Negaverse: Silver Maiden Quest

Negaverse: Silver Maiden Quest

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Commissioned by zomgmikeftw

Word Count: 1004

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Another day, another day towards perfecting humanity and ensuring peace for all time!

Some might find it hard to wake up, especially after their first time waking up involved Lucifer feeding them his blood, and being sent into the past by sacrificing an infinite number of lives, but you’re an optimist.

That’s all in the past!

Literally!

That was a time travel joke!

Today, you’re going to make the world a better place.

One without monsters, the End, and crippling anxiety.

You can handle the first by sacrificing a few million more lives and making the Chimera let down their guard, so that Mister Dream and Miss Infinity can get rid of them, so that’s pretty great!

And, handling humanity’s crippling anxiety is as easy as getting them all nice and organized via some mental reprogramming. That also solves evil, issues of morality, and a whole slew of other problems, but you like to think that being given purpose just makes humans so much happier that they’ll never do bad things again!

Still, that leaves the End.

The biggest bully to ever bully anyone!

Oh, you dislike her so much!

She makes mean monsters, scary monsters, and mean monsters who are scary. Even if she’s kinda/sorta cute, and probably didn’t mean to be born and hurt everyone she’s ever met, that’s no excuse! She needs to go!

Reality’s already in a tizzle because you were born, and you need time to make sure that little issue gets solved, so you need to get your mission parameters done quick, because you’ll probably have to fight against whatever Reality sends after you forever!

But, first, you need to get your bearings.

Saving the world needs to happen one step at a time and—

Oh, Lucifer’s vessel is already here!

Wow!

You’re sssuuuupppeeerrr lucky!

Lucifer really knew where he was way back then! That’s so great!

All you need to do is do some snip-snips to his brain, make him do the right things, and give him a goal and he’ll do what you need him to do! Nice. Two birds with one stone right when you wake up. That’s so great! Wait! You can do even better!

Snip-snips to his compatriot’s brain, make them both transmitters, aaannddd yay! Now everyone that’s going to be around him will do what you want them to! Now, when you set him up to become the Aspect of Conflict, it’ll go off without a hitch! Sure that means having to deal with Lucifer for a bit, but he’s a silly guy who can get manipulated into doing anything!

This is really so great. Even though some of the End’s meanie monsters came through and killed most of your guards, you kill most of the meanies by just sending the rest at them! Whatever’s left you can hunt down later… or have those you recruit hunt down for you! Wow! You sure are pretty smart! You can’t wait to get some “you” time and really get your brain going! If you’re doing this great at your most basic, then you’ll surely be so much more awesome later!

You’re interested in talking with Li Song more, since he was apparently a pretty cool guy before Lucifer messed him up, but that’s then and this is now.

You have loads of people to gather, send against the Endkin that traveled with you, and begin your plan to save the whole world from monsters, the End, and from itself!

That’s a lot of jobs to do… so you need to roll up your sleeves, get to work, and get to snip-snipping!

People aren’t going to do what they need to do, unless you snip-snip them!

But… who shall you snip-snip first?

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(Choose 1 to snip-snip.)

[] Angela: She’s the Archangel Michael reborn! Since Lucifer’s a big, big meanie who’ll become the Aspect of Conflict, you’ll need SOMEONE to counter him. Lucifer’s a big no-no in the future, even though he’s not a no-no now. You need a nice girl like Angela to deal with him! You might not even need to snip-snip her since money comes by easily and you can feed all the orphans she’s currently taking care of! Better yet, you don’t even need to spend that much! They’ll all go away pretty soon, because of all the monsters you’ll be letting through, so this won’t even cost that much!

[] S—Ah, who are you kidding! You have to go with Angela! She’s the best chance you have! There’s no way you can activate Lucifer earlier without Angela!

So, Silver Maiden awaayyy!

…

>zomgmikeftw:

…We’ve made a huge mistake.

>Citino

what

>Dimensionist

GUYS THE QUEST RESTART PROTAGONIST IS PLAYING ON HER OWN.

HOW DO WE STOP THIS.

>Drakebane:

I…I want off this wild ride, Sage.

I’ve wanted off this wild ride for years!

But, you keep pulling shit like this!

It’s been almost half a decade, you’ve convinced almost a hundred fifty people to keep playing your internet text quest, and you’ve kept them at it.

Please, have a speck of mercy and stop hooking me back into it with shit like this!

>Prime 2.0:

I don’t know whether to celebrate or mourn the fact that we’ve made something that plays for us.

‘Snip-snip Li Song’s brain.’

Mourn.

Definitely mourn.

What have we done.

>Kieron:

At… at least she’s doing the right thing, technically? All of our programmed goals are in there. And… and we did choose for her to value saving everyone above all else! That means that we did the right thing, guys!

Barring… barring the casual mental manipulation, coercion, genocide, and…

Nevermind we fucked ourselves.

>Alectai

Excuse me while I go literally die.

>Neroj

…The Discord has imploded.

Prepare yourselves for immnent shitposting that has since been relegated to the Discord.

I’m so sorry.

We just couldn’t take it.

>Gore17:

So, I just had a stroke. I’m at the hospital now. What’d I miss.

>Diller:

I don’t even know how to provide my usual commentary with this…