?

Wait, even better, is she normally an S but flips to an M for Li Song who is a massive S behind closed doors!?

Gweheheehhe!

“Lady Shirone, please taste this!” Ah! I’ve erred! My thoughts took me by surprise. My valuable information gathering has been disrupted. Lucile has managed to muster up her courage and put a plate before Shirone. With a regal, dispassionate gaze, Shirone looks upon the plate. My goodness. If she isn’t an S, I will have words with reality. “T-this is my best dish! I’ve spent a hundred years p-perfecting it!”

“I understand.” Those words are perfect! I can see the scene in my mind now. Shirone is not sitting at a staff table within a kitchen. Instead, she sits at the head of a dining room, surrounded by her servants, with Li Song standing beside her ready to administer punishment to those who do not please her. Oooh, thank you older brother for being so protective of us that we have an all-female staff! “I will not shame you by mincing words.”

The offered dish was a seafood stew composed of shellfish, white fish, and a saffron broth. Served with grilled, fresh bread, it was brother’s favorite dish, and he always asked for it to be made for him by the cute, prim Lucille. I’ve had it myself. It was a robust soup that was somehow both light and rich, and even Aria had trouble not drinking all of the broth when all the bread and seafood were gone.

Regally, Shirone brings the soup to her slight, pinkish lip with one hand, whilst her other hand brushes back strands of her hair that threaten to interrupt her vision. The vapors of the hot soup caress her cheeks, and upon her pale skin, the reddish broth nearly casts a faint scarlet glow. She blows upon the hot soup with barely parted lips and a softened gaze, her eyes going from a hardened amber to a soft sunset as she takes in the scent of our family’s favored stew.

Then, when it passes through her lips, caressing her tongue… a sigh leaves her lips!

I literally cannot press the capture photo button fast enough.

This.

Is.

Amazing.

I need every angle. This isn’t the best shot. Why am I here in the doorway. Can I access the security cameras… wait, I’m being an idiot! I can access the internal scrying spells of this household keyed to my blood! Yes! Show me everything! Oh. Goodness. I HAVE ALL THE ANGLES. I need to capture them all. That’s the sideways, slight-headtilt angle. That one features her neck. Her hair is amazing in this one. I can see her eyes better here. Oh… and under the table shot that goes up her abs and shows the slightest strand of saliva connecting her lips to the spoon!!?!?!?!?

I take back my words.

This is just the best day ever.

Wait, I’ve focused too much on the PLOT that I’ve forgotten about the plot!

Shirone-sama, please speak your words of wisdom!

“Ahn, tasty.”

Ahn.

Tasty.

Two words.

Just two words and by kokoro has been broke-oro and then reforged stronger-oro.

Sooooo gooooodddd!

…

Aria looked at me.

I did my best to not meet her dread gaze. Someway, somehow, my sister had an ability that I did not. Within in her eyes lay a terrible ability, a power that I could never reach, which allowed her to lay claim the Gremory name. Though the circumstances of our birth were similar, as were our powers, our bodies differed. Whilst I had the commonly wanted physique she gained an altogether different asset—

She chopped my head.

“Alright, that’s enough sinking into the horrid depths of your hobby in good company, Rias. I knew the week was exhausting, but you can’t relax so freely around our guests.” I did not pout whilst I rubbed my head. I was the very picture of nobility around my sister. There was no way that I’d let her capitalize on my weaknesses so freely. Before her, I had to be strong, respectable, and mighty—oh, what’s this package she has dropped onto my lap. Wait. This scent. Japanese packaging. The texture of this wrapping… familiar. The weight! OH MY GOODNESS!  “Yes. Indeed. You have my permission to stay in your room, refresh yourself, and drool over this newest figure.”

I’d thought that after being caught by a passing maid that I was in for a lecture from Aria, but nothing could be further from the truth!

I’ve been given permission to be a shut-in until I’m fully rested and recovered… with the newest Pearl Shooter figurine ever!

The stockings were removable. The dress could be altered. Certain… places were soft to the touch. It… it has a holographic projector on the stand and in the gun! The gun projects the right color of shots and the stand projects special effects like rubble, wind, and flame… which the animatronic, perfect figurine can react to! Upon her stand, Pearl Shooter will be wirelessly powered and is capable of moving around in a meter radius to enact battle scenes against Ouroboros holograms in seven different settings! Only a hundred of these currently exist, because they wanted the first edition to be perfect and priceless in the future!

It was here in my hands.

Opening the package, I just about screamed when I confirmed that all my suspicions were true!

Today, I not only received the rarest, most desired figurine to ever exist… but also now a whole album of a cute catgirl eating food!

Whoever attacked my province and made me work to the bone for a whole week… I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

This is the best day ever!